Apr 9, 2015 | Addiction Articles, Benefits of Sobriety
The Roast of Justin Bieber
The roast of Justin Bieber. Ah, the roast of Justin Bieber. It was funny…but not very helpful. This guy, the Bieber, actually needs help. So, I decided I would roast him from the point of view of a sponsor…that he will one day need!
Listen Up, Justin
Thank you for having me here tonight, Justin. It’s really not an honor to be here because if you’d lived your life in a different way, no one would care enough to spend two-hours making fun of you.
You drive too fast, say stupid stuff, act like people you aren’t, and think that you’re God’s gift to twelve-year olds. You act the same way Michael Jackson did. He had a monkey. So did you. Michael Jackson is dead.
The point here, little buddy, is that if you don’t change your actions, thought, and behaviors, you’ll die too!
I know from the top of the mountain everything looks pretty great. Why stop now, right? Well, see you can shut down that part a few years early and start building credibility, respect, dignity, and a life of purpose. You can start being of service and making those around you and the world a better place.
I mean you could do all that and use your immense popularity to solve problems. But why do that? It’s much easier to run around looking like six-year old doing an impersonation of an adult, wearing adult close, and making ten times an adult’s salary.
Keep it up buddy! If you wear a cool looking hat, tomorrow millions of kids will be wearing that hat. That must make you feel good. You could wear a t-shirt with a logo of the American Cancer Society on it, tweet about donating money to fighting cancer, promise to match the donations of your followers, and actually bring some good to this world. That, though, probably wouldn’t make you feel as good as a fat wallet and huge ego.
We have two choices, Beebs. We can chose to take what God has given us and help other or we can take what God has given us and help ourselves.
You chose the “I’m going to be a tiny famous mess route.” That’s cool. A lot of people went that way too. I’m talking about Judas, A-Rod, and Hitler. I guess you feel it’s better to have it all for a couple of years than to have dignity and respect forever.
Again, it’s your choice Beebs. If you’d chosen to do the right thing, we wouldn’t be here tonight. If you’d chosen to do the right thing, you probably wouldn’t be rich. If you’d chosen to do the right thing, your mom wouldn’t have money. So, I can see why you chose selfishness.
If you did choose the right path, though, you’d probably have more money in the long run, more respect and dignity, and your mother would have money and a son that people respect.
Goodnight and God Bless!
Mar 26, 2015 | Addiction Articles, Benefits of Sobriety
Recovery Isn’t Easy
On of my favorite sayings goes a little something like this – I’m not telling you it’s going to be easy, I’m telling you it’s going to be worth it.
I’m not sure who first uttered those words. Maybe it was an athlete or a coach or somebody like that. What I am sure of is that saying applies 100% to recovery.
It doesn’t matter if we’re talking about recovery from addiction, from an eating disorder, from self-harm, or from anything else. Recovery is difficult. It’s fraught with emotional valleys and tough terrain.
Of course, recovery’s also filled with the most wonderful moments I could ever imagine. In my experience, though, we remember the challenging times more than the good ones. I think that’s just how life is.
Recovery is Worth It
Even though it’s difficult at times, recovery is SO worth it! I’m preaching to the choir here, I’m sure, but let’s explore some of what makes sobriety so wonderful.
First, and most importantly, there’s the freedom! Imagine being imprisoned for so long that you forget you’re imprisoned. Imagine forgetting what the outside looks like. The sun, the breeze, the bright blue sky…you don’t remember what any of those are.
That’s what active addiction and alcoholism are like! We’re stuck in a self-imposed prison of fear, anger, resentment, self-pity, and selfishness. We’ve been stuck there so long that we’ve forgotten freedom even exists!
So, to get sober is to be free. Even during the tough times, the times when a drink or drug is screaming our name, we’re still free. We’re bathed in the sunlight of the spirit, to quote the Big Book.
Then there’s the relationships recovery gives us! Did you know I never once had a real relationship before getting sober? Well, with the exception of my parents and grandparents. I had selfish motives in mind, coconsciously or unconsciously, during every other interaction with a human being.
And then I got sober. I suddenly realized there was an entire world (really, the entire world!) of people I could help. There was an entire world of people I could talk to with nothing selfish in mind. I could do something for someone and except nothing in return!
That was an eye opener to say the least!
What other blessings did I receive as a result of recovery? Well, they’re pretty much endless! I gained acceptance. If something doesn’t go my way, well, I don’t have to like it. What I do have to do, though, is accept it.
I could never do that in active addiction and alcoholism. I could never accept anything, good or bad! Today, I can accept anything. Sometimes it takes a little kicked and screaming (remember, recovery isn’t easy!), but I’ll eventually feel the truth of it in my bones.
