by Fiona Stockard | Sep 29, 2014 | Drug Addiction
Written By: Fiona Stockard
Firsthand Addiction: What’s Jail Really Like?
Jail sucks. Everyone knows that. I mean, if I asked a roomful of people if they wanted to go to jail, would anyone raise their hand? Hell no!
Unfortunately, jail’s a part of life for addicts. If I wasn’t doing illegal stuff, I wouldn’t have been able to support my expensive as f**k drug habit. Now, I don’t want to put words in anyone’s mouth, but the same can be said for most addicts. Plus, we’re usually good at plotting and scheming.
What’s jail really like though? Is it as bad as TV shows make it out to be? Are people getting shanked left and right? Let’s find out!
My Experiences With Jail
I’ve been to jail three times and (surprise) none were fun. They didn’t completely suck either though.
I was arrested when I was fifteen for shoplifting. I don’t know why the cop didn’t let me go with a warning. I mean, come on, I was fifteen! Oh wait, probably ‘cause he found the drugs in my pocket. It was just weed though! Whatever, the point is I was shipped to a juvenile detention facility until I could go to court.
I was there for one day and one night. I didn’t get shanked. I didn’t get beaten up. I didn’t get made some woman’s b***h. It wasn’t that bad, actually. There were some thug-life girls who kept eyeballing me, but I just ignored them.
There were also a few really nice older girls. They’d been in juvie before and knew the deal. They told me what to expect in court – how I should throw myself on the judge’s mercy and say I’d never get high or steal again. Guess what? I did just that and it worked! I was released with no juvenile probation, only fines.
I wasn’t as lucky the next two times I was arrested. Both times were for possession of heroin and I was pretty dope sick in jail. I was locked up for a few days the second time and a little over two months the third time. I was over eighteen too, so I got thrown in big-girl jail. No more easy juvie for me. Dammit!
Still, I didn’t get beat up, or shanked, or made anyone’s b***h. The worst parts were being dope sick, not being able to smoke, and the crappy food. It’s not like I had an appetite anyway though!
Once again, an older woman came to my rescue. She was a longtime junkie and knew what I was going through. She gave me some of her meds (non-narcotic, of course). They helped a little bit.
The second time I was arrested, I was released with probation. The third time I wasn’t as lucky. I spent two months in jail, was mandated to drug court, and had my probation extended. You’d think that would get me sober, right? Nope. It just made me pretty good at hiding my drug use.
So, maybe getting shanked and all that bad stuff only happens in prison. Luckily, I wasn’t sent there, so I don’t know. Maybe it’s all made up to sell TV shows and movies. Again, I don’t know. I do know that I haven’t been back to jail in over six years. Normal people might think that’s, well, normal. Me though? I’m pretty f**king proud of myself!
by A Women in Sobriety | Aug 20, 2014 | Addiction Articles, Drug Addiction
Written By: Fiona Stockard
Firsthand Addiction: What Withdrawal is Really Like
Today, we’re going to explore what withdrawal is really like. You won’t find any catchy medical lingo or D.A.R.E. warnings here. This is one addict sharing her experience, strength, and hope!
My (Many) Withdrawals
It’s no secret I’m a junkie. I don’t hide that part of my life at all. In fact, I wear it as a badge of honor. I survived my addiction and you can survive yours!
Today, I’m a sober junkie, an addict helped by good people, and the grace of God. That wasn’t always the case. For quite a few years, I was the most un-sober junkie around! During this period (I like to call it my blue period, after that J.D. Salinger story), I detoxed more times than I can count.
I went through hell each and every time I was dope sick. Ever detoxed? Well, let me tell you, it sucks! Ever wondered why junkies get crazy when they can’t get high? It isn’t just ‘cause we love drugs (though we certainly do). Junkies get crazy ‘cause they know how hellish withdrawal is.
Now, I’ve heard kicking benzo’s and alcohol are worse, but I don’t have personal experience with those. Yeah, I took a ton of benzo’s, but I was never physically dependent. I drank like a fish, but I never got the shakes if I stopped. If I didn’t do heroin for a few hours though, all bets were off. I was a mess, in literally every sense of the word.
The first symptom to hit me during detox was a runny nose. Pretty innocent, right? Not when you’re leaking buckets of snot and sneezing every ten seconds. Once that started, I knew the reallybad stuff wasn’t far off.
I’d start getting cramps all over my body. My legs, arms, stomach, neck, hands, feet…you name it. My muscles tightened and wouldn’t unclench. Think the worst Charlie-horse imaginable. No amount of hot water or massaging helped.
Then, I’d start vomiting. Like projectile vomiting. Everywhere. It wasn’t a pretty sight. Along with this uncontrollable vomiting, I’d get uncontrollable diarrhea. Look, I know, no one wants to talk diarrhea. It’s a very real part of being dope sick though.
Finally, I’d be weak and shaky all over. You know when you haven’t eaten for like ten hours and your body feels like it’s going to collapse? Yeah, I’d feel like that nonstop.
Signs and Symptoms of Withdrawal
In addition to my very scientific description, find some signs and symptoms of opiate withdrawal below.
• Extreme Anxiety
• Nausea & Vomiting
• Hot and Cold Sweats
• Shaking All Over
• Feeling Weak All Over
• Muscle Aching & Cramping
• Running Nose & Uncontrollable Sneezing
• Diarrhea
• Restless Leg Syndrome (oh boy does this suck!)
• Extreme Irritability
Everyone’s body is different. So, some people may experience different withdrawal effects. This one girl I got high with, when she started to kick opiates, she just spelt for days. In hindsight, I wouldn’t have minded being her!
