by A Women in Sobriety | Mar 26, 2015 | Addiction Articles, Benefits of Sobriety
Recovery Isn’t Easy
On of my favorite sayings goes a little something like this – I’m not telling you it’s going to be easy, I’m telling you it’s going to be worth it.
I’m not sure who first uttered those words. Maybe it was an athlete or a coach or somebody like that. What I am sure of is that saying applies 100% to recovery.
It doesn’t matter if we’re talking about recovery from addiction, from an eating disorder, from self-harm, or from anything else. Recovery is difficult. It’s fraught with emotional valleys and tough terrain.
Of course, recovery’s also filled with the most wonderful moments I could ever imagine. In my experience, though, we remember the challenging times more than the good ones. I think that’s just how life is.
Recovery is Worth It
Even though it’s difficult at times, recovery is SO worth it! I’m preaching to the choir here, I’m sure, but let’s explore some of what makes sobriety so wonderful.
First, and most importantly, there’s the freedom! Imagine being imprisoned for so long that you forget you’re imprisoned. Imagine forgetting what the outside looks like. The sun, the breeze, the bright blue sky…you don’t remember what any of those are.
That’s what active addiction and alcoholism are like! We’re stuck in a self-imposed prison of fear, anger, resentment, self-pity, and selfishness. We’ve been stuck there so long that we’ve forgotten freedom even exists!
So, to get sober is to be free. Even during the tough times, the times when a drink or drug is screaming our name, we’re still free. We’re bathed in the sunlight of the spirit, to quote the Big Book.
Then there’s the relationships recovery gives us! Did you know I never once had a real relationship before getting sober? Well, with the exception of my parents and grandparents. I had selfish motives in mind, coconsciously or unconsciously, during every other interaction with a human being.
And then I got sober. I suddenly realized there was an entire world (really, the entire world!) of people I could help. There was an entire world of people I could talk to with nothing selfish in mind. I could do something for someone and except nothing in return!
That was an eye opener to say the least!
What other blessings did I receive as a result of recovery? Well, they’re pretty much endless! I gained acceptance. If something doesn’t go my way, well, I don’t have to like it. What I do have to do, though, is accept it.
I could never do that in active addiction and alcoholism. I could never accept anything, good or bad! Today, I can accept anything. Sometimes it takes a little kicked and screaming (remember, recovery isn’t easy!), but I’ll eventually feel the truth of it in my bones.
I gained love, which goes back to being selfless. I learned how to love someone with my entire heart. Want to know the secret? It’s as simple as putting someone else’s needs before your own. That’s love! Of course, then we have to watch out for codependency, but that’s an article for another time!
I gained emotional stability. I’m no longer a rollercoaster of up’s and down’s. I’m no longer angry, scared, happy, and sad all within ten seconds! Today, I’m able to experience an emotion without running from it. I’m able to embrace everything this world makes me feel.
Sometimes these feelings are good and sometimes they’re bad. But guess what? I’m able to sit and experience each one. What a blessing!
So remember, it’s not going to be easy, but it’s going to be so worth it!
by Sally Rosa | Jan 14, 2015 | Addiction Articles, Drug Addiction
Fame & Addiction
If you Google almost any celebrity, really almost any celebrity, chances are there’s going to be something about drugs, booze, or harmful behavior close to the top. I just tried it with Dustin Diamond, the most random celebrity I could think of, and immediately found this story.
Dustin Diamond played Screech on Saved By the Bell. He’s been out of the spotlight for years. Yet searching his name turns up numerous articles about his drinking and drugging. Why is that?
Why is it that fame, current or past, seems to breed addiction? Why do we end up tearing apart our pop culture heroes? Why do we get entertainment out of watching them fall into active addiction or mental illness?
I’m asking these questions to myself as much as I’m asking them to you, readers. I’m guilty of all of the above. To make it worse, I’m a woman in recovery! If anyone should have compassion and love for those struggling with addiction, it should be me!
Now don’t get me wrong, I do feel compassion for celebrities who aren’t doing too hot. Remember when Amanda Bynes was all over the news? I found it horrible that we were making entertainment of her mental illness and possible addiction. Still, I found myself unable to turn away.
Why? Why do I, and why do we, do this?
Unfortunately, I don’t have the answer. What I do have are some thoughts that, upon careful reflection and meditation, may lead to an answer.
Why Do We Enjoy Watching Celebrities Fail?
Do we? I don’t know. What I do know is that I take some weird and twisted satisfaction from watching celebrities fall down. I’m almost ashamed to admit it!
