Overcoming Addiction Before Inspiring Others

My name is Katie Maslin and I’m an alcoholic and addict

Serenity Prayer

I was born in Orlando, Fl in 1973. My parents were in a rock band. My parents divorced, and the band broke up, when I was three. My first experience with drugs was witnessing my Uncle Joe kill himself. He was high on PCP and shot himself with a shotgun. He was seventeen. I was four.

My Childhood

When I started school, my mother worked in a dress shop during the day and sang during the evening. I didn’t see much of my father. My mom struggled financially. She was a single mother after all. I always felt less than and was self-conscious. I was bullied constantly during elementary and middle school. My nickname became “welfare princess.” We were never even on welfare! Though we did live in the “projects” for awhile. This only added to my low self-esteem.

In high school, things started to get a little better. I met a nice guy and we dated for years. My mother met a nice man and finally got married. No more living in the projects for us! I began to model at a local department store. I entered Teen Magazine’s modeling contest and was a finalist! I appeared in the magazine and won a small scholarship from Maybelline. I even entered the local Miss American Prelim Pageant. I won! I was on my way to the Miss Georgia Pageant!

My Struggles with Addiction

Up to this point, I’d never done drugs or drank alcohol. All I wanted was to be the next Miss America. I was a straight A student and had been accepted to Georgia Southern University. With the money I’d already won modeling, and a few more scholarships, my education was completely covered.

When I got to GA Southern, I got in the BEST Sorority. I was on top of the world. Then I found out my wonderful boyfriend of four years had been unfaithful. I was crushed to my very soul. I left GA Southern and took the rest of the year off to prepare for the Miss Georgia Pageant. I went back to my high school job, waiting tables at a local restaurant. It was there I was introduced to cocaine for the first time.

My friend told me coke would help control my eating. That’s all I needed to hear. I was off and running. I started drinking with my coworkers every night after work. We drank and did coke all night. I felt like I’d finally found a diet plan that worked! Add vodka into the equation and I was, again, on top of the world!

I took cocaine with me to the Miss Georgia Pageant. Needless to say, I didn’t win. That wasn’t a good day.

Shortly afterwards, I met my first husband at a bar called Murphy’s Tavern. Oh, he was a dapper man! Guess what his job was? He was a Master Sommelier, a wine expert. Whoo-hoo!!! It was love at first sign. Two weekends later, we conceived our son in Donald Trump’s guest bedroom. Two weekends after that, we were married at the Lyford-Cay Club in the Bahamas.

We both got a lot more than we bargained for. He got a quickly blooming addict wife and I got a verbally abusive husband. After our son was born, I began to use coke again. My husband bullied me about my weight everyday. The more he said, the more I wanted to use and drink. It was at this point that i was introduced to crack. Crack changed EVERYTHING.

My Life Went From Bad to Worse

After a few years, my husband got a job offer in Palm Beach, at the Mar-A-Lago Club, with Donald Trump. We were moving. I wouldn’t have any connections! What was I going to do? What if someone found out? One night, I went out looking for crack with my son in the car. I can hardly write this part. I saw a prostitute walking. I gave her money and she took me to get some crack. I was off to the races, but what was I going to do with my son? It was suggested that I leave him with a “babysitter” for a few hours. He’d be fine and I could get him at anytime. Fast forward a few hours. I rented my car out for more crack. It wasn’t returned. I had no idea where I was or how to get back to my son.

I later found out someone took him to a convenience store and left him there, crying in the aisle. I was found a week later. I’d been on one hell of a run. I was arrested in a prostitution sting. My husband filed for divorce. It was time to get help. I went through treatment. Afterwards, I could only have supervised visitation with my son. I did this for two years and I worked through my case with Family and Child Services. Finally, I was granted joint custody! I stayed sober for over two years.

During this time, I met a man at a local AA meeting. He was a recent drug court graduate and had four years sober. He made me feel safe and soon we were dating. Within weeks, we moved in together. I had a fairly successful eBay business and was able to cover my child support. Everything was going great. Until my new boyfriend’s parents passed away. He brought back his father’s “leftover” morphine. I’d always had back problems. I thought “what the heck?” and did some. Needless to say, by the end of the day we were doing coke and drinking wine. I didn’t consider it a full blown relapse since I didn’t smoke crack.

