by Sally Rosa | Apr 21, 2015 | 12 Steps, Addiction Articles
Happy 76th Birthday!
image via Wikipedia
Just a few days ago, April 10th to be exact, the Big Book celebrated its 76th birthday!
How cool is that? One of the most influential books of all time (if I do say so myself!) has been around for over seventy-five years. It’s helped millions of alcoholics recover from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body. It’s restored families, saved marriages, and offered hope to so many people.
The Big Book is my favorite book and that’s coming from someone who LOVES books. I started and finished The Bell Jar this week and it’s only Thursday! Still, no other book compares to the Big Book. Perhaps that’s because no other book has literally saved my life (although a few have impacted me pretty substantially).
Anyway, that’s just my personal opinion of the book. Guess what? It’s gotten all sorts of other accolades over its seventy-six years! A quick Google search turns up some interesting details:
- The Big Book is one of the best selling books of all time. It’s thought to hover right around the 50th place mark. It’s sold, in total, over 30 million copies (yes, I said million!)
- The Big Book is included in Time’s list of the 100 most influential books of all time
- The Big Book was recognized by the United State’s Library of Congress as one of the eighty-eight “books that shaped America”
- Early after its release, one reviewer called the Big Book “the greatest redemptive force of the twentieth century.” The New York Times said the book was unlike any other book ever published. Another reviewer “called the book extraordinary and stated that it deserved the attention of anyone worried about the problem of alcoholism.”
And that’s just what a quick search turned up! Yeah, it’s safe to say the Big Book is one-of-a-kind and has changed addiction treatment forever.
How the Big Book Changed America
That’s a bold claim, right? Saying that the Big Book changed America isn’t just a statement. It’s a declaration and it needs to be backed up with fact. Well, guess what? It did change America.
The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous changed how America views and treats alcoholism and addiction. Before that fateful day in April of 1939, alcoholism was thought of in the same way it had been for hundreds of years. That is to say, alcoholism was viewed as shameful secret, a moral problem, and a personal failure.
Around the time AA was founded in 1935, doctors all over the country were starting to measure alcoholism by scientific, rather than moral, standards. The Big Book is an example of the right thing at the right time. Its publication coincided with an increasingly medical and scientific view of the disease of alcoholism (emphasis on the word disease).
After April 10th, 1939, alcoholism and addiction as a disease began to be widely accepted. Certainly this wasn’t only because of the book, but it galvanized thousands, and eventually millions, of people to see alcoholism in a whole new light.
Equally as important as the Big Book changing the paradigm of alcoholism treatment, is how it changed that paradigm. Remember, those in the medical community were already starting to think of alcoholism as a disease, but what about normal women and men? What about the wife up the street with an alcoholic husband? What about the store clerk with an alcoholic wife? What about the worried parents with an alcoholic child?
The Big Book spoke to these people directly. It used simple, everyday language to explain complex ideas. It spoke of spirituality in a way that made even the most agnostic or atheist person say, “Well, maybe they’re right.” It tackled issues of guilt, shame, remorse, sex, lies, and so much more with grace and dignity. In short, it gave a human touch to alcoholism.
Let’s all take a moment to be thankful it did. If the Big Book wasn’t written, well, I wouldn’t be typing these words. I’m willing to bet you wouldn’t be reading them. I’m indebted to this book and, of course, to Bill Wilson and Dr. Bob. It’s with the deepest respect that I take off my metaphorical hat and say Happy Birthday!
by Fiona Stockard | Dec 12, 2014 | 12 Steps, Addiction Articles
Written By: Fiona Stockard
The Big Book Broken Down – Part Fifteen
Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who help each other to recover from alcohol and drug addiction. It was founded in June of 1935, just celebrated its seventy-ninth anniversary, and boasts over two million members.
AA’s central text is the Big Book. With a sponsor and a Big Book, AA members work the twelve steps, and “recover from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body” (title page).
Today, I’ll be finishing the chapter Working With Others.
Working With Others
Picking up from last week, Working With Others goes on to offer advice on how we can act when we’re someplace where people are drinking. It says, “Do not think of what you will get out of the occasion. Think of what you can bring to it” (p. 102).
The idea of contributing to an occasion, rather than simply trying to have a good time, touches upon a central theme of Alcoholics Anonymous. I was a taker my entire life. I was selfish to the extreme. After getting sober, it was time for me to start giving!
Say I’m at a friend’s birthday party. People are drinking and having a good time. I can have a good time and try my best to make the birthday gal have an even better time!
In fact, Working With Others says as much. The chapter reads, “If it is a happy occasion, try to increase the pleasure of those there; if a business occasion, go and attend to your business enthusiastically” (p. 102).
Sounds simple. Of course, like most of AA’s principles, it’s much easier said than done! After all, it takes time to break habits we’ve had for years or decades.
