by A Women in Sobriety | Aug 13, 2014 | Addiction Articles, Drug Addiction
Written By: Tim Myers
HEY! JIMMY! LEAVE ROB FORD ALONE!
Okay, Mr. Fallon, let me start by saying I love the crap out of you. You’ve reinvented late night television and brought back meaningful content to network TV. I never miss a show.
In fact, your show is the only program my fiancé and I both like! That’s huge, Jimmy. If I have to watch another episode of HGTV’s Property Brothers, I may donate my TV to one of those starving infomercial kids. I feel like being able to watch Real Housewives would do way more for their self-esteem than my ten cents a day. I hate HGTV Jimmy. Those Property Brothers are as entertaining as dead goldfish wearing stupid ties and stupid tool belts.
Jimmy, the point is, this isn’t an attack on you. We love the crap out of you! We watch your show every night before bed. You’re like my security blanket or my skinny little bedtime story.
But, here’s the thing. You need to leave Rob Ford alone.
I know it seems funny. I know the guy is nuts and it’s easy to make fun of him, but you’re hurting him. Yes, Jimmy, you’re killing Rob Ford.
My Name is Tim and I’m an Attention-holic
I’m a recovering alcoholic, and the only thing I crave more than drugs and alcohol is attention. My six siblings refer to me as the golden child. Not because I’m so star spangled awesome, although I certainly am. Mostly, because when I blow all my money on coke, end up in the hospital, in rehab, or in jail, I get all the attention.
Oh, and when I manage to squeak out something to actually be proud of, I GET ALL THE ATTENTION. If I kick a dog or if I kiss a dog, it’s all about me. This teaches me nothing. This allows me to frolic through life untouched by consequences.
That’s what you’re doing to Rob Ford. The more crack he smokes, the more attention you give him. The more stupid s**t he does, the more you talk about him. The more you talk about him, the more attention he gets, the more attention he gets, the more famous he becomes, the more famous he becomes, the more money he makes. So, guess what Mayor Ford’s going to do when he’s no longer famous or trending on Google… that’s right, smoke more crack.
You’ve taught him that, Jimmy. Our media’s taught him that. We’ve all taught him that. No one knew who Rob Ford was then he smoked crack. Now, AMERICA LOVES HIM.
Rob Ford could be on a poster, promoting crack.
“Hi, I’m mayor Rob Ford. Do you ever sit around thinking, “man my life sucks!” Have you ever wished for a life of excitement and fame? Do you crave attention and wish that everyone knew your name? Well, if so, you’re not alone! I used to suffer from the same feeling…until I started using this amazing new product called Crack! It’s simple, for just 365 daily installments of $100, you can turn your life upside down. You’ll find yourself on the cover of papers like Busted, Police Beat, Missing Persons, Wanted, Home and Crack-Den, and many more! Who knows, you could end up on an episode of Cops, go viral on YouTube, or end up with nightly segments on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon. So, if you’re looking to change your life, try crack, just like I did!”
If you leave him alone, Rob Ford is just a normal sick and suffering addict. If you continue to make jokes about him, he’ll become a rich and famous sick and suffering addict. Crack made him famous, Jimmy. He associates crack with fame. He’s a dog whose mouth salivates when you show him crack.
What’s My Point?
I got sober three and a half years ago, after ten years of trying. Finally, my parents and siblings turned away, and I was motivated to get help. They didn’t help me into rehab and they didn’t come to the hospital. They cut ties and I was forced to help myself. I was forced to find peace inside of myself, not rely on the attention of others. That’s how it works.
Please Jimmy, leave Rob Ford alone. You’re widely known as the nicest man on the planet. You shouldn’t be perpetuating this disease.
