by Sally Rosa | Nov 5, 2014 | Addiction Articles, Recovery
You Got it Wrong, Vice
By: David Greenspan
Vice recently published a two-part exposé on the sad state of this country’s for-profit substance abuse treatment centers.
The videos and article centered around the story of Brandon Jacques, your typical American every-kid, who passed away on April 2nd, 2011 in a California detox.
While Brandon’s is a touching and true story, Vice’s damning depiction of the rehab industry left a lot to be desired. Are there problems with this industry? Absolutely. Do they apply to every treatment center? Not at all. Not even a little bit.
Because Vice’s report took the form of Brandon Jacques’ narrative, I thought I’d write an open letter to them about my own narrative. Treatment saved my life. It’s that simple.
How Rehab Saved My Life
I’ve had a problem with drugs and alcohol since I was twelve years old. Right from the get go, I suffered consequences from my drug use. The first time I smoked weed was on school property. I was caught and suspended.
The following year, I sold Ambien to a kid in my school. He had an allergic reaction and almost died. I was once again caught and suspended. You’d think these events would be a wake up call, right? Nope. I was already caught in the cycle of active addiction.
I was sent to my first intensive outpatient program (IOP for short) pretty soon afterwards. Thus began my illustrious career as a rehab client.
By the time I was eighteen, I’d been to three outpatient programs and two jail cells. Each IOP was a for-profit center located in or around New York City. Throughout all three, I drank and drugged. Is that the rehab’s fault? Absolutely not.
Each IOP program went above and beyond while trying to help me. They offered family services for my parents. Counselors spent long hours arguing with me about my drug use, which, by this time, had turned to full-fledged addiction. Counselors took time from their weekends to bring me to twelve-step meetings.
None of it worked. You know why? Because I wasn’t ready to stop. Because I was a full blown alcoholic and addict who, despite plenty of evidence to the contrary, thought everything was fine.
Once I turned eighteen, I entered my first for-profit inpatient rehab. It was one of the many in south Florida. I was out and using six months later. Again, this treatment center went above and beyond for me and my family. To this day, I’m still in contact with counselors, behavioral health professionals, and doctors I met there.
Was it the rehab’s fault I relapsed? Nope. I remember waiting for a bus while being strung out. I was shaking like a leaf, the Florida heat didn’t help one bit. Guess who walks up to me? A behavioral health professional from the rehab. We talked for over an hour. She took me to a meeting and got me into a halfway house.
I was promptly kicked out of the halfway house for getting high. See, that’s what active addicts and alcoholics do. We drink and drug until we’re forced to stop.
The following year, at the ignorant age of nineteen, I entered my second for-profit rehab. By this point, I’d been arrested a handful of times. I’d overdosed more times than I could count. I crashed cars and suffered serious medical consequences as a result of my drug use. I’d burned every bridge I had left. I was done.
This facility, also in south Florida, saved my life. While all the other rehabs went above and beyond, this place was really something. The doctors, counselors, BHP’s, and everyone else working there, were simply amazing. They got me on the right medication. They ran the right groups.
Guess what else happened at that rehab? My insurance ran out. Did they kick me out? Nope. They worked out a payment plan that seemed fair. They continued to treat me. When I had trouble making those payments, they continued to treat me.
See, Vice, there are certainly some shady for-profit rehabs in the U.S. There are certainly places that engage in illegal referrals for kickbacks. There are certainly places that market themselves as “full-service,” despite offering limited treatment options. But not all rehabs are like that. Not even close.
You’re Looking in the Wrong Places, Vice
The Vice exposé focused on luxury California treatment centers and one in Arizona. That’s not really surprising. California has a ton of overpriced and under qualified rehabs. I don’t know about Arizona, but I’d guess they’re the same.
What about south Florida, though? What about Delray Beach, affectionately known as “the recovery capital of the world?”
Now Vice, let me stop you right there. “But David,” they’re saying, “south Florida also has a ton of shady rehabs and halfway houses. Haven’t you read this article?”
I did read it and you’re right, Vice. South Florida has its bad seeds. It has treatment centers, detoxes, and sober living facilities that were founded based on nothing more than greed. It also has a vibrant and one-of-a-kind recovery community.
