by Fiona Stockard | May 19, 2015 | Addiction Articles, Recovery
By: Tim Myers
Man’s Best Friend
My dog keeps me sober. Or I guess you could say he helps. He doesn’t go to meetings, doesn’t have a sponsor, and he has never worked a step. When he talks, I can’t understand a single thing he says. He’s very good at listening.
I can say things to him that I can’t say to another human being. When I’m done I feel so much better because at least I’m not holding on to them any more.
If I want to sleep in, well, I can’t because he needs to go out. If I want to skip work, you guessed it, I can’t because I need to make money to pay for the massive amount of dog food I have to buy. I feed him twice a day, walk him three times, and play with him as much as I can. He has a pretty tight schedule, so I do too.
He keeps on task, on time, and on point. He brings a rigidity and structure to my life that I have never had before. Want to stay out late? I can’t, he needs me. Want to blow out of town for Vegas? I can’t, he needs me. My dog, in a way, makes sure I’m everywhere I need to be, when I need to be there. You see…he needs me.
I need him too. When I’m sad, depressed, and worn out, he’s there. He thinks everything is cool and funny and he picks me up when I’m down. Want to meet women? Want to meet men? Want to meet friends? He’s great for that.
Feel like rushing into a relationship because you’re lonely? Don’t bother if you’ve got a dog like I’ve got mine. There’s always something to do with him and he always wants to do something. Boredom, isolation, and fear? Haven’t seen them since I got my dog.
I’ve been a part of his life since he was three months old. I’ve seen him grow, develop, change, fall, get back up, learn, smile, and poop. He’s seen me grow, develop, change, fall, get back up, learn, smile, and poop.
I’ve worried about him and he’s worried about me. I’ve taken care of him and he’s taken care of me. I give 100% for him expecting nothing in return. Well, I expect that he won’t bite me. He gives 100% to me expecting nothing in return. Well, he expects treats.
My dog has never been to a meeting and has no idea that I’m an alcoholic, yet he has helped me more than a lot of people in recovery. Many people in recovery have helped me get to where I am today, but many have hurt me as well and, yes, I have hurt people too. But my dog hasn’t.
He steers me toward the right direction every single day. He’s never faltered and he never will. He loves me for me and, through this relationship, I’ve learned to treat people better. I have learned the meaning of friendship.
My dog has never seen me drunk and as long as I have God, AA, and a dog…he never will.
by A Women in Sobriety | May 22, 2014 | Addiction Articles, Benefits of Sobriety
Blaming Others
Before getting help for my addiction, I spent years blaming others for everything. It was always someone else’s fault that I drank and used drugs the way I did. “If what happened to me had happened to you, you’d use drugs like I do,” was pretty much my go to response for everything.
I have heard this same phrase repeated by countless women in recovery. It seems to be a faulty slogan that many of us lived by. Of course, addiction is a disease and this wasn’t the only reason I drank and used drugs. It was a great way to justify my actions and shift the blame on others. This cycle of shifting blame allowed my disease to stay strong for years.
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The Progression of My Disease
During my years getting high, and before I ever picked up a drug or drink, my disease was progressing. I stopped speaking to “normal” people and my life became hanging out with my drug dealer. As I became less and less accountable to regular people, I also lost any notion of self-accountability. See, addiction is a selfish disease. The only thing I cared about was how and when I’d get drugs.
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Misguided Truth
Finally, I had this misguided belief that there were no consequences to ANY of my actions. Whether it was stealing something or hurting a loved one, the obsession to drink and drug trumped any potential consequences. Mostly, I barely gave consequences a passing thought. I just didn’t care.
Moving Towards Recovery
As a woman takes her first step into recovery, it’s extremely importance that she begin to understand what it actually means to be sober and accountable.
Accountability, sobriety, and honesty are all linked. Really, you can’t have one without the others. While in treatment, you learn to be accountable to your peers and therapists. You can get “honest” with your group about your feelings or a potential mistake. Practicing this kind of honesty is integral to staying sober, because, first and foremost, you must be honest with yourself about being an addict.
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Continued Accountability
If you decide to work a twelve-step program after drug treatment, you’ll learn to be accountable to your sponsor. Practicing this kind of accountability with your home group and sponsor helps in the long run. Staying sober is about being accountable to yourself and to God as you understand God. You’re making a commitment to yourself to stay sober for the rest of your life, one day at a time. With a sponsor, you’ll learn to set goals and stick to those goals.
Look, as addicts we’re used to running from responsibility. It was avoided at all costs. “I’ll pay that bill tomorrow,” “tomorrow I’ll stop drinking,” “I’ll apologize to my loved ones tomorrow.” Those are just a few examples. It’s important to remember that we can’t get sober alone. With the help of support groups, therapy, and a sponsor we can learn to treat this disease. We can learn to be accountable and productive members of society!
