by Sally Rosa | Jun 18, 2015 | Addiction Articles, Recovery
Can Listening to Certain Music Make You Relapse?
I’ve asked friends this question over the last few weeks. Their response has been overwhelmingly NO! Still, it’s a question worth asking and one that’s been on my mind a lot lately.
See, the first rehab I ever went to, way back at eighteen years old, advised me not to listen to certain music until I had a year sober. They said I shouldn’t listen to music I liked when I was using, music that glorifies drugs or alcohol, or music made by active addicts and alcoholics.
While I sort of agree with the first point, not listening to music I got high to, I don’t know about those other two ideas.
For example, I LOVE Pink Floyd. Does being in early-recovery mean I can’t listen to “Comfortably Numb?” I also love The Beatles. Does being in early-sobriety mean I can’t listen to Sgt. Pepper’s?
Maybe I’m just overthinking things. I’ve been known to do that (hello – alcoholic here!). I’m not so sure though. Let’s explore this idea of music in early-recovery being a trigger a bit more in-depth.
Were My Therapists onto Something?
I don’t believe in triggers. I’ve said it before and, most likely, I’ll say it many more times. That’s just my opinion though. Everyone has different opinions and everyone is entitled to their own! That little nugget of wisdom was learned the hard way!
So, when my therapist in rehab told me their opinions, that certain music is triggering, I initially disregarded it. They were telling me that I had to go an entire year without listening to my two favorite genres – classic rock and hip hop (weird mix, I know).
I didn’t want to hear that! I was going through ten million different things. I needed the comfort blanket that music provided me. At least, that’s what I thought at the time.
Looking back on their advice, it wasn’t half bad. Plus, they were coming from a place of compassion and care. At the time, though, I just thought they were evil old men who were out of touch with today’s culture.
Whether you believe in triggers or not, there’s something to be said for avoiding triggering events in the early days of sobriety. As we grow in our sobriety, as we effect a spiritual awakening and connection, we’re free to do whatever we want (as long as it fits within spiritual principles, of course).
Times are hard during those early days though. I don’t know if listening to Led Zeppelin would have caused me to relapse. I don’t know if listening to 50 Cent would have caused me to relapse. I don’t know if listening to the same music I nodded out to would have caused me to relapse.
But guess what? I stayed away from all that music while I was in rehab, and in the months after, and relapsed anyway.
The Case for Listening to Whatever You Want
I kind of laid this out above, but I’ll repeat it because us alcoholics and addicts are hardheaded. After we become connected to a power greater than ourselves, the obsession to drug and drink is removed. We can go anywhere, do anything, and listen to any music without being tempted to relapse.
That’s the amazing thing about spiritual sobriety – we become free! That’s certainly been the case in my own recovery and in those closest to me.
Once we do the work and become connected to a God of our own understanding, we can listen to whatever type of music we want. Triggers don’t exist once we’re at this point. Our mind and spirit have recovered from a seemingly hopeless state.
Of course, there’s a very important caveat to that statement. We have to do the work! We have to be actively practicing God-consciousness. If we’re not, well, then we still have an alcoholic mind and an alcoholic mind always leads to relapse.
If we’re suffering from untreated alcoholism/addiction and listen to “harmful” music, music from our using days or that glorifies drugs and booze, then we probably will relapse over it. It’ll bring up a lot of emotions, feelings, and cravings we don’t want to deal it. At that point, it’s in our nature to drink.
The Final Verdict
So, is music in early-recovery triggering? The answer is both yes and no. That’s my experience and opinion anyway.
What about you? What’s your experience been like with music during the early days of sobriety? Let us know on social media!
by Sally Rosa | Feb 9, 2015 | Addiction Articles, Recovery
Relapse Isn’t Mandatory
I recently stumbled across an amazing article on Huffington Post. It was an examination of relapse, recovery, and how normalizing relapse doesn’t benefit anyone – addict or family.
