by A Women in Sobriety | Jun 12, 2017 | Addiction Articles, Addiction Treatment, Blog
Truly Helping a Drug Addict or Alcoholic
Helping, truly helping, a drug addict or an alcoholic is one of the hardest things in life to do. Any parent, spouse or friend of someone in active addiction can confirm that watching a person you deeply care about gamble with their life is emotionally, spiritually and physically challenging. The fact is that most of the time we, the people who love our addicts more than they love themselves, seem to have gone out of the way to help the individual struggling on several occasions and have been filled with a renewed sense of hope. This hope was soon crushed as the behaviors of our loved ones continued to remain the same and the eventual relapse soon arrived on the horizon. After numerous attempts of this repeated cycle many are left wondering what are the best ways to help an addict get clean and sober?
1. Understand Addiction
It is best to understand what addiction is and that your loved one is struggling with a problem much stronger than something they can overcome on their own. Quite often friends and family members are hurt or angry with a drug addict or alcoholic that they love when they are unable to stay clean and sober. You should understand that a relapse has nothing to do with them not caring enough about you or that drugs and alcohol is more important to them than you are. Once you have a better understanding of what addiction is you will be much more effective in helping a drug addict or an alcoholic become willing to get help, and hopefully commit to going to a drug addiction treatment center.
2. Talk to the Addict
Being a close friend or family member of an addict you should not hide the fact that you know the addict is using drugs again. Often loved ones are uneasy about how to approach an addict who is on drugs and if they should confront them on their illicit drug use. Due to the deaths rates in the United States and the number of daily over doses due to heroin and other illicit drugs not speaking to your loved one regarding their drug use is one of the worst things you can do. Speaking to them in a calm and genuine manner about how you feel and that you want to support them getting better is the best way to help an addict feel not attacked during these discussions. Drug addicts already have a lot of guilt, shame and denial about their drug use and may use these talks as an opportunity to get defensive so it is important as the person of influence to stay on target in the discussion. The goal is to not let anger cloud your judgment and to speak with love and empathy. You can advise him or her that you will do anything you can to help them get well, but you will not support negative behaviors which lead to more use. Some common examples of negative behaviors are: giving an active drug user money, providing a place to stay, hiding things from your spouse, going against your boundaries, etc.
3. Get Support for Yourself
One of the best ways to help an addict is to also get healthier yourself. There are numerous support groups for spouses, children of alcoholics and family members of addicts all over the country that provide a network of support to help deal with the pain and obstacles that addiction brings on. When speaking to your loved one about supporting them getting well, you are really asking them to get help for their drug addiction. An addict will most likely be unable to get clean and sober without some form of outside help from agencies such as medical professionals, a drug addiction treatment center or a support group of their own.
The best way to help an addict is to do everything you can to regain control of the situation and to not delay. Addiction is progressive and will only get worse over time. The drugs being consumed today are much stronger than they were in the decades before, and the drug users are getting addicted much younger and much faster. Do everything you can to seek professional help from a drug addiction treatment center or qualified professional to get the help your loved one needs.
by Sally Rosa | May 31, 2017 | 12 Steps, Addiction Articles, Blog, Recovery, Sobriety For Women
Date a Drug Addict?
Ok so, here’s the deal, I’m not gonna sugar coat this, or blow smoke up your tits for 20 minutes I’m just gonna get right to the answer. Date a recovering alcoholic, or drug addict. “But Fiona, what if they relapse?”
Shut up.
The core of this whole issue of should I date a recovering alcoholic or a normal guy is the word normal. No one, not one soul is normal and the one you think is normal is most likely the craziest cat in the alley. Nobody is normal, we all have our issues and that is why you should date some one in recovery, because you already know their issues. They have a problem with drugs and alcohol. Do they have other issues? You bet your little judgmental ass they do, but the cool thing is they will tell you what those issues are. People in recovery love to talk about how fucked up they are, it helps them stay sober and it helps others stay sober as well. So date number one rolls around and you pretty much know what to look out for.
Working on Issues
Also the cool thing is that you know they are working on these issues and that they use them to fuel recovery, It’s not like they say, “You know, when I drink I like to put goldfish up my butt and eat sour patch kids and I have no plans on quitting that game anytime soon.” Instead they say, “When I used to drink I’d put goldfish up my butt and eat sour patch kids, I’m very ashamed of it but if someone can relate to it or if my story helps them in any way then it was worth it.” Now that’s how you explain doing stupid shit when you were wasted.
