by A Women in Sobriety | Feb 2, 2015 | Addiction Articles, Recovery
Attitude is Everything
Want to know when in my life I was happiest? The answer might surprise you! I was happiest in early-sobriety while living in a halfway house.
Now don’t get me wrong, my life since getting sober has been nothing short of amazing. I’ve gotten to experience all sorts of things I never thought would happen. I’ve been blessed with friends, family, significant others, and a wonderful God. I’ve gotten to travel, to have amazing jobs, and to grow as a woman.
In other words, I truly have a life beyond my wildest dreams!
Still, there was something about early-sobriety and the simplicity of life that stands out. There was something about that period that makes me gooey with nostalgia. Life was simple, easy, and above all else, amazing!
I think it had something to do with my attitude!
Making the Most of What You Have
My attitude was what made this period in my life so wonderful. I was practicing gratitude like never before. I was taking unselfish and constructive action on a daily basis. I was giving instead of taking. Guess what? By giving, I received more than I ever imagined.
Now, there’s a whole debate (which I’ve participated in!) about how gratitude is steeped in action. Let’s set that aside for a moment and simply look at how gratitude changed my life!
The True Meaning of Gratitude
I was nineteen years old and living successfully on my own for the first time ever. I was coming off a one-year relapse. Prior to that year, I’d had almost six months sober. Prior to those six months, I’d been drugging and drinking for seven years.
So, being sober alone was enough to instill gratitude and humility in little old me! I was so grateful for a bed to sleep on, a pillow to lay my head on, and an air conditioner to keep me cool. I was so grateful for my roommates, friends who would answer their phones, and the ability to set past mistakes right. I was so grateful for my sponsor, my sober supports, and my new twelve-step family!
I was even grateful for my responsibilities. That’s something I tend to forget today. I was so excited to do step-work, to go to my job, and to go to school. Today, these things sometimes seem like a chore. In early-sobriety, though, they were blessings of the highest order.
I think that’s why I look back at this period as the happiest in my life. Now, I’d again like to say that my life today is beyond my wildest dreams. It’s truly amazing. Still, there’s always going to be a special place in my heart for those early days spent living in a halfway house.
There’s always going to be a special place in my heart for meeting with my sponsor, scared out of my mind to be completely honest, and walking away feeling light and free. That’s something special, my friends, it really is.
by Fiona Stockard | May 23, 2014 | Addiction Articles, Recovery
Written By: Katie Schipper
Why Does Choosing a Good Roommate Matter?
Early recovery can often feel like a constant onslaught of suggestions, advice, appointments, therapy, outpatient, meetings, step-work, and so on. The list of things that must be considered can seem never ending!
Why, on top of everything else, does choosing the right roommate matter? Of course, certain qualities are obvious. It’s probably not a great idea to move in with someone who’s getting high or drunk. And maybe avoid moving in with the boy you met in rehab. There’s more to choosing a roommate than just the obvious though, it deserves some attention and thought.
Learning how to live sober is a process. Finding a roommate and building a home (that isn’t a recreation of the chaos you lived in during active addiction) is more than just not using in that home. Finding the right roommate matters because finding a roommate can be one of the first steps in achieving balance. It can be one of the first steps towards living in harmony as a sober woman, outside of an inpatient treatment center, a halfway house, or even a Florida intensive outpatient program.
The following suggestions are based on the assumption that you’re leaving a halfway house after finishing a commitment.
Does quality substance abuse treatment still exist?
Things to Consider in a Roommate
Like any other individual choice, the following qualities to look for in a roommate are only suggestions.
Sometimes, the easiest thing to do is pick a friend and roll with it, regardless of who she is or where she’s at in her recovery (if she’s even in recovery). Often, the easiest thing leads to a lot of extra anxiety and stress! So, before choosing someone just because, consider a few ideas.
- If you’re moving in with someone who’s not in recovery, is this something that will interfere with your recovery?
If the answer is maybe or yes, it’s not worth the risk it poses. Also, do you know that their drinking/using is that of a normal, social user? If you can’t say yes to that question with certainty, it’s a good idea to find someone else.
Now if your potential roommate is in recovery, consider a few things, things that have been found to be largely true across the board.
- Is your roommate through her steps?
If not, consider finding someone who is. If you aren’t through your steps, consider getting through them before leaving your halfway house. Steps completed = some level of sanity has returned. This results in less likelihood of drama in your home!
- Can you find someone who has taken the time to build her recovery through treatment, IOP, and step-work?
- Find someone with whom you can be honest
Honesty usually isn’t a strong point for addicts, so building a roommate relationship based on honesty and openness is a really great foundation for future relationships.
- Find someone who is employable and employed
- Find someone who has similar values or requirements in a roommate as you
For example, if you’re cool with having overnight guests regularly, but your potential roommate isn’t, that’s going to become an issue.
Are you an alcoholic with an anxiety disorder? This article is about you!
What Makes a House a Home?
All of the above are starting points for finding a roommate. If the right roommate isn’t immediately in front of you, don’t pick a random girl! It’s not always wise to jump into a living arrangement with your best friend from IOP, or with someone you’re just getting to know. Be patient and wait until you find someone who you believe you could live with harmoniously.
Having a sober home, a harmonious home, a home instead of a house, is new to most addicts. It’s definitely something worth seeking.
by Sally Rosa | Mar 20, 2014 | Addiction Articles, Recovery
Am I Ready To Move From My Halfway House?
As a women in recovery, becoming a productive member of society and growing into a self-supporting human being is important! A Halfway House, or sober-living home, is a safe and structured environment for us in early-sobriety. Deciding when to move out of a halfway house can be stressful!
Here are some questions (and answers!) to help point you in the right direction.
1) Have You Completed The Twelve-Steps?
If you’re in a twelve-step program, completing the steps is the first thing you should do. Wait, I lied. Getting a sponsor is the first thing you should do. After all, you can’t work the steps without a sponsor!
Working the twelve-steps is the main goal of early-recovery. Afterwards, you get to cary the message and help other addicts and alcoholics.
2) Are You Moving With Roommates?
Moving out with roommates can be tricky. Make sure that whoever you move with is responsible! A good way to tell is to ask them these five questions! If you don’t want to do that, try asking some of the questions below.
-Are your potential roommates in recovery?
-Are you at risk if they’re not sober?
-What happens if they relapse while you’re living together?
-Is relapse a risk for you?
-Do they work a good program and help others?
-Are they able to pay their bills?
-Have they had a roommate before?
These are all things you should discuss before moving with anyone. Talk with your sponsor and sober supports. Maybe moving to a three fourths house is smarter than moving into an apartment. Above all, pray on it!
3) Are You Financially Stable?
Having and sticking to a budget is important to recovery. Moving out and being held financially accountable is pretty damn stressful! Add that to all the other stress and maybe you’re better off staying put (at least for a little while!).
Make sure that you’ve mapped out a secure budget and gone over it with someone experienced.
4) Are You Being Honest With Yourself?
Though this probably seems like a hard question to answer, it’s as easy as asking yourself two questions.
-What’re my motives?
-Do I have any reservations?
If your motives are genuine and you’re trying to progress in your life, then it might be time. However, if you have any reservations, it’s not the best time to move and you should probably wait (duh!).
5) What Do Other Sober Women Say?
Ask your sponsor, peers, family, sober supports, and halfway house managers what they think. If you’re doing the right thing, they’ll be encouraging and excited for you to move on. If they suggestion staying longer, then you should follow their suggestions. Those closest to you see you day in and day out. They’ll be able to tell if you’re ready to move or not.
Read testimonials about living in a Sober Living environment!
by Sally Rosa | Dec 18, 2013 | Addiction Articles, Recovery
What Exactly is a Halfway House?
Simply put, a halfway house is a sober-living environment for addicts and alcoholics in early recovery. Halfway houses help people make the transition from active addiction to responsible member of society.
This transition, from active addiction to the real world, is hard! Looking for a way to support and help ourselves through early sobriety is also pretty tough. Halfway houses help tremendously during early recovery. You can find halfway houses all across the country, but in Delray Beach, FL, they’re a dime a dozen. So, how can you tell the good ones from the bad ones?
How Can Halfway Houses Help?
Halfway houses offer a level of structure and accountability that addicts in early recovery often lack. They offer a safe environment and promote healthy behavior, including:
– Helping to find and maintain employment
– Helping with financial issues (think applying for food stamps, etc.)
– Giving a certain amount of responsibilities (think chores, etc.)
– Providing random drug tests
– Holding regular house meetings (this helps with issues within the house, as well as with personal sobriety)
– Requiring regular meeting attendance (think ninety meetings in ninety days)
– Ensure that you have a sponsor and working the twelve-steps
What Makes a Good Halfway House?
The biggest indicator of a quality halfway house is that it be gender specific. Women with women and men with men! However, there are some larger halfway houses that do offer male and female housing, though they’re usually separated.
A good halfway house has a zero tolerance drug use policy. This means that if a resident relapses, they’re asked to leave, or escorted, off the property immediately.
Structure and consequences also play a key role. To help maintain structure, consequences should be set to reflect it. Consequences are administered on a case-by-case basis, depending on the severity of the situation.
Quality halfway houses have daily curfews. These curfews differ for residents and depend on factors like how long they’ve lived there, and whether it’s a weeknight or the weekend.
The house should be for clients only. This means that while family, sponsors, and sober supports can visit, they need authorization to do so. This maintains privacy, personal safety, and personal valuable safety.
How Much Does a Good Halfway House Cost?
Halfway houses collect rent on a weekly basis. This is beneficial for multiple reasons. First, it helps keep the cost manageable for residents. Second, if a resident relapses and leaves, they won’t lose a ton of money. Rent is generally between $75 and $200 per week.
There’s typically an entrance fee to be admitted to a halfway house, though this isn’t always the case. Entrance fees include first and last week’s rent and a security deposit.
Many, if not all, halfway houses are happy to meet residents at their unique finical level. This may include payment plans, discounts, or even scholarship programs.
