Submitted by Anonymous

I am a 57-year-old that actually worried I wouldn’t see 40 or wouldn’t be here to see my daughters grow up. I actually thought if I can just survive until Cass is 18 that will be ok, she can then look after Lucy who is 4 years younger.

I grew up in a pub, my Mother was a big drinker, Father not so much as you would notice and my teens years just hold memories of my Mother being drunk, only now and again…but enough for me to live in dread.

I always drank, from being a teenager I was the one who drank as much as the boys. I could always hold my drink but still carried on steadily drinking once I was married and then when I became a Mother. I didn’t drink during pregnancy because Mother Nature kicked in and took over there, making me ill.

A Visible Progression

My drinking gradually went to about 2 bottles of wine a night so still manageable. My Husband had an accident in 2000 and it changed a lot between us (he was in recovery) we stayed together but I met another man at work and boy, did he like a drink !!We got on famously and cutting a long story short we got married in 2010 and spent all out time drinking…. not sure how we held our jobs down. I previously had never drank during the day but by now, it was normal.

My two daughters were pretty horrified by our behavior and they managed to carry on with their own live because by now they were living with Sober Dad.
I had liver tests and was told by numerous Doctors to stop drinking, I lasted a month, sometimes 2 but any excuse started me back on the wine…oh, were going on holiday, oh my Dad has died.

Withering Away

Cutting to the end of this then, I had full blown ascites (swollen, fluid filled abdomen) and was almost skeletal as I just didn’t eat. We went on holiday with my Husband and his Sister/Brother in law and I had two drinks in the pub at lunchtime, then we went back to the cottage and I started vomiting blood profusely. This went on for hours as I wouldn’t let them call an ambulance and they were too far gone to be over worried. Finally, an ambulance took me to hospital at 2 in the morning and I was eventually taken into surgery to have all my bleeding veins tied up. By this time, I was bleeding from every orifice, ears, nose, eyes, back passage and was in total agony. The specialist came and told me that there was nothing more they could do and I would probably not survive another few hours. My entire family were summoned and my two daughters sat weeping at my bedside as I apologized to them for my drinking and sobbed as I knew I would never see them get married or have children of their own.

I was still here the following day and every day I had blood transfusions and more drips and fluids than you could imagine. I had 30 liters of fluid drained from my abdomen and continued to pass blood for weeks.

A Medical Medical

That was 4 years ago and I am now fit as a fiddle (nearly) weight about 3 stone more and have obviously never had a drink since nor a cigarette. I am on lifelong medication and the Doctors say they cannot believe that I lived
.
My Daughters are extremely proud of me now and I can only say that even though I knew my drinking was bad and not like other normal peoples, I never, ever thought that anything like that would happen to me. I have never really spoken in any detail about it much and people in my current job don’t even know that I don’t drink…. still too afraid of the stigma.

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