by A Women in Sobriety | Feb 2, 2015 | Addiction Articles, Recovery
Attitude is Everything
Want to know when in my life I was happiest? The answer might surprise you! I was happiest in early-sobriety while living in a halfway house.
Now don’t get me wrong, my life since getting sober has been nothing short of amazing. I’ve gotten to experience all sorts of things I never thought would happen. I’ve been blessed with friends, family, significant others, and a wonderful God. I’ve gotten to travel, to have amazing jobs, and to grow as a woman.
In other words, I truly have a life beyond my wildest dreams!
Still, there was something about early-sobriety and the simplicity of life that stands out. There was something about that period that makes me gooey with nostalgia. Life was simple, easy, and above all else, amazing!
I think it had something to do with my attitude!
Making the Most of What You Have
My attitude was what made this period in my life so wonderful. I was practicing gratitude like never before. I was taking unselfish and constructive action on a daily basis. I was giving instead of taking. Guess what? By giving, I received more than I ever imagined.
Now, there’s a whole debate (which I’ve participated in!) about how gratitude is steeped in action. Let’s set that aside for a moment and simply look at how gratitude changed my life!
The True Meaning of Gratitude
I was nineteen years old and living successfully on my own for the first time ever. I was coming off a one-year relapse. Prior to that year, I’d had almost six months sober. Prior to those six months, I’d been drugging and drinking for seven years.
So, being sober alone was enough to instill gratitude and humility in little old me! I was so grateful for a bed to sleep on, a pillow to lay my head on, and an air conditioner to keep me cool. I was so grateful for my roommates, friends who would answer their phones, and the ability to set past mistakes right. I was so grateful for my sponsor, my sober supports, and my new twelve-step family!
I was even grateful for my responsibilities. That’s something I tend to forget today. I was so excited to do step-work, to go to my job, and to go to school. Today, these things sometimes seem like a chore. In early-sobriety, though, they were blessings of the highest order.
I think that’s why I look back at this period as the happiest in my life. Now, I’d again like to say that my life today is beyond my wildest dreams. It’s truly amazing. Still, there’s always going to be a special place in my heart for those early days spent living in a halfway house.
There’s always going to be a special place in my heart for meeting with my sponsor, scared out of my mind to be completely honest, and walking away feeling light and free. That’s something special, my friends, it really is.
by A Women in Sobriety | Nov 11, 2013 | Body Image / Eating Disorders
Beauty’s in the Eye of the Beholder
When did skinny as a rail, I can see your ribs, you look like a starving Ethiopian become what men want? Back in the day, like way back in the day, larger people were desirable. Having meat on your bones meant you had a lot of money. Who doesn’t like money?
“Man, that guys is like five-hundred pounds! He must have so much money to be that big! Do you know if he’s seeing anyone?” asked Marie Antoinette. “Look at that shorty,” King George would say, “I’m gonna take her to the joust, get her knocked up so she can pop out some lads to sit on my thrown, plow the fields, and lead my troops into battle.” That’s a direct quote, by the way.
Today, Brock the frat boy with sculpted abs and an Audi his daddy paid for, combs the savanna (the quad) at the university his dad is a legacy at, looking for the skinniest, most emaciated woman. No way Brock would every date a woman based on her brains or personality. It’s the same reason Brock won’t drive a Prius. I mean, if he had a smart girl and a Prius, his frat brothers would pick on him. He wouldn’t be cool…but he might be smart!
Women, we don’t get a pass on this one either. We hate it when another woman has better shoes, or a better purse, or better hair. We hate it when Susie has the star quarterback on her arm and we “just” have the second string running-back. Last year, a guy friend broke up with his girlfriend. He told me her response. Ready to be dumbfounded? “You’re not really in the financial position I would hope for and you’re way too skinny.” Really? You said that out loud? So people can hear you?
I guess romantic attraction has always been about looks, status, and money.
Can we blame women and men for starving themselves, doing steroids, buying things they can’t afford, and going to ANY length to appear attractive? No, we can’t! It’s all over TV, the internet, billboards, and everywhere else! Women are made to feel we have to be super skinny to find a guy and be happy! Guys are made to feel like they need to be a six-figure lawyer with abs of granite to find a girl and be happy!
We can’t blame them, but we can stop feeding the delusion machine. We can start talking about how happiness is internal, about how beauty comes from within. The size of a person’s heart is more important than the size of their stomach or thighs! Someone’s weight should be measured in the amount of times they make you laugh!
Happiness isn’t something to be bought, it’s an emotion there’s no quick fix for. That’s why it’s so hard to find. Hell, it should be! You won’t find happiness in a bank account, or good looks. It’s found deep inside a person’s heart. Happiness, love, and beauty are found in the heart and in there – one size fits all!
