Written By: Fiona Stockard
Battling All The Suggestions in Early Sobriety
One of the hardest things that young women trying to get sober experience is following the suggestions given to them in early-sobriety. A lot of women think they don’t need to follow suggestions given to them by their therapists and sponsors. Sadly, the great majority of these women learn later that they were greatly misinformed.
Disagreeing with Suggestions Given In Early-Sobriety
In early-sobriety, when a suggestion is given that you don’t agree with, your decision to follow it (or not follow it!) shows a lot about where you’re at in recovery. In a way, this can be seen as a metaphor for whether or not you’ll be able to stay sober. Yes, you might call your sponsor. Yes, you might be working your steps. But what does it say about you and your recovery when you’re still doing everything your way?
I’ll Lie, Cheat, and Steal When I Want To!
We did everything our way, while we were getting high. We got high when we wanted to get high. We stole money when we needed money. We hurt people when we felt they’d hurt us. Early-recovery is about letting go of your ego. When you believe your way is the best way to do something, and ignore a suggestion, your ego is getting in the way. It takes a lot to admit that you might not know what’s best. When you’re in early-sobriety and someone who has a lot more experience than you, like your therapist, is telling you something, listen. They’re almost always right.
An Indication in Early-Sobriety of What’s To Come
I’m going to give you fine gals an example. I present to you Jane Doe. Jane has three months sober. She’s living in a halfway house. The general suggestion surrounding halfway houses is that you should make a six month commitment to live there. Jane decides she want’s to leave though. So, she talks to her therapist about it. Her therapist says, “Jane, don’t be an idiot. Finish your commitment!” Jane moves out the next day.
A healthy person would be able to see that staying another three months isn’t going to hurt them. In fact, it’ll probably be a positive experience. In early-sobriety it’s important not to take risks. When you learn to protect your sobriety, you also learn how to stay sober. People who take risks in early-sobriety usually don’t end up staying sober.
Yeah, sometimes they sucks, but what’s the big deal? The way we shape our program in that first year usually determines how our program is going to look down the road. Why pick up white-chip after white-chip? Once you work a strong program, you can take all the risks you want. The funny thing is when you get to this point taking risks usually doesn’t seem so appealing. Usually you’re happy with where you are and what you’ve accomplished.