Jimmy, if Rob Ford were to die from this disease, you’d feel awful. I don’t want that. Do the right thing. If Rob Ford starts to do well, support him. Bring him on your show. Tell him you’re proud of him. Give him attention for doing the right thing. Make him famous for turning his life around. Make him salivate when he see’s a picture of himself smiling. No one should be famous for smoking crack.
by Fiona Stockard | Aug 7, 2014 | 12 Steps, Addiction Articles
Written By: Fiona Stockard
The Big Book Broken Down – Part Two
Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who help each other to recover from alcohol and drug addiction. It was founded in June of 1935, just celebrated its seventy-ninth anniversary, and boasts over two million members.
AA’s central text is the Big Book. With a sponsor and a Big Book, AA members work the twelve steps, and “recover from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body” (title page).
Today, I’ll be breaking down chapter two, There Is a Solution.
There Is a Solution
The chapter opens by saying, “We, of Alcoholics Anonymous, know thousands of men and women who were once just as hopeless as Bill. Nearly all have recovered. They have solved the drink problem” (17).
This is the great promise of AA, a SOLUTION to alcoholism. AA doesn’t claim to keep only certain members sober. They don’t offer single digit recovery statistics. Rather, Alcoholics Anonymous lets people RECOVER from alcoholism.
Recover. As in get better. As in “the problem has been removed” (85). Of course, this only happens after some serious work with a sponsor and god!
The chapter goes on, “But the ex-problem drinker who has found this solution, who is properly armed with facts about himself, can generally win the entire confidence of another alcoholic in a few hours” (18).
This is another pillar of AA, the idea that alcoholics can help fellow alcoholics, in ways no one else can. I’ve had a ton of great therapists, but they didn’t get me sober. Hell, they didn’t even help me to cut down.
Once I met this ex-problem drinker, who ended up being my sponsor, I started to change. Of course, I didn’t trust her all at once. She established trust by telling me her crazy experiences. She told me about how badly she wanted to stop drinking and using, but couldn’t. She shared her experiences, emotions, feelings, and thoughts, which were just like mine!
On the next page, it says, “We feel that elimination of our drinking is but a beginning. A much more important demonstration of our principles lies before us in our respective homes, occupations and affairs” (19).
I’ll explore this idea in greater detail in later columns. For now though, it’s important to remember that abstinence itself is only a beginning. Recovery is about much more than not drinking. It’s about living a life that benefits other people and society at large. I mean, how selfish and stupid would it be to get sober and still be an asshole!
Next, the chapter lays out some of the different types of drinkers. They propose there are moderate drinkers, hard drinkers, and alcoholics. The moderate drinker is your typical social drinker. They can take or leave booze. The hard drinker suffers consequences from their drinking, but ultimately is able to stop. The alcoholic though, pardon my French, but they’re f**ked. That is, they’re f**ked until they find a solution!
Maybe the solution to alcoholism is will power. Maybe alcoholics just don’t have enough will power. That makes sense, right? Nope. AA says, “ Our so called will power becomes practically nonexistent. We are unable, at certain times, to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago. We are without defense against the first drink” (24).
Okay, that makes sense. It’s definitely true to my experience. So will power doesn’t work. What about embarrassing and painful memories? What’s that they always say in rehab? Play the tape through? Wait, so that won’t work either?! What if I go to a lot of therapy and counseling? Surely a better understanding of myself will work.
Nope. The chapter goes on to say, “Above all, he believed he had acquired such a profound knowledge of the inner workings of his mind and its hidden springs that relapse was unthinkable. Nevertheless, he was drunk in a short time” (26).
Okay, I’m screwed. I can’t use will power and I can’t use therapy. What can I use to get better?
The answer’s simple. Remember when I talked about RECOVERING a little while ago? Well, according to AA, “ There is a solution. Almost none of us liked the self-searching, the leveling of our pride, the confession of shortcomings which the process requires for its successful consummation. But we saw that it really worked in others” (25).
The process they’re talking about is the twelve-steps. Through working the steps (all of the steps, in the correct order, under the guidance of a sponsor!!), we recover. Simple as that.
by A Women in Sobriety | Aug 4, 2014 | