Written By: Fiona Stockard
Women In Sobriety
Often, the hardest thing for women in sobriety to do is let go of negative aspects in their lives. These can be glaringly obvious, or a bit subtler. Common areas include: people, places and things, significant others, and patterns of behavior.
People, Places, and Things
It’s often difficult for women in sobriety to break away from the people, places, and things they once surrounded themselves with. I know it was for me! Newly sober women need to remember to change what kept them in active addiction to begin with.
The company that women in active addiction keep is, more often than not, less than savory. Really, this is true of anyone in active addiction, male or female. It’s also true of where we hung out while using. Simply put, we weren’t staying at the RitzCarlton! If, by some strange miracle, we were staying at the Ritz, we found a way to bring the street in with us.
I often allowed myself to get caught up in all the bulls**t my boyfriend was into. I wound up doing all sorts of illegal things. This was due in part to my addiction, but also, in large part, because of my boyfriend. I’d venture a guess and say this is true of most female addicts!
On the other hand, women in sobriety don’t need to live like this anymore. Today, we’re given the choice of who we want to spend time with, intimate and otherwise.
We Only Have to Change…Everything
When we enter recovery, we find ourselves in a situation where we need to choose between what’s good and what isn’t. Sounds simple, right? Well, like most of life, it’s easier said than done.
Women in sobriety need to identify the positive and negative aspects of our lives. This is accomplished through working the twelve-steps (mainly in steps four, five, six, and seven). We need to capitalize on the positive areas and rid ourselves entirely of the bad. This means changing people, places, and things. This means ending unhealthy relationships.
To put it another way, this means changing everything!