The chapter then goes on to talk about how we interact with “normies.” It advises us not to infringe upon our nonalcoholic friends’ right to drink. It says, “Let your friends know they are not to change their habits on your account” (p. 102).
It would be pretty selfish of us to impose on someone who wants to drink (who doesn’t have a problem with booze). Remember, we’re trying to get rid of this selfishness! We’re growing as women from selfish to selfless.
What about keeping booze in our house, though? Maybe we have a boyfriend or husband who likes a beer with dinner. Maybe we live with our parents and they like a cocktail before bed. What do we do?
Once again, the Big Book has us covered! Working With Others says,
“Many of us keep liquor in our homes…some of us still serve it to our friends provided they are not alcoholic…we feel that each family, in the light of their own circumstances, ought to decide for themselves” (pp. 102-103).
Thanks AA! You have an answer to every question that crosses my mind! This chapter ends with two key ideas. First it advises us recovering alcoholics to avoid prejudice. It says, “We are careful never to show intolerance or hatred of drinking as an institution” (p. 103).
Sounds good to me. There’s no reason for me, as a sober woman of grace and dignity, to hate on people who drink. Of course, if someone is struggling with alcoholism or addiction, I’ll be quick to share my story with them.
Working With Others ends with a quote I hear repeated often in the rooms of recovery. It goes a little something like,
“After all, our problems were of our own making. Bottles were only a symbol. Besides, we have stopped fighting anybody or anything. We have to!” (p. 103).
Sounds about right to me!
by Sally Rosa | Dec 3, 2014 | Addiction Articles, Sobriety For Women
Alcoholics Anonymous: The Early Days
Alcoholics Anonymous began on the first day of Dr. Bob’s sobriety – June 10th, 1935.
Several years later, 1939 to be exact, the book Alcoholics Anonymous: The Story of How Many Thousands of Men and Women Have Recovered from Alcoholism was published. This volume has come to be affectionately called the Big Book.
In the almost eighty years since A.A.’s founding, it’s helped millions of people recover and spawned countless other fellowships. Today, a woman trying to get sober has her pick of fellowships, meetings, and sponsors. It wasn’t always like that.
I’m not so sure the explosive growth of twelve-step based recovery is such a good thing. Let me be clear, I’m beyond grateful for this program. When I think of all the lives A.A., and other twelve-step fellowships, have touched, my mind boggles.
Still, a lot has changed since Bill and Dr. Bob set out to help other alcoholics. Sponsorship, and in a larger sense recovery, isn’t treated the same.
Success Rates from the Early Days
The second edition of the Big Book contains a forward. Published in 1955, it reads “Of alcoholics who came to AA and really tried, 50% got sober at once and remained that way; 25% sobered up after some relapses, and among the remainder, those who stayed on with AA showed improvement” (The Big Book, page XX).
50%, or 75% depending on how you look at it, isn’t too shabby! Imagine if half to three quarters of those walking through the doors of AA today got sober!
So, why’d rates of recovery drop from those lofty numbers to today’s approximate 1%? More importantly, how do we get back to these astounding numbers of recovery?
Well, it could have something to do with sponsorship.
Sponsorship from the Early Days
“Though three hundred thousand have recovered in the last twenty-five years, maybe half a million more have walked into our midst, and then out again. We can’t well content ourselves with the view that all these recovery failures were entirely the fault of the newcomers themselves. Perhaps a great many didn’t receive the kind and amount of sponsorship they so sorely needed. We didn’t communicate when we might have done so. So we AA’s failed them.”
–Bill W., excerpted from a 1961 volume of the Grapevine
During the 1930’s, 40’s, and 50’s, a different type of sponsorship was practiced. First, there was co-sponsorship. Before we get into that, though, let’s discuss God centered sponsorship.
God Centered Sponsorship
This is the idea that rather than running to your sponsor with any and all problems, you take them to God.
Remember, nowhere in the Big Book does it say we should rely too much on our sponsor. In fact, nowhere in the Big Book does it mention a sponsor at all. This idea will be explored in detail later.
Anyway, God centered sponsorship is simple. We pick a sponsor, a woman who’s been through all twelve of the steps. We work through them with her. Then, instead of besieging her every time something bad happens, we pray and meditate over it.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s vitally important to communicate with your sponsor. Hell, I call mine four or five times a week. Still, I don’t bring my problems to her (unless, of course, it’s a problem she’s had personal experience with).
I bring my problems to God. I pray to God, letting her (yep, my God is a woman!) know what’s going on. Then I meditate, listening for an answer. Often, God speaks to me through other women. For example, if I have a problem with money, I’m going to call my friends who’re good with money. That’s God speaking to me.
Want to know something funny? Often, after meditating on a problem or issue, I’ll call my sponsor about it. That’s another perfect example of God speaking to me through other women.
