by Sally Rosa | Feb 19, 2015 | Addiction Articles, Drug Addiction
By Tim Myers
All right stop, stealing stuff and listen
I’m gonna tell you about an old invention
Something that took a hold of me tightly
Saved my life and I go to them nightly
Will AA ever stop? Hell no
They turned on my lights now I glow
To the extreme I’m a sober man not a vandal
I light up the world and wax drugs like a candle
Damn drugs made my car go boom
I used eat those poisonous mushrooms
I was deadly when I played dope like a melody
All I had left was a shiny new felony
Don’t love it, just leave it and stay away
You better do sometin’ get help today
You definitely have a problem, yo I’ll solve it
Change you life before drugs dissolve it!
Get help now baby, get help now baby
Get help now baby, get help now baby
Now that your jail cell is jumpin’
With the hand cuffs on your heart be pumpin’
Lets get to the point, to the point stop faking
Your brain is fried like a pound of bacon
Burning it quick, quick and nimble
Get help now it’s really that simple
Let us help you out, and change the tempo
Your way didn’t work, you tried it solo
Rollin, cops said lets go
You can’t steal stuff and you can’t do blow
Recovery’s on stand by, trying to say hi
Do you ever stop? No you just drive by
Kept on using till the next stop
You get busted and head to the cellblock
You definitely have a problem, yo I’ll solve it
Change your life before drugs dissolve it!
Get help now baby, get help now baby
Get help now baby, get help now baby
Take heed, ’cause I’m a recovery poet
the cops on the scene just in case you didn’t know it
My town is full of the sober sound
Enough to shake the drugs and get on firm ground
‘Cause recovery’s like a chemical spill
it will give you vision and teach you to feel
Keep your composure when you finally get loose
get Magnetized by God and you’ll kick the juice
You definitely have a problem, yo I’ll solve it
Change your life before drugs dissolve it!
Get help now baby, get help now baby
Get help now baby, get help now baby
Yo, man, let’s get out of here! Word to your mother!
No really you should send word to your actual mother.
Write her a letter and tell her you need help.
Get help now baby, get help now baby
Get help now baby, get help now baby
Get help now baby, right now, right now.
Get help now baby, right now, right now.
Get help now baby, get help now baby
by A Women in Sobriety | Feb 11, 2015 | Addiction Articles, Sobriety For Women
Why Should I Go to Women’s Meetings?
While I could write an entire article about women’s meetings (and this is that article!), the main benefit of attending a female only twelve-step meeting is simple and obvious – less distraction!
Simply put, boys distract us from seeking God. They distract us from working on ourselves. They distract us from seeking and implementing spiritual principles in our lives. Basically, boys distract us!
And it’s not only their fault! I’m certainly at fault here. I’d much rather talk to a cute guy than listen to reasons prayer is so vital. I’d much rather daydream about that surfer boy sitting in front of me than learn why resentments are the number one offender.
Plus, I think it’s the same for men. While I can’t be 100% sure, I’m pretty certain they’re the same way. After all, wouldn’t a guy rather flirt with me (!) than work on himself? Wouldn’t a guy rather flirt with any woman than taking a look at himself?
Guys – if you’re reading this, weigh in!
So, why should we go to women’s only meetings? First off, to learn what sobriety’s really about! Gender-specific meetings offer a few other benefits too. Find out what they are below!
Strong Sober Supports
Yes, men can be sober supports. I know my phone is full of guy’s numbers, strictly platonic, that I can call at anytime of the day if I need help. Still, for me, having guys as sober supports isn’t as good as having women.
So, at women’s only meetings, we can build strong sober supports. We make friendships that can last for the rest of our lives. We meet women who, through the miraculous workings of a God of our own understanding, have been through the exact same situations as us.
I know the first time I heard a women share something that had happened to me, that I thought I was alone in dealing with, my jaw hit the ground. I was shocked. Was she reading my mind? Nope. It turns out that alcoholics are pretty similar.
Side bar – that woman who shared my exact experience? She ended up being my first sponsor. God is good, my friends.
A Space for Victims of Abuse
Emotional, physical, and sexual abuse aren’t uncommon for women in recovery. I now I’ve certainly experienced them firsthand. So, for women in early-sobriety and beyond to have a safe space is absolutely vital.
Going to women’s only meetings provides this much needed space of safety and security.
We Can Share Openly
Imagine if you started to share about something personal, and when I say personal I mean personal, and you saw a boy making eyes at you from across the room! That wouldn’t be cool! It would make me feel uncomfortable, embarrassed, and like I couldn’t share openly.
