Faith Facts Friday With Fiona

Written By: Fiona Stockard

The Big Book Broken Down – Part Thirteen

Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who help each other to recover from alcohol and drug addiction. It was founded in June of 1935, just celebrated its seventy-ninth anniversary, and boasts over two million members.

AA’s central text is the Big Book. With a sponsor and a Big Book, AA members work the twelve steps, and “recover from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body” (title page).

Big Book

Today, I’ll be breaking down a section of the chapter Working With Others.

Working With Others

Part of getting sober is learning how to deal with our families. By deal, I don’t mean begrudgingly exist with them! No, I’m talking about being helpful, kind, patient, and loving.

That’s new for most of us! It was for me anyway. Prior to sobering up, I was nothing but a drain on my family and loved ones. It was hard to start giving instead of taking. It was hard to start comforting instead of being comforted.

My new relationship with my family began after I’d made amends and shown them that I meant business. Working With Others echoes this idea. It reads,

“When your prospect has made such reparation as [s]he can to his [or her!] family, and has thoroughly explained to them the new principals by which [s]he is living, [s]he should proceed to put those principals into action at home” (p 98).

Before I cleared away the wreckage of my past, I wasn’t able to live on spiritual principals. Once I’d made amends and, more importantly, incorporated the ideas behind my amends into my life, well, that’s when things began to change. That’s when I stopped blaming my dad for all my mistakes. That’s when I stopped arguing with my mom about every little thing.

Again, Working With Others emphasis this. It says, “[S]he should concentrate on his own spiritual demonstration. Argument and fault-finding are to be avoided like the plague” (p 98).

That’s much easier said than done! For me, learning how to live in harmony, peace, and usefulness with my family was a trial and error process. After enough errors, I started to get it right!

Then there’s the idea of continued sobriety and spiritual growth. Simply telling my parents and brother I was sorry, then continuing to act on old behavior, wasn’t going to cut it. Nope. I had to live a completely new way of life. A.A. puts it like this,

“…the alcoholic continues to demonstrate that [s]he can be sober, considerate, and helpful, regardless of what anyone says or does. Of course, we all fall much below this standard many times. But we must try to repair the damage immediately…” (p 99).

What happens if we don’t get our family back, though? What happens if our drinking and drugging was so bad, took us to such a dark place, that our family wants nothing to do with us? Well, we can still get better!

Getting sober with the support and love of family is the easier path. Just because they may not want a relationship, though, doesn’t mean we can’t still heal. The only person we need a relationship with is God. Working With Others reads,

“Let no alcohol say [s]he cannot recover unless [s]he has his [or her!] family back. This just isn’t so…Remind the prospect that his [or her] recovery is not dependent upon people. It is dependent upon his [or her] relationship with God” (pp 99-100).

That’s the truth. I was lucky because, despite hurting them time and time again, my family gave me another chance. That’s not always the case. If they hadn’t wanted me in their life, I’d still have been okay as long as I had God in my life.

It’s that simple. God is or God isn’t. God is everything or God is nothing. You choose.

So, what happens once we have God in our lives? Well, A.A. says, “Both you and the new [wo]man must walk day by day in the path of spiritual progress. If you persist, remarkable things will happen” (p 100).

Remarkable things? Sounds good to me. Where do I sign up?

Tune in next week for another installment of Faith Facts Friday with Fiona!

The Top Five Signs Your Co-Worker is a Recovering Alcoholic

By: Tim Myers

How To Tell Your Co-Working is a Recovering Alcoholic

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Almost four years ago I stopped drinking. I have no idea why I did, I just did. I’d tried for many years to quit, but for some reason on December 6th 2010, I stopped.

Now, my problem wasn’t stopping. My problem was figuring out for the love of God how to stay stopped! I’d tried the girlfriend maintenance program. I’d tried the white-knuckle roller coaster. I’d tried the “non-alcoholic” beer club. Nothing worked, until everything worked.

For years and years, my co-workers suffered as my alcohol fueled body roared through their lives, making them work longer and harder, while I got drunker and drunker.

Today, I try to treat those I work with better than that. I try to be an asset instead of a liability. Recovering alcoholics who work a good program are the nicest and hardest working people in the office. You’d have no idea they used to sleep in the bathroom of a strip club.

So, if you’re thinking, “Man, I wonder why Jim from the mail room is such a great dude?” It could be because he’s a recovering alcoholic. Before asking Jim, look for these five signs.

5) They’re on the Phone A Lot Having Secret Conversations

 

It’s not a job interview or a mistress. Nope, they’re called sponsees.

After I had one year sober, I was always bouncing to the stairwell to answer a call. Sponsees call five times a day or never at all. They could be calling to tell you they drank, calling to discuss the Doctor’s Opinion, or just calling to tell you their calves hurt from the 5K they ran in. No matter what the reason, every call helps us stay sober.

So yeah, he may be on the phone a lot but, he’s getting pretty sober.

4) Everything Always Seems to Work Out for Them

 

You know that guy who always seems to be in the right place at the right time? That guy who always seems to get what he wants? Well, that guy may be a recovering alcoholic.

Here’s why – as alcoholics in recovery, we help other people stay sober. We live our lives honestly and justly, by helping others stay sober and by living a life of service. Through doing that, we’re making the world a better place. God likes that.

When you help others, good things happen to you. If you punch you sister in her stupid face, steal twenty dollars from your Mom, and then ask Dad to borrow the car, he’s going to say no, you’re an a*shole.

If you help your sister with her homework, kiss her stupid face, and help mom with the laundry, then Dad’s probably going to give you the keys, and few bucks for gas.

The same thing applies here. Help others and good things happen to you. So, if everything in your co-worker’s life seems to be star-spangled awesome, he might just be making the world a more sober place.

3) They Seem to Admit They Were Wrong

 

It’s called direct amends. It’s one of the things we do on a daily basis that keeps us from being a total a*shole. It’ll probably garner a lot of attention in the office, since most people like to stuff that humility and responsibility down their pants.

This isn’t a sign of weakness. They’re not being a push over. They’re just showing you what integrity looks like.

2) They Make Your Life Better

 

You know that person that just makes you feel better by being there? That person who always seems to have your back? They’re funny, kind, and give great advice. That’s how it feels to have a true and honest-to-goodness recovering alcoholic in your life, or at least that’s how the ones in my life make me feel.

1) They Never Drink Ever

 

Period.