by A Women in Sobriety | Aug 4, 2014 | Addiction Articles, Drug Addiction
Another High Profile Addict
Dustin Johnson, one of the best golfers playing today, is an addict.
Now, this may be a strong proclamation, hell it may even sound like libel, but it’s absolutely true. Johnson recently failed a drug screen after testing positive for cocaine. This is Johnson’s third failed drug screen in five years. In 2009, he tested positive for marijuana. In 2012, he tested positive for cocaine.
After this most recent failed drug screen, Johnson’s management company issued a statement that he would be taking a sabbatical from professional golf – “I will use this time to seek professional help for personal challenges I have faced.”
Convinced Yet?
All of this is to say that addiction doesn’t discriminate. It affects those from the bottom of the barrel, right up to those at the very top. You could say it’s an equal opportunities offender.
Now, at this point, you still might not be convinced that Johnson is an addict. He’s a careless, professional athlete, you may be thinking. He screwed up a couple times, but who hasn’t, you may be saying. Let’s take a minute to define addiction, and look at how it commonly manifests.
What is Addiction? How Does it Manifest?
Addiction is defined as a chronic, progressive illness, characterized by an individual’s repeated use of a substance, despite negative consequences.
Okay, so addiction is chronic, or long-term. Three failed drug tests in five years sounds chronic to me. While he hasn’t been shot-gunning beers and doing blow for decades, five years of drug abuse is long enough to do major damage to one’s body, family, reputation, etc.
Addiction is progressive. This means that as time passes, it gets worse. In 2009, Johnson was smoking weed. By 2012, he had moved onto cocaine. Drug progression? Check.
Addiction is characterized by the repeated use of a substance, despite negative consequences. Well, Johnson continued to use despite failing drug screens. He continued to use despite knowing he’d be tested again. He continued to use despite being a high profile athlete. He risked current and future endorsements, not to mention his reputation. Sounds like there was repeated use, despite numerous negative consequences.
My Experience, Strength, and Hope
While I’m by no means a professional athlete, I certainly am an addict. Today though, I’m a sober addict. I’m in recovery and have been for quite some time.
There’s this tricky part of addiction, the part where the addict doesn’t think they have a problem. There are innumerable reasons for this. For me, it was the people I used with. They used as much, and as hard, as I did. They shot dope, smoked crack, and engaged in crime, right alongside me. This allowed me to trick myself into thinking everyone used like I did. Obviously, this wasn’t the case at all.
After years spent destroying myself, I realized that MAYBE, just maybe, I did have a drug problem. Then a funny thing happened, I realized I’d always known I was an addict. I’d just stuffed that knowledge down inside and covered it with a film of opiates and crack. This knowledge allowed me to come into recovery, which was only the start of my journey.
I relapsed a handful of times. Remember, addiction is chronic. It doesn’t just disappear overnight. Addicts need to do some HARD work to get better. In the beginning, I wasn’t ready to do this work. So, I got high. After enough pain, I did the work. I went to treatment, got involved in the twelve-steps, and attained peace of mind.
Okay….So?
Listen, I’m not Dustin Johnson. That much should be obvious! I’m not a professional athlete and I’m definitely not rich. I don’t know who Johnson uses with, or how his loved ones feel about his use. I do know a few things though.
I know how Johnson uses. I know how much he doesn’t want to use. I know the lies he tells himself.
I know how baffled he is after he does get high. I know that feeling of complete disappointment with yourself. I know that self-hatred.
Hell, I bet I can even tell you exactly what he says after a binge – “That was f*cking horrible. I gotta do something…okay, no more hard drugs. Just booze.” I know all this because I’ve been there.
So, from one addict to another, get some help Dustin. You don’t even again have to feel this crappy. There’s another way of life and it’s so much better than active addiction. There’s hope, I promise you that Dustin, there’s so much hope.
by Fiona Stockard | Aug 1, 2014 | 12 Steps, Addiction Articles
Written By: Fiona Stockard
The Basic Text Broken Down – Part One
Narcotics Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who help each other recover from drug and alcohol addiction. It was founded in July of 1953, just celebrated its sixty-first anniversary, and boasts over 60,000 meetings worldwide.
NA’s central literature is the Basic Text. With a sponsor, the Basic Text, and a workbook, NA members work the twelve steps. Through working these steps, NA members learn that “Just for today, you never have to use again!” (xxiii)
What exactly is the Basic Text? How does reading a book help someone achieve and maintain clean time? The aim of these articles are to answer exactly those questions.
