by Sally Rosa | May 26, 2014 | Addiction Articles, Benefits of Sobriety
Written By: Katie Schipper
Learning how to be grateful is a spiritual practice. It’s not something that can be forced, it comes naturally when we make a commitment and start practicing it. Gratitude isn’t something readily accessible to a addict or an alcoholic active in her addiction. There’s far too much chaos, denial, self-victimization, pity, and selfishness to leave any room for gratitude. Choosing to be grateful, to practice gratitude in spite of changing moods and circumstances, is a cornerstone of recovery.
Watch a young women emerging from addiction with gratitude
The Gratitude List
A very simple, very straightforward way to begin practicing gratitude is to make a list. Ideally, this is done daily, but it shouldn’t be avoided simply because it can’t be done everyday. The list can be long or short, but should most definitely be handwritten. Taking the time to write everything out helps get it embedded in our hearts.
A gratitude list can be as simple as coming up with five things you’re grateful for. Even if you can’t find a job, even if you just got dumped, even if you’re in a very dark place and feel alone, there’s always, ALWAYS, something to be grateful for.
Sometimes, it helps to start simple, particularly if you tend to be pessimistic. Start by being grateful for the air you breathe. Be grateful that you’re alive. Be grateful for things you might not be grateful for! Things like rehab, IOP therapy, and recovery.
The beautiful thing about gratitude lists is that once you start, you seem to magically think of even more to be grateful for! The lists can be endless. The first step, as always, is simply to begin, even if you don’t want to.
And you might not want to. Complaining is easy. It gives a short-lived buzz and all that dumping of negative energy feels “good.” What it’s really doing is perpetuating the bad. Our thoughts become our reality. For addicts and alcoholics, it’s easy to become enslaved by the mind’s power. Putting a pen to paper, despite negativity, has an immediate impact.
Gratitude as an Action Word
Writing a gratitude list is a beautiful thing and a great start to expanding your spirituality. Continue to write until you feel the results. Share your lists. Add to them. Set aside specific times to write gratitude lists. Watch as your attitude changes and as some of your negative thought patterns begin to crumble.
Once this happens, practice gratitude in your daily life. Be polite to the person who’s rude to you. Hold the door open for someone. Buy someone’s coffee. Do service. Volunteer. Like any spiritual practice, gratitude is a discipline that gives back tenfold what you put into it. The freedom of knowing what you have, of cherishing where you are, are gifts beyond measure.
Learn seven things about recovery you might not know
by Fiona Stockard | Aug 19, 2013 | Recovery
False Evidence Appearing Real (FEAR)
Having grown up in functional alcoholism and then married into it, I spent forty-two years frightened and embarrassed. I spent forty-two years! Think about how long that is!
Al-Anon helped me recognize FEAR kept showing up because I’d become comfortable with it. FEAR was my constant companion, it was familiar territory. FEAR seemed better than venturing, all alone, into the unknown.
Lessons from Al-Anon
More than anything else, Al-Anon has taught me I’m NOT alone. I never was. Lily Tomlin once said, “we’re all in this alone,” and that was true, until I connected with my Higher Power. Guess what? My Higher Power had been there all along! It led me into the rooms of recovery. Now, I have many recovering friends and a long list of supports.
Recently, I’ve been learning something most children know by kindergarden. When life’s easy, it’s easy. When life’s hard, it’s hard. My catastrophic thinking and what-if projections find me quickly when the s**t hits the fan. If I’m listening though, my Higher Power says, “come to me, child” and I do! I run, hide, and get real quiet. I focus on entrusting the whole problem (whatever it may be) to my Higher Power’s care. It never fails to work. Time and time again, God’s proven to me that he is Truly the One in Charge!
My Higher Power tells me not to be scared, that FEAR’s just an old habit. FEAR’s just a liar who tries to whisper in my ear. I need to recognize and capture FEAR. I need to put it in one of those old Mason jars, with the clamp lid. I need to bring the jar to my Higher Power, who gladly adds it to a collection.
I’ve learned to dance the Twelve-Step waltz (one, two, three, one, two, three, one, two, three) everyday since 1989. Since then, I’ve captured innumerable moments of FEAR and thrown them in the Mason jar. This has been challenging the lately. My family’s been dealing with a serious medical issues. Along with talking to doctors, I’ve been talking to God! I continually write gratitude lists. Of course, as soon as I reach out to my Higher Power, things start to get better. My trust begins increasing. I can stand upright, joyous for another day in this broken world.
Evidence of my Higher Power’s love, guidance, and support is real and indisputable. Therefore, God’s Grace never fails! It actually causes me to LAUGH in the face of FEAR. When life gets tough, I remember my God sightings. I re-read my gratitude list. I crawl back under the umbrella of Step-Eleven. It seems almost too easy! Real evidence is true, and true evidence conquers false evidence, handily.
For more stories like this one, LOOK INSIDE a book on Amazon called Whit’s End by clicking here!
by Fiona Stockard | Jun 1, 2013 | Addiction Treatment, Benefits of Sobriety
How to be Grateful in Recovery
“You know, when I blew out my birthday candles this year I didn’t wish for anything…I simply said Thank You.”
BAM. Gratitude at its finest. Who says that? Who says I’m happy enough that there’s nothing else I need to wish for, not even on my birthday wish. A free wish! Well, a grateful alcoholic said those words to me.
We’ve all heard the saying that you can’t be resentful and grateful at the same time. In moments of hardship, it’s best to remember what we’re grateful for.
A month ago, a woman sat in front of me, broken and confused. She had another relapse under her belt and one more reason why AA wasn’t the answer. She wasn’t sure if sobriety was the right choice, but decided to give it a shot anyway. Not the half-measure, one-foot-in attempt she’d done in the past. She decided to give a real, honest effort at sobriety. One prayer later, she’d been given a sign that launched her into action.
See, gratitude is an action word. I hear that all the time, but what does it mean? What does it mean to be grateful and sober? How does someone become a grateful alcoholic or addict? I asked myself that question a million times in early sobriety. I’d hear people with some time talk about how grateful they were. WHY?! Didn’t they see where we were? We were stuck in South Florida, in a stuffy, little room littered with slogans like “Easy Does It.” There were E-Cigs being smoked the entire time, too! How could they be grateful?
For months this question plagued me. I didn’t understand! To me, grateful and sober clashed more than wearing pink and green. After I started to do some work on myself, after I developed a relationship with God, after I developed a relationship with sober people, my feelings began to change. Things I’d been sure of my entire life began to change. My reaction to life began to change. I began to become happy.
Not too long afterwards, I finally understood what it meant to be grateful and sober. The sentence my friend said, about simply saying “thank you” on her first sober birthday, hit me like a truck. Not only because it was an original saying I’d never heard before, although I did think it was so adorable! It hit me hard because I need to remember gratitude. As a recovering alcoholic and addict, I need to be reminded to be grateful for how good my life is today.
After being sober a few years, life has shown up. The pressure of being responsible adult has been filling me with fear lately. So, what does God do to shut me up? He places a newcomer in my life to remind me how exciting sobriety is. He places a newcomer in my life to remind me how wonderful life is and how the little things can make the best day ever. It’s experiences like this that make my sobriety worth more than anything in the world. Today, I’m grateful to be sober.
