by Sally Rosa | May 12, 2015 | 12 Steps, Addiction Articles
A Breakdown of the Steps!
By: Tim Myers
Step One:
“We admitted we were powerless over alcohol — that our lives had become unmanageable.”
For Dummies:
I can’t stop drinking and it’s impossible for me to do anything without messing up. I try to stop but next thing I know…bang. I’m hammered, my family hates me, and all my bills are over due.
Step Two:
“Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.”
For Dummies:
I thought for a long time and now I’m at the point where I’m so crazy that only God himself can make me a sane person again. I mean, I’m really bonkers at this point. I need Jesus or Buddha or Something.
Step Three:
“Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.”
For Dummies:
Threw my hands in the air and decided okay, I’m done. God take this drunk and messy body do with it whatever the heck you want. I don’t care, just make all my decisions for me, okay?
Step Four:
“Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.”
For Dummies:
Sat down, grabbed a pen or pencil, and made a list of all the stupid stuff I did, all the mean stuff I said. Just basically took a good look at all the crap I’d done and laid it all out in front of me. I’m feeling pretty crappy right now.
Step Five:
“Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.”
For Dummies:
FREEEEEEDOOOOOOM! So get this, I told another person all the stuff I did and now I feel grrrrrreat! I mean, I’m still a huge jerk and all, but man does it feel good to get that all out in the open. Booya!
Step Six:
“Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.”
For Dummies:
I’m a thief, a liar, a cheater, a liar, overly dramatic, entitled, and about twenty other things. God, I’m ready for you to take them all. Oh, and you can keep ‘em btw.
Step Seven:
“Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.”
For Dummies:
Told everyone how I talked to God and he took my character defects! Just kidding. In a non-flashy and quiet sort of way I talked to God and asked him take those defects. Oh, and I told him I don’t want ‘em back.
Step Eight:
“Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.”
For Dummies:
Jotted down probably the longest list ever of all the people I did horrible stuff to. Yeah, I was a pretty awful person.
Step Nine:
“Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.”
For Dummies:
Sat down and looked each person who I was awful to in the eye and said, “Man, it was soooooo bad when I did that to you! Tell me what it is that I can do to make this whole thing okay.”
Step Ten:
“Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.”
For Dummies:
Just about everyday I sit down and write down all the ways I was a jerk. Then, I go and fix it…again!
Step Eleven:
“Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.”
For Dummies:
Dear God, oh God, My God, I pray to thee, show me how to help other people oh God. Or somethin’ like that (Tim McGraw what’s up!).
Step Twelve:
“Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.”
For Dummies:
Repeat steps one to eleven with another messed up person and pretend you know what you’re doing.
by Fiona Stockard | May 7, 2015 | Addiction Articles, Sobriety For Women
By: Tim Myers
Dear Mom,
So, Happy Mother’s Day!
I started roaming around the malls looking for the best Mother’s Day present ever. I found some great slippers and a wicked cool candle that smelled like pumpkin pie, but nothing seemed to be good enough.
I mean, you’re pretty great Mom. A tube of socks or a tube of flowers just wouldn’t do the trick.
Seriously, what do you get the woman who shot you out in to the world? What do you get the woman who held your head so you little neck didn’t hurt? What do you get the woman who was there when you first walked, crawled, burped, pooped, and learned to whistle (not in that order!)?
What do you get the person who saw you strike out in little league and took you out for ice cream after the game? What do you get the person who saw try a cigarette for the first time and thought it was just a phase? What do you get the woman who found the beer can under your bed and thought it was just rebel kid stuff.
What kind of present do you get the mother who held you head above the toilet when you came home drunk for the first time? What is the perfect present for the lady who drove you home from middle school, high school, and college when you got suspended for being high at school?
Is there anything you can get a mother who pulled countless bottles of whisky out from under your bed and realized this is not a phase. What do you get for the mother you pushed? What do you get the woman your called an a*****e in a blackout? What could you give someone who held you head while you cried “I need help?”
Is there anything in this world that would be even close to give to the women who drove your to treatment? Who paid for your treatment. Who drove you back to treatment. Who paid for it again. Then drove you back again. Then paid again and again and again and again.
What gift could I give a mother that went to church every Sunday and asked God to save me? What could a mother be given that would be any sort of reward for ten plus years of endured pain. Does a gift like that exist? Is it out there?
What could I give my mother that would be a token of how wonderful a mother she is? How about One Sober Day?
This Mothers Day I will remain 100% completely sober, safe, and happy. Now, I plan on staying sober everyday ‘til then. I’ve got every intention of staying sober everyday after, but I can’t promise that. I can, however, promise you that on mother’s day this year you’ll get the only thing in this whole wide world that you want…
Me: sober, safe, and happy.
by Sally Rosa | May 5, 2015 | Addiction Articles, Recovery
By: Tim Myers
I Can’t Do What??
There are so many things in recovery that “they” say you should never ever do.