I think it’s important here to point out the difference between practicing God centered sponsorship and simply being lazy. Being lazy is not working steps, not communicating with your sponsor, and not living life on spiritual principals. God centered sponsorship is working steps and then communicating with your sponsor as needed rather than 1,000 times each day.
Co-Sponsorship
If God centered sponsorship sounds radical (and I hope it doesn’t!) then co-sponsorship is going to sound crazy! This is the idea that the sponsor should take her current sponsee with her to meet other newcomers.
Okay, that sounds kind of confusing, right? I had to read it twice and I’m still not sure what I wrote. Thankfully, Clarence S., an old-timer, had a much simpler explanation. He wrote,
“Additional information for sponsoring a new [wo]man can be obtained from the experience of older [wo]men in the work. A co-sponsor, with an experienced and newer member working on a prospect, has proven very satisfactory. Before undertaking the responsibility of sponsoring, a member should make certain that [s]he is able and prepared to give the time, effort, and thought such an obligation entails. It might be that [s]he will want to select a co-sponsor to share the responsibility, or [s]he might feel it necessary to ask another to assume the responsibility for the [wo]man he has located.”
–Clarence S., excerpted from a 1944 pamphlet on sponsorship
Leaving out the use of male pronouns (seriously, were no women getting sober back then?!), that makes a lot of sense. I cringe when I think of how I sponsored my first newcomer. I didn’t send her to God at all!
If my sponsor had been there, guiding us both, maybe things would have turned out differently. Or maybe not, who knows? God works in mysterious ways, my friends!
Could These Techniques Lead to More Women Recovering?
Ultimately, I don’t know! I think there are a lot of benefits to things like God centered sponsorship and co-sponsorship.
I think there are also other beneficial tactics women with time can take to help newcomers. For example, why make a sponsee call us? Shouldn’t we be calling them? Isn’t that how Bill found Dr. Bob in the first place?
So, will this sort of proactive, in-depth sponsorship help newcomers? There’s only one way to find out! I’ll see you out there in the trenches, ladies!
by Sally Rosa | Nov 26, 2014 | 12 Steps, Addiction Articles
Written By: Fiona Stockard
What are the 10th Step Promises?
Much like the ninth step promises, the tenth step promises are a section of the Big Book where recovering alcoholics are promised peace and recovery from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body.
Sounds too goo to be true, right? Wrong! The tenth step promises are available for everyone who works for them. They’re guaranteed to you, to me, and to the broken woman who just walked through the door.
Of course, there’s a pretty big caveat here. We have to do the work! These promises don’t just magically happen in our lives. We have to sweat. We have to earn it. We have to earn recovery!
Bill Wilson Wrote –
And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone-even alcohol. For by this time sanity will have returned. We will seldom be interested in liquor. If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame. We react sanely and normally, and we will find that this has happened automatically. We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part. It just comes! That is the miracle of it. We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation. We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality—safe and protected. We have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us. We are neither cocky nor are we afraid. That is how we react so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition.
–(Big Book pp. 84-85)
Again, like the ninth step promises, I didn’t know what those words meant until I experienced them. It’s easy to read, “…the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us.” To experience that freedom firsthand, though? I can’t describe it. It’s simply freedom.
My Experience with the 10th Step Promises
I’m a tried and true alcoholic and addict. Before picking up a drink, I would use things like attention, controlling my weight, boys, and good grades to feel different. Then I got high. After that, all bets were off.
See, I have the three-part disease of alcoholism and addiction. My body processes alcohol and drugs differently than “a normie’s” body. Once I start, I can’t stop. Of course, stopping wouldn’t be a problem if I never started in the first place.
I always begin to drink again. I always begin to drink until I reached “a position of neutrality – safe and protected.” See, I had a mental obsession with drinking and drugging. Once I started to think about alcohol, I wouldn’t stop until the thought of drinking pushed out all else. I wouldn’t stop until a drink was in my hand.
That’s the heart of alcoholism – the bizarre mental obsession. Did you notice, though, that I wrote in past tense in the above paragraph? That’s because I’ve recovered. I’ve been granted safety from a God of my own understanding. I’ve been set free.
That’s my experience with the tenth step promises. They set me free. When I was newly sober, they offered me hope. My sponsor showed them to me almost immediately. I thank God she did. They showed me that recovery isn’t only possible, it’s promised if I do the work.
See, I have to complete the steps in order for these promises to manifest in my life. Even then, they don’t always occur during the tenth, eleventh, or twelfth step. It takes some women much longer to have them come true in their lives. For some lucky women, the obsession is lifted before they reach the tenth step. Like most of sobriety, these promises are an entirely subjective experience.
The bottom line, though, is if I do the work, if I search within myself and find God, the obsession to drink and drug will be removed. That’s all I can ask for and all I continue to ask for on a daily basis.
