by Sally Rosa | Jun 27, 2013 | 12 Steps
When I came to, metaphorically and literally, in my first Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, I knew I’d met my match. See, even at twenty years old, sitting in a musty room with people double and triple my age, I felt at home. Not at home like when I sank into my bed and spent the evening with a sexy little bottle of Evan Williams. At home like even though I knew nothing of AA, I knew I’d found my answer.
Now, let’s not get it twisted! I didn’t walk into my first AA meeting with birds chirping, rainbows shining, and friends cheering, “Hey Buddy! You’ve arrived! Welcome Home!” No, I walked in that damn door with the triangle because I was out of options.
See, my entire life I knew Alcoholics Anonymous existed. Growing up, I wasn’t the most well behaved child. Drugs and alcohol played a huge role in my poor behavior and AA was usually where I was sent as punishment. Not to mention, my best friend’s parents have been sober our entire lives. They’ve also been very active in the AA community in our town. Meanwhile, we were always in trouble. We were always caught doing the wrong thing, at the wrong time. We’d end up banished to AA meetings for several hours. I didn’t like it. I didn’t want to relate. I’d spend the entire meeting thinking about how AA was such a cult. As I got older, my drinking and drugging got worse. I tried therapy, moderation, and different “maintenance plans.” I tried everything I could think of to piece my life together. Everything except going to meetings!
Finally, when I was ready for help, I knew where to go – Alcoholics Anonymous. When I was ready to accept help, to get honest about my addiction, my perception of AA changed. This wasn’t some creepy cult, this was a wonderful service that existed solely to provide help for an addict like me! I didn’t have to pay anything, there weren’t any crazy rituals, and there wasn’t anything too intellectually hard to swallow.
Here I am, four years later, twenty-four years old and sober! For years, I resisted going to AA for one reason or another. I have every excuse in the book. I was too young, I wasn’t an alcoholic, I could do those damn steps by myself, and so on. However, when I was all out of options, when I was sick and tired of being sick and tired, I knew I couldn’t live filled with addiction. Alcoholics Anonymous was there for me. They welcomed me. Alcoholics Anonymous provided the steps, the structure, and the support I desperately needed. Alcoholics Anonymous saved my life. Alcoholics Anonymous gave me a life far better than any I could have imagined.
by Sally Rosa | Dec 21, 2012 | 12 Steps, Addiction Treatment
Being the Mother of an Addict Isn’t Easy
I’ve been on the journey of recovery with my daughter for six years. Today she celebrates twenty months sober!
That’s almost two years. Remember, I said we’ve been on this journey for six. My daughter, who’s twenty-five, has been trying to get sober since nineteen. Even before that, it was clear something bad was going on.
Over the past twenty months, I’ve learned my daughter’s sobriety is in her own hands. Her sobriety isn’t in my hands. Her sobriety isn’t in her father’s hands. Her sobriety isn’t in her friend’s hands. That wasn’t an easy lesson to learn. It took years to accept and even longer to really feel in my heart.
I’m active in my own recovery as the parent of an addict. That means I go to Al-Anon. I go to a support group. I have my own therapist. My husband and I have a marriage counselor. My daughter, husband, and I have a family therapist.
Halfway Houses Help Addicts
I’m a firm believer in the value of halfway houses. Aside from my daughter going to treatment, going to a halfway house was the best decision she ever made.
Halfway houses are a vital part of any addict’s recovery. I’ve seen the benefit firsthand. My daughter lived in one for eight months. She didn’t always like it, in fact, she often didn’t like it. She stayed though. She stayed and learned how to get better.
Residential addiction treatment sets the stage for long-term recovery. However, it’s putting those skills learned in treatment into daily practice that ensures long-term recovery. Practicing behaviors like accountability, honesty, responsibility, and reaching out allow addicts to enter the “real world” with their heads held high. Practicing these behaviors allows addicts to meet the expectations and challenges that come with being a sober adult.
Halfway Houses Help Families Too
A child’s time in a halfway house helps their family as well. Simple as that.
The months my daughter spent in her halfway house helped me and my husband to address our co-dependency issues. The halfway house staff was invaluable in bringing this issue to our attention. I learned it’s easy to fall back into enabling behavior.
I wouldn’t have been able to work on myself, nor my husband on himself, if our daughter didn’t have the support she needed. I wouldn’t have been able to work on myself if my daughter didn’t have the structure, reinforcement, and personal guidance she received at her halfway house.
My experience of good halfway house providers is that they know how to support addicts in early recovery.
This support includes:
-Holding newly sober addicts accountable for their actions
-Helping them contribute to the house (chores, cleaning, etc.)
-Helping them maintain employment
-Introducing them to recovery communities
-Ensuring participation in twelve-step fellowships
One final benefit of halfway houses is their rent is realistic. It won’t break the addict’s bank. There aren’t any leases to sign, rent is paid week-to-week. This ensures that if someone does relapse, they can be immediately kicked out without losing a lot of money and, more importantly, keeping the rest of the residents safe. These small financial steps help addicts to budget and rebuild their financial life as well.