Prefaces
The NA Basic Text is now in its sixth edition. Throughout each edition, there have been short prefaces explaining the changes made. Now, in the sixth edition, there are only two prefaces. One is the preface of the most recent edition, while the other is the preface of the very first edition.
Of particular interest is a short section from the preface to the first edition. It states, “As addicts, we know the pain of addiction, but we also know the joy of recovery we have found in the fellowship of Narcotics Anonymous” (xxiii).
This is a central facet of NA, the fellowship. Anytime an addict is struggling with cravings or other issues, they can go to a meeting and instantly be surrounded by family. They’re home in the rooms of Narcotics Anonymous.
Introduction
This chapter, as the name suggests, is a brief introduction to the program of NA. Founding NA members adopted their program of recovery from Alcoholics Anonymous. However, they make sure to note, “Alcoholism is too limited a term for us; our problem is not a specific substance, it is a disease called addiction” (xxv).
Here, they lay out an important concept, the disease model of addiction. This, much like AA’s disease model of alcoholism, is a three-part model. There’s a mental obsession, a physical allergy, and a spiritual malady. In order to recovery, all three parts of the disease must be addressed.
The way that NA treats the disease of addiction is by getting connected to a Higher Power and carrying a message of hope and healing to new members. This can be seen when, on the next page, they say “Our purpose is to remain clean, just for today, and to carry the message of recovery” (xxvi).
Chapter One – Who Is an Addict?
This chapter outlines who may benefit from the Narcotics Anonymous program.
One of the first things it points out is that “Some of us believe that our disease was present long before the first time we used” (3).
This idea, that drugs weren’t the problem, is central to any recovery programs. In fact, for many addicts, drugs were the solution! The problem rests within the addicts themselves. The problem was our inability to cope with life!
In fact, the chapter goes on to state this very notion. “We tried drug and combinations of drugs to cope with a seemingly hostile world” (4).
Once again, as addicts, drugs offer us a solution to the hardships in life. The problem is our inability to deal with these problems.
The chapter goes on to say, “We had to reach our bottom, before we were willing to stop” (7).
This is another idea central to NA – that addicts can only get better after hitting a bottom. I know this was certainly true for me. I had to lose everything before I thought that maybe I needed help. I had to isolate myself from everyone before I thought I might be the problem.
by Fiona Stockard | Jul 25, 2014 | 12 Steps, Addiction Articles
Written By: Fiona Stockard
The Big Book Broken Down – Part One
Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who help each other to recover from alcohol and drug addiction. It was founded in June of 1935, just celebrated its seventy-ninth anniversary, and boasts over two million members.
AA’s central text is the Big Book. With a sponsor and a Big Book, AA members work the twelve steps, and “recover from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body” (title page).
What exactly is the Big Book? How does reading a book help someone achieve and maintain sobriety? The aim of these articles are to answer exactly those questions.
Forwards
The Big Book is now in its fourth edition. In each edition there’s been a short forward outlining what changes have been included.
Of particular note is the forward to the second edition, published in 1955. A short section states, “Of alcoholics who came to AA and really tried, 50% got sober at once and remained that way; 25% sobered up after some relapses, and among the remainder, those who stayed on with AA showed improvement” (XX).
Here we see true statistics, none of that 1% stuff, but true hope for the suffering alcoholic. Remember though, these stats are for alcoholics who work steps!
The Doctor’s Opinion
This chapter outlines the disease model of alcoholism, as presented by doctor William Silkworth. In 1939, when the first edition of the Big Book was published, Silkworth was a leading authority on addiction medicine.
In The Doctor’s Opinion, Silkworth proposes that alcoholism is a three-part disease: physical, mental, and spiritual.
There’s the physical allergy to alcohol. This means that once an alcoholic begins drinking, they cannot stop. Their bodies process alcohol differently. In order to abstain from drinking, they have to be physically stopped (think getting arrested or going to detox).
There’s the mental obsession. This is when the thought to get drunk crowds out all else in the alcoholic’s mind. Basically, getting drunk ceases to be a thought and becomes an all-consuming fixation. This lasts until the alcoholic takes a drink, at which point the physical allergy kicks in.
There’s the spiritual malady. This is compromised of all the things that make the alcoholic drink in the first place. Things like low self-esteem, anxiety, and depression. This spiritual malady leaves the alcoholic “restless, irritable and discontented, unless they can again experience the sense of ease and comfort which comes at once by taking a few drinks” (xxviii-xxix).
