Pain in Sobriety
It’s like a rite of passage everyone knows about and no one is looking forward to. It’s not a secret by any means. It’s talked about openly and honestly in meetings all over the world. It’s the big show everyone knows they have tickets for and will see at some point. Okay, I’m out of analogies, but you get what I’m talking about – hitting a bottom in sobriety.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve hit an emotional bottom in sobriety before. This isn’t my first rodeo. I’m also positive this won’t be my last. Nonetheless, here I am. Hi!
Just How Do You Reach a Bottom in Sobriety?
Let’s do a quick check on what led me to this bottom. First, let’s talk about meetings. For the past month or so, I’ve been doing to one meeting a week, unless I’m the speaker. Then I’d go to two meetings a week. You’d think that would count, but for me it doesn’t. Okay, so my meeting attendance is way down. Check. What’s next?
God. Now, God’s my Homie. I love God. I’m not ashamed to say that by any means. Lately, though, I’ve let a few things come between my relationship with God. I know that when I let my spiritual connection slip, some form of pain is headed my way.
What’s left on the checklist? Oh, right, carrying the message. Taking women through the steps has been a constant in my life. Lately, I’ve put it on the back burner. Because I’m so important, right? Welp, I’ve been slacking in that department as well.
Time for a quick recap on my checklist. How did I hit this emotional bottom in sobriety again?
– Slacking on meetings
– Slacking on God (including, but not limited to, praying, mediating, and self-inventory)
-Slacking on helping others
Let’s stop here. Three is more than enough. Clearly, not doing these three things has led to a bottom in sobriety. Trust me, it’s not fun! Being restless, irritable, and discontent are NOT qualities of life I enjoy. I become short-tempered, easily flustered, and annoyed at pretty much everyone in the world. Yep, the entire world.
I’m sure everyone reaches different types of sober bottoms and the characteristics that lead to them. I’m also sure that everyone reacts to sober bottoms differently. This is my experience though. This is how I reached a point where I’m miserable as f**k and stone cold sober.
Getting Out of That Pesky Bottom
So, now what? I’m here at bottom. Do I write a blog about it and tell other people how much it sucks be here? Well, that’s a start. I feel better seeing this on paper (or a computer screen) and realizing exactly how I ended up here. In fact, only fifteen minutes ago I was thinking, “sneaking bottom came out of nowhere!” Obviously, this isn’t the case. My bottom’s been coming for weeks due to my lack of action.
Now, I pray. I’m going to remind God I’m here and apologize for leaving again. After that, I’m going to a meeting. I need them, even when I think I don’t. I need them especially when I think I don’t. They’ve helped to keep me sane throughout all my years in sobriety. Last, but certainly not least, I’m going to work with another alcoholic. Not only is helping new women a bright spot in my life, but it instantly makes me feel better.
Hitting a bottom in sobriety is no fun (no s**t, you’re probably saying). Taking preventative measures is a MUCH easier route. Continue to do the things that got you sober in the first place. However, if you do end up resting on those old laurels, if you do end up slacking like me, just resume taking action! It’s that simple, I promise.