A couple of weeks later, we moved to Palm Beach Gardens. Within a few months, we were both smoking crack. Between both of us, we were using about $1000 of crack a day. My son was with us some of time. We spent a lot of time in the bathroom. Soon afterwards, I had my first seizure. My boyfriend and I began to write bad checks to support our habit. After a friend overdosed in our bathroom, we were evicted. I decided to take my son and go to my father’s house in Orlando. I hadn’t slept in four days. I passed out at the wheel and flipped my car on I-95. By the GRACE OF GOD, my son and I weren’t hurt. My Blazer though? It was totaled.

I took my son back to his father. It was years before I saw him again. My boyfriend and I were now officially on the run. the police were looking for us, so we started living our of our van, using all day and night. My boyfriend eventually got caught. I went back to Georgia and checked myself into treatment. It was there I found out I had a warrant out as well. I served my time, paid my restitution, and did my probation. While in treatment, I met my second husband at an AA meeting. I moved in with him immediately after getting out of treatment. After I got out of jail, we married.

We relapsed together shortly thereafter. This was an EXTREMELY abusive marriage. The police were called often, but I always refused to press charges. I even wrote the judge to get my husband OUT of jail. I felt like I deserved the abuse. During this time in my active addiction, I was brutally beaten, gang-raped, and pimped-out by my husband. I began to injury myself during seizures. One time, I had to have seventeen staples put into the back of my head. I’d almost died after smoking crack, passing out, hitting my head on the sink, and loosing over a pint of blood. Another time, I had my feet covered in paint-thinner and set on fire. I ended up with third-degree burns. I was wheelchair bound for three months.

Around this time, I began to be prescribed oxycodone for all my injuries. I quickly became addicted. Somehow, I found a little bit of sense and divorced my husband. I was on the streets again. I was soon sick and tired of being sick and tired. I entered treatment again. I stayed there for six months. After getting out, I briefly reunited with my second husband. I ended up pregnant. Almost seven months into my pregnancy, I relapsed again with my second husband. This time, he beat me so badly that, after being released from the hospital, I was put into a Safe Woman’s Treatment Center. He broke my jaw and I wasn’t able to eat for a month. I stayed at this treatment center until I was about to give birth. At this point, my second husband was in jail. I was safe to give birth.

My second precious angel was born healthy and right on time. However, at my six week check up, I found out I had endometriosis and PID. I had to have a complete and immediate Hysterectomy.

Afterwards, I began to feel strong again. I went back to school, for the third time, and got my counseling certification as a Certified Peer Support Specialist. I got a job at one of the treatment centers that I’d been a patient at so many times.

My wonderful boyfriend and I got married. He was so nice AND had no history of alcohol or drug abuse. I’d really picked a winner, finally. One day, I had a dentist appointment. Did I tell them I was an addict? Nope. They prescribed codeine syrup and I drank the entire bottle in one evening. By four AM, I was out on the street looking for crack. Some random man was driving my car. I had a small seizure. Then he stole my car! I ran into a gas station to get some beer and the guy drove off with my car, my phone, and MY DOG! The next morning, I entered my final treatment center. That was October 6th, 2009. In treatment, I found out I had Hepatitis C. I was, once again, told I needed long-term treatment for my addiction and alcoholism.

(No, I never found my dog. The police did find the car a few months later though.)

The Blessing of Recovery

My husband and I found a wonderful addiction specialist in upstate NY. My husband found a new job. Unfortunately, at this point, my little boy’s father had more clean time than I did. My parents had temporary guardianship of my son due to my relapses. I wouldn’t be allowed to take him with me. This was exactly why I hadn’t agreed to go to long-term treatment before. I didn’t want to leave my baby. My husband assured me that I’d be able to fly home and see my son one a month. That seemed fair to me, so off to upstate I went.

