by Sally Rosa | Jan 14, 2014 | Addiction Articles, Recovery
My head hurt. I had staples in my forehead, dried blood above my eyebrow. I had a bike with a flat tire, one suitcase of clothes. That’s it.
Did I turn to God? Did I get a sponsor? Did I go to a meeting? No, not on that first day. God I would find on day thirty. The sponsor I would find on day seven. I went to a meeting on day two. On day one, I turned to music.
On day one, I saw an article about a new band, Augustines. They just realized their first single that day. An album was coming in a few months. Augustines’ lead singer is Billy McCarthy. Billy wrote an entire album for his brother, a man who’d recently died as a result of addiction.
Their single, “Book of James,” was released on my sobriety date. It set ablaze a chain of events that brought two strangers together, sent two mens’ lives soaring, and become the spark in my quest for long-term sobriety.
I Guess You’re Either Headin’ Somewhere or Endin’ Up Somewhere
“I tried the bible, tried the bottle, tried the needle, tried to love people in the end”
Maybe it was that first day when I found God. Billy’s lyrics hit me hard. I had nothing. No friends, my family didn’t want to talk to me, and my work was half a second from firing me. Still, this stranger seemed to know me better than anyone. So, what did I do? I e-mailed him.
I told Billy of my decade long struggle. I told him how much his music meant to me. He responded within a day, telling me how he was trying again to make it in the music industry, in the wake of his brother’s death. We were both fighting uphill battles. At the end of his e-mail, Billy wrote
“I won’t give up, if you don’t. Onward!”
-Billy McCarthy
He Had One Song And I Had One Day
Augustines’ released their album several months later. It gave me a never-ending supply of motivation.
There were lyrics that explained how I felt after my relapse –
I’m a bowl of bruised fruit inside a chapel of shiny apples
Lyrics that told me to look toward the future –
Tear up the photograph ’cause it’s a bright blue sky
Lyrics that inspired me to work harder –
Keep your head up kid, I know you can swim, But ya gotta move your legs
And a haunting reminder of a brother’s love –
Well call the police, go ahead call your shrink
Call whoever you want but I won’t stop the car
Well call the police, go ahead call your priest
Call whoever you want, call in the National Guard
These Songs Kept Me Going and Billy’s Promise Kept Me Moving
I went to a meeting everyday. I got a sponsor. I worked the steps. I made amends. I got my family back. I sponsored other people. I got a used car. I got a new car. I bought a home. I fell in love. I found my best friend. I was blessed with three more small best friends. I found God in my life.
And Billy? He kept in touch, always e-mailing back. He kept his promise.
From One Song to Letterman
The Augustines performed “Chapel Song” live on Letterman. I was so proud, so impressed. In the middle of the performance, Billy gave Eric a great big smile. Just for a moment, all the demons and the memories of the past faded. He made it.
Now, the band is set to release their second full-length album. The new songs continue to build on their promise of hope, the promise proclaimed by their first album, titled “Rise Ye Sunkin’ Ships”
Last night, I got to see The Augustines perform. I finally got to meet Billy. He told me he was proud of me. I thanked him for everything. I met Rob and Eric. They all men seemed so excited to meet me! The energy, the passion, the music…was unbelievable. Before the band played their last song of the night, Billy yelled
“This next song is for my friend Tim. Keep up the good work buddy!”
He then launched into “Book of James.”
Listen, it doesn’t matter where your motivation comes from. It doesn’t matter what it takes to get into recovery. It doesn’t matter if it’s a song, a painting, a poem, a friend, a brother. It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter how you get to this world, just get here and you’ll be amazed at the wonderful people you meet along the way.
If you don’t give up, we won’t. Onward!
by Sally Rosa | Dec 18, 2013 | Addiction Articles, Recovery
What Exactly is a Halfway House?
Simply put, a halfway house is a sober-living environment for addicts and alcoholics in early recovery. Halfway houses help people make the transition from active addiction to responsible member of society.
This transition, from active addiction to the real world, is hard! Looking for a way to support and help ourselves through early sobriety is also pretty tough. Halfway houses help tremendously during early recovery. You can find halfway houses all across the country, but in Delray Beach, FL, they’re a dime a dozen. So, how can you tell the good ones from the bad ones?
How Can Halfway Houses Help?
Halfway houses offer a level of structure and accountability that addicts in early recovery often lack. They offer a safe environment and promote healthy behavior, including:
– Helping to find and maintain employment
– Helping with financial issues (think applying for food stamps, etc.)
– Giving a certain amount of responsibilities (think chores, etc.)
– Providing random drug tests
– Holding regular house meetings (this helps with issues within the house, as well as with personal sobriety)
– Requiring regular meeting attendance (think ninety meetings in ninety days)
– Ensure that you have a sponsor and working the twelve-steps
What Makes a Good Halfway House?
The biggest indicator of a quality halfway house is that it be gender specific. Women with women and men with men! However, there are some larger halfway houses that do offer male and female housing, though they’re usually separated.
A good halfway house has a zero tolerance drug use policy. This means that if a resident relapses, they’re asked to leave, or escorted, off the property immediately.
Structure and consequences also play a key role. To help maintain structure, consequences should be set to reflect it. Consequences are administered on a case-by-case basis, depending on the severity of the situation.
Quality halfway houses have daily curfews. These curfews differ for residents and depend on factors like how long they’ve lived there, and whether it’s a weeknight or the weekend.
The house should be for clients only. This means that while family, sponsors, and sober supports can visit, they need authorization to do so. This maintains privacy, personal safety, and personal valuable safety.
How Much Does a Good Halfway House Cost?
Halfway houses collect rent on a weekly basis. This is beneficial for multiple reasons. First, it helps keep the cost manageable for residents. Second, if a resident relapses and leaves, they won’t lose a ton of money. Rent is generally between $75 and $200 per week.
There’s typically an entrance fee to be admitted to a halfway house, though this isn’t always the case. Entrance fees include first and last week’s rent and a security deposit.
Many, if not all, halfway houses are happy to meet residents at their unique finical level. This may include payment plans, discounts, or even scholarship programs.
by Sally Rosa | Dec 9, 2013 | Addiction Articles, Recovery
Well, Does It?
I often wonder if there’s quality, effective, and impactful substance abuse and mental health treatment. What I’m asking is – do clinical philosophy and client-centered treatment count more than money?
People are dying left and right from overdoses, driving while intoxicated, and a whole host of other drug-related causes. People are being thrown into jail everyday for minor drug crimes! Addicts, and their families, scramble through a seemingly indecipherable web of personal recommendations and sleazy marketing techniques, desperate for someone, ANYONE!, to help.
To put it another way, our country’s in dire need of quality addiction treatment. How can we tell if a facility is worth sending our loved one to? How do we know if a treatment center has a client’s best interest at heart? How do we know if someplace is capable of providing quality and comprehensive addiction treatment? These are tough questions for any family to answer! Let’s see if we can’t figure them out!
What Does Quality Addiction Treatment Look Like?
People need to learn what factors make a good addiction treatment center. At Sobriety For Women, we want to start that conversation! We hope that this article prompts a discussion on what makes a facility the right fit for addicts and their families.
So, what makes a good treatment center? Well, first and foremost, the focus should be on clients and their families. The bottom line should be secondary. You want someplace that’ll treat you, or a loved one, with respect and dignity, not like a breathing dollar sign.
What else? Any treatment center worth their salt will have a quality, experienced clinical team. If you talk to them and the focus isn’t on programs they offer, you should probably stay away. Treatment centers should offer more than one main focus. While the twelve-step model of addiction treatment is great, scientific and medical resources need to be taken into consideration. While scientific and medical resources are key, a twelve-step approach should be taken to sustain long-term recovery.
Recently, I had the pleasure of touring a drug and alcohol treatment center that meets the above criteria. I feel confident about recommending their services.
Lakeview Health
Lakeview Health, located in Jacksonville, FL, is an addiction treatment facility that specializes in treating individuals with dual-diagnosis disorders. This means they suffer from addiction and mental health issues.