I’m Going Through Withdrawal and It Sucks: Tips and Tricks For an Easier Withdrawal
This is the part everyone wants to know. How can I make my withdrawal easier? Well, the simple answer is that detoxing from anything sucks. There are some junkie life hacks that help though!
Go to Detox
There are tons of drug and alcohol detoxes out there. Most will taper you off with (relatively) safe medicine. The downside of going to detox is the cost. They’re expensive, with some charging upwards of $2000 a day!
Don’t Use Prescription Drugs
Many prescription drugs help with withdrawal, but don’t use them! Not only are you substituting one addiction for another, but I know I got my prescriptions from street pharmacists. The point of detoxing is to try and change your life. My life didn’t begin to change until I stopped buying pills from sketchy f**kers!
Use OTC Medicines
There are a ton of OTC medicines that help with being dope sick. These include: acetaminophen, ibuprofen, and naproxen (for the aches and pains), Benadryl (for the runny nose and to maybe get some sleep), and Immodium AD (for the diarrhea).
Vitamins are Your Friends
Most vitamins help reduce the symptoms of withdrawal. Think about it like this – the more good stuff you put into your body, the better you’ll feel. Particularly useful during withdrawal are: B-complex vitamins, mega-doses of vitamins C and D, and fish oil capsules. None of these are magic bullets, but they’ll help.
Eat Bananas
Restless Leg Syndrome is caused by a deficiency of potassium. While you could simply take potassium vitamins, eating food also helps ease withdrawal symptoms. So, combine eating food with taking potassium, and you get eating bananas! They’ll make you feel better, trust me.
Force Yourself to Eat
Like I said above, eating helps. Withdrawal takes a lot out of your body. If you’re not putting anything back in it, you’re going to feel even worse! Eating while detoxing sucks and yeah, you’re going to puke most of it up. Whatever you keep down though helps a lot though.
Reach Out
No one wants to be around people when they’re detoxing. Hell, it’s hard enough to make it to the couch! Have supports in place though. Sometimes just talking helps. If you want to reach out to us – shoot an email to info@sobrietyforwomen.com or talk to us on Facebook.
by A Women in Sobriety | Aug 18, 2014 | Addiction Articles, Sobriety For Women
Written By: Fiona Stockard
Firsthand Addiction: What ODing is Really Like
Welcome to Sobriety For Women’s newest column, Firsthand Addiction!
In our first article, we explore what overdosing is really like. None of that after-school special s**t, just one addict’s experience. Enjoy!
My Overdose
The year was 2006 and I was in BAD shape. I was strung out on opiates, heroin mainly, and taking handfuls of Xanax for breakfast. Of course, like most addicts, I was sure this was just a phase and eventually I’d be fine. Then I ODed.
I remember taking about ten footballs (one milligram Xanax pills) and walking into a gas station. I remember seeing a cop. He probably should have scared me off, but I was pretty hardheaded. Plus, I was dope sick and we all know how that goes.
I bee-lined straight to the bathroom and cooked up some heroin. I remember throwing an extra bag in my cooker and thinking, “I’m going to get HIGH right now.”
The next thing I remember is waking up in a hospital. If you’ve never woken up with tubes down your nose and throat, let me tell you, it’s not fun. Apparently, I had ODed.
According to the police report, I stumbled out of the bathroom and right into that cop. He searched me and found heroin and Xanax. As he was cuffing me, I passed out and couldn’t be woken up. He decided a hospital was better than jail. Thanks Mr. Policeman, you saved my life.
The scary part of this whole experience was that I don’t remember ODing. I remember cooking the dope and that’s it. If I were alone, I probably wouldn’t be here today.
Like any addict worth her salt, ODing wasn’t enough to make me stop. It did, however, wake me up to just how bad my addiction was. Not long after, I went to treatment for the first time.
Signs and Symptoms of Overdose
General signs and symptoms of a heroin overdose include:
• Having a hard time breathing
• Having a weak heartbeat
• Tightness in muscles
• Twitching of muscles
• Face, mouth, and fingernails turning blue
• Extreme nodding off (falling asleep for short periods of time)
How to Avoid ODing
It’s a bit harder to talk about how to avoid ODing than it is to list signs and symptoms of an overdose. However, here are some common sense tips to help avoid an overdose.
Don’t Use Heroin
Duh! If you don’t use heroin, you’re not going to overdose! For many addicts though, this advice is pretty impractical.
Use With Other People
If it hadn’t been for that cop, I probably would have died. Make sure to use with other people.
I know, I know, this sucks. You have to share drugs and other people are annoying. Still, it beats dying.
Don’t Use Too Much
Again, this is kind of an obvious tip. If you don’t use too much heroin, you won’t OD, simple as that.
What I mean is – don’t use too much of a new batch. If you just got a new stamp (heroin package) and don’t know its strength, do half as much as you normally would.
Don’t Inject
It’s harder to OD if you’re not injecting. Yes, it’s still possible to overdose by sniffing or smoking heroin, but it’s MUCH more rare.
Don’t Mix Heroin and Other Drugs
If I hadn’t mixed heroin and Xanax, I probably wouldn’t have ODed.
I know mixing opiates and benzo’s feels good. I know mixing opiates and coke feels good. I know mixing opiates and anything feels good, but trust me, just say no!
I ODed, What Now?
There are a lot of myths about what to do when someone OD’s. Most of these are just myths though!
Don’t put the ODing person in the shower, don’t inject them with anything, don’t make them puke, don’t make them eat or drink, and definitely don’t let them sleep it off.
If someone around you is ODing, you do two things. First, and most importantly, call 911.
I don’t care if you still have drugs, or if you don’t like cops. Save someone’s life. Don’t be an assh**e.
Second, slap them in the face. This is more for fun than anything else, but hey, it just might help.