After my initial thirty day treatment ended, my husband moved up to NY. I continued with therapy. I’d suffered a lot of memory loss from my seizures and head injuries. I had PTSD. I went through intensive therapy for three years. During this time, I began to receive treatment for my Hepatitis. I had blood tests every six months. The virus hasn’t come back!

Today, I live back in Georgia. My husband and I live within five miles of my youngest son. He’s now five years old. I still have joint custody, but I pray that one day this will change. I’m working on strengthening my relationship with my oldest son. He just turned sixteen.

I run the Facebook page Sisters of Serenity and Sobriety. I believe I’ve been given a second chance at life. It’s my mission to help other women recovery from this horrible disease. Stop by and say hello!

Sisters of Sobriety and Serenity

Are Addicts Bad People?

Are Addicts Bad People? I Don’t Think So

I found myself part of a pretty interesting conversation tonight. My friends and I were discussing addiction and discrimination. The American War on Drugs isn’t a new one. It’s been going on for decades. There’s been little reform in the grand scope of things. Particularly, there’s been little reform in public policy and the idea of who an addict is.

are addicts bad people?

Most people believe addicts have a choice over whether to get high or not. This isn’t the case. Yes, addicts have a choice about whether they pick up the substance in the first place. That’s where choice ends. Us addicts don’t have any choice about whether to keep on using or not. Our brains and bodies are different. Don’t believe me? Ask a doctor, they’ll tell you. Once we start using, we can’t stop. Simple as that.

If addiction is a disease (and just about everyone agrees it is!), than aren’t addicts being discriminated against? Would society at large say a diabetic should just make their body produce insulin? Then why do they tell addicts to stop using? As for addicts themselves, are we divided into separate classes based on socio-economic status? Are more and more people being jailed and imprisoned? Are we wasting more and more taxpayer money? Is this fair?

Are the conceptions that society holds about addiction realistic? If everyone just took a deep breath, we’d see that we ALL know someone dealing with addiction. It could be a friend, a family member, or a business associate. It could even be you.

The idea that us addicts are bad people and deserve the punishment we receive? That’s just a tad bit harsh, don’t you think? Especially considering how much society now knows about addiction. How long should we be punished for suffering from a mental illness? How long should the stigma of being an addict be a bad one?

The questions are here and they ain’t going anywhere. It’s time to look at the War on Drugs from a different perspective, from the eyes of an addict.

How Do I Quit Drinking On My Own?

One Woman’s Story of Quitting Alcohol

I’ve wanted to quit alcohol for awhile now. It’s been years since I could control and enjoy my drinking. I’ve tried to regulate and cut down with little success. Whenever I do, it isn’t fun. I don’t have a good time and I ALWAYS go back to out of control drinking.

is alcoholism is a disease

So, I went looking for a successful way to quit drinking. I listened to meditations while I slept. I drank non-alcoholic beer. I took up exercise and other activities. Nothing worked! After a ton of research, I found something that did.

How I Quit Drinking

I wrote down the pro’s and con’s of drinking. I put them on paper to see, right in front of me, the truth about what happens when I drink. Some of the pro’s included: drinking helps me unwind, it helps me have fun, and it helps me be more outgoing.

Okay, those are all good things. Still, I had a ton more con’s. These included: strained relationships, lack of energy, lack of accountability, depression, and guilt. There were about 500 more!

So, my con’s far outweigh my pro’s. I made up my mind for good. I was done drinking. Here’s what I did next –

  • I decided on a quit date. On this specific date, I quit drinking and started to implement constructive goals to work towards.
  • I began getting rid of temptation. I removed all alcohol from my home and office. I also removed all reminders of alcohol and my drinking days (things like shot glasses, pictures, etc.).
  • I announced my decision to quit. I told my friends and family that I was done. I gave myself accountability. I’d never done this before because I never really wanted accountability. Now I had it. I was upfront about what I could, and couldn’t, handle and how I needed to stay away from bars and certain events.
  • I kept a diary of my thoughts and behavior. I wrote down anything and everything that happened to me. I wrote if I wanted to drink. I wrote if I did drink. I began to learn from the past. I began to use the past as a tool to help my future.
  • Before You Quit

    Depending on how much you drink, you should check with your physician before quitting. Scratch that, check with your physician no matter how much you drink. It’s always better to be safe than sorry. Besides, alcohol withdrawals can be deadly! If you need help, get help.