Bill’s Story
This chapter is a brief biography of Bill Wilson. Bill, along with Dr. Bob Smith, founded AA in 1935. Bill was a New York stockbroker who had been trying to get sober for years. Although Bill found material and marital success, he struggled privately with alcoholism for most of his adult life.
Bill outlines the progression of his drinking career. He started drinking for fun, to bring out creativity, to loosen his shirttails. He progressed to drinking for necessity. Finally, he drank for oblivion. Bill mixed gin with sedatives and was in-and-out of a dozen treatment centers.
Finally, an old friend introduced Bill to the Oxford Groups. These were the predecessors to AA. Bill met Dr. Bob on a business trip and the rest, as they say, is history.
While reading this chapter, we see how each of the twelve steps are introduced and incorporated into Bill’s life. Just as we saw his descent into alcoholism, we now see his climb out.
Bill’s Story ends with the quote, “Each day my friend’s simple talk in our kitchen multiplies itself in a widening circle of peace on earth and good will to men” (16).
by Fiona Stockard | Jul 21, 2014 | 12 Steps, Addiction Articles
Written By: Katie Schipper
The Steps to Recovery Aren’t the Same for Everyone
Opinions on Taking Twelve-Steps to Recovery
Outside opinions on the inner-workings of twelve-step fellowships range from mild curiosity, to total disinterest, to insistence that they’re cults. At it’s very core, AA and other twelve-step recovery programs operate on the basis that if you want to recovery and remain anonymous, than you have a safe haven to do so. It’s on that foundation that you’re able to build a recovery program for yourself. You do this through sponsorship and the guidance of those that have come before you.
However, AA is in no way a one-size-fits-all program. Anyone who sees AA that way and represents it as such is operating from personal opinion. It’s hard for someone not in a recovery program to recognize the value of a support group. It’s probably even harder to understand the concept of anonymity. Hell, understanding those things is hard enough for people in recovery!
Twelve-step recovery is open to anyone with a desire to quit drinking or getting high (or a slew of other addictions). The truth is the actual journey of recovery looks different for each member.
Learn about the first step of twelve-step programs
The Twelve-Steps are a Process
The recovery process is exactly that, a process. It isn’t a thirty-day stay at an addiction treatment center for women. It isn’t a magic bullet that solves all of life’s problems.
Recovery, as a concept, goes way beyond the scope of the twelve-steps. It includes recovering from physical injuries, depression, emotional trauma, anxiety, and eating disorders. The list is endless – recovering from a break-up, from an ended friendship, from the death of someone you love. Recovering from these things doesn’t happen overnight. Some are easier to get through than others, but all pain demands attention. It doesn’t matter if that recovery is physical, mental, spiritual, emotional, or something else.
Why would an addict or alcoholic be any sort of exception to that rule? We don’t ask that someone “get over it” when they suffer an emotional loss (or at least we shouldn’t). Why would anyone expect that a lifestyle based on lies, fear, manipulation, denial, desperation, self-serving, and self-centeredness would heal without some intense and ongoing work?
In twelve-step recovery programs, the initial work of going through the steps with a sponsor is based on a set of suggestions. These suggestions clarify the nature of what we face (addiction and alcoholism). They advise we look at a lifetime of our thought and behavior patterns, which reveal how we’ve been running our lives (by fear and selfishness). Finally, they advise we try and make right some of the things we did. When this initial step-work process is complete, we show gratitude by taking new women through the same process. We keep our recovery alive by passing it onto others.
For those who believe AA and NA are cults, there are other options! Do your research, you’ll find plenty.
Learn about twelve-step meeting etiquette
No Requirement for “Membership”
None of the above are requirements for membership. Even within specific twelve-step programs, there are variants and adjustments each member can make. After getting through all twelve-steps of recovery, it becomes abundantly clear that recovery is exactly what you make it. You get to decide what it means to live differently, if living differently is what you want. Suggestions are made in the rooms of AA by sponsors and old timers, and anyone with a mouth really, but the reality is that you decide what rings true and speaks to your soul.
There’s No Right or Wrong Way
There isn’t a right or wrong way to start getting honest. There isn’t a right or wrong way to start learning who you really are. As time goes on, the spiritual principles you truly value will begin to develop and you decide how to nurture them. You choose how to pray. You choose how to meditate. You choose how to help another person – if you choose if you do those things at all! Recognizing that we’re all unique people, who happen to share a common bond, is meant to empower rather than subjugate. It’s up to you to own that power however you see fit.
