by Fiona Stockard | Sep 12, 2014 | 12 Steps
Written By: Fiona Stockard
The Basic Text Broken Down – Part Four
Narcotics Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who help each other recover from drug and alcohol addiction. It was founded in July of 1953, just celebrated its sixty-first anniversary, and boasts over 60,000 meetings worldwide.
NA’s central literature is the Basic Text. With a sponsor, the Basic Text, and a workbook, NA members work the twelve steps. Through working these steps, NA members learn that “Just for today, you never have to use again!” (xxiii)
Today, we’re going to examine part of Chapter Four of the Basic Text, “How It Works.” This chapter breaks down the twelve-steps of NA.
How It Works
This chapter is the meat and potatoes of NA’s Basic Text. It’s divided into an explanation of each of the twelve-steps NA members use to overcome addiction. I’ll be going step by step through “How It Works.” Today, let’s look at the intro and Step One.
The intro of “How It Works” ushers in a famous phrase, “…one is too many and a thousand never enough” (18). My experience getting high confirms this! If you’re reading this, chances are your experience was the same! People like me simply CAN’T use drugs successfully. If I have one pill, one line, one blunt, one anything, I set off the physical allergy (explained in detail later) and can’t stop. Simple as that.
Also in the intro to “How It Works,” a very important point is made – alcohol is a drug! NA states, “Before we came to NA many of us viewed alcohol separately, but we cannot afford to be confused about this. Alcohol is a drug. We are people with the disease of addition who must abstain from all drugs in order to recover” (18).
I needed to hear that! I was guilty of thinking I could quit drugs, but still drink. After all, I got sober at nineteen. I hadn’t even had a legal drink! Turns out, nope, alcohol is a drug. I can’t drink. Not even a little!
Next, we’re introduced to the idea that the twelve-steps are our solution to addiction and life. NA says, “We learn to work the steps in the order that they are written and to use them on a daily basis. The steps are our solution. They are our survival kit” (19).
Okay, sounds fair to me. I mean, I couldn’t control my addiction. I couldn’t control my emotions. I couldn’t control my relationships. I couldn’t control anything! So, finding out there’s a solution to my many problems was relieving. It gave me a sense of hope, a desire to recover.
“How It Works” then goes into Step One. It says, “We admitted that we were powerless over our addiction, that our lives had become unmanageable” (19). Simple enough, right? A quick look back at my track record made it clear I was powerless.
Maybe it isn’t so easy for others to admit powerlessness. Well, NA has that covered, too. They say, “When some of us have doubts, we ask ourselves this question: ‘Can I control my use of any form of mind or mood-altering chemicals?'” (20).
Ask yourself that question and answer honestly. That’s what I thought, you’re in the right place! Moving on, “How It Works” breaks down the three part disease of addiction.
“The physical aspect of our disease is the compulsive use of drugs: the inability to stop using once we have started. The mental aspect of our disease is the obsession, or overpowering desire to use, even when we are destroying our lives. The spiritual part of our disease is our total self-centeredness” (20).
Okay, when I use, I’m compelled to keep using. That’s the physical allergy. Once I take a drug, my body processes it differently and demands more.
When I start thinking about drugs, I can’t get the thought out of my head. That’s the mental obsession. Once the idea of using enters my mind, I can’t shake it…until I use.
Oh, and I’m self-centered in the extreme! That’s the spiritual malady. That’s why I gravitated to drugs and booze in the first place.
That’s my disease. It’s three parts and it’s deadly. So, how do I begin to recover from addiction? How do I begin to change from this deadly disease? I admit defeat.
The chapter reads, “The foundation of our program is the admission that we, of ourselves, do not have power over addiction” (21). That’s how I begin the first step. That’s how I begin to change. That’s how I begin to heal.
There’s more though! I need to accept and understand that my life is unmanageable. How can I do this? Once again, the answer is as simple as looking at my past. NA says, “Unemployability, dereliction and destruction are easily seen as characteristics of an unmanageable life. Our families generally are disappointed, baffled and confused by our actions and often desert or disown us” (21-22).
That described my life to a T. It was unmanageable and I was powerless! Remember though, there’s hope. NA’s description of the first step ends with this uplifting message. “When we admit our powerlessness and inability to manage our own lives, we open the door for a Power greater than ourselves to help us. It is not where we were that counts, but where we are going” (23).
There’s hope and lots of it! Find out how a Higher Power offers a new life in the next installment of Faith Facts Friday with Fiona – NA Edition!
by Fiona Stockard | Aug 29, 2014 | 12 Steps, Addiction Articles
Written By: Fiona Stockard
The Basic Text Broken Down – Part Three
Narcotics Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who help each other recover from drug and alcohol addiction. It was founded in July of 1953, just celebrated its sixty-first anniversary, and boasts over 60,000 meetings worldwide.
