by Sally Rosa | May 12, 2015 | 12 Steps, Addiction Articles
A Breakdown of the Steps!
By: Tim Myers
Step One:
“We admitted we were powerless over alcohol — that our lives had become unmanageable.”
For Dummies:
I can’t stop drinking and it’s impossible for me to do anything without messing up. I try to stop but next thing I know…bang. I’m hammered, my family hates me, and all my bills are over due.
Step Two:
“Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.”
For Dummies:
I thought for a long time and now I’m at the point where I’m so crazy that only God himself can make me a sane person again. I mean, I’m really bonkers at this point. I need Jesus or Buddha or Something.
Step Three:
“Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.”
For Dummies:
Threw my hands in the air and decided okay, I’m done. God take this drunk and messy body do with it whatever the heck you want. I don’t care, just make all my decisions for me, okay?
Step Four:
“Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.”
For Dummies:
Sat down, grabbed a pen or pencil, and made a list of all the stupid stuff I did, all the mean stuff I said. Just basically took a good look at all the crap I’d done and laid it all out in front of me. I’m feeling pretty crappy right now.
Step Five:
“Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.”
For Dummies:
FREEEEEEDOOOOOOM! So get this, I told another person all the stuff I did and now I feel grrrrrreat! I mean, I’m still a huge jerk and all, but man does it feel good to get that all out in the open. Booya!
Step Six:
“Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.”
For Dummies:
I’m a thief, a liar, a cheater, a liar, overly dramatic, entitled, and about twenty other things. God, I’m ready for you to take them all. Oh, and you can keep ‘em btw.
Step Seven:
“Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.”
For Dummies:
Told everyone how I talked to God and he took my character defects! Just kidding. In a non-flashy and quiet sort of way I talked to God and asked him take those defects. Oh, and I told him I don’t want ‘em back.
Step Eight:
“Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.”
For Dummies:
Jotted down probably the longest list ever of all the people I did horrible stuff to. Yeah, I was a pretty awful person.
Step Nine:
“Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.”
For Dummies:
Sat down and looked each person who I was awful to in the eye and said, “Man, it was soooooo bad when I did that to you! Tell me what it is that I can do to make this whole thing okay.”
Step Ten:
“Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.”
For Dummies:
Just about everyday I sit down and write down all the ways I was a jerk. Then, I go and fix it…again!
Step Eleven:
“Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.”
For Dummies:
Dear God, oh God, My God, I pray to thee, show me how to help other people oh God. Or somethin’ like that (Tim McGraw what’s up!).
Step Twelve:
“Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.”
For Dummies:
Repeat steps one to eleven with another messed up person and pretend you know what you’re doing.
by Sally Rosa | May 5, 2015 | Addiction Articles, Recovery
By: Tim Myers
I Can’t Do What??
There are so many things in recovery that “they” say you should never ever do.
They say…
You shouldn’t be in a relationship until you have a year. You should never have Redbull. Never smoke or hang out at bars. You should never live by yourself or sleep around and never work too much or never work at all.
They say you should never take money from your parents. Never stay out too late. Never go to clubs or casinos or strips clubs. They say you should never be alone. Never be without a sponsor. Never miss a meeting. Never go to two meetings in a day. Never got to less than two meetings in a day. Never say recovered and never say recovering,
Never swear in a meeting. Never talk about AA at work and never talk about work at AA. Never say your last name. Never say anyone else’s last name. They tell us all the time that we should never put personalities before principals.
Never talk about a step unless we have worked it. They say to never leave the meeting until the Lord’s Prayer is over. Never text during the meeting. We should never be playing games during the meeting, whispering during the meeting, flirting during the meet, emailing during the meeting, Facebooking during the meeting, Instagraming, Googling, Yahooing, Pintersting, Youtubing, Myspacing, or Facetubing.
They say to never live far from your meetings. Never preach. Never quit. Never give up. Never stop sharing. Never stop sponsoring. Never judge. Never let yourself be judged. Never gossip. Never stray. Never walk out before the miracle happens.
Never promote. Never hit on a girl at a meeting. Never hit on a guy at a meeting. Never hit on a girl after a meeting. Never hit on a guy after a meeting.
Never bring in a dog. Never bring in a non-alcoholic to a closed meeting. Never bring in food or drink. Never put your feet on the chairs. Never leave the lights on. Never put nothing in the basket. Never sponsor ‘til you have one year. Never sponsor ‘til you have worked all twelve steps.
The say you should never take prescribed drugs. They say to never loan money. They say to never lie. Never cheat. They say to never steal. Never fight. Never hurt someone. Never post your recovery online. Never take a picture inside a meeting. Never force someone to a meeting. Never show up late. Never leave early.
They say never talk about coke in an AA meeting. They say never talk about heroin or needles in an AA meeting. They say never talk about pills in an AA meeting. They say never talk about acid or ‘shrooms in an AA meeting. They say never talk about weed or food in an AA meeting.
They say never have resentments. Never forget to call your sponsor. Never go to bed mad. Never forget to pray. They say never, never, never, never, never.
They say never drink.
That we all agree with.
That’s the one that matters most.
by Sally Rosa | Apr 9, 2015 | Addiction Articles, Benefits of Sobriety
The Roast of Justin Bieber
The roast of Justin Bieber. Ah, the roast of Justin Bieber. It was funny…but not very helpful. This guy, the Bieber, actually needs help. So, I decided I would roast him from the point of view of a sponsor…that he will one day need!
Listen Up, Justin
Thank you for having me here tonight, Justin. It’s really not an honor to be here because if you’d lived your life in a different way, no one would care enough to spend two-hours making fun of you.
You drive too fast, say stupid stuff, act like people you aren’t, and think that you’re God’s gift to twelve-year olds. You act the same way Michael Jackson did. He had a monkey. So did you. Michael Jackson is dead.
The point here, little buddy, is that if you don’t change your actions, thought, and behaviors, you’ll die too!
I know from the top of the mountain everything looks pretty great. Why stop now, right? Well, see you can shut down that part a few years early and start building credibility, respect, dignity, and a life of purpose. You can start being of service and making those around you and the world a better place.
I mean you could do all that and use your immense popularity to solve problems. But why do that? It’s much easier to run around looking like six-year old doing an impersonation of an adult, wearing adult close, and making ten times an adult’s salary.
Keep it up buddy! If you wear a cool looking hat, tomorrow millions of kids will be wearing that hat. That must make you feel good. You could wear a t-shirt with a logo of the American Cancer Society on it, tweet about donating money to fighting cancer, promise to match the donations of your followers, and actually bring some good to this world. That, though, probably wouldn’t make you feel as good as a fat wallet and huge ego.
We have two choices, Beebs. We can chose to take what God has given us and help other or we can take what God has given us and help ourselves.
You chose the “I’m going to be a tiny famous mess route.” That’s cool. A lot of people went that way too. I’m talking about Judas, A-Rod, and Hitler. I guess you feel it’s better to have it all for a couple of years than to have dignity and respect forever.
Again, it’s your choice Beebs. If you’d chosen to do the right thing, we wouldn’t be here tonight. If you’d chosen to do the right thing, you probably wouldn’t be rich. If you’d chosen to do the right thing, your mom wouldn’t have money. So, I can see why you chose selfishness.
If you did choose the right path, though, you’d probably have more money in the long run, more respect and dignity, and your mother would have money and a son that people respect.
Goodnight and God Bless!