You know in the Big Book when it talks about “murder by character assassination?” I think my fascination, all of our fascination really, with watching celebrities struggle is linked to that.
It makes us feel better to put other people down. It takes a lot of spiritual work to get rid of that simple truth. I’ve been sober for almost seven years and I’m still working towards it!
So, watching celebrities falter and suffer from addiction, mental illness, harmful behaviors, etc. may be a form of that. Like I said above, I don’t know for sure.
I do know it’s vital for our sobriety to treat everyone, no matter how high or low, with patience, tolerance, and love. We’re doing a pretty crappy job of that by taking part in the “celebrity shaming” culture.
Does It Makes Them Seem More Human?
Let’s look at Amy Winehouse. She of the smoky voice. She of the multimillion-dollar fortune. She of the addict and alcoholic disease.
I love Amy Winehouse’s music. It hit me right in the chest from the first time I heard it. Plus, she was talking about refusing rehab! That’s something most of us women in recovery can relate to!
image via Billboard
Amy Winehouse seemed larger than life. She seemed like some sort of musical Goddess. Maybe watching her struggle with addiction made her seem more human. Maybe it made her seem more approachable, more relatable.
Again, I don’t know for sure. Maybe this isn’t the case at all. Maybe I’m just off on a tangent that I need to reel myself back in from. God knows that’s happened before!
Do We Secretly Hate Celebrities?
Well, do we? I’ve thought this before. Are we so envious of the rich and famous that we’re secretly rooting for them to fail? Are we so jealous of their status that we take a sick pleasure in watching them fall?
Look, I want to be famous. I’ll just put it out there. I think everyone does. It’s not my primary goal in life (thankfully, my primary goal is to help other women!) But who wouldn’t want millions, billions even, of screaming fans? Who wouldn’t want to never worry about money again? Who wouldn’t want to have their every need taken care of?
Is my desire to be famous the reason I find myself glued to the TV and sites like Perez Hilton? Who knows. What I do know is I need to find a way to treat struggling celebrities with the same compassion and care I treat women in the rooms with.
What’s the Solution?
Yet again, I don’t have an answer to this question. I do have some ideas though.
I think the solution, like the solution to most problems in my life, lies in prayer and meditation. When I stop trying to answer these questions myself, when I give them up to a God of my own understanding, I’ll be able to practice love, tolerance, and patience for everyone.
So, how do I get to this point? Simple. I need to start praying for celebrities. That seems strange, right? I need to bring men and women who have everything they could ever want into my prayer life. Weird world!
It’s true, though. When I have a resentment, I pray for the person I’m resentful towards. I pray for days, weeks, months, however long it takes to get rid of the resentment. Why should celebrities be any different? Just because I don’t have a conscious resentment towards them doesn’t mean I can’t go to God with my issues.
Okay, ladies, starting right now I’m going to turn off my computer and go pray for some celebrities! I’ll let you know how it goes. If you find yourself unable to turn away from the TV, I suggest you try the same!
by Fiona Stockard | Feb 19, 2013 | Addiction Treatment, Drug Addiction
I Will Wait…
I will wait. I will wait for you. These are the words taunting me. Why? Waiting. Hoping. Praying. Healing. Addicts like me don’t easily possess these qualities.
As far back as I can remember, I’ve waited for something. I’ve waited for someone, something, anything to make me better. If I only had this one person, this one thing, this one place, I’d be whole. I’d be complete. I just have to wait. Sometimes, rarely, I’d get what I wanted. I’d be happy for a few minutes. That’s life. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. What if the only thing you want in life, what if the only thing you were waiting for…was someone else’s life?
That’s what I wait for. I wait for the day you get sober. I wait for the day when the lies, the deception, the hurt stops. I wait for the day when I don’t have to stay up, worry, panic. I wait for the day when something more than love binds us together. I wait for the day when our passion for life binds us together.
Addiction brought us together in a different way. We bonded. We nodded. We laughed. Those days are over. Those days have been over for years. Now I wait. I wait for you. I wait for the day when you decide that being happy is more important than being high. I wait for you to live alongside me again.
I wait for the day you call and say “I’m done.” I wait for the day when ask for help. I wait for the day when you scream for help because simply asking doesn’t work. I wait for the day when you wave your white flag so high and so quick that it can’t be mistaken for anything other than a sign of defeat.
I wait and I wait. It’s hard for an addict like me. I have God to guide me through. I have a thousand other distractions. Nothing takes me away from the longest line I’ve ever been in. Waiting.
I will wait…for you.
(Shout out to Mumford and Sons)