NA’s central literature is the Basic Text. With a sponsor, the Basic Text, and a workbook, NA members work the twelve steps. Through working these steps, NA members learn that “Just for today, you never have to use again!” (xxiii)
Today, we’re going to examine Chapter Three of the Basic Text, “Why Are We Here?” This chapter explains why we need Narcotics Anonymous!
Why Are We Here?
This chapter opens with italicized text. Like in the previous chapter, What Is The Narcotics Anonymous Program?, this text is read at the start of most NA meetings. This italicized text reads, “We seemed incapable of facing life on its own terms” (13).
That’s an important point! I don’t just suffer from addiction. I suffer from escapism, which often wears the mask of addiction. Before drugs and booze though? I’d read, or play games, or do anything else to avoid facing real life. By that logic, a solution to my addiction must address more than drugs. The solution that’ll work for me needs to address life itself!
The chapter goes on to list some ways addicts try to manage their use. We tried things like “…substituting one drug for another…limiting our usage to social amounts…” (14).
There are about ten million other examples, but let’s focus on these two. They’re the ways I have the most experience with! I can’t count how many times I swapped drugs. I was convinced I could smoke crack like a lady! I mean, I only really had a problem with opiates, right? I’d drink all night because, hey, at least I’m not doing drugs, right?
On the flip side, I’d only do as much coke as my friends were doing. We weren’t cokeheads, just girls having a good time! I’d smoke a blunt because everyone else was smoking. I tried, desperately, to make my addiction into something social. Do I even need to tell you this didn’t work? Well, guess what? It didn’t work!
The chapter soon echoes this idea. “Regardless of what we tried, we could not escape from out disease” (14). Ain’t that the truth! I couldn’t outrun myself, or my addiction. No matter how high I got, I ALWAYS had to face myself afterwards. No matter how long I refused to look in the mirror, I’d ALWAYS catch myself looking from the corner of my eye.
“Failure had become our way of life and self-esteem was non-existent” (15). That was the result of my addiction. I destroyed myself. I hated myself. I couldn’t do anything positive. The few desperate times I tried, I failed. This wasn’t on purpose (though I was an excellent self-sabotager), but because I was 100% selfish and self-centered.
The chapter goes on to make it clear that addiction is a disease, not a moral issue. “We find that we suffer from a disease, not a moral dilemma. We were critically ill, not hopelessly bad” (16). You mean, I’m a failure and have no self-esteem because I’m sick? I’m not a bad person? That realization was huge for me! After all, sickness can be cured. There’s medicine for it. I found my medicine lives in the rooms of Narcotics Anonymous!
Probably the most important part of Why Are We Here?, comes in the form of three realizations addicts often have:
“1. We are powerless over addiction and our lives are unmanageable;
2. Although we are not responsible for our disease, we are responsible for our recovery;
3. We can no longer blame people, places and things for our addiction. We must face our problems and our feelings” (15).
Coming to terms with the idea I’m powerless and my life is unmanageable was easy. I mean, one look at my track record proves that. I also knew I wasn’t responsible for my disease. In fact, after learning I had a disease I was super relieved! Taking responsibility for my recovery sounds hard though. I mean, who likes responsibility? For that matter, what addict likes anything even resembling responsibility?
The final idea, number three, scared the s**t out of me. It was the hardest to wrap my mind around, the hardest to accept. I had to stop blaming other people and other things? I had to face my problems? I had to face my feelings? I had to face life?
F**k! I started getting high in the first place to escape other people, problems, and feelings! I started getting high to escape life! Besides, how the hell do you deal with that stuff, anyway?
Find out in the next installment of Faith Facts Friday With Fiona – NA Edition!
by Fiona Stockard | May 29, 2014 | Addiction Articles, Sobriety For Women
As I sit here at my house watching Beyond Scared Straight, a few questions come to mind. I’m watching parents beg their kids to get their lives together. I’m watching parents plead for their children not to waste their lives committing crimes and doing drugs. I’m watching parents going on and on about their kids’ potential and how much they can get out of life, if they’d only change.
Were They Even Scared At All?
Original photo by Adam Jones, Ph.D.
Watching these emotional families visit their kids in jail, I see the pain in their eyes. I see these families hoping, with all their strength, that their loved one will be…scared straight.
At the end of the show, there’s an update on the kids. I eagerly wait for these updates to see the success stories. I sit there, puffing on my electronic cigarette, watching the screen intently. Guess what? These poor kids are still doing the same thing! They’re still making the same mistakes, hurting the same people, telling the same lies, and making the same empty promises. This is the definition of insanity! Since the show, some kids have gone to jail, some have died, some have gone missing. There are a few success stories, but these are few and far between.
Watch the story of a young women who’s turned her life around
My Personal Experience
As a recovered addict, I started thinking about these scare tactics. Do they work? Can we scare our kids, our family members, our coworkers, or our friends away from a life of drugs?
I remember being an adolescent and a participant in the D.A.R.E Program. D.A.R.E stands for Drug Abuse Resistance Education. It’s used to educate today’s youth about the danger of drugs and gang membership. At the time, I thought I’d never smoke pot, let alone become a daily user of opiates and crack! Some people in my class used the D.A.R.E program as a shopping guide for which drugs they should try out first. Some kids even thought the “dangers” didn’t sound much like dangers at all, in fact, they sounded like a good time. Even when armed with facts about the dangers of drug use, and the potential harsh consequences, I wasn’t detoured from using illicit substances.
Why is accountability so important in our lives?
Availability of the Product
In a time when there’s a heroin epidemic raging in the Northeast and legal drugs (kratom, bath-salts, etc.) being sold in convenience stores everywhere, it’s no wonder many young people are developing drug problems!
With delicious sounding alcoholic beverages like Smirnoff Mango, passion fruit shots, and whipped cream flavored vodka, how can we expect our kids to “just say no?” These drinks are basically advertised as candy. Not to mention, the half naked models enjoying and glorifying these poisons!
With more and more treatment centers all over the country, and more adolescent facilities than ever before, what’s the solution? How do we, as a society, combat the drug epidemic in this country? Do we continue to try to “scare our children straight,” or do we try to educate them?
Drugs Are Bad, We Know
Everyone and their mother knows that drugs are bad. We get it. Don’t do drugs. But what if I have a problem? How do I even know if I have a problem? What should parents do if their kids are using drugs? That’s the conversation we need to be having.
I’d have gotten help a lot sooner if I knew there was help available! If I’d known that twenty year olds can get sober, you bet you a*s that I’d have gotten sober! Now, after being sober several years, I know that anyone can get better. I walk into a young peoples’ twelve-step meeting and more than half the room has over a year of sobriety. Remember, that’s sobriety from ALL drugs and alcohol.
Why is Delray Beach Florida is a great place for young women to recover?
Finding Help Doesn’t Have To Be Scary
There are a ton of resources available for individuals suffering from addiction. There are women’s only treatment centers, male treatment centers, adolescent treatment centers, and a variety of other facilities available for anyone in need of help.
We need to spend more time educating parents and teens! We need to let them know that not only are drugs bad, but what resources are available if they do end up with an addiction. We need to explain there is a solution and how to find it!
by A Women in Sobriety | May 22, 2014 | Addiction Articles, Benefits of Sobriety
Blaming Others
Before getting help for my addiction, I spent years blaming others for everything. It was always someone else’s fault that I drank and used drugs the way I did. “If what happened to me had happened to you, you’d use drugs like I do,” was pretty much my go to response for everything.
I have heard this same phrase repeated by countless women in recovery. It seems to be a faulty slogan that many of us lived by. Of course, addiction is a disease and this wasn’t the only reason I drank and used drugs. It was a great way to justify my actions and shift the blame on others. This cycle of shifting blame allowed my disease to stay strong for years.
Looking for a women’s treatment center for drugs and alcohol?
The Progression of My Disease
During my years getting high, and before I ever picked up a drug or drink, my disease was progressing. I stopped speaking to “normal” people and my life became hanging out with my drug dealer. As I became less and less accountable to regular people, I also lost any notion of self-accountability. See, addiction is a selfish disease. The only thing I cared about was how and when I’d get drugs.
Want to know more about substance abuse?
Misguided Truth
Finally, I had this misguided belief that there were no consequences to ANY of my actions. Whether it was stealing something or hurting a loved one, the obsession to drink and drug trumped any potential consequences. Mostly, I barely gave consequences a passing thought. I just didn’t care.
Moving Towards Recovery
As a woman takes her first step into recovery, it’s extremely importance that she begin to understand what it actually means to be sober and accountable.
Accountability, sobriety, and honesty are all linked. Really, you can’t have one without the others. While in treatment, you learn to be accountable to your peers and therapists. You can get “honest” with your group about your feelings or a potential mistake. Practicing this kind of honesty is integral to staying sober, because, first and foremost, you must be honest with yourself about being an addict.
Looking to get involved with other women in sobriety?
Continued Accountability
If you decide to work a twelve-step program after drug treatment, you’ll learn to be accountable to your sponsor. Practicing this kind of accountability with your home group and sponsor helps in the long run. Staying sober is about being accountable to yourself and to God as you understand God. You’re making a commitment to yourself to stay sober for the rest of your life, one day at a time. With a sponsor, you’ll learn to set goals and stick to those goals.
Look, as addicts we’re used to running from responsibility. It was avoided at all costs. “I’ll pay that bill tomorrow,” “tomorrow I’ll stop drinking,” “I’ll apologize to my loved ones tomorrow.” Those are just a few examples. It’s important to remember that we can’t get sober alone. With the help of support groups, therapy, and a sponsor we can learn to treat this disease. We can learn to be accountable and productive members of society!