I gained love, which goes back to being selfless. I learned how to love someone with my entire heart. Want to know the secret? It’s as simple as putting someone else’s needs before your own. That’s love! Of course, then we have to watch out for codependency, but that’s an article for another time!
I gained emotional stability. I’m no longer a rollercoaster of up’s and down’s. I’m no longer angry, scared, happy, and sad all within ten seconds! Today, I’m able to experience an emotion without running from it. I’m able to embrace everything this world makes me feel.
Sometimes these feelings are good and sometimes they’re bad. But guess what? I’m able to sit and experience each one. What a blessing!
So remember, it’s not going to be easy, but it’s going to be so worth it!
Jan 21, 2015 | Addiction Articles, Benefits of Sobriety
Emotional Sobriety: A Four Letter Word?
Ah, emotional sobriety! I’ve written about it before, I’m writing about it now, and you best believe I’ll write about it in the future.
That’s because this tricky little idea encapsulates, in my opinion, the rest of the program. Emotional sobriety is how we gauge how well we’re living. It’s how we tell whether we’re practicing spiritual principles in all our affairs.
It’s also super hard! Imagine going through life a serene, peaceful person. Sounds nice, right? Too bad it rarely happens! Now, that isn’t to say we don’t have minutes, hours, or even days of emotional serenity, but it usually doesn’t last.
So, how can we make it last? How can we stretch those minutes, hours, and days into weeks, months, and years? Perhaps that’s a questions best left to the old-timers. I’m taking a stab at answering it today though!
Practice Radical Honesty
It’s hard to be bent out of shape if you’re honest all the time!
When I’m practicing radical honesty, I don’t have any secrets to hide. I don’t have any regrets or anxious thoughts clouding my mind. Basically, when I practice radical honesty, I’m also emotionally sober.
It’s important to remember, though, there’s a fine line between radical honesty and being mean! Let’s say I’m sitting in a meeting and I don’t like what someone shared. Do I raise my hand and tear them to pieces? That’s being honest, right?
Wrong! It’s being selfish! Just because I don’t agree with someone doesn’t mean I have the right to act out. So toe that line, ladies!
Live on God’s Terms
This one might be kind of obvious, but here ya go. If I’m living life on God’s terms, rather than my own, I’m emotionally sober.
If I’m praying, meditating, doing daily inventories, going to meetings, reaching my hand out to struggling women, calling my sober supports, working with sponsees, and handling all of life’s responsibilities – I’m also living in emotional sobriety.
It’s that simple!
Rework the Steps
I’ve found the best way for me to live life on God’s terms is to dive back into step work. Remember, that’s just for me.
If I’m struggling to live the sort of life I should be living, I need to get back to the book. I need to get back to what twelve-step sobriety is all about! I accomplish this by reworking the steps.
Sometimes this takes the form of reworking my steps with my sponsor. Sometimes it takes the form of working the steps with a new sponsee. Sometimes it takes the form of going to twelve step-series meetings.
Whatever the form, the result is the same. I end up feeling better. I end up living healthier. I end up in emotional sobriety!
Seek Outside Help
Sometimes our problems (okay, okay, I’ll only speak for myself!) are so big that I need to seek outside help. Think things like being sober yet acting out on self-harm or an eating disorder. Think clinical depression, anxiety, or other disorders.
When I’m struggling with issues like these, emotional sobriety is impossible. Not only is emotional sobriety and stability impossible, but so it being a decent human being!
So, when dealing with these game changers, I need to seek outside help. It can be from a private therapist, a therapy group, a mental health facility, or even from a friend who’s specialized in any of the above areas.
Basically, taking these measures is how I address all my emotional needs. And, dear readers, once my emotional needs are in order, I’m able to practice that ever so elusive emotional sobriety!
Jan 19, 2015 | Addiction Articles, Benefits of Sobriety
The Benefits of a Deadly Disease
Chances are that if you ask ten random people the benefits of being an alcoholic, they won’t be able to list any. Well guess what random people, you’re wrong!
It took me awhile to realize that being an alcoholic, in recovery of course, is actually a blessing. Think about it, we survived! We survived and we thrived! We survived, thrived, and now have pride!
Okay, lame rhyming attempts aside, it’s absolutely true that being an alcoholic is a blessing. Seriously, where else can you gain gratitude, humility, and a spiritual way of life? I can’t think of anywhere!
Take a trip with me, readers. Take a trip with me down a road by the name of “why being an alcoholic rocks!”
We Have the BEST Friends
Duh! I have the type of friends that I can call crying at three in the morning and they’ll stay up talking to me until sunrise. Where else do you find friends like that?
