by Fiona Stockard | Sep 29, 2014 | Drug Addiction
Written By: Fiona Stockard
Firsthand Addiction: What’s Jail Really Like?
Jail sucks. Everyone knows that. I mean, if I asked a roomful of people if they wanted to go to jail, would anyone raise their hand? Hell no!
Unfortunately, jail’s a part of life for addicts. If I wasn’t doing illegal stuff, I wouldn’t have been able to support my expensive as f**k drug habit. Now, I don’t want to put words in anyone’s mouth, but the same can be said for most addicts. Plus, we’re usually good at plotting and scheming.
What’s jail really like though? Is it as bad as TV shows make it out to be? Are people getting shanked left and right? Let’s find out!
My Experiences With Jail
I’ve been to jail three times and (surprise) none were fun. They didn’t completely suck either though.
I was arrested when I was fifteen for shoplifting. I don’t know why the cop didn’t let me go with a warning. I mean, come on, I was fifteen! Oh wait, probably ‘cause he found the drugs in my pocket. It was just weed though! Whatever, the point is I was shipped to a juvenile detention facility until I could go to court.
I was there for one day and one night. I didn’t get shanked. I didn’t get beaten up. I didn’t get made some woman’s b***h. It wasn’t that bad, actually. There were some thug-life girls who kept eyeballing me, but I just ignored them.
There were also a few really nice older girls. They’d been in juvie before and knew the deal. They told me what to expect in court – how I should throw myself on the judge’s mercy and say I’d never get high or steal again. Guess what? I did just that and it worked! I was released with no juvenile probation, only fines.
I wasn’t as lucky the next two times I was arrested. Both times were for possession of heroin and I was pretty dope sick in jail. I was locked up for a few days the second time and a little over two months the third time. I was over eighteen too, so I got thrown in big-girl jail. No more easy juvie for me. Dammit!
Still, I didn’t get beat up, or shanked, or made anyone’s b***h. The worst parts were being dope sick, not being able to smoke, and the crappy food. It’s not like I had an appetite anyway though!
Once again, an older woman came to my rescue. She was a longtime junkie and knew what I was going through. She gave me some of her meds (non-narcotic, of course). They helped a little bit.
The second time I was arrested, I was released with probation. The third time I wasn’t as lucky. I spent two months in jail, was mandated to drug court, and had my probation extended. You’d think that would get me sober, right? Nope. It just made me pretty good at hiding my drug use.
So, maybe getting shanked and all that bad stuff only happens in prison. Luckily, I wasn’t sent there, so I don’t know. Maybe it’s all made up to sell TV shows and movies. Again, I don’t know. I do know that I haven’t been back to jail in over six years. Normal people might think that’s, well, normal. Me though? I’m pretty f**king proud of myself!
by Sally Rosa | Sep 18, 2014 | Drug Addiction
Robin Thicke: Living The High Life
Singer Robin Thicke hasn’t been having a good couple of years.
Robin became incredibly popular during the summer of 2013, thanks to his blockbuster song “Blurred Lines.” However, it turns out “Blurred Lines” isn’t his song, he was high and drunk all the time, he’s being sued, and his wife divorced him. Tough breaks, Robin.
Isn’t that what happens to active addicts, though? Don’t our lives go to s**t? Okay, yeah, I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s look at just what all this fuss is about.
The Summer of 2013
Depending on how you look at it, summer 2013 was either a great or horrible time for Robin Thicke. “Blurred Lines” toped the pop charts for sixteen weeks. It sold over six million copies. It made Thicke a household name. It was also heavily criticized for promoting rape culture. Oh, and he was high and drunk the entire time.
“I had a drug and alcohol problem for the year [2013] and I didn’t do a sober interview so I don’t recall many things that I said..I didn’t do a single interview last year without being high on both…Every day I woke up, I would take a Vicodin to start the day and then I would fill up a water bottle with Vodka and drink it before and during my interviews,” Thicke admitted during a court deposition.
Damn, Robin! I mean, pills and vodka is always a winning combination, but you seem to have taken it pretty far! Guess what else? Turns out Robin Thicke didn’t even write “Blurred Lines.”
According to Thicke himself, “He [Pharrell, the song’s producer] was very generous by giving me a larger percentage of publishing than I deserved.” Thicke is credited with writing 20% of the hit song. Turns out he wrote very little. His main contribution were the amazing (come on, they were!) vocals.
Thicke’s Court Battle
Okay, a lot happened for Robin Thicke in the summer of 2013. Why’d he come clean about his drug and alcohol use, though? What was he doing giving a legal deposition in the first place?
Well, the family of Marvin Gaye is suing Thicke, Pharrell, and rapper T.I. (all three have publishing credits on “Blurred Lines”). Gaye’s family claims that the three stole major parts of their song from the 1977 hit, “Got To Give It Up.”
Things keep getting worse for Robin Thicke!
So, while giving a deposition, Thicke admitted to heavy drug and alcohol abuse. Is this some sort of legal Hail Mary? Is he trying to evade responsibility by claiming drug abuse rendered him incapable of ripping off Marvin Gaye’s hit? Is he saying he didn’t write much of the song in an attempt to push blame onto Pharrell?
I think the answer is simpler.
What Happens to Addicts When We Use
I started to address this above. When addicts use drugs or alcohol, our lives fall apart. For people like us, drugs and booze bring clouds of suffering. They cause us to make crappy decisions, lie, hurt people, and generally behavior like selfish a*sholes.
Robin’s problem isn’t that he’s a bad person, or that he ripped off a song, or that his wife divorced him (oh, I forgot to mention that. In July, the couple divorced). No, Robin’s problem is that he’s an addict and alcoholic.
He got high for a long time, including during the recording of “Blurred Lines.” Did he steal the song from Marvin Gaye? Who knows. It’s possible, but people engaged in that argument are missing the point. Robin Thicke is a sick and suffering addict. He needs help.
Maybe we can all lay off him for a minute and let Thicke get the help he needs. After all, what do we say at the end of most twelve-step meetings? That’s right – let’s have a moment of silence for the still sick and suffering addict and alcoholic. Let’s all take a moment of silence and hope Robin gets help.
by A Women in Sobriety | Sep 10, 2014 | Drug Addiction
This article originally appeared on Addiction Blog
How Addiction Really Affects The Family
We all know the scare stories about how addicts hurt their families. We’ve heard about the crying parents, the terrified siblings, and the confused aunts and uncles.
We’ve probably experienced them too! I know I took my family to hell and back during active addiction. Will I ever really know what they went through though? I decided to interview my family and find out.
My Parents
Sobriety for Women: So, how’d you do it? I probably scared you both to death for years.
Mom: You did, but that’s part of being a parent too. I’m not trying to take you off the hook by any means, but having kids is a terrifying experience to begin with. It doesn’t help if your daughter is abusing drugs, but even if you didn’t cause one problem, I’d still find something to worry about.
Dad: I saw things a little differently. Your mom is absolutely right, being a parent is an exercise in terror. Seeing your kid take drugs and become a drug addict though, that was rough. It was hard being powerless. I didn’t think that I was powerless for a long time either. I thought that if I were just harder on you, you’d clean up. It took some time to get rid of that way of thinking.
S4W: What was it like seeing me in active addiction?
Mom: It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to deal with, maybe the hardest. Your father talked about being powerless to change your behavior and he’s right. Seeing you hurt yourself over and over and not being able to do anything? That was horrible. It was also hard to understand that you were sick. I think addiction causes a lot of anger. I was angry with you for a long time. I’d stay up late, asking myself “why can’t she just stop? Doesn’t she see how much she’s hurting us and herself?”
Dad: Anger was huge for me, too. I couldn’t understand why you kept using drugs. It was easier to be angry than to confront the fact that my daughter might die. That’s something that no parent wants to consider. Seeing you in your addiction was hard too, because I blamed myself for a long time. I thought that your shortcomings were because I hadn’t raised you right. There was a lot of “I should have” and “why didn’t I?” happening.
S4W: So, again, how’d you do it? How’d you cope?
Mom: A lot of praying! I’m not sure, truthfully. It was hard. We have good friends and they helped a lot. None of them had children who dealt with drug addiction though. Your father and I went to a support group for a year or so. It was offered through one of the outpatient centers you went to. That was a lifesaver. Being able to vent about everything that was going on with you, as well as the issues your father and I were having, was priceless. Even better, the other families would talk to us after. They would let us know that they’d been where we were and things got better. It gave me a lot of hope.
Dad: Yeah, the support group helped a lot. One of the things parents of addicts don’t hear about a lot, and something I want them to know, is that your marriage may suffer. It happened to us. We were so wrapped up in trying to help you, that we ignored each other and, after awhile, we became angry with each other. I think we blamed each other for your issues. So, having somewhere to go and find out that we weren’t to blame, that was important.
My Siblings
I asked my brother some similar questions. He’s two years younger than I am.
S4W:What was my addiction like for you?
Little Bro: It was hard. I was pretty pissed at you while you were using and for a long time afterwards, too. We had some of the same friends and hung out with similar people, so I didn’t get why they were fine and you were a mess. It was hard too because I thought I always had to stand up for you. Even though you were older, it felt kind of like I was protecting you. So, that was pretty stressful.
S4W: I bet! I know we didn’t talk at all towards the end of my addiction. What was going through your head then?
Little Bro: I mean, like I said, I was just really pissed at you. I felt like you’d worn down mom and dad. You made them angry and scared all the time. That seemed really unfair to me. Plus, you kept messing up and they were always there to bail you out. It seemed like no matter how much you f**ked up, they’d take care of you and ignore me. Not ignore, but you know what I mean. Like, it seemed that they took for granted that I was always going to be okay, and you never were.
S4W:So, how’d you get over it? How’d you forgive me?
Little Bro:You just earned it. I didn’t forgive you the day you went to rehab, or for like a year afterwards, but down the line I did. You showed you were different. You showed you were a new person and a new sister. I think you reaching out to me helped a lot, too. You wouldn’t let me stay pissed at you!
by Sally Rosa | Sep 3, 2014 | Addiction Articles, Drug Addiction
Written By: Fiona Stockard
Wes Welker Suspended
Wes Welker, a wide receiver on the Denver Broncos, was just suspended from the first four games of the NFL season.
Okay, first off, who cares about football? Second, who cares if a player is suspended? Oh, right, everyone cares about football! I’m a girl and I care about football!
More importantly, Welker was suspended because he tested positive for amphetamines. He’s denying everything. That’s a smart move, Wes. I played the “I don’t know” card more times than I can count!
“I’m as shocked as everyone at today’s news,” Welker stated. “I want to make one thing abundantly clear: I would NEVER knowingly take a substance to gain a competitive advantage in any way.”
Why Did He Test Positive?
There’s a rumor going around that Welker took Molly while partying at the Kentucky Derby. He strongly denies this. “That’s a joke. I don’t do marijuana, I don’t do drugs. I don’t do any drugs,” he stated.
Yeah, Wes, I didn’t do any drugs either. When the police found heroin and syringes on me? That must have been some kind of mistake!
Regardless of how Welker ended up testing positive, the fact that he did pop positive remains. So, what now?
Well, he’s suspended for four games and eligible to return to the NFL on October 6th. Until then, the Broncos will have to wait and pray.
A Disturbing Trend
Wes Welker is the second Denver Bronco suspended this preseason for violating the NFL’s substance policy. Bronco kicker Matt Prater is also going to miss the first four games for repeated alcohol violations. Hmmm. I guess Denver really is the mile high city!
That’s not the end of this story though. There’s a disturbing trend going on in the NFL right now. Wes Welker is the thirty-third player to be suspended this preseason and the thirtieth to be suspended for violating the league’s substance policy.
Let’s slow down a minute and think about this. Welker is the 30th player to be suspended during the preseason for substance abuse. 30. Suspensions. During. The. Preseason. Holy s**t.
According to SporTrac.com, this number is up 60% from 2013. That’s a dramatic increase. Why? Why are all these players being suspended for substance abuse? Are more players getting high? Is the NFL just starting to do something now? What’s going on here?
What’s The Solution?
Welker emailed the Denver Post on September 2nd. In this email he stated, “I have never been concerned with the leagues performance enhancing or drug abuse policies because under no scenario would they ever apply to me, but I now know, that [drug-policy procedures] are clearly flawed, and I will do everything in my power to ensure they are corrected, so other individuals and teams aren’t negatively affected so rashly like this.”
With players calling for drug-policy modification, maybe the NFL’s substance policy will change. Who knows? Maybe their substance policy doesn’t need to be changed. Maybe players need to stop getting high. Who knows? I certainly don’t have the answers.
What I do have are the questions I just asked. Those are the questions we need to be asking. That’s the conversation we need to be starting. If change happens, it’s going to be from ordinary people sitting down and talking. It’s going to be from us!
by A Women in Sobriety | Aug 25, 2014 | Addiction Articles, Drug Addiction
Written By: Fiona Stockard
Firsthand Addiction: What Addiction is Really Like
The term addiction is tossed around loosely and frequently now-a-days. “I’m addicted to buying shoes,” or “I’m addicted to diet soda,” or “I’m, like, so addicted to being in the club right now!” We hear this stuff everyday. Have we forgotten what addiction really is?
Let’s find out what addiction looks like as we explore it from one addict’s perspective.
What is Addiction, Anyway?
Addiction is when someone has a physical allergy to substances, mixed with a mental obsession about those substances, both of which are driven by a spiritual malady. That’s a very twelve-step way of looking at it, but it’s also the only way that’s ever made sense to me.
So, what’s this physical allergy all about? I think of it like having any other allergy. If a bee stings me, the area around the sting gets all puffy and gross. If I use drugs, my body processes them differently, and demands more. My body gets all puffy and gross, metaphorically and literally!
In active addiction, the only way I could stop this physical allergy was to be removed from the drugs. I had to be arrested, or in rehab, or locked in a room without a key. Otherwise, I was going to find a way to use. In sobriety, stopping the allergy is as simple as not picking up a drink or drug.
The mental obsession is exactly what it sounds like. When the thought of using pops into my head, it won’t leave until I use. If you’re not an addict, this is probably the hardest part to understand. Why not just think about something else? Why not see a shrink? It doesn’t work like that for addicts. I don’t know why, it just doesn’t.
Stopping the mental obsession is simple, but not easy! Basically, addicts need to experience an “emotional rearrangement” if they want to get better. Our core values and guiding principals need to be swapped out for new ones. The only way I know to accomplish this is through building a relationship with God. Remember, simple but not easy!
The spiritual malady sounds much harder to understand than it is. Really, it means all the crap that made me use in the first place. Things like low self-esteem, insecurity, anger, resentment, and self-pity. Once these are dealt with, the spiritual malady goes away.
The best way to remove these things is through God. While therapy helps tremendously, it isn’t a replacement for getting in touch with a higher power. Again, I don’t know why this is, it just is.
How Can I Tell if I’m an Addict?
Addiction boils down to two things, control and choice. Sounds too simple, right? Diagnosing addiction based on just two criteria? There are doctors who charge thousands of dollars to determine if you’re “really” an addict. Just ask yourself the following two questions:
• When I use drugs, can I choose when to stop?
• For that matter, can I choose when to start using, or does it just sort of happen?
If you answered no to one question, you may have a problem. If you answered no to both, you’re probably an addict.
It’s important for me to make clear – I’m not a doctor! All my advice is based on my own experience with addiction and recovery. Everything I know, I learned through treatment and twelve-step fellowships.
What I’m trying to say is – don’t be an idiot. Get a second opinion. If you’re dealing with cancer, you’d get a second opinion. Treat addiction just as seriously as cancer. Trust me, it is.
I’m an Addict…What Can I Do?
There are a ton of options available for treating addiction. We’re lucky ‘cause this wasn’t always the case. Treatment options include:
• One-on-One Addiction Therapy
• Intensive Outpatient Treatment
• Outpatient Treatment
• Inpatient Treatment
• Twelve-Step Fellowships (AA, NA, CA, etc.)
• Self-Help Groups (SMART Recovery, Rational Recovery, etc.)
What do these treatment options mean for the still sick and suffering addict? Simply put, they mean get off your ass and start getting better! A ton of options are available, don’t be lazy. There’s no better day than today to change your life!
