by Sally Rosa | May 20, 2014 | Addiction Articles, Sobriety For Women
Written By: Katie Schipper
Negative Contracts and Women In Treatment
Many of us enter recovery with a limited and almost always skewed version of reality. Honesty is a foreign concept. We’ve lived with so many lies that we can’t tell what the truth is anymore.
Negative contracts are a necessity in unhealthy relationships. In fact, they’re the foundation of any sick relationship. The drive to keep secrets, deny the truth, and protect our drinking and drugging is paramount for an addict or alcoholic. So, the concept of a negative contract is incredibly natural in any relationship involving addicts. Even after entering a women’s treatment center, falling into negative contracts can happen very easily.
Learn how to build self-esteem and healthy relationships
What is a Negative Contract?
A negative contract is formed any time two people agree to keep a secret that is harmful or dangerous. Unfortunately, after entering recovery this habit doesn’t just disappear!
Addiction appears in many disguises and the heart of all of them is the idea that certain things must be kept secret. That’s why forming negative contracts is so natural. It’s easy to believe that being a good friend means keeping secrets.
Oftentimes, negative contracts start out innocently. The secret could be as simple as someone breaking a rule that doesn’t seem like a big deal. Think passing a note, or flirting with a male client. What’s overlooked, however, is that it usually isn’t the secret that’s the core issue. The bigger picture is that when engaged in a negative contract, both parties are forgoing honesty, a cornerstone of recovery. It’s agreed, across the board, that without honesty, long-term recovery isn’t possible.
Whether the negative contract in question is over a small or large secret, the end result is the same – the people involved stay sick.
How fear can shape relationships in sobriety
Bonding with Others
For females in recovery, negative contracts can take on special significance. Such a contract is a secret and serves as a bond and a type of camaraderie. Negative contracts can feel deceptively like friendship. They can feel like intimacy and, to be the one who tells the secret, can feel a lot like betrayal.
Of course, the reality is that making a choice to not keep secrets is the ultimate freedom. Like many things that are revealed to a newly sober woman, secrets have to be exposed as what they are – tools of addiction.
Knowing what a negative contract is, what holding one means, and the consequences involved is vital knowledge for any woman in recovery. Acknowledging that keeping secrets is not the foundation of a healthy relationship is very empowering. Learning to be honest above all else is a necessary trait for anyone in recovery.
In search of a quality women’s addition treatment center?
by Sally Rosa | Mar 18, 2014 | Addiction Articles, Sobriety For Women
Why Go To An All Women’s Treatment Center?
Laura suffers from heroin addiction and an eating disorder. She goes to a traditional treatment center and is placed in a male therapist’s caseload. Not only does her therapist have no experience with treating eating disorders, but he’s a guy! He also has thirty people in his caseload, including males. What happens?
If you guessed that Laura opens up a tiny bit, and only a tiny bit, you’d be right!
See, Laura talks about some basic topics. She talks about things like triggers and her insomnia. Because her therapist has no experience with eating disorders, she can get away with acting out. Her quickly dwindling weight goes unnoticed. Also, because of the men in her caseload, Laura never feels comfortable opening up about the trauma, guilt, and shame from her past. She does her thirty days, gets out, and relapses within a week.
This scenario happens everyday in treatment centers across the country. There’s a huge need for women’s addiction treatment.
There are like a thousand reasons why it’s beneficial for women to go to an all women’s treatment center. If we talked about all of them, we’d be here until next Wednesday. Let’s look at the top three.
The Top Three Reasons To Go To a All Women’s Treatment Center
1) Gender Specific Treatment
Addiction is a vicious disease that affects individuals differently, especially women. Women have a difficult time finding a treatment center that’s designed specifically for them, with gender unique therapists and groups. Women’s issues, like co-dependency, eating disorders, domestic violence, abortions, and trauma often get swept under the rug at traditional rehabs. I know I didn’t feel comfortable talking about my history of guilt and shame with guys in the room!
Drug Rehabs that have a comprehensive clinical program specifically tailored to women, it’s easy for the women to feel comfortable and work on our core and underlying issues.
2) Comfortability
There is often a huge discrepancy in what men and women look for while going to treatment. Women often need to feel more comfortable at their treatment center. They need to feel like they’re in a “home away from home.”
Drug Rehabs designed to make a woman as comfortable as possible make the recovery process easier on the woman away from her family and loved ones.
3) Less Distractions
A huge plus for women seeking treatment at an all women’s treatment center is that there are fewer distractions. Often, women tend to act out in early-sobriety. This commonly takes the form of getting into an unhealthy relationship. Getting rid of a common distraction leads to higher success rates!
When looking for an all women’s treatment center, find one that’s individualized and offers specific client-centered services. Recovery from addiction, as well as eating disorders, is difficult! With a strong and caring clinical staff, we promise to provide the structure and support women in recovery need to achieve success!
by Sally Rosa | Dec 9, 2013 | Addiction Articles, Recovery
Well, Does It?
I often wonder if there’s quality, effective, and impactful substance abuse and mental health treatment. What I’m asking is – do clinical philosophy and client-centered treatment count more than money?
People are dying left and right from overdoses, driving while intoxicated, and a whole host of other drug-related causes. People are being thrown into jail everyday for minor drug crimes! Addicts, and their families, scramble through a seemingly indecipherable web of personal recommendations and sleazy marketing techniques, desperate for someone, ANYONE!, to help.
