Written By: Tim Myers
Robin Williams Committed Suicide, But You Don’t Have To
Robin Williams chose to end his life yesterday. He’s dead and everyone is mourning the loss of one of our greatest actors.
99.9% of the people posting on Facebook never met Mr. Williams. Think about that for a second. He touched so many lives through his god given talent that millions, who had no relationship with him, are crying.
Michael Jackson, Whitney Houston, and Amy Winehouse all died by accident. None were celebrated in the way Robin Williams is being celebrated. None were loved in the way Robin Williams is loved.
So, why’d he do it?
Well, I think I know why. See, I’ve wanted to commit suicide quite a few times. I suffer from depression. I’m a recovering alcoholic and drug addict, just like Robin Williams.
There were many times in the past I’ve wanted to kill myself. Not in the seeking attention kind of way. Not in the dramatic kind of way. In the pit of my stomach, calm realization that my pain can be over, I’m going to do this kind of way.
I’ve been there. I was so sick of my failed attempts to get sobriety, so sick of my constant up and downs. I reached a point where I felt doomed to live in a constant state of sadness.
If you’ve never experienced clinical depression, this is what it feels like – you’re trapped in a cement box and no one is around for miles. It’s always dark. All you hear are your own screams and the voice in your head keeps saying “it won’t get better until you die.”
That’s how it feels when the depression takes over. I’m willing to bet that’s what Robin Williams felt like before he committed suicide.
That’s how I felt four years ago, sitting in a red leather chair in Lake Worth, Florida. Tear pouring down my face, a kitchen knife tight in my hand, a note on the table, bottles of vodka across the floor, and the sick thought that my twelve-year-old sister would be better off when I’m dead.
I was never thought I’d wake up, but I did.
I don’t want to die anymore. Here’s why:
- I’ve accepted that I suffer from depression.
- I sought out professional help and continue to see a therapist.
- I take non-narcotic medication everyday, as prescribed.
- I regularly attend Twelve-Step meetings.
- I pray and meditate everyday.
Do I still get sad? You bet your ass I do, but it never gets as bad as it was. It never takes me back to the red leather chair.
I suffer from the disease of addiction and the disease of clinical depression. They’ll kill me if I let them. Through the use of these five crucial things I keep my diseases at bay, in remission, and away from my soul.
I guarantee that for twenty years Robin Williams did these same five things. He was sober and happy. For the last several years, he wasn’t. His diseases convinced him it was time to go.
Robin Williams committed suicide…but I promise you don’t have to.