Now, in the interest of full disclosure, I work at a for-profit rehab. Does that bias my view about for-profit treatment centers in south Florida and elsewhere? Probably. Does that change the fact that there are plenty of rehabs saving lives left and right? Not one bit.
So, the next time you want to do a report on the treatment industry, Vice, why don’t you try talking to one of them.
by Sally Rosa | Nov 4, 2014 | Addiction Articles, Drug Addiction
Brett Rossi’s Overdose
Okay, Charlie Sheen didn’t kill his ex-fiancée Brett Rossi, but their unhealthy relationship may have contributed to her recent overdose.
This past weekend, Rossi, whose real name is Scottine Ross, was rushed to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles. She had reportedly overdosed on an unknown substance.
Thankfully, Rossi recovered and is no longer in critical condition.
Her overdose got me thinking about relationships in active addiction. Lord knows I’ve had enough of them!
How do relationships in active addiction impact addiction? How do these relationships fuel the flames of destructive behavior? And the million dollar question – is it possible to really love your significant other while in active addiction?
Dating in Active Addiction
I was actively drinking and drugging for seven years. During that time, I dated more than my fair share of guys, most of who were also drinking and drugging. There were a few unfortunate “normies” thrown in there. Luckily, I’ve been able to make amends to them in sobriety!
So, how did these relationships impact my addiction? Well, they fueled it. Having someone to cosign all of my insanity kept me drinking and drugging for longer than I should have. Having someone by my side, who was just as crazy as I was, made my behavior feel normal.
Not to mention, two addicts can scheme, plot, and scam better than one. My partner in crime, whoever that happened to be at the time, and I would create some sort of weird addict synergy. This also kept me drinking and drugging for longer than I would have otherwise.
Destructive Relationships
That’s my experience, but what about other types of destructive relationships? What about codependency, abusiveness, and general unhealthy behavior?
Well, these are all common to relationships in active addiction. After all, addiction and codependency go hand-in-hand. In active addiction, we’re not only physically, mentally, and spirituality sick, but emotionally sick as well. Having someone around to make us feel loved is huge. That’s been my experience, anyway.
Abusive relationships also go hand-in-hand with active addiction. I know countless boyfriends verbally abused me during my addiction. Thank God I was never physically or sexually abused, though I know that’s common for many female addicts.
As for general unhealthy behavior, that almost goes without saying.
Can Two Active Addicts Love Each Other?
I wish there was a simple answer to this question. Unfortunately, like a lot of factors involved in addiction, there’s no simple answer.
I think it’s possible for two active addicts to truly love each other. I also think it’s possible for two people who love each other to engage in destructive behavior together.
I know I loved at least one of the guys I dated in active addiction. That didn’t stop us from pulling each other down. Love didn’t stop us from hurting each other on an emotional, mental, and spiritual level.
So, what’s the solution to destructive relationships in active addiction? Simple. We get sober! If our significant others love us, they’ll support this decision. If our significant others really love us, they’ll follow suite and make some major changes in their lives too.
by Sally Rosa | Nov 3, 2014 | Addiction Articles, Sobriety For Women
As Ebola Panic Dies Down, Let’s Talk about Addiction
A number of new polls show that Americans are less worried about an Ebola outbreak than they were last week! Three cheers for doctors and first-world medical care!
According to Bloomburg Politics, 69% of Americans were “somewhat or very concerned” about Ebola in early October. As of October 29th, that number dropped to 61%.
Also, according to Fox News, a mere 59% of Americans believe Ebola will spread throughout the country. Again, three cheers for medicine!
What does Ebola have to do with Sobriety For Women? I’m asking myself the same question. Well, according to a controversial Huffington Post article, we should be talking about the addiction epidemic, not the Ebola epidemic.
The Real Cost of Addiction
According to Huffington Post, and more importantly the C.D.C., the scope of addiction is staggering. Really, some of these numbers are unbelievable.
Consider the following facts and statistics:
- In 2012, overdoses were the leading cause of death injury. In fact, overdoses killed more people in the twenty-five to sixty-four age bracket than car accidents.
- In 2012 alone, 41,502 people died after overdosing. Over half of these deaths were due to pharmaceutical overdoses (oxycodone, Vicodin, Xanax, etc.).
- There’s been a 117% increase in overdose deaths from 1999 to 2012.
