by Sally Rosa | Jul 19, 2017 | Addiction Articles, Blog, Sobriety For Women
It took me 9 years to graduate college. I attended 9 rehabs and 3 colleges. I have a bachelors degree in music business, I write TV commercials for a living, have been sober 3.5 years and I completed all 12 steps. My college graduation party was attended by myself, and a bar tender. The cocaine, alcohol and weed were funded by money I swindled out of an inheritance my grandfather left me when he died. I messed up the college experience, then fixed it, messed it up again, scooted to the finish line and I’m still around to reflect on every moment. So, Yeah, I am very qualified to give you 10 tips on how to succeed in college.
10. Don’t take your self too seriously
Guess what, if your not going to be a doctor or a lawyer or really good scientist or something, it doesn’t matter how good your grades are. It’s true! Don’t get so stressed out! It’s not a big deal. Do your best, but at the same time don’t become one of those kids who base their entire self worth upon a letter grade. During a job interview they do not ask what your GPA was, most don’t care, they care about whether or not you have a degree and if you can do the job. Period. So do not let your self get so damn stressed out that you turn to drugs or an eating disorder to calm the storm of your own heightened expectations. Chill out, it’s only college!
9. Use a condom
This is non-negotiable. Ok, you don’t have to “wear” one but you better make sure that Jimmy has a condom on his Jimmy. You will have plenty of time for unprotected sex in the future, but this is not that time. Try making it to class with baby Bjorn strapped around you neck. What is a baby Bjorn? I have no idea, but I know I don’t want one hanging from me while I’m getting ready for a tailgate party or when I’m pedaling my butt off trying to get to my chemistry mid-term.
8. Get a Hobby
You’re gonna need something to distract you from the boring stress of school. Here are the hobbies I chose, drinking, snorting ritalin, snorting cocaine, eating mushrooms, smoking pot, drinking mushroom tea, drinking some more, having sex and smoking pot. Chose something different. Join an intramural sport, act in a play, go running, hiking, start your own video game league! You’ll meet friends, you’ll have fun and you’ll be waaay more motivated to study hard. Endorphins that are release through laughter and exercise are far more constructive to concentration and work ethic than the false emotions and feeling associated with chemicals.
7. Get a part time job
The number one thing every college kid complains of is money. They have none. But you, part time job college kid have money from your 20 hours at black jack pizza making you…the campus millionaire. This alleviates stress, creates a sense of purpose, provides structure and is another area of learning. The student who works during school WILL BE miles ahead of all the others who are to lazy to fend for them selves.
6. Call your Mom and Dad once a week
Not once a day, or once a month, once a week. This will make them feel better. This will make them feel like there money is being well spent. Parents get nervous, mine did all 9 years. First of all it’s respectful, they raised you, gave you life. The least you could do is let them know you haven’t been shot. Also it will help ground you. It will help bring things back in to perspective. Also parents have been there before. You might think you get great advice from Bubba the pothead, but trust me parents know what they are talking about.
5. Don’t Dink and Drive
If you drive drunk you will get caught. You may kill someone. It is much harder to get good grades in cellblock B than it is to get good grades sharing a dorm room with a girl who doesn’t shower. Also that fancy degree will be much harder to pay off when you can’t get a job because you have a felony on your record. One more little unknown tip, you can get a ticket for Biking while intoxicated, yes mountain biking while drunk. You can also get one for riding a razor scooter and roller blading while smashed trust me I got my BUI, SUI and ROI in the same month.
4. Go to class everyday
97.45% of students who go to class everyday finish school in four years. Yes I made that up, but it’s true that if you commit to never missing a class it will be pretty damn hard to fail. Plus it will prepare you for the daily grind of a real job. Also, say you get in a jam and you need some extra time on a paper or you need a few extra points, the teacher who sees you everyday is the teacher who will help you out.
3. Do not do any drugs.
Don’t do it, don’t think about it. Don’t take Ritalin; ADD is a fake disease that smart phones cured back in 2005. Do not do coke, take pills, LSD..no… nothing. Drugs can turn the kid who has zero history of addiction in to a full-blown addict. Drugs change your body, your brain and your life. Listen I’ve tried ‘em all so I’m not some born again preacher talking about stuff I haven’t done. I did them and I can tell you that you should not. There is absolutely nothing to be gained form doing hard drugs. Not one moment, or one friend or one feeling is worth it.
2. Don’t move in with the person you’re banging.
If you follow tip number 9 this shouldn’t be a problem. Ok, you may love him but you can move in with him the day you graduate but not a minute before. This only causes problems. You’ll be unfocused; you’ll have no alone time and your chances of getting her pregnant drastically increase. Condoms can break and so can your resolve to use them all the time. You are not at college to get married. You are at college to get a degree, have fun and get out. I moved in with a guy, I hated him. You will too. This goes back to tip number 10. All I’m saying is spend this time educating your self on what type of person you want to be with. Get to know people. Talk to them, laugh with them, be yourself. Moving in with the person your banging takes you entire college experience and reduces it to a trivial, self-defeating bad soap opera.