Becoming a Better Person
The other cool thing about dating a recovering alcoholic or a recovering druggie is that everyday the are working on becoming a better person. You are on the ground floor of what could be one of the greatest dudes in the history of the world ever! People who truly are in recovery get better and better everyday, now, so called normal people, the don’t do that. Normal people, you know what I hate that, lets call them Robots. Robots sit in their cubicles or corner offices talking about their material possessions or the stock market or last night’s game or the PTA meeting and it repeats for years and years. Never do they really help people, never do they really open up. They don’t get better, Robots only get worse.
Dating Robots
Robots can live their entire lives seeming to be a normal robot, “Oh Pastor Mark, he is such a kind a companionate robot.” Bullshit, Pastor Mark has been banging the pool boy for 10 years, smoking meth behind the waffle house and in his spare time he tells you all bible stories from the alter. Oh and one more thing, Pastor make is the one who puts goldfish up his butt and eats sour patch kids and has no plans of stopping.
Robots are always going to be robots, they hide there faults, live in secret and present fake lives to the world.
Recovering alcoholics admit their faults, face them, fix them and strive to make themselves and the world a better place.
So who do you want to date, a person in recovery or a robot?
If you choose the person in recovery, I wish you nothing but the best.
If you choose the Robot, I’ll buy you some sour patch kids.
by Fiona Stockard | May 31, 2017 | Addiction Articles, Drug Addiction
Smoking Harms You
People who smoke are making a conscious decision to do something that will harm them. They are doing something that will kill them and it gives them no mood-altering conclusion. No euphoria, no high. So, what is to stop them from doing something else that will kill, them but gives them the greatest feeling ever? Nothing. Nicotine is and has always been the only gateway drug. I’m pretty sure I could just stop right here. I’m pretty sure you do not need any other deeper analysis of this then the simple, plain and punch you square in face the idea that…
Once you start using nicotine you, are more likely to use other drugs! The logic behind this theory is so basic and so rock solid further investigation and analysis should not be necessary. Although I do anticipate that a small village of Virginia Slim smokers still exist in a dark ally somewhere and they want to might me on this issue before Bingo start, so for those of you who think nicotine is not a gateway drug here are the facts.
1. Studies have shown
The New England Journal of Medicine stated on September 4th 2014 that “Epidemiological studies have shown that nicotine use is a gateway to the use of marijuana and cocaine in human populations. “ The hypothesis that Nicotine is a gateway drug came from Denise Kandel. Her studies found that in 2012, 87.9% of adults in the U.S. between the ages of 18 and 34 who have used cocaine, smoked cigarettes before trying cocaine. Only 5.7% of this group began using cigarettes and cocaine at the same time. Only 3.5% used coke first.
2. Prevent Substance Abuse
The study also concluded that, one of the best ways to prevent substance abuse is to focus on preventing nicotine use first and foremost. Since the stats are so overwhelmingly in favor of nicotine being the first drug initiated into the system and leading to the use of harder drugs the study suggested that we stop the problem at the source, Duh. This makes too much sense. Essentially, if officer Crumpky and his buddy’s at D.A.R.E spent their time only talking to kids about the dangers of smoking they would have a far greater success rate keeping the tykes off the hard stuff. D.A.R.E. actually could have worked, they had a good idea, they were just fighting the wrong enemy.
3. Mice and Nicotine
In Science Translational Medicine on November 2, 2011, it was reported that mice who were given nicotine for 7 days were attracted to and sought out cocaine more than the mice who were not given cocaine. So the brain is actually hard wired to start looking for the next great drug once the switch has been flicked by the nicotine. Science is awesome.
So yes, I’m sure Aunt Estelle will tell us that she smoked her Camels for 50 years and never once did she want or use cocaine. That’s great for Aunt Estelle. I’m sure there is a kid in a half way house smoking his vape screaming I vape and I have 4 months sober! There’s probably an old timer at a meeting smoking his Winstons saying I smoke and I’ve never tried that jazz. Good for you guys, it works if you work it. The point is… If you do something that will kill and you don’t get high from it, you are probably going to do another thing that can kill you, that you do get high from. Oh, and there’s this point to, 87.9% of people who used cocaine used nicotine first. Nicotine is a gateway drug, period.
by Sally Rosa | Apr 20, 2017 | 12 Steps, Addiction Articles, Drug Addiction
Selena Gomez Says Her Rehab Stay Saved Her Life, But It Wasn’t Drugs?
First off, let me state that I’m not really feeling great about writing this article. I think that ‘The Selena Gomez rehab story’ should be between her and her support group… however, she is hiding something and in the hiding, is a dereliction of her duty to help other young girls. It was reported by everyone with a pulse that Selena Gomez’s rehab stint was for anxiety and depression. Selena Gomez’s rehab stint lasted 90 days and although the recovery treatment center she attended does offer services for mood depression and anxiety disorders, it also has services for a range of addictive, dependent and co-dependent behaviors. I believe that her stay was drug and alcohol related and by hiding that portion of her illness she is missing a huge opportunity to help millions of women through her struggle, recovery and fame.
