Science proved that our menstrual cycle plays a role in the success of drug addiction treatment.
– From your friendly neighborhood OBGYN

As I watched my boyfriend eat cheese-its and burp during Monday night football I realized, a woman’s body is 10 times more complicated than a man’s. All men have to do is have sex. It’s really the only job the male body has to accomplish. The female body, now that’s the Einstein of nature. We give birth, we breast feed, we have periods, we go through menopause, we do it all and it’s all interconnected. I just celebrated 5 years of sobriety when I thought, I wonder if my period has anything to do with my drug addiction treatment? It turns out…

It does!

Yup, my period can even screw up drug addiction treatment.

Help with heroin addiction works best 2 weeks before your period.
-Your Friend Science

So get this, a study conducted at the University of Pennsylvania discovered a link between the ability for women to quit addictive substances and the stage of their period. My jaw hit the floor when I found out. Drug addiction treatment is actually influenced by what time my body orders the Code Red! First it ruined prom, now this! The jerk providing this news is Dr. Teresa Franklin. She says that, the best time to quit chemicals and seek drug addiction treatment is two weeks before the red dot special.

Women make impulsive decisions, like shooting heroin when they have their period.
– Dr. Bad News

OK here is the science mumbo jumbo:

“The women in the study were separated into two groups — those in their follicular phase and those in their luteal phase. Results revealed that during the follicular phase, there was reduced functional connectivity between brain regions that helps make good decisions (cortical control regions) and the brain regions that contain the reward center”

You can ready the full report here but what is says in short is that, 2 weeks before your period you are still able to make decisions that are good for you, like checking yourself into a drug addiction treatment center. If you want to get drug addiction treatment you’ll be likely to make that decision at this time. If you wait ‘til Aunt Flow drops off the jelly donuts to decided to get help with heroin addiction, you are more likely to shoot heroin or borrow a bums crack pipe, because you are no longer connected to the part of your brain that makes good choices!

It’s hard to JUST SAY NO when you have your period.
-Nancy Regan

“We believe that the hormonal influence over the cognitive control of the reward system would apply to decision-making in general.”

More bad news from Dr. Franklin, I might add her as a friend on Facebook just to block her. I’m just so mad. So many women need help with heroin addiction right now and so many would seriously be helped from attending a good drug addiction treatment center. Who is to blame yet again for getting in the way of a woman’s right to make good choices? The bloody buddy, the scarlet visitor, the crimson tide, your mother f-in period. I bet eve got her period right before she ate that apple.