Here, we reach one of the main reasons that we need female only meetings – they offer the privacy to share openly and honestly. The entire twelve-step recovery foundation is based on honesty. It’s the spiritual principle behind the first step!
So, imagine if we couldn’t speak honestly! It would stink. Thankfully, we have women’s meetings. For those of you lucky enough to be located in a “recovery hotspot” like south Florida, you even have hundreds of women’s meetings a day!
And that, my friends, is pretty priceless!
by Sally Rosa | Feb 9, 2015 | Addiction Articles, Recovery
Relapse Isn’t Mandatory
I recently stumbled across an amazing article on Huffington Post. It was an examination of relapse, recovery, and how normalizing relapse doesn’t benefit anyone – addict or family.
The author, Candace Plattor, is a clinical counselor and an individual in long-term recovery. She’s been sober for over twenty-seven years! That’s pretty impressive! She’s been sober for longer than I’ve been alive! Rock on, Candace!
I found her essay moving because it speaks to something that any woman, or any man for that matter, in recovery can attest to – the prevalence of relapse and the increasingly relaxed attitude surrounding it.
Now don’t get me wrong, relapse happens and we should treat those who slip with love and compassion. Lord knows I’ve relapsed before. If those in recovery hadn’t reached out and offered me a hand back up, I don’t know if I’d be here today.
That being said, I think Candace makes some good points. I think she’s offering a new way of thinking (which is really a throwback to an old way!) about relapse, recovery, and the struggle to stay sober one day at a time.
The Power of Willingness
One of the first points Candace makes, and something I’ve experienced firsthand, is that we need a great deal of willingness to get and stay sober. I can attest this is absolutely true! What’s more, I bet most of you reading can attest to the same thing.
I needed the willingness to check myself into treatment. I needed the willingness to get a sponsor. I needed the willingness to work the twelve-steps honestly and thoroughly. I needed the willingness to face my issues and work on them. I needed the willingness for a million other things as well.
Candace writes, “A huge part of that choice to get help and stay in recovery was that I had to be willing to learn how to face a life that wasn’t very pleasant without the use of mind-altering drugs” (Huffington Post).
That willingness didn’t come easy! It was only when everything else, including drugs and booze, had stopped working that I found it. I know I lacked any level of willingness in some of my halfhearted early attempts at sobriety.
Guess what happened during those attempts? I relapsed. I returned to opiates and alcohol because I wasn’t willing to do the work. I wasn’t willing to face the pain. Were my relapses required, though? Were they necessary parts of my sobriety?
Absolutely not!
Sobriety Isn’t Easy but It Isn’t Impossible
Another point that Candace touches on is how sobriety can oftentimes be incredibly difficult. Once again, raise your hand if you’ve experienced that yourself. Everyone’s hand is up? That’s what I thought!
While Candace struggles with Crohn’s Disease, I’ve struggled with mental health issues like anxiety and depression. I think any alcoholic, if they take a moment to reflect, can come up with a handful of serious issues they’ve struggled with in sobriety.
Now, oftentimes these struggles can be easy excuses for relapse. They can be an easy way to avoid facing the pain mentioned above. Fortunately, they don’t have to be.
Candace writes,
“That was an amazingly difficult time in my life, but the inner strength and self-respect I gained from that experience…have made me the person I am today, a person who’s proud of herself and knows she can handle the tough times. I’m grateful for that, and I’d love it if we could all feel that way about ourselves” (Huffington Post).
I love that! It’s so true that we gain strength, faith, and inner-love from facing and overcoming the challenges of life. It’s sort of like that saying “if you want self-esteem, do esteem-able acts.” If you want inner-strength, flex your God-muscle and face your demons!
Relapse is a Choice
Something I personally tend to forget is the simple fact that, for someone who’s gone through the steps, relapse is a choice. It’s nothing more and nothing less. For someone who’s had the obsession to drug and drink removed, picking up a drug or a drink is a conscious choice.
In her essay, Candace touches on this. She says,
“It’s absolutely up to the addict, whichever way they go in terms of staying abstinent or not — millions of clean and sober addicts show us every day that relapse is NOT a normal, expected part of recovery…” (Huffington Post).
Now, it’s important to remember this isn’t true for women who haven’t had the obsession removed! In early-sobriety, relapse often happens because the mental obsession returns and we have to drink. It’s not a choice, but rather a manifestation of the “strange mental blank spots” the book talks about.
