by Sally Rosa | Sep 8, 2014 | Sobriety For Women
Laura’s Story
In 2010, my husband of over six years filed for divorce. He took my name off of our bank accounts, so I couldn’t get money to hire a lawyer.
In court, the judge gave me a continuance to seek council. On the courthouse steps, my ex-husband’s lawyer gave me papers to sign. They were to give my ex-husband temporary custody of our house and children. I didn’t know I could object to these terms.
It was the beginning of the end. I found my children and myself homeless. I began to drink and take Xanax to cope with the stress.
Things Went From Bad to Worse
The following year, in 2011, I lost custody of my children. They were one, two, three, five, and twelve. I’d been a stay at home mother during my marriage. However, the judge ruled my ex-husband was more mentally and financially stable and gave him full custody of our children. I’d been diagnosed Bipolar after the birth of our second child.
I couldn’t accept that I only had visitation rights to my children. The judge gave my ex-husband full custody! I had no rights, only visitation. I was devastated.
A year after my ex and I divorced, he married a much younger woman. They married and moved to Georgia a month later. They moved with my children! My ex-husband gave me three days notice before they left. I scrambled to set up an emergency hearing, but they were gone before anything could be done. My children were enrolled in a Georgia school and no judge was going to take them out of school.
That’s when things really got bad. I couldn’t function any longer. I started drinking from the minute I woke up to the second I passed out. I started smoking pot, taking pills, partying every night, and sleeping with all kinds of men. I started doing whatever I could to not feel. My children were my whole world and without them I had no reason to live.
I couldn’t just pick up and move to Georgia with my children. I’m disabled and receive only $800 a month of support. I was literally out of my mind with grief. I was able to arrange for my children to visit me at Christmas. Watching them leave was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.
Not long after, I received a public intoxication and DUI change. This didn’t help me one bit in court. My lawyer gave up on me. I ended up receiving supervised visitation rights and was ordered to pay my ex-husband $500 a month in child support. For five children, you’re not supposed to pay more than 26% of your income. I was ordered to pay 500 out of 800 dollars!
A Light at Last
I checked myself into treatment in July of 2013. It wasn’t an easy journey. I relapsed the day I got out. I found out that it’s easy to stay sober when you’re in a safe environment. It isn’t so easy when you’re in the real world.
On August 24th, 2013, I went back to residential treatment. This time, I followed residential with an outpatient program. I’ve been sober a year and am fighting to get my children back
I haven’t seen my kids in over a year. As of May 2014, my ex-husband has stopped answering my calls. He won’t let me speak to my children anymore because I can’t pay the full $500 child support payment.
Being sober isn’t easy because it means I have to FEEL the grief and anguish from missing my babies. I know that being sober is the only way I’ll get my children back. This gives me the strength to keep on, one day at a time.
If you’d like more information about Laura and her story, visit her website.
by Sally Rosa | Mar 18, 2014 | Addiction Articles, Sobriety For Women
Why Go To An All Women’s Treatment Center?
Laura suffers from heroin addiction and an eating disorder. She goes to a traditional treatment center and is placed in a male therapist’s caseload. Not only does her therapist have no experience with treating eating disorders, but he’s a guy! He also has thirty people in his caseload, including males. What happens?
If you guessed that Laura opens up a tiny bit, and only a tiny bit, you’d be right!
See, Laura talks about some basic topics. She talks about things like triggers and her insomnia. Because her therapist has no experience with eating disorders, she can get away with acting out. Her quickly dwindling weight goes unnoticed. Also, because of the men in her caseload, Laura never feels comfortable opening up about the trauma, guilt, and shame from her past. She does her thirty days, gets out, and relapses within a week.
This scenario happens everyday in treatment centers across the country. There’s a huge need for women’s addiction treatment.
There are like a thousand reasons why it’s beneficial for women to go to an all women’s treatment center. If we talked about all of them, we’d be here until next Wednesday. Let’s look at the top three.
The Top Three Reasons To Go To a All Women’s Treatment Center
1) Gender Specific Treatment
Addiction is a vicious disease that affects individuals differently, especially women. Women have a difficult time finding a treatment center that’s designed specifically for them, with gender unique therapists and groups. Women’s issues, like co-dependency, eating disorders, domestic violence, abortions, and trauma often get swept under the rug at traditional rehabs. I know I didn’t feel comfortable talking about my history of guilt and shame with guys in the room!
Drug Rehabs that have a comprehensive clinical program specifically tailored to women, it’s easy for the women to feel comfortable and work on our core and underlying issues.
2) Comfortability
There is often a huge discrepancy in what men and women look for while going to treatment. Women often need to feel more comfortable at their treatment center. They need to feel like they’re in a “home away from home.”
Drug Rehabs designed to make a woman as comfortable as possible make the recovery process easier on the woman away from her family and loved ones.
3) Less Distractions
A huge plus for women seeking treatment at an all women’s treatment center is that there are fewer distractions. Often, women tend to act out in early-sobriety. This commonly takes the form of getting into an unhealthy relationship. Getting rid of a common distraction leads to higher success rates!
When looking for an all women’s treatment center, find one that’s individualized and offers specific client-centered services. Recovery from addiction, as well as eating disorders, is difficult! With a strong and caring clinical staff, we promise to provide the structure and support women in recovery need to achieve success!
by A Women in Sobriety | Jul 14, 2013 | Body Image / Eating Disorders
Together, Sobriety for Women and Addicted to Recovery have formed the Addiction & Body Imaging Recovery Project.
We recognize that many women and men experience poor body image. This can take the form of an eating disorder, mental illness, or just plain, old not liking your body. Poor body image can last for a long time, sometimes years!
We plan to share our experience, strength, and hope with all those who suffer from poor body image! In turn, we want to learn from your experience, strength, and hope! Together, Sobriety For Women, Addicted To Recovery, and YOU can bring awareness to body image issues!
To start, we hope you’ll join us by answering the following question:
Do you believe poor body image can trigger an increase in alcohol or drug use?