    Sobriety For Women: South Florida Recovery

    Don’t be Average, Be Phenomenal

    My best friend, Tim S., owner and creator of SoberNation.com, introduced me to this series of motivational videos. These videos are more than just the typical “you can do anything if you set your mind to it” speeches (I know you’re imagining those in your head right now!).

    We recently watched one where the subject was “Being Phenomenal.”

    Sobriety For Women

    Now, of course, everyone wants to be phenomenal. Being phenomenal is, well, phenomenal! However, most of us settle for being average because it’s easier. Being average is safer. It’s quicker. It takes less work. Except, being average may just end up suffocating the life out of you.

    My Story

    I found myself twenty-three years old, four years sober, and pondering if the sky really was the limit. I decided to be my own guinea pig.

    I went back to school and got a Bachelor’s Degree. Check.

    I quit smoking cigarettes and haven’t inhaled in two years. Check.

    I started a company called Sobriety for Women: South Florida Recovery to change the way women in recovery are treated. Check.

    My friend and I opened a women’s halfway house in Delray Beach. Check.

    I opened a Comprehensive Addiction Treatment facility for women. Today, we house over twenty women. Check.

    These women have become family, helping each other stay sober. It’s a beautiful thing to be involved with and witness.

    The Future Looks Phenomenal

    Today, I’m in the works of expanding South Florida’s premiere woman’s treatment center. The process is nothing short of amazing.

    I didn’t write this article as some sort of cheesy way to get our name out (though no publicity is bad publicity, right?). I wrote this to say we can be our own phenomenon.

    We can, all of us, reinvent our lives and change directions. One thing most motivational videos don’t tell you? You’re a person alive in this world – you can achieve anything. Surround yourself with people who want to go further and you’ll do the same. Figure out what makes you happy and go do it!

    Much Love,

    Brittany Ringerson

    Wanting to Get Sober

    bullshit

    CASE NUMBER:  07-1414

    TO: My Mother and Father

    Everyone makes mistakes in their life. There are two ways to handle those mistakes, you can turn the experience into a positive, or make it define your lifestyle. I chose to go with option A.

    In my case, I have screwed up a lot over the years. Always thinking I was unbeatable, but with time, consequences do arise. You begin to realize that you are above nothing. Even at my lowest point, my parents have stood by me. Originally, this was supposed to be an apology letter, but I have decided to twist it into a thank you letter.

    I am not sorry for my addictions, they were not by choice. They helped me become the strong person I am today. They made me realize that life is too short to screw it up for something that benefits me in not one single way.

    I choose to look at everything the world has to offer and how I am able to overcome and conquer all. Being a strong person does not get you very far without support from the family.

    I just want to thank you for giving me the opportunity to grow into the person I truly am.

    Thank you for your support, trust, confidence, and love- it is all appreciated.

    Sincerely,

    The Best Bull-Sh**ter Ever
    ________________________________________________________________________________________

    Yeah, this was a letter I wrote two years before I got sober. It was part of my probation. I was a great manipulator my entire life. I mean turning an apology letter into a thank you letter? Come on! Give me a break. I kept my family up countless nights. I made them bail me out of jail in the middle of the night and I still had the audacity to withhold an apology?

    Addiction is a disease. I know this NOW. I didn’t know it when I wrote my letter (between bong hits and Natural Ice beer sips, or course). I thought if I promised to stop getting high, I’d be a good kid.

    I wasn’t ready to get sober, plain and simple. I wasn’t ready to get sober until I had a habit I couldn’t break. When I made amends to my parents, I had over a year sober. I wasn’t simply saying sorry, that I’d be a better daughter, or that I wanted a relationship with them. I already put these things in motion.

    See, in sobriety, I learned that actions speak louder than words. I learned how to stop being the best bull-s**tter ever. I learned how to be an honest and genuine person who really could learn from their past.

    Sometimes, you just need to reflect and thank God you’re smarter than you used to be!