Once we’ve gone through the steps, though, and had a spiritual awakening, relapse becomes 100% a choice. It’s at this point that personal responsibility and culpability enter the picture. It’s at this point that being of service to those who need it becomes of the utmost importance!
What do you think about relapse not being a required part of recovery? Let us know on social media!
by Fiona Stockard | Feb 6, 2015 | Addiction Articles, Recovery
Is AA a Cult?
Before getting sober, I wanted nothing to do with Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, or any other twelve-step fellowship. I was convinced meetings were some sort of cult ritual and everyone in the rooms was a brainwashed zombie. Of course, this couldn’t be further from the truth!
Still, I’ve heard this complaint come up time and time again. Before entering the rooms of recovery, most addicts and alcoholics don’t think very highly of twelve-step principles. And why should they? Twelve-step principles are a complete one hundred and eighty degrees from how we live our lives in active addiction.
There are a million and a half reasons addicts and alcoholics think AA is a cult. I’ll explore some common myths, and why they’re completely false, below. First, though, I’d like to make the bold declaration that twelve-step recovery saved my life. More importantly, it gave me a life that’s so amazing, so indescribably wonderful, that sometimes I have to pinch myself to make sure I’m not dreaming.
That should be enough to make anyone give meetings a chance. If it isn’t, well, keep on reading!
I Have to Go to Meetings Forever?
Those still in active addiction tend to make this a huge sticking point. I know I did. I was convinced that going to meetings forever was the worst possible thing that could happen to me.
Here’s a newsflash – you don’t have to go to meetings forever! You only have to go to one meeting a day. I’m living my life one day at a time. I have no idea if I’ll go to meetings in twenty years, but I do know I’m going to one tonight.
Plus, I’ll let you all in on this little secret that people with long-term sobriety don’t like to share. Are you ready? Going to meetings rocks! Where else can I share the most off the wall stuff and have people clap for me and love me?
I Have to Believe in God?
No, you don’t have to believe in God. In fact, you don’t have to believe in anything you don’t want to.
However, if you want to stay sober, you should probably talk to some AA members about a Higher Power. You’ll soon learn that a Higher Power can be absolutely anything you want it to be.
So, find something you’re comfortable with like nature or the ocean. That’s your Higher Power right there. Pretty easy, right?
People in AA are Weirdly Happy All the Time
Yeah, of course people in twelve-step groups are happy all the time! We’ve been saved from death and active alcoholism. We’ve been saved from a life that isn’t a life at all. We’ve gone from existing to living.
Wouldn’t you be happy if those things happened to you? No, we’re not weirdly happy because we’re in a cult. We’re weirdly happy because our lives are amazing. You should try it out sometime.
Isn’t Sober Life Boring?
Want to know some of thoughts about sober life from before I got sober? They went something like – “Oh man, how will I be able to live without going to parties?” or “I can’t imagine talking to boys without drinking a little first.”
I thought that drugs and alcohol made life exciting. They replaced the fear inside of me with false confidence. With this false confidence, I thought life was exciting.
It turns out that life was actually pretty boring. I mean, you tell me which of the following is more exciting. Going kayaking in the ocean with a few good friends or sitting in a room, smoking weed, and watching Comedy Central for eight hours?
Go ahead, which is more exciting? That’s what I thought.
by Sally Rosa | Feb 5, 2015 | Addiction Articles, Recovery
A Poem For Those Struggling
I found this wonderful poem floating around the internet the other day. I wanted to share it with all you amazing women recovering from a hopeless state of mind and body.
Together, we are enough. Together, I am enough.
I Am Enough
I am enough to make it
Through the night. I am enough
To make it through the day.
No matter my struggles
And I have many struggles
I know I’ll be OK.
I don’t give in, I believe and have faith.
I am enough.
You are enough to make it
Through anything. You are enough
To live through anything.
You don’t have to be perfect
And it doesn’t matter if you are smart
Just open your eyes and open your heart.
Find the strength and peace
That we have inside our chests.
Believe that it will stay there
Until your very last breath.
You are enough.
We are enough to make it
Through the highs and make it
Through the lows. We are enough
To make it through the dark sky
And the nights when tears fly.
Don’t give up I promise you
It gets better
and our dreams come true.
We are enough.
I am enough to make it
Through drugs, heartbreak and pain.
I am enough to make it
Through the cold and pouring rain.
I am enough to make it
Through anything with you my friend.
I am enough to make it
Because this is only the beginning it isn’t the end.
–Author Unknown