1. Don’t drink period.
by A Women in Sobriety | Jul 12, 2017 | Addiction Articles, Recovery
Almost Like a Sponsor
My dog keeps me sober. Or I guess you could say he helps. He doesn’t go to meetings, he doesn’t have a sponsor and he has never worked a step. When he talks I can’t understand a single thing he says. He is very good at listening. I can say things to him that I cannot say to another human being and when I’m done I feel so much better because at least I’m not holding on to it any more. If I want to sleep in I can’t because he needs to go out. If I want to skip work I can’t because I need to make money to pay for the massive amount of dog food I have to buy. I feed him twice a day, walk him 3 times and play with him as much as I can. He has a pretty tight schedule so, now I do too.
On Task
He keeps on task, on time and on point. He brings a rigidity and structure to my life that I have never had before. Wanna stay out late? Can’t he needs me. Wanna blow out of town for Vegas? Can’t he needs me. My dog in a way makes sure I am every where I need to be when I need to be there, you see… he needs me.
Mood Stabilizer
I need him too. When I’m sad, depressed and worn out, he’s there. He thinks everything is cool and funny and he picks me up when I’m down. Wanna meet chicks? Wanna meet friends? He’s great for that. Feel like rushing into a relationship because you’re lonely? Don’t bother you’ve got you dog like I’ve got mine. There is always something to do with him and he always wants to do something. Boredom, isolation, fear haven’t seen them since I got my dog.
Interpersonal Relationship
I’ve been a part of his life since he was 3 months old. I have seen him grow, develop, change, fall, get back up, learn, smile and poop. He’s seen me grow, develop, change, fall, get back up, learn, smile and poop. I’ve been worried about him and he has worried about me. I have taken care of him and he has taken care of me. I give 100% for him expecting nothing in return. Well I expect that he won’t bite me. He gives 100% to me expecting nothing in return. Well, he expects treats.
More than Most in Recovery
My dog has never been to a meeting and has no idea that I am an alcoholic yet he has helped me more than a lot of people in my recovery have. Many people in recovery have helped me get to where I am today, but man have hurt me as well and yes, I have hurt people too, But my dog hasn’t. He has steered me toward the right direction every single day. He has never faltered and he never will. He loves me for me and through this relationship I have learned how to treat people better and I have learned the meaning of friendship. My Dog has never seen me drunk and as long as I have God, AA and a dog… he never will.
by A Women in Sobriety | Jul 3, 2017 | 12 Steps, Addiction Articles, Blog
Drug Addiction is Tragic
When my best friend died I was 16 years old. I wish I could say it was from some random act of God that came out of no where, maybe that would help me sleep better at night or something. I wish I could say that we all saw it coming and had plenty of time to prepare emotionally for what was about to come, all of the guilt and pain that would haunt me for years. That is not her story.
Her story is a different type of tragedy. Her story begins like most others. It begins with a normal childhood with two very loving parents who provided her the world and entry into private school for academic purposes. Growing up she was always well liked and had many friends. I met her one-day in 7th grade in the lunchroom after gym class where we both talked about how we wanted to marry Brad. He was a total babe and the cutest boy in our grade; we also talked about his girlfriend Jessica and how she was the worst person on earth (for no other reason than just dating Brad of course.) We were best friends from that day on and inseparable.
Drugs Arn’t Fun
Fast forward a few years we were entering high school. Now if you can relate, going into high school was one of the most exciting and scary things a young teenager can imagine. We came we saw we conquered. Within the first few weeks’ high school was like a real life version of the movie Mean Girls. We were sitting at the lunch tables with the older crowd and being invited out to parties on the weekend with the guys from the upper grades. These events were the first time in our lives we had to lie to our parents about where we were going. The good ole sleepover routine worked like a charm. These parties over time are where both her and I learned to drink and appreciate the effects of alcohol.
Sophomore year, at a party one of the seniors had some drugs on him. He said they were pills he got from a doctor due to hurting his knee from soccer practice a few weeks ago. He said if you snort them while drinking they are “a lot of fun.” That is a direct quote. I will never forget that. I felt uneasy about putting anything up my nose nevertheless some crushed up random pill this guy had on a table with a gross one-dollar bill. I respectfully declined the offer, thinking my best friend, the Carrie to my Samantha (She always wanted to be Carrie) would follow suite. However, she did not. She stayed. She picked up that disgusting one-dollar bill and put it up her nose and snorted that random pill, this guy claimed would be “fun.” I spent the next hour in the bathroom with her while she puked. No fun to me. Lesson learned at least.