The author, Candace Plattor, is a clinical counselor and an individual in long-term recovery. She’s been sober for over twenty-seven years! That’s pretty impressive! She’s been sober for longer than I’ve been alive! Rock on, Candace!
I found her essay moving because it speaks to something that any woman, or any man for that matter, in recovery can attest to – the prevalence of relapse and the increasingly relaxed attitude surrounding it.
Now don’t get me wrong, relapse happens and we should treat those who slip with love and compassion. Lord knows I’ve relapsed before. If those in recovery hadn’t reached out and offered me a hand back up, I don’t know if I’d be here today.
That being said, I think Candace makes some good points. I think she’s offering a new way of thinking (which is really a throwback to an old way!) about relapse, recovery, and the struggle to stay sober one day at a time.
The Power of Willingness
One of the first points Candace makes, and something I’ve experienced firsthand, is that we need a great deal of willingness to get and stay sober. I can attest this is absolutely true! What’s more, I bet most of you reading can attest to the same thing.
I needed the willingness to check myself into treatment. I needed the willingness to get a sponsor. I needed the willingness to work the twelve-steps honestly and thoroughly. I needed the willingness to face my issues and work on them. I needed the willingness for a million other things as well.
Candace writes, “A huge part of that choice to get help and stay in recovery was that I had to be willing to learn how to face a life that wasn’t very pleasant without the use of mind-altering drugs” (Huffington Post).
That willingness didn’t come easy! It was only when everything else, including drugs and booze, had stopped working that I found it. I know I lacked any level of willingness in some of my halfhearted early attempts at sobriety.
Guess what happened during those attempts? I relapsed. I returned to opiates and alcohol because I wasn’t willing to do the work. I wasn’t willing to face the pain. Were my relapses required, though? Were they necessary parts of my sobriety?
Absolutely not!
Sobriety Isn’t Easy but It Isn’t Impossible
Another point that Candace touches on is how sobriety can oftentimes be incredibly difficult. Once again, raise your hand if you’ve experienced that yourself. Everyone’s hand is up? That’s what I thought!
While Candace struggles with Crohn’s Disease, I’ve struggled with mental health issues like anxiety and depression. I think any alcoholic, if they take a moment to reflect, can come up with a handful of serious issues they’ve struggled with in sobriety.
Now, oftentimes these struggles can be easy excuses for relapse. They can be an easy way to avoid facing the pain mentioned above. Fortunately, they don’t have to be.
Candace writes,
“That was an amazingly difficult time in my life, but the inner strength and self-respect I gained from that experience…have made me the person I am today, a person who’s proud of herself and knows she can handle the tough times. I’m grateful for that, and I’d love it if we could all feel that way about ourselves” (Huffington Post).
I love that! It’s so true that we gain strength, faith, and inner-love from facing and overcoming the challenges of life. It’s sort of like that saying “if you want self-esteem, do esteem-able acts.” If you want inner-strength, flex your God-muscle and face your demons!
Relapse is a Choice
Something I personally tend to forget is the simple fact that, for someone who’s gone through the steps, relapse is a choice. It’s nothing more and nothing less. For someone who’s had the obsession to drug and drink removed, picking up a drug or a drink is a conscious choice.
In her essay, Candace touches on this. She says,
“It’s absolutely up to the addict, whichever way they go in terms of staying abstinent or not — millions of clean and sober addicts show us every day that relapse is NOT a normal, expected part of recovery…” (Huffington Post).
Now, it’s important to remember this isn’t true for women who haven’t had the obsession removed! In early-sobriety, relapse often happens because the mental obsession returns and we have to drink. It’s not a choice, but rather a manifestation of the “strange mental blank spots” the book talks about.
Once we’ve gone through the steps, though, and had a spiritual awakening, relapse becomes 100% a choice. It’s at this point that personal responsibility and culpability enter the picture. It’s at this point that being of service to those who need it becomes of the utmost importance!
What do you think about relapse not being a required part of recovery? Let us know on social media!