To put it another way, our country’s in dire need of quality addiction treatment. How can we tell if a facility is worth sending our loved one to? How do we know if a treatment center has a client’s best interest at heart? How do we know if someplace is capable of providing quality and comprehensive addiction treatment? These are tough questions for any family to answer! Let’s see if we can’t figure them out!
What Does Quality Addiction Treatment Look Like?
People need to learn what factors make a good addiction treatment center. At Sobriety For Women, we want to start that conversation! We hope that this article prompts a discussion on what makes a facility the right fit for addicts and their families.
So, what makes a good treatment center? Well, first and foremost, the focus should be on clients and their families. The bottom line should be secondary. You want someplace that’ll treat you, or a loved one, with respect and dignity, not like a breathing dollar sign.
What else? Any treatment center worth their salt will have a quality, experienced clinical team. If you talk to them and the focus isn’t on programs they offer, you should probably stay away. Treatment centers should offer more than one main focus. While the twelve-step model of addiction treatment is great, scientific and medical resources need to be taken into consideration. While scientific and medical resources are key, a twelve-step approach should be taken to sustain long-term recovery.
Recently, I had the pleasure of touring a drug and alcohol treatment center that meets the above criteria. I feel confident about recommending their services.
Lakeview Health
Lakeview Health, located in Jacksonville, FL, is an addiction treatment facility that specializes in treating individuals with dual-diagnosis disorders. This means they suffer from addiction and mental health issues.
I met with their impressive clinical staff, including: case managers, the clinical director, primary therapists, and behavioral/mental health technicians. I was also able to meet some of Lakeview’s executive staff, including: the VP of Marketing, the VP of Client Services, and the CEO/President, Roy Serpa. Both the clinical and executive staff had no problem taking time from their busy schedules and explaining the various aspects of their programs. They expressed an overwhelming desire to put clients’ needs first. The energy every staff member gave off was contagious and I soon found myself smiling and nodding.
Lakeview Health put their clients’ first. They offer personalized treatment, which encourages clients to focus on an individual recovery program. In turn, this strengthens their chance of long-term success. Lakeview provides a variety of treatment paths, which allow any client to find their place in recovery. Strong clinical care, twelve-step practices, LGBT tracks, Christian programs, and an in-depth family program are offered to all that attend their facility. Simply put, Lakeview has it all!
With a range of care from detox, to residential treatment, to intensive outpatient programs, Lakeview Health easily passes the test of having quality clinical care. They also boast a supportive and innovative team and beautiful location. Lakeview’s campus sits next to the water in sunny Jacksonville, Florida. They provide everything a client could want during their stay,
Lakeview offers numerous addiction support services, including: a 24/7 nurse staff, multiple doctors, primary and secondary therapists, and recreational activities (group and individual exercise classes, music therapy, yoga, and much more).
The staff is always available (with a smile!) to answer any question or concern you have. If you want more information about Lakeview Health, please contact their admission department or visit their website.
by A Women in Sobriety | Aug 2, 2013 | Benefits of Sobriety
Where Rubber Meets the Road
Hopeless alcoholic and drug addict turns life around. What a great heading! Is it frontline news? Well, not in the Sun Sentinel. At certain times during my sobriety, I’ve felt there should be a parade in my honor. There should be parties and a band celebrating my triumphs. I mean, look at how well I’m doing! I’m young and sober. Days have turned into months and years.
I finished a commitment for the first time in my life! I completed treatment at a women’s treatment center and stayed in an all women’s halfway house. I got a sponsor and worked ALL twelve-steps. I started sponsoring other women, started taking them through the steps. Slowly but surely, I’ve begun to understand the concepts behind the twelve-steps and utilize them in my daily life. Life is good.
I have a relationship with God. I have my family back and we have a better relationship than ever. I have more friends than I know what to do with. I haven’t thought about a drink or drug in quite some time. For some, though, there’s still something missing. I feel like a piece of the puzzle is still in the box, on the shelf, out of reach. I can’t put my finger on it. Then, one day, I thought “I’m sober, now what?”
I’m Sober, Now What?
That question hit me hard. It was the combination of all my fears and anxiety. I have a program of recovery. I’ve gotten back everything I lost through active addiction. But I still feel like summer camp is over!
It’s time to sit down and figure out what else there is. What else did I want from life?
It’s time for me to sit down and figure out what goals, dreams, and ambitions I have.
It’s time for me to sit down and figure out who I am and what I really want.
So, I started to think about what I want from life. First, I want to go back to school. I want to get an education and expand my academic horizons. Let’s start there. Well, I went back to school. It was great! For the first time, I was in college because I wanted to be, not because I had to be! After a few years, I graduate with a B.A. in a field I love.
I start to advance at work and land a job with a decent salary. I begin to learn a lot, both inside and outside of recovery. From here, I expand my goals. I want to open my own business, helping sick and suffering women. So, I do. I learn more, and am more fufilled, by helping others than by anything else.
A lot of times I sit down and talk about life with people in recovery. After a certain point, I believe everyone hits a period on their life where, if all their ducks are in a row, they feel the end of summer camp. At this point, it’s important to remember the sky’s the limit!
Yeah, it sounds cheesy, I know. It’s true though! I never imagined I’d have the life I have today. What about you? Did you ever think you’d have the life you have today? Sobriety is the best thing I’ve ever done for myself. BUT, I need to know about life after sobriety!