However, as the weeks went on, my best friend began to hang out with that guy more. I began to notice a change in her I did not understand at the time. Within a few months she was a totally different person. She was not showing up for class and would constantly ignore me. At the time, I was hurt but assumed it was due to her being in a relationship. I did not know that my best friend was addicted to opiates.
Calling Out Your friend Isn’t Easy
On May 9th, I called her after school to confront her and we got into a huge fight. You know looking back, in all of the years of our friendship we never fought, even as two young girls growing up we just never had that type of relationship. Unfortunately the call ended with some curse words and me hanging up the phone on her. I have regretted that call every single day since. On the next evening, May 10th her parents called me to say they found her dead in her childhood bathroom. She had a needle in her arm. I was in shock. A needle? They demanded answers from me as if I was hiding information from them, and called my parents.
I did not know my best friend was a heroin addict. I had no idea at that age that snorting some random pill could lead to full blown addiction, nevertheless heroin addiction in such a short amount of time. I had no clue teenagers even got hooked on heroin, at least not where I live. I was wrong.
Looking back I wish I would have handled so many things differently: the party, when my friend starting acting different, that phone call. I have immense guilt, shame and pain over this that has been difficult to let go of even after all of these years. I hope that people understand that addiction does not care who you are, where you are, what you know or how many people love you.
It can take someone over in the blink of an eye. Speak up and do not be silent as I was.
by A Women in Sobriety | Jun 28, 2017 | Addiction Articles, Addiction Treatment, Blog
South Florida Drug Rehab saved my life.
This is not fake news. I was 20 years old and in the grip of a deadly opiate and alcohol addiction. I had tried to get sober in my hometown while still in college, attending an intensive outpatient program to try to stay sober and please the people around me. The problem? It did not work.
I would go to school and see all the students on campus drinking beer and guess what I would do? Drink with them. I would go to work and the strangest thing would happen there too. My co-worker would sell me pills. Shucks! Not today sobriety!
At the age of 20, I could not muster up the internal motivational and self-will to stay sober through one single day of school without drinking alcohol on campus, or one single day without buying opiates and using drugs at work. I was in a tough pickle.
People, Places, and Things
How does someone stay sober in his or her hometown without going to another location for rehab? I had attempted to do an intensive outpatient program, but since I had no accountability, I stopped after the first few sessions, plus I could never pass those stupid drug tests, which always made the drug addiction seem so real and undeniable. I was stuck in a vicious cycle. Every night I would go to bed and promise I would stop using tomorrow. Tomorrow would come and I would not be able to stop using, because I did not feel good and I could not overcome my mental obsession once I hit the school campus or my work parking lot.
In my hometown, I was surrounded by people who enabled me. I wanted every single day more than anything to just stop using drugs and alcohol.
One day I decided to call and make an appointment to see my private therapist and admit I was ready to get back into intensive outpatient programming. After a 30-minute session, he looked at me and stared for what seemed like forever. “Take this card” he said to me, as he leaned forward in his old leather chair.
I was told that day if I wanted a real shot at saving my life, I had to take some time to accomplish that for myself, which for me meant leaving the place I was creating the destruction. The card he handed me was for a Drug Rehab in South Florida and had a phone number on it. I left his office and sat in my car alone crying and smoking a cigarette before having the courage to pick up the phone and dial the number.
A Leap of Faith
A gentleman answered and spoke to me for a while. I told him what was going on in my life and that it was suggested to me that my best chance of success was to go to this program. He told me everything would be okay and we formed a plan together on how leaving school, my home, my life, my entire world would work for the next month and just encouraged me to not forget how long it took me to get to this moment on this call.
He was right. I was 20 years old. I was heavily addicted to prescription pills, heroin and alcohol for the last several years and this was my first real attempt at seeking help.
A few days later my parents dropped me off at the Drug Rehab in South Florida, and yes stereotypes are true it was near the beach. When my parents went to leave I told them I changed my mind and went to follow them to the car, which they sped out of the parking lot. I was now officially stuck in South Florida seeking Treatment for my drug and alcohol addiction. First week was a fog I was detoxing pretty hard.
The next few weeks in treatment I did some great work and learned a lot. There was a huge problem though. I was going to go right back to my house in college with my roommates who drink and party every night, to the same job, the same college campus, the same life. I worked so hard the last few weeks to get away from that in South Florida and now I was scared too go backwards.
Changing My Life Forever
I made an executive decision that changed my life forever. I decided to stay and go to a sober home in South Florida that the treatment center recommended. They charged me rent and no, my insurance did not make it free. I got out of drug rehab and started going to 12 step meetings and realized that young people actually got sober, something I did not know happened.
I was 20 years old in rehab for opiate addiction and the closest woman my age was 35. My first day out of treatment I went to an AA meeting at night that had over 75 young people in it.
I learned how to have sober fun. I learned how to be responsible. I learned how to be a productive member of society and how to show up for my family.
