by Sally Rosa | Jan 14, 2015 | Addiction Articles, Drug Addiction
Fame & Addiction
If you Google almost any celebrity, really almost any celebrity, chances are there’s going to be something about drugs, booze, or harmful behavior close to the top. I just tried it with Dustin Diamond, the most random celebrity I could think of, and immediately found this story.
Dustin Diamond played Screech on Saved By the Bell. He’s been out of the spotlight for years. Yet searching his name turns up numerous articles about his drinking and drugging. Why is that?
Why is it that fame, current or past, seems to breed addiction? Why do we end up tearing apart our pop culture heroes? Why do we get entertainment out of watching them fall into active addiction or mental illness?
I’m asking these questions to myself as much as I’m asking them to you, readers. I’m guilty of all of the above. To make it worse, I’m a woman in recovery! If anyone should have compassion and love for those struggling with addiction, it should be me!
Now don’t get me wrong, I do feel compassion for celebrities who aren’t doing too hot. Remember when Amanda Bynes was all over the news? I found it horrible that we were making entertainment of her mental illness and possible addiction. Still, I found myself unable to turn away.
Why? Why do I, and why do we, do this?
Unfortunately, I don’t have the answer. What I do have are some thoughts that, upon careful reflection and meditation, may lead to an answer.
Why Do We Enjoy Watching Celebrities Fail?
Do we? I don’t know. What I do know is that I take some weird and twisted satisfaction from watching celebrities fall down. I’m almost ashamed to admit it!
You know in the Big Book when it talks about “murder by character assassination?” I think my fascination, all of our fascination really, with watching celebrities struggle is linked to that.
It makes us feel better to put other people down. It takes a lot of spiritual work to get rid of that simple truth. I’ve been sober for almost seven years and I’m still working towards it!
So, watching celebrities falter and suffer from addiction, mental illness, harmful behaviors, etc. may be a form of that. Like I said above, I don’t know for sure.
I do know it’s vital for our sobriety to treat everyone, no matter how high or low, with patience, tolerance, and love. We’re doing a pretty crappy job of that by taking part in the “celebrity shaming” culture.
Does It Makes Them Seem More Human?
Let’s look at Amy Winehouse. She of the smoky voice. She of the multimillion-dollar fortune. She of the addict and alcoholic disease.
I love Amy Winehouse’s music. It hit me right in the chest from the first time I heard it. Plus, she was talking about refusing rehab! That’s something most of us women in recovery can relate to!
image via Billboard
Amy Winehouse seemed larger than life. She seemed like some sort of musical Goddess. Maybe watching her struggle with addiction made her seem more human. Maybe it made her seem more approachable, more relatable.
Again, I don’t know for sure. Maybe this isn’t the case at all. Maybe I’m just off on a tangent that I need to reel myself back in from. God knows that’s happened before!
Do We Secretly Hate Celebrities?
Well, do we? I’ve thought this before. Are we so envious of the rich and famous that we’re secretly rooting for them to fail? Are we so jealous of their status that we take a sick pleasure in watching them fall?
Look, I want to be famous. I’ll just put it out there. I think everyone does. It’s not my primary goal in life (thankfully, my primary goal is to help other women!) But who wouldn’t want millions, billions even, of screaming fans? Who wouldn’t want to never worry about money again? Who wouldn’t want to have their every need taken care of?
Is my desire to be famous the reason I find myself glued to the TV and sites like Perez Hilton? Who knows. What I do know is I need to find a way to treat struggling celebrities with the same compassion and care I treat women in the rooms with.
What’s the Solution?
Yet again, I don’t have an answer to this question. I do have some ideas though.
I think the solution, like the solution to most problems in my life, lies in prayer and meditation. When I stop trying to answer these questions myself, when I give them up to a God of my own understanding, I’ll be able to practice love, tolerance, and patience for everyone.
So, how do I get to this point? Simple. I need to start praying for celebrities. That seems strange, right? I need to bring men and women who have everything they could ever want into my prayer life. Weird world!
It’s true, though. When I have a resentment, I pray for the person I’m resentful towards. I pray for days, weeks, months, however long it takes to get rid of the resentment. Why should celebrities be any different? Just because I don’t have a conscious resentment towards them doesn’t mean I can’t go to God with my issues.
Okay, ladies, starting right now I’m going to turn off my computer and go pray for some celebrities! I’ll let you know how it goes. If you find yourself unable to turn away from the TV, I suggest you try the same!
by Sally Rosa | Nov 4, 2014 | Addiction Articles, Drug Addiction
Brett Rossi’s Overdose
Okay, Charlie Sheen didn’t kill his ex-fiancée Brett Rossi, but their unhealthy relationship may have contributed to her recent overdose.
This past weekend, Rossi, whose real name is Scottine Ross, was rushed to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles. She had reportedly overdosed on an unknown substance.
Thankfully, Rossi recovered and is no longer in critical condition.
Her overdose got me thinking about relationships in active addiction. Lord knows I’ve had enough of them!
How do relationships in active addiction impact addiction? How do these relationships fuel the flames of destructive behavior? And the million dollar question – is it possible to really love your significant other while in active addiction?
Dating in Active Addiction
I was actively drinking and drugging for seven years. During that time, I dated more than my fair share of guys, most of who were also drinking and drugging. There were a few unfortunate “normies” thrown in there. Luckily, I’ve been able to make amends to them in sobriety!
So, how did these relationships impact my addiction? Well, they fueled it. Having someone to cosign all of my insanity kept me drinking and drugging for longer than I should have. Having someone by my side, who was just as crazy as I was, made my behavior feel normal.
