by Fiona Stockard | May 19, 2015 | Addiction Articles, Recovery
By: Tim Myers
Man’s Best Friend
My dog keeps me sober. Or I guess you could say he helps. He doesn’t go to meetings, doesn’t have a sponsor, and he has never worked a step. When he talks, I can’t understand a single thing he says. He’s very good at listening.
I can say things to him that I can’t say to another human being. When I’m done I feel so much better because at least I’m not holding on to them any more.
If I want to sleep in, well, I can’t because he needs to go out. If I want to skip work, you guessed it, I can’t because I need to make money to pay for the massive amount of dog food I have to buy. I feed him twice a day, walk him three times, and play with him as much as I can. He has a pretty tight schedule, so I do too.
He keeps on task, on time, and on point. He brings a rigidity and structure to my life that I have never had before. Want to stay out late? I can’t, he needs me. Want to blow out of town for Vegas? I can’t, he needs me. My dog, in a way, makes sure I’m everywhere I need to be, when I need to be there. You see…he needs me.
I need him too. When I’m sad, depressed, and worn out, he’s there. He thinks everything is cool and funny and he picks me up when I’m down. Want to meet women? Want to meet men? Want to meet friends? He’s great for that.
Feel like rushing into a relationship because you’re lonely? Don’t bother if you’ve got a dog like I’ve got mine. There’s always something to do with him and he always wants to do something. Boredom, isolation, and fear? Haven’t seen them since I got my dog.
I’ve been a part of his life since he was three months old. I’ve seen him grow, develop, change, fall, get back up, learn, smile, and poop. He’s seen me grow, develop, change, fall, get back up, learn, smile, and poop.
I’ve worried about him and he’s worried about me. I’ve taken care of him and he’s taken care of me. I give 100% for him expecting nothing in return. Well, I expect that he won’t bite me. He gives 100% to me expecting nothing in return. Well, he expects treats.
My dog has never been to a meeting and has no idea that I’m an alcoholic, yet he has helped me more than a lot of people in recovery. Many people in recovery have helped me get to where I am today, but many have hurt me as well and, yes, I have hurt people too. But my dog hasn’t.
He steers me toward the right direction every single day. He’s never faltered and he never will. He loves me for me and, through this relationship, I’ve learned to treat people better. I have learned the meaning of friendship.
My dog has never seen me drunk and as long as I have God, AA, and a dog…he never will.
by Fiona Stockard | Jun 16, 2014 | Addiction Articles, Sobriety For Women
Written By: Katie Schipper
Pets Are A Lot Of Work
Animals, yay! Pets are one of the greatest little joys in this life. They become part of your family and are absolutely worth every vet-bill, clean up, and minor annoyance. Pets are the best.
Pets are also a lot of work. They aren’t just little toys. No, they’re living creatures that require attention, care, and money. Wanting the joy and companionship of a pet is normal, but should you get one fresh out of a treatment center for women? Should you get one right out of your halfway house? What are some factors to consider before you do get a pet?
Waiting For The Right Time
There are a lot of common recovery suggestions that don’t actually come from twelve-step literature. One of the most popular is to stay out of a relationship for your first year sober. Another is to wait the same amount of time to get a pet.
It doesn’t always make sense in the moment. These suggestions only reveal their importance in hindsight. That’s why they’re very often ignored. Our ingrained need to get what we want when we want it makes us stubbornly choose to jump into things. We often do whatever looks good in the moment, with little consideration for what the long-term outcome may be.
Consider getting a hobby before you get a pet!
Things to Consider
First of all, consider what foundations you have in your life. If you’re newly sober, do you have a steady job that allows you to be self-sufficient? If the answer is no, then you can’t afford a pet. If it’s yes, then ask yourself if you have a routine that allows you to focus on the things you need each day. These are things like meetings, working with a sponsor, attending any therapy you might do, going to work, or going to school. If you have a routine, and there’s time in it for a pet, then it becomes a matter of practicality.
We’re capable of doing all the things that so-called normal people do. There’s no reason we shouldn’t have pets that we love and care for. There’s nothing that says we aren’t responsible enough for a pet. In fact, the woman who’s active in recovery is often an example of responsibility!
Are you looking for love and companionship? Learn how one woman found love in sobriety!
At the risk of over-therapizing the issue, it’s worth considering if you’re buying a pet to fill some void, or offer a temporary fix to a bigger problem. The reality with every addict and alcoholic is that we’re spiritually sick. We frequently look to things outside of ourselves for fulfillment. Animals are without defense and it’s unfair to make them yet another victim of our own need to feel better.
Ideally, like with most major life changes, you’ll give yourself ample time to work on you before getting a pet. Remember, there’s no rush! Waiting to make such a large decision makes it that much more beautiful when you do get a pet. That way, you enter pet ownership out of love, not loneliness. You know that you have the means and wherewithal to care for another living creature.