I made a lot of friends in recovery over the years as a result of South Florida and the recovery community. I also have had to bury more people than I can even remember. 8 years later I am still sober, and have only been to drug rehab once.
Grateful for South Florida Recovery
I am 28 years old today and sometimes I log into Facebook and I have to pause in remembrance at all of the people I once knew who have died as a result of drug and alcohol addiction who did not get it.
The South Florida Recovery Community saved my life in a profound way and hundreds of close friends of mine. Yes, I have hundreds of friends in recovery I have met over the years in the area who have done amazing things.
Some people move back home after they complete drug rehab and some after a few months. Not every story is just like mine and unfortunately not all stories have happy endings. However, addiction is a treatable disease. The family has the ability to intervene. The addict has the ability to not go to a facility they know does not have their best interest in mind.
I will always be grateful for what I learned growing up in Delray Beach, Florida and the impact the community had on my life. I wish other providers; parents, media, and communities understood these types of untold stories, which do not make for juicy headlines.
Success from addiction is possible and that South Florida saved my life.
by A Women in Sobriety | Jun 13, 2017 | Addiction Articles, Addiction Treatment, Sobriety For Women
Someone is Missing 100k and Caroline Biden Supposedly Took It
Rumor has it Caroline Biden pled guilty to grand larceny for stealing over $100,000.00 from an unnamed victim in credit card fraud. There are many questions about this case that remain unclear to the public. Concerns such as how Bigelow Pharmacy in New York, where the alleged crime was committed, allowed over a year of charges to go on a credit card that was under another person’s name or how such high charges could be racked up unnoticed.
A Simple Billing Process Might be to Blame
Upon reaching out to the pharmacy itself to ask how the billing process worked, a pharmacy technician of the store advised how simple the process was. “We take the credit number and put it into the computer. Whenever there is a purchase within the store we bill it to the credit card on file.” When asked if there needs to be any sort of document filled out or authorization for a credit card to be on file for the company to process charges on the card, the employee of the store stated, “no, we just need the credit card number only and we process it.” When asked if there was a receipt emailed to the owner of the credit card or any confirmation of purchases, the store advised there was nothing in place for that. For an organization who claims on it’s website that it has been in existence since 1838, there seems to be a high level of risk associated in their level of consumer responsibility in terms of their current billing processes.
Biden Didn’t Mean To Do It
Biden’s attorney could not be reached for comment on the particulars of this case, however it has been reported that Biden’s intent was never to defraud her un-named victim and that the charges were put on the credit card on file by mistake.
Additional speculation has circulated regarding the victim of the case, and many are left scratching their heads and wondering how someone could not have noticed so many transactions being processed without their consent for a calendar year.
Also, most credit card companies have time restrictions in which they will honor credit card disputes. Considering how long this “scheme” was going on, it seems that the un-named friend of Biden might have been hard pressed to receive any of her money back from her credit card company due to being outside the scope of timing filings.
The money was reportedly paid right after the plea deal, which poses the question if this scam was in fact done with intent, and financial resources were readily available, why do it? Biden allegedly even used the card on file to pay for medicine prescribed by a physician at the pharmacy. This does not seem like a well thought out scam.
There is More to The Story than Reported
The facts of this #LockBidenUp story seem to be a little more grey than most of the news outlets are portraying. Caroline Biden made news headlines originally in 2013, when she was arrested on charges stemming from drug and alcohol addiction. She was ordered to complete an inpatient drug treatment program and 90 day sober living program, which she completed successfully sources confirm. Biden has stayed out of the public eye since her arrest and has also remained clean and sober. She has remained sober since completing probation sources confirm.
It has been proven in no court document that she has ever attempted to use her “Uncle Joe” as a “get out of jail free card” instead it is clear she took full responsibility for her actions by confirming she,” should have paid more attention to her finances and caught these mistakes sooner.” Many things were against Biden walking into the courtroom, including her prior arrests. A public knowledge of drug addiction mixed with a juicy headline might have been the source of this judgment call by the Biden attorney and the extremely light consequence. However, is it fair? This is just one example of how long do we allow the past to dictate someone’s future?
The Impact of Addiction
Everyday more articles are written, stories are broadcast and families are left broken from the impact of addiction. We want to spread hope as a society that recovery is possible and that there is a better life, yet we jump to conclusions based on someone’s prior drug arrest or criminal record.
Maybe this is a different case because they have a “famous” last name or some other excuse we tell other selves to justify the judgments that we casts on others, but is it really?
It is the same reason the convicted felon released from jail most likely will not find gainful employment due to his prior convictions.
These thoughts do not negate the fact that something wrong was done here, however intent could not be defined, due to the prior judgments already cast upon a person based upon actions that occurred while they were intoxicated. The system is not broken due to “connections to Uncle Joe” the system is broken because of us.
