One Size Fits All
Beauty’s in the Eye of the Beholder
When did skinny as a rail, I can see your ribs, you look like a starving Ethiopian become what men want? Back in the day, like way back in the day, larger people were desirable. Having meat on your bones meant you had a lot of money. Who doesn’t like money?
“Man, that guys is like five-hundred pounds! He must have so much money to be that big! Do you know if he’s seeing anyone?” asked Marie Antoinette. “Look at that shorty,” King George would say, “I’m gonna take her to the joust, get her knocked up so she can pop out some lads to sit on my thrown, plow the fields, and lead my troops into battle.” That’s a direct quote, by the way.
Today, Brock the frat boy with sculpted abs and an Audi his daddy paid for, combs the savanna (the quad) at the university his dad is a legacy at, looking for the skinniest, most emaciated woman. No way Brock would every date a woman based on her brains or personality. It’s the same reason Brock won’t drive a Prius. I mean, if he had a smart girl and a Prius, his frat brothers would pick on him. He wouldn’t be cool…but he might be smart!
Women, we don’t get a pass on this one either. We hate it when another woman has better shoes, or a better purse, or better hair. We hate it when Susie has the star quarterback on her arm and we “just” have the second string running-back. Last year, a guy friend broke up with his girlfriend. He told me her response. Ready to be dumbfounded? “You’re not really in the financial position I would hope for and you’re way too skinny.” Really? You said that out loud? So people can hear you?
I guess romantic attraction has always been about looks, status, and money.
Can we blame women and men for starving themselves, doing steroids, buying things they can’t afford, and going to ANY length to appear attractive? No, we can’t! It’s all over TV, the internet, billboards, and everywhere else! Women are made to feel we have to be super skinny to find a guy and be happy! Guys are made to feel like they need to be a six-figure lawyer with abs of granite to find a girl and be happy!
We can’t blame them, but we can stop feeding the delusion machine. We can start talking about how happiness is internal, about how beauty comes from within. The size of a person’s heart is more important than the size of their stomach or thighs! Someone’s weight should be measured in the amount of times they make you laugh!
Happiness isn’t something to be bought, it’s an emotion there’s no quick fix for. That’s why it’s so hard to find. Hell, it should be! You won’t find happiness in a bank account, or good looks. It’s found deep inside a person’s heart. Happiness, love, and beauty are found in the heart and in there – one size fits all!
Tips For Overcoming an Eating Disorder
A Different Kind of Freedom
Breaking free from an eating disorder can be tremendously challenging, but it’s so worth it! There’s this beautiful freedom that comes from ending the war between yourself and your body. For those who want to recover, the question is how? How can we recover from an eating disorder?
Recovery is accomplished through acceptance, understanding, and education. Simple as that. Well, it’s simple, but it ain’t easy!
Acceptance
First, we have to identify and accept that poor body image and an eating disorder is a problem. That’s the first step towards recovery. This step is scary and overwhelming, I know! I’ve been there.
Most scientific research shows that poor body image and eating disorders cause distorted patterns of thinking. These include obsessive thoughts of food as a way of dealing with emotional issues. Okay, sounds right to me. So, acceptance here is a form of success and strength. Those with poor body image and an eating disorder can make better decisions once they disengage from unhealthy eating habits and thought patterns.
Understanding
Understanding how our minds and bodies work is so important to overcoming an eating disorder. It’s important to understand how our minds and bodies require healthy nutrition to maintain homeostasis and stimulate healthy thought patters.
Our body requires energy to carry out essential brain activity. When we restrict, binge, or purge, our thinking becomes distorted. Providing our bodies with nutrients, coupled with a span of time free from unhealthy eating behavior, changes how our brains process information.
Once this change takes place, our minds begin to clear. This allows us to accept our issues and learn new coping skills. In turn, these coping skills replace our eating disorder with a healthy alternative. Often, we’re afraid to change because then we’ll be out of control. I know my eating disorder was rooted in control. When I was restricting, I was in control. Obviously, this wasn’t the case at all. Again, my thinking was warped as a result of my unhealthy behavior.
Education
The more we learn and understand how poor body image and eating disorders affect out body, the more likely we are to seek help and recovery. Educating ourselves on the health issues associated with eating disorders and poor body image give us power. What’s the old phrase? Knowledge is power!
By learning about eating disorders, we gain three main benefits.
-We learn how poor body image and eating disorders negatively effect our health.
-We learn how to identify how and why recovery is so important.
-We learn that we’re not alone! Millions of people suffer from poor body image and eating disorders.
Acceptance, understanding and education are the keys to freedom!
Warning Signs of Anorexia
Anorexia Kills!
Anorexia affects MILLIONS of people each year. If that weren’t scary enough, the amount of deaths caused directly by anorexia has SKYROCKETED over the last five year.
Got your attention? Good! It’s important to be aware of the warning signs of anorexia. This way, you can tell if a loved one has an eating disorder. The best way to identify these triggers, fears, and other warning signs is from a recovered woman!
A recovered member of the Addiction and Body Imaging Recovery Alliance shared her story and provided the below information.
Her Story
I’m not sure when I became anorexic, but my obsession with food and dieting started at nineteen. I became infatuated with the attention I received after I started to lose weight! Needless to say, the thinner I got, the harder it was to hide my eating disorder. I’d wear baggy clothes because I was afraid people would notice my rapid weight loss and force me to eat!
I was obsessive about my daily activities, making sure to always have something scheduled during mealtimes. I’d run for breakfast, work for lunch, and drink for dinner. It wasn’t long before people began to notice my unhealthy habits. In the beginning, the more weight I lost, the more compliments I received, and the better I felt. After a little while, those compliments turned into comments about my health.
I firmly believe it was the people in my life that saved my life! They recognized the warning signs of anorexia that went beyond extreme weight loss. These signs aren’t easy to see, because eating disorders are a disease of secrecy. I know I went to great lengths to hide mine! My loved ones noticed my dull eyes, brittle hair, fatigue, fainting spells, even my pale complexion! Slowly, people began to ask if I was going through any serious health issues. I denied everything.
However, as time went on, people began to notice my strange habits. Things like going directly to the bathroom after means, cutting my food into tiny pieces and pushing it all over my plate, obsessively talking about how overweight I was, and severe mood swings. They noticed that even small things like going to the grocery store, resulted in huge emotional outbursts. See, I’d read all the food labels, obsessively, until I burst into tears.
By this time, my eating disorder was evident. It was difficult for my family and friends to approach me with their concerns though. I was in intense denial and had NO intentions of changing. Still, I was approached over and over in respectful, non-confrontational ways. These talks of concern and love slowly made me willing to listen. In the end, I became willing to see a food counselor. It was there I learned the truth about my eating disorder. Soon after, I was on the road to recovery.
So, what are the warning signs of anorexia? Be on the lookout for extreme weight loss, strange eating habits, obsession with food and calories, excessive exercise, hair loss, and inconsistent emotional states. These are the major warning signs. Now, everyone’s different and may exhibit their eating disorder in a unique way. Still, knowing the above signs is a huge help.
Eating disorders can be treated! Remaining recovered though? Well, that’s a a lifelong journey. Treating anorexia may involve seeking psychological help, as well as nutritional and dietary support. Medical monitoring also helps tremendously.
Talk to a doctor if you fear that you, or a loved one, is suffering from the warning signs of anorexia!
The Dangers of Alcoholism and Anorexia
Alcoholism and Anorexia
In terms of healthy body image, living in a resort town was really intimidating! I was obsessed with going out every night. I was obsessed with looking sexy! There was a problem though, I wasn’t as thin as my friends.
I found myself full of self-pity and jealousy. One night, staring down into my empty cocktail glass, I realized that drinking actually made me full! I could probably lose weight if I supplemented my meals with alcohol! I thought I’d found the golden ticket to being thin.
I began skipping breakfast, running five miles a day, working all evening in a bar (which burned a ton of calories), and then going out all night. As the weeks moved forward, I realized I was losing weight at a rapid rate! At 5’8″, I dropped from 135 pounds to 97 in only a few months.
Of course, there was a downside to my rapid weight loss. I was suffering from anemia, hair loss, extreme dehydration, depression, and constant anxiety. On top of all that, my lack of eating was contributing to daily alcoholic blackouts.
The Progression of Alcoholism and Anorexia
A year later, I was so thin that I agreed to participate in counseling, at the repeated urging of friends. Soon, I was clinically diagnosed with anorexia. Of course, I was in complete denial. I had a problem? No way!
I continued down my destructive path because I was so obsessed with the attention I was getting. Everyone told me how thin I was and how I looked like a model. I continued to visit my counselor and slowly began to learn about what I was doing to my body. She told me about how the lack of nutrients in my body was causing it to process alcohol slower. So, that explained my blackouts! A healthy liver can metabolize one drink an hour. Mine could metabolize one drink every few hours. My counselor told me how much liver damage I was doing to myself.
I still wasn’t ready to change, but I was ready to listen. I learned that alcoholism is significantly more harmful to woman than men. This is because women don’t possess an enzyme that helps metabolize alcohol. I learned that women who drink frequently are at a greater risk for cirrhosis of the liver than men, even if they drink less, or for shorter periods of time. I learned that if I continued to drink alcoholically, and deprive my body of key nutrients, I’d soon end up with cirrhosis or pancreatitis.
The Turning Point
Here I was at the turning point. I had to make a decision about my life. I was battling two evils, alcoholism and anorexia. Finally, after several trips to the ER, I decided I was ready to admit total defeat. I accepted the fact that I was an alcoholic, an anorexic, and if I didn’t seek help soon, I’d die.
I got a sponsor and began to work a strong recovery program. I went through the twelve-steps to regain my spirituality. Through the steps, I also found emotional wellbeing and a healthy body image. I began to truly experience the freedom of bondage to my alcoholism and eating disorder.
Today, I continue to work a program, because I believe recovery’s a life-long journey. I’m truly grateful for all the experiences in my life. I’m truly grateful to have been given the gift of freedom.