I met with their impressive clinical staff, including: case managers, the clinical director, primary therapists, and behavioral/mental health technicians. I was also able to meet some of Lakeview’s executive staff, including: the VP of Marketing, the VP of Client Services, and the CEO/President, Roy Serpa. Both the clinical and executive staff had no problem taking time from their busy schedules and explaining the various aspects of their programs. They expressed an overwhelming desire to put clients’ needs first. The energy every staff member gave off was contagious and I soon found myself smiling and nodding.
Lakeview Health put their clients’ first. They offer personalized treatment, which encourages clients to focus on an individual recovery program. In turn, this strengthens their chance of long-term success. Lakeview provides a variety of treatment paths, which allow any client to find their place in recovery. Strong clinical care, twelve-step practices, LGBT tracks, Christian programs, and an in-depth family program are offered to all that attend their facility. Simply put, Lakeview has it all!
With a range of care from detox, to residential treatment, to intensive outpatient programs, Lakeview Health easily passes the test of having quality clinical care. They also boast a supportive and innovative team and beautiful location. Lakeview’s campus sits next to the water in sunny Jacksonville, Florida. They provide everything a client could want during their stay,
Lakeview offers numerous addiction support services, including: a 24/7 nurse staff, multiple doctors, primary and secondary therapists, and recreational activities (group and individual exercise classes, music therapy, yoga, and much more).
The staff is always available (with a smile!) to answer any question or concern you have. If you want more information about Lakeview Health, please contact their admission department or visit their website.
by Fiona Stockard | Sep 17, 2013 | Recovery
Together, We Create Harmony and Move As One
by Fiona Stockard | Aug 19, 2013 | Recovery
False Evidence Appearing Real (FEAR)
Having grown up in functional alcoholism and then married into it, I spent forty-two years frightened and embarrassed. I spent forty-two years! Think about how long that is!
Al-Anon helped me recognize FEAR kept showing up because I’d become comfortable with it. FEAR was my constant companion, it was familiar territory. FEAR seemed better than venturing, all alone, into the unknown.
Lessons from Al-Anon
More than anything else, Al-Anon has taught me I’m NOT alone. I never was. Lily Tomlin once said, “we’re all in this alone,” and that was true, until I connected with my Higher Power. Guess what? My Higher Power had been there all along! It led me into the rooms of recovery. Now, I have many recovering friends and a long list of supports.
Recently, I’ve been learning something most children know by kindergarden. When life’s easy, it’s easy. When life’s hard, it’s hard. My catastrophic thinking and what-if projections find me quickly when the s**t hits the fan. If I’m listening though, my Higher Power says, “come to me, child” and I do! I run, hide, and get real quiet. I focus on entrusting the whole problem (whatever it may be) to my Higher Power’s care. It never fails to work. Time and time again, God’s proven to me that he is Truly the One in Charge!
My Higher Power tells me not to be scared, that FEAR’s just an old habit. FEAR’s just a liar who tries to whisper in my ear. I need to recognize and capture FEAR. I need to put it in one of those old Mason jars, with the clamp lid. I need to bring the jar to my Higher Power, who gladly adds it to a collection.
I’ve learned to dance the Twelve-Step waltz (one, two, three, one, two, three, one, two, three) everyday since 1989. Since then, I’ve captured innumerable moments of FEAR and thrown them in the Mason jar. This has been challenging the lately. My family’s been dealing with a serious medical issues. Along with talking to doctors, I’ve been talking to God! I continually write gratitude lists. Of course, as soon as I reach out to my Higher Power, things start to get better. My trust begins increasing. I can stand upright, joyous for another day in this broken world.
Evidence of my Higher Power’s love, guidance, and support is real and indisputable. Therefore, God’s Grace never fails! It actually causes me to LAUGH in the face of FEAR. When life gets tough, I remember my God sightings. I re-read my gratitude list. I crawl back under the umbrella of Step-Eleven. It seems almost too easy! Real evidence is true, and true evidence conquers false evidence, handily.
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