Okay, those are some alarming numbers! More important than shocking numbers, though, is the human cost of addiction.
What if it was YOUR Loved One?
That’s a scary question. I don’t particularly want to think about what my family would have gone through if I’d died as a result of my overdoses.
It’s important to ask though. It’s questions like “what if my sister overdosed and died?” and “what if my daughter overdosed and died?”, that are going to change the conversation about addiction. Remember, we can all change! We can also all change the conversation!
Right now, the public generally views addiction as an unpleasant and misunderstood disease. That last part’s important– a misunderstood disease. While addiction is undoubtedly a disease, this way of thinking tends to dehumanize its victims.
Women in Recovery are More Than Statistics
By adding a personal touch to addiction stories, by adding a face and a smile, the public won’t be able to dehumanize addiction any longer.
Women in recovery aren’t merely statistics. We’re not numbers to be spewed out like an afterschool special. We’re people! We’re daughters, sisters, mothers, aunts, cousins, friends, girlfriends, wives, and so much more! We’re spiritual warriors fighting each day to make the world better!
We’re the human face of addiction. Reminding the world that we’re sober addicts and alcoholics (and so much more!) is what’s going to make the addiction dialogue shift.
Our lives and our stories are going to change the conversation from the Ebola epidemic, to the addiction epidemic, to the blessings of recovery!
by Fiona Stockard | Oct 31, 2014 | 12 Steps, Addiction Articles
Written By: Fiona Stockard
The Big Book Broken Down – Part Nine
Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who help each other to recover from alcohol and drug addiction. It was founded in June of 1935, just celebrated its seventy-ninth anniversary, and boasts over two million members.
AA’s central text is the Big Book. With a sponsor and a Big Book, AA members work the twelve steps, and “recover from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body” (title page).
Today, I’ll be breaking down step eleven from the chapter “Into Action”
Step Eleven
Step eleven is “Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of God’s will for us and the power to carry that out.”
That’s a mouthful! Step eleven is longer than any of the other twelve-steps. It’s also sort of overwhelming! Just how do I improve my conscious contact with God? How do I learn God’s will?
Fear not! The Big Book gives us some concrete instructions on how to increase our contact with God as we understand God!
Into Action says that, at the end of our day, we might try asking ourselves the following questions –
“Were we resentful, selfish, dishonest or afraid? Do we own an apology? Have we kept something to ourselves which should be discussed with another person at once? Were we kind and loving towards all? What could we have done better? Were we thinking of ourselves most of the time? Or were we thinking of what we could do for others, of what we could pack into the stream of life?” (p. 86).
I’ve never been able to answer all those questions to my satisfaction (probably because, as an alcoholic, I’m also a perfectionist!). Remember though, it’s spiritual progress, not perfection!
I don’t have to be perfect. I don’t have to go through my day afraid of making any mistakes. Nope. I just have to make sure to review my conduct. I have to figure out where I fell short and work to do better.
That’s one of my favorite parts of Alcoholics Anonymous. It doesn’t matter how often I fall short of my goals. I only have to be willing to do better, to be better. God makes the rest possible!
Into Action then talks about morning meditation. It says,
“We consider our plans for the day. Before we begin, we ask God to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives…We usually conclude the period of meditation with a prayer that we be shown all through the day what our next step is to be, that we be given whatever we need to take care of such problems. We ask especially for freedom from self-will…” (pp. 86-87).
That’s easy enough. It has been for me, anyway. Each morning, I meditate and pray. It took awhile to get into the routine, to make it a daily habit. The benefits I felt on the mornings I prayed and meditated, though, made it easy to incorporate into my life.
What about during the day, though? The Big Book has that covered, too. It reads, “In thinking about our day we may face indecision. We may not be able to determine which course to take. Here we ask God for inspiration, an intuitive thought or a decision” (p. 86).
Again, easy enough, right? But what about when something bad happens during the day? That’s a bit harder. Into Action reads,
“As we go through the day we pause, when agitated or doubtful, and ask for the right thought or action. We constantly remind ourselves we are no longer running the show, humbly saying to ourselves many times each day ‘Thy will be done.’ We are then in much less danger of excitement, fear, anger, worry, self-pity, or foolish decisions” (pp. 87-88)
That’s hard! When I’m angry, upset, scared, or anything else, I don’t want to pause and pray! I want to get angry! That’s a character defect that just doesn’t seem to go away. Remember though, it’s progress not perfection!