They say…
You shouldn’t be in a relationship until you have a year. You should never have Redbull. Never smoke or hang out at bars. You should never live by yourself or sleep around and never work too much or never work at all.
They say you should never take money from your parents. Never stay out too late. Never go to clubs or casinos or strips clubs. They say you should never be alone. Never be without a sponsor. Never miss a meeting. Never go to two meetings in a day. Never got to less than two meetings in a day. Never say recovered and never say recovering,
Never swear in a meeting. Never talk about AA at work and never talk about work at AA. Never say your last name. Never say anyone else’s last name. They tell us all the time that we should never put personalities before principals.
Never talk about a step unless we have worked it. They say to never leave the meeting until the Lord’s Prayer is over. Never text during the meeting. We should never be playing games during the meeting, whispering during the meeting, flirting during the meet, emailing during the meeting, Facebooking during the meeting, Instagraming, Googling, Yahooing, Pintersting, Youtubing, Myspacing, or Facetubing.
They say to never live far from your meetings. Never preach. Never quit. Never give up. Never stop sharing. Never stop sponsoring. Never judge. Never let yourself be judged. Never gossip. Never stray. Never walk out before the miracle happens.
Never promote. Never hit on a girl at a meeting. Never hit on a guy at a meeting. Never hit on a girl after a meeting. Never hit on a guy after a meeting.
Never bring in a dog. Never bring in a non-alcoholic to a closed meeting. Never bring in food or drink. Never put your feet on the chairs. Never leave the lights on. Never put nothing in the basket. Never sponsor ‘til you have one year. Never sponsor ‘til you have worked all twelve steps.
The say you should never take prescribed drugs. They say to never loan money. They say to never lie. Never cheat. They say to never steal. Never fight. Never hurt someone. Never post your recovery online. Never take a picture inside a meeting. Never force someone to a meeting. Never show up late. Never leave early.
They say never talk about coke in an AA meeting. They say never talk about heroin or needles in an AA meeting. They say never talk about pills in an AA meeting. They say never talk about acid or ‘shrooms in an AA meeting. They say never talk about weed or food in an AA meeting.
They say never have resentments. Never forget to call your sponsor. Never go to bed mad. Never forget to pray. They say never, never, never, never, never.
They say never drink.
That we all agree with.
That’s the one that matters most.
by Fiona Stockard | Apr 28, 2015 | Addiction Articles, Recovery
How Dangerous is Adderall?
Although this might seem like an obvious question with an obvious answer, stop and think about it for a second. Is Adderall as dangerous as the media has made it out to be?
Okay, you’re right, it is! Still, there seems to be this narrative around the drug that blogs, news stations, and newspapers have constructed. Adderall is demonized as “legal meth” or “meth-lite.” While these are true to an extent, there’s much more going on than meets the eye.
This is true of most aspects of life. It’s also especially true for women in recovery! So, lets take a closer look at what Adderall is, the dangers it presents, and the benefits it offers for those struggling with ADHD.
I’d also like to share my personal story of Adderall abuse and how it affected my addiction to drugs and my eating disorder.
What is Adderall?
For most people reading this, I don’t have to tell you what Adderall is. You know! Still, I think it’s important to understand exactly what a drug is before we start condemning it.
Adderall is a prescription drug that’s commonly given to individuals struggling with ADD, ADHD, and narcolepsy.
It’s also a central nervous system stimulant. Its generic name is simply “amphetamine,” though it’s actually made up of four amphetamine salts. These are amphetamine aspartate monohydrate, amphetamine sulfate, dextroamphetamine saccharate, and dextroamphetamine sulfate.
The above is a very important point! People often call Adderall legal meth. I know I’ve been guilty of using that name before! While legal meth has a catchy ring to it, it simply isn’t true. Adderall is an amphetamine, not methamphetamine.
Adderall Abuse: My Story
I abused Adderall throughout my teenage years. I bet most of you reading this can identify! Although I was never a full-fledged “Adderall addict,” I used it to control my weight and to catch a buzz.
See, like many other women in this world, I suffered from poor body image and an eating disorder. I’d take Adderall to keep from eating and to give myself energy (remember no food = no energy).
The first time I took Adderall, or Ritalin for that matter, I was fourteen. I’d started smoking and drinking two years earlier, and had been restricting for three. I remember the feeling that stimulants gave me was amazing. All of a sudden I didn’t care what other people thought of me (of course, I really did but I FELT invincible).
Over the next five years my addiction and eating disorder got worse and worse. I didn’t use Adderall much after I discovered other drugs. Still, whenever I needed a quick boost, this was my go to drug.
After getting sober, my thoughts began to return to Adderall. I was trying my best to live a spiritual way of life, but I was scared! I was scared of my weight, of what others thought of me, and of what boys would think of me. I was scared of everything!