90 Days of Recovery Treatment for Instagram Addiction?
Selena Gomez said one of the main reasons that she sought out treatment was that she was addicted to Instagram… Instagram. Yes, no one on the planet has more Instagram followers than her but give me a break. NO ONE HAS TO GET RECOVERY TREATMENT FOR INSTAGRAM ALONE. One source from inside the treatment center, and again I hate myself for reporting this, said she was admitted for “excessive drinking and partying.” If that is the case then why not admit it? Why be ashamed of it? I am not. Millions of women are not ashamed to be recovering addicts and alcoholics. By hiding behind the “I’m addicted to Instagram” catch phrase Selena Gomez is essentially telling women they should be ashamed of being a drug addict, because no one is believing the depression and anxiety and Instagram spin.
Anxiety and Depression are Not the Reason for Selena’s Trip to Rehab
I actually do believe that she has a tough life. Being that famous comes with an enormous amount of pressure. I think she is depressed and I think she does suffer from horrible anxiety, I just think it all stems from her Drug and alcohol abuse. Her rehab stay also came with this quote from her.
“You have no idea how incredible it felt to just be with six girls, real people who couldn’t give two shits about who I was, who were fighting for their lives.”
To me, a woman who has been to 9 rehabs… that sounds a hell of a lot like drug abuse. Selena’s time in rehab was an opportunity for and incredibly influential young woman to take a stand for recovery and a stand against addiction. She could have been a force for real change and had an impact unlike any other woman in the history of addiction. Instead she became just another celebrity pretending they went to rehab for something that wasn’t drugs. I’m sad that Selena won’t come clean about the real reason she got recovery treatment, because the opportunity for awareness was so great. The only thing that is sadder is this…
Selena Gomez’s Rehab Could Have Just Been Research for A Netflix Role
This is an excerpt from an ET article:
Gomez has spoken out quite a bit about anxiety and depression, and shared during a panel discussion while working on Netflix’s “13 Reasons Why”, which is based on Jay Asher’s bestselling novel about a teenager who commits suicide.
Come clean girl was it drugs or just another day at the office?
by Sally Rosa | Apr 13, 2017 | 12 Steps, Addiction Articles
Do These 5 Things to Enhance Recovery from Drugs and Alcohol
So a bunch of the girls from my women’s group on Saturday have put together this list of 5 things that seriously help us in our recovery from drugs and alcohol. A woman we all know named Danni (not her real name, anonymity people!) was in need of drug help. She seemed to have a terrible time staying sober more than six months. We all told her the normal stuff, go to 90 AA meetings in 90 days, get a sponsor, get a home group, and on and on. Nothing seemed to work, she kept coming back to us for help. So one morning all of us girls made a list of the not so common things we do to boost our recovery from drugs and alcohol. Danni tried ‘em and she has 7 months sober! So here they are, warning they may seem kind of weird but they work when done alongside all the other stuff like meetings, helping others, service work, rehab, IOP, you know what I’m talking about.
5 Interesting Ways to Help Your Recovery
5. Laugh Every Day
Do it! I know it sounds impossible but we all tried it and it helps us big time in our recovery. Some days it can be tough to figure out a way to laugh but, figure out a way. Force your self to watch a movie ‘til you laugh at least once, call a funny friend, do what ever it takes. We found that your mood is pretty great if you’ve laughed everyday fro 90 days.
4. Sing A Song Out Loud With A Friend
Do it! Again it may seem silly but it really boosts your mood and will have you both laughing, so really this one could knock two off your list. Plus, this helps with recovery from drugs and alcohol because you can use it in happy times, sad times and angry times! Try Adelle songs, they’re my favorites, and “Mean” By T-Swift.
3. Make A Gratitude List And Text It To Friends
Do it! Ok, I’m sure you’ve all heard this one before but have you all really done it for at least a month? Have you all actually read what other people wrote? If not try this. It will boost your recovery like crazy and you’ll get really close with all your female AA buds.
2. Punch Somebody
Just Kidding
2. Ask One Stranger At A Meeting What They Are Struggling With
Do it! We have been amazed at how much of an impact this simple gesture has on people. Many times people who were too shy or ashamed to share at the meeting pour their hearts out to you. They needed someone to talk to and you answered their prayers. So many new friends have been made in this way, you must try it.
1. Tell A Different Person You Love Them Everyday
Just Do it, its that simple!