In the rooms of recovery, we’re in a life or death struggle with our disease. We’re all in the same boat, whether we have twenty days or twenty years. For this reason, and many, many more, the friendships that develop are extra special.
Not only do my friends and I share similar experiences, but we also share similar thinking! We share similar thoughts, neurotic or otherwise!
So yeah, being an alcoholic rocks because we have the best friends.
We Have Gratitude
I read these articles and watch these TV shows where they talk about how people need to have gratitude. Guess what? I have it in spades!
I’m grateful I’m alive. I’m grateful I’m able to help other women. I’m grateful I’m able to let other women help me. I’m grateful my parents answer the phone when I call. I’m grateful I can hold a job. I’m grateful I can grow at a job. I’m grateful.
Remember, though, gratitude is an action word. It’s easy for me to forget about gratitude and get caught up in life. When that happens, I need to start reaching out to new women. Then I’m knocked right back on the gratitude train!
We Have Perspective
You know what happens when I get cut off in traffic, am late for work, get yelled at, spill salad dressing on my shirt, and go home to find the cat threw up on my bed? I smile and thank God I’m sober.
Think about it, we’re sober today. How amazing is that! Alcoholics and addicts are hardwired and programmed to drink and drug. Today we’re not drinking and drugging. Today we’re living by spiritual principles. Toady we’re helping others.
That’s nothing short of a miracle. And that knowledge, my friends, is called perspective. So I had a bad day? Guess what, it’s better than any day I had a bottle to my lips or a needle in my arm. End of story.
We Have God in Our Lives
As if all of the above weren’t enough, being sober also let’s us have God in our lives. Now this is the biggest blessing of them all. This is how I’m able to experience all those other blessings. This is how I’m able to look the world in the eye and exclaim “Bring it on!”
See, normies have no need for God. Well, that’s not true. Most of them need God pretty badly! But they don’t always see it that way.
Us addicts and alcoholics, though, we know the score. We know that without some form of Higher Power, we’re toast. How cool is that?
We’re basically forced into letting God into our lives. Then we find out that having God in our lives is the best thing that could ever happen. She, he, it, them, whatever you want to call your Higher Power, is a source of inspiration, comfort, hope, and, above all else, love.
Am I missing anything? Let us know on social media!!
Jul 16, 2014 | Addiction Articles, Benefits of Sobriety
Living Life on Life’s Terms Isn’t Always Easy
I Was An Addict Before I Started Using Drugs
My mother claims that, even when I was younger, I needed outside stimulation. Living life in a normal way just wasn’t doing it for me. I wasn’t allowed to watch TV at home, but when I went to friends’ houses I watched a lot! I remember my best friend complaining that I wasn’t fun to be around because all I’d do was watch TV. She used to say things to me and I was so entranced I wouldn’t hear her.
To me, this is an early example of my difficulties with living life on life’s term. It’s an early example of my alcoholic tendencies. Guess what? Drugs had the same effect on me as TV. The world suddenly wasn’t so boring. I wasn’t interested in living life for what it was. I found ways to escape, first as a young girl with TV, and later as a teenager with drugs and alcohol.
Read about how you can live your dreams!
An Escape from Life on Life’s Terms
Drugs took me away from the world I lived in. In the beginning they made life more exciting. With them came a ton of new experiences and people. Many of the drugs I tried made the world change. I thought they were giving me a new perspective.
What I was unaware of was that they also shortened my perspective. The group of people I hung out with became smaller and more selfish. We stopped talking about the world. Instead, we spoke about the made up experiences in our minds that we found while high. Drugs became our sole topic of conversation. It was this kind of thinking that landed me in rehab.
Understanding the Concept of Life on Life’s Terms
Another part of the thinking that lead me into rehab was how I’d always feel like there was something I was missing out on. I’d always feel like there was something more than living life at the moment. I didn’t understand the concept of life on life’s terms. I had distorted beliefs about what I deserved and what my life should look like. It was like I was always waiting for something to happen. The problem with this way of living is that life was happening and I let it pass me by. By not accepting life for what it was, I was choosing to ignore it. By making the decision that life was boring as it was, and only drugs could enhance it, I was missing the actual opportunities that life provides.
Read this amazing story about one women’s journey to sobriety
Living Life in Recovery
Humans are hardwired to endure. Our bodies have survival responses programed into them. For thousands of years, we produced adrenaline so we’d avoid death in dangerous situations. Today, we don’t use these instincts as often as we used to. Addicts and alcoholics sometimes create situations to stimulate these senses. We create challenges in a world where we may not need to. When we stop creating fake realities to stimulate our senses, or fake problems to make our lives more interesting, the world can reveal what it really is. I’m constantly amazed by what I can do when I let life be, now that I’m living life in recovery.