Thankfully, I didn’t pick up a drug. I came close a couple of times though. I’d rationalize that Adderall was harmless because I wouldn’t use it to get high. I’d be using it to lose weight. Of course, that’s just as damaging. Plus, we all know that after we take one…we don’t stop.
Dangers of Adderall
The above is the real danger, I believe, of Adderall. The drug itself is dangerous, after all it is an amphetamine. Still, the idea that Adderall somehow isn’t as dangerous as other drugs makes it even more dangerous!
Addicts and alcoholics can be lulled into a false sense of comfort by our sick thinking. We can justify and rationalize everything and taking Adderall in recovery is no exception.
That’s where we run into trouble. Thinking that a prescription drug is somehow safer than a street drug is simply wrong! This is true of prescription painkillers, Adderall, benzo’s, or any of the hundreds of other controlled medications.
Is Adderall a Relapse?
Well, is it? The short answer is of course! Remember what I said above about there being more going on than meets the eye? This is a perfect example. In some cases, some rare cases, it’s okay to take Adderall in sobriety.
I’m talking, of course, about taking Adderall for a medical condition. Now there’s a very important caveat here. You need to take it as prescribed and only after consulting with a doctor, your sponsor, and a Higher Power.
It’s also important to check your intentions. Do you want to take Adderall for legitimate reasons, i.e. for a medical condition? Or are you trying to push the limits of your sobriety, i.e. having a freelapse?
If you’ve done all of the above, and have a doctor’s approval to take Adderall, then it’s okay. If not, then don’t take it!
What do you all think? Let us know on social media!
by Sally Rosa | Apr 21, 2015 | 12 Steps, Addiction Articles
Happy 76th Birthday!
image via Wikipedia
Just a few days ago, April 10th to be exact, the Big Book celebrated its 76th birthday!
How cool is that? One of the most influential books of all time (if I do say so myself!) has been around for over seventy-five years. It’s helped millions of alcoholics recover from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body. It’s restored families, saved marriages, and offered hope to so many people.
The Big Book is my favorite book and that’s coming from someone who LOVES books. I started and finished The Bell Jar this week and it’s only Thursday! Still, no other book compares to the Big Book. Perhaps that’s because no other book has literally saved my life (although a few have impacted me pretty substantially).
Anyway, that’s just my personal opinion of the book. Guess what? It’s gotten all sorts of other accolades over its seventy-six years! A quick Google search turns up some interesting details:
- The Big Book is one of the best selling books of all time. It’s thought to hover right around the 50th place mark. It’s sold, in total, over 30 million copies (yes, I said million!)
- The Big Book is included in Time’s list of the 100 most influential books of all time
- The Big Book was recognized by the United State’s Library of Congress as one of the eighty-eight “books that shaped America”
- Early after its release, one reviewer called the Big Book “the greatest redemptive force of the twentieth century.” The New York Times said the book was unlike any other book ever published. Another reviewer “called the book extraordinary and stated that it deserved the attention of anyone worried about the problem of alcoholism.”
And that’s just what a quick search turned up! Yeah, it’s safe to say the Big Book is one-of-a-kind and has changed addiction treatment forever.
How the Big Book Changed America
That’s a bold claim, right? Saying that the Big Book changed America isn’t just a statement. It’s a declaration and it needs to be backed up with fact. Well, guess what? It did change America.
The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous changed how America views and treats alcoholism and addiction. Before that fateful day in April of 1939, alcoholism was thought of in the same way it had been for hundreds of years. That is to say, alcoholism was viewed as shameful secret, a moral problem, and a personal failure.
Around the time AA was founded in 1935, doctors all over the country were starting to measure alcoholism by scientific, rather than moral, standards. The Big Book is an example of the right thing at the right time. Its publication coincided with an increasingly medical and scientific view of the disease of alcoholism (emphasis on the word disease).
After April 10th, 1939, alcoholism and addiction as a disease began to be widely accepted. Certainly this wasn’t only because of the book, but it galvanized thousands, and eventually millions, of people to see alcoholism in a whole new light.
Equally as important as the Big Book changing the paradigm of alcoholism treatment, is how it changed that paradigm. Remember, those in the medical community were already starting to think of alcoholism as a disease, but what about normal women and men? What about the wife up the street with an alcoholic husband? What about the store clerk with an alcoholic wife? What about the worried parents with an alcoholic child?
The Big Book spoke to these people directly. It used simple, everyday language to explain complex ideas. It spoke of spirituality in a way that made even the most agnostic or atheist person say, “Well, maybe they’re right.” It tackled issues of guilt, shame, remorse, sex, lies, and so much more with grace and dignity. In short, it gave a human touch to alcoholism.
Let’s all take a moment to be thankful it did. If the Big Book wasn’t written, well, I wouldn’t be typing these words. I’m willing to bet you wouldn’t be reading them. I’m indebted to this book and, of course, to Bill Wilson and Dr. Bob. It’s with the deepest respect that I take off my metaphorical hat and say Happy Birthday!