Not to mention, two addicts can scheme, plot, and scam better than one. My partner in crime, whoever that happened to be at the time, and I would create some sort of weird addict synergy. This also kept me drinking and drugging for longer than I would have otherwise.
Destructive Relationships
That’s my experience, but what about other types of destructive relationships? What about codependency, abusiveness, and general unhealthy behavior?
Well, these are all common to relationships in active addiction. After all, addiction and codependency go hand-in-hand. In active addiction, we’re not only physically, mentally, and spirituality sick, but emotionally sick as well. Having someone around to make us feel loved is huge. That’s been my experience, anyway.
Abusive relationships also go hand-in-hand with active addiction. I know countless boyfriends verbally abused me during my addiction. Thank God I was never physically or sexually abused, though I know that’s common for many female addicts.
As for general unhealthy behavior, that almost goes without saying.
Can Two Active Addicts Love Each Other?
I wish there was a simple answer to this question. Unfortunately, like a lot of factors involved in addiction, there’s no simple answer.
I think it’s possible for two active addicts to truly love each other. I also think it’s possible for two people who love each other to engage in destructive behavior together.
I know I loved at least one of the guys I dated in active addiction. That didn’t stop us from pulling each other down. Love didn’t stop us from hurting each other on an emotional, mental, and spiritual level.
So, what’s the solution to destructive relationships in active addiction? Simple. We get sober! If our significant others love us, they’ll support this decision. If our significant others really love us, they’ll follow suite and make some major changes in their lives too.
by Sally Rosa | Oct 6, 2014 | Drug Addiction
Written By: Fiona Stockard
The Saga of Michael Phelps
Last week, Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps was arrested for drunk driving. That story made me ask the question of whether Michael is an addict and alcoholic.
After all, this isn’t his first run in with the law. He was arrested in 2004 for a DUI. In 2009, an infamous picture of him smoking a bong surfaced. It seems like Michael certainly exhibits some classic alcoholic tendencies. He continues to drink and drug in spite of negative consequences.
Ultimately, the only person who can say if Michael Phelps is an addict or alcoholic is Michael Phelps himself. Well, he may be identifying as one of us sooner than expected.
Michael Phelps Decides to Enter Rehab
On Sunday, October 5th, Michael announced via his twitter that he’d be entering “a program.” Sounds like treatment to me. Good job, Michael! I think that’s a pretty mature decision.
The swimmer tweeted that “…right now I need to focus my attention on me as an individual, and do the necessary work to learn from this experience and make better decisions in the future.” His agency later confirmed that he’d be going into a six-week, inpatient treatment program.
Rock on, Mike! I’d like to applaud your commitment to self growth, even if this is only a public relations move. I entered treatment unwilling and learned a lot of important information. In fact, even though I drank after treatment, seeking help was the first step in my recovery journey.
I wish you nothing but the best, Michael. If you learn you’re an addict and alcoholic, know that there are so many resources out there. You have a ton of fans, many of whom are in recovery themselves, rooting for you. Get help and return to the public eye as a story of inspiration and hope. Show the world, Michael, that we can all get better!
by Sally Rosa | Sep 30, 2014 | Drug Addiction
Written By: Fiona Stockard
Michael Phelps Arrested for DUI…Again!
In the early morning of September 30th, Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps was pulled over by the Maryland police. He was driving eighty-five miles per hours in a forty-five mph zone. That was their first clue something was up.
After checking his license and registration, officers noticed Michael seemed to be a bit…inebriated. They performed a field sobriety test, which he failed. It turns out his blood-alcohol level was almost twice the legal limit.
Sounds like a fun night, Mike!
Déjà Vu
This was Michael’s second DUI arrest. He was pulled over for driving while intoxicated back in ancient history, aka 2004. He was nineteen, not even old enough to legally drink!
Michael struck a plea deal with prosecutors. He avoided jail time in exchange for fines and eighteen months of probation.
In 2009, Michael was famously photographed smoking weed. This led to a three-month suspension and the loss of his lucrative Kellogg’s sponsorship deal.
Through all this partying, Michael Phelps remains the most decorated Olympic athlete in U.S. history. He’s won a career total of eighteen gold medals. He’s inspired countless young athletes.
More importantly, he’s performed his a*s off and set an example of how an athlete should behave, on the field anyway. Off the field, though? That’s a different story.
Is Michael Phelps an Addict and Alcoholic?
Okay, so Michael Phelps likes to party. Who doesn’t? Normal people can take it or leave it. They have no consequences as a result of their alcohol or drug use. Michael’s gotten some consequences, but does that make him an addict and alcoholic?
I’m not so sure. See, being an addict or an alcoholic has nothing to do with the consequences of our use. Yes, addicts and alcoholics seem to get into trouble when we use. In fact, addicts and alcoholics almost always get into trouble when we use. That’s not what makes us different, though.
Addiction and alcoholism are three-part diseases. They consist of a physical allergy, coupled with a mental obsession, topped off with a spiritual malady. Consequences have nothing to do with it.
I’m an addict and alcoholic because I obsess about drinking until I finally take a drink. I’m an addict and alcoholic because once I start drinking, I don’t stop. Period. I’m an addict and alcoholic because of why I turned to alcohol and drugs in the first place.
Michael Phelps? I don’t know. It certainly seems like his use is chronic and progressing. Those are both key components of addiction and alcoholism. But once he starts, can be stop? Is he powerless over the obsession to drug and drink? The only one who can answer that question is Michael Phelps himself.