Tune in next week for a breakdown of step twelve!
by A Women in Sobriety | Oct 29, 2014 | Addiction Articles, Recovery
Written By: Fiona Stockard
Articles are the sole work of the individual author and do not express the opinion of Sobriety for Women.
Grateful Alcoholics Don’t Drink?
If you’re in recovery, you go to meetings. If you go to meetings, you hear corny sayings. If you hear corny sayings, you’ve heard “grateful alcoholics don’t drink.” So, by the transitive property, if you’re in recovery, you’ve heard that grateful alcoholics don’t drink.
I hate that saying, okay? It’s clichéd, shallow, corny, and worst of all, misleading! Now, before you write me off as a ranting and raving lunatic, let me explain.
Why I Hate That Saying
“Grateful alcoholics don’t drink” isn’t inherently bad. I mean, if you know the true meaning of gratitude, you probably won’t drink (or get high). Okay, sounds reasonable. Besides, gratitude is an important part of sobriety.
Here’s the thing though, the saying is used as a sort of band-aid AA. It’s right up there with “don’t drink and go to meetings,” “meeting makers make it,” “put the plug in the jug,” and “easy does it.” Hey, someone should write articles about those too!
Let me explain something very clearly. Alcoholics drink. Grateful alcoholics drink. Sober alcoholics drink. Drunk alcoholics drink. Alcoholics in any form drink. We drink because we’re alcoholic and we’re alcoholic because we drink. We drink because we don’t have a choice and we don’t have a choice because we drink.
However, once you do the work, you have a choice about whether to drink or not. Do what work?, you ask. I thought I only had to go to meetings?, you ask. Here’s the reason why “grateful alcoholics don’t drink,” and all those other sayings, suck.
Do Some Work
I didn’t get sober until I got off my butt and did some work. I sat in meetings immediately after shooting up. I relapsed over and over and over again, until the day I decided to try something different.
When I say I did some work, or that I tried something different, I’m talking about working the twelve-steps. You’d be surprised how many people go to meetings and don’t work the steps. Well, maybe you wouldn’t. Maybe you’ve sat in meetings and seen the girl nodding off.
See, AA wasn’t designed around meetings. In fact, meetings came about as an offshoot of doing step-work. Bill W., Dr. Bob, and the other original AA’s met weekly to talk about issues in their lives. They met to encourage each other and provide a safe haven for new members. They met in each other’s houses and had meetings downstairs. Upstairs, sponsor and sponsee would be working the steps together. Guess what? Everyone wanted to be upstairs. They knew that was where you started to get better.
When we first get sober (or dry, if we’re using the correct term), we sit in meetings and are literally insane. We don’t know what it is to be sane. Yeah, we’re not drinking or drugging, but we’re not better! We’re still delusional, selfish, and manipulative. Simply put, we’re still sick.
So, how do we get better? We get a sponsor and start to get in touch with a god of our own understanding. We have honest talks with our sponsor. We write down the people we don’t like. We write down our fears, our character defects, and our sexual escapades. We write down the people we’ve hurt, then we go out and make things right with those people. Simply put, we work the steps!
After Doing Some Work You Probably Won’t Drink
See, gratitude is a verb. You can’t sit in meetings and be grateful for being there. You can’t be in south Florida and be grateful for the palm trees. You can’t white-knuckle being dry and be grateful for “being sober.” No, in order to be grateful for anything you need to put the work in.
Know what I’m grateful for today? I’m grateful my parents answer the phone when I call. I’m grateful I can show up for work. I’m grateful I have friends. Know how I got those things? Well, I made amends to my parents and then stopped screwing them over. I got a job and showed up everyday, whether I wanted to or not. I talked to people and showed them, through my actions, that I was worthy of friendship.
In each of those cases, work was involved. After doing the work, and feeling the peace that came from it, I’m able to be grateful. After doing the work, I’m able to appreciate things.
So, you want to be a grateful alcoholic who doesn’t drink? Get a sponsor, work the twelve-steps, start getting in touch with god as you understand god, make things right, and show up for life. Otherwise, you’re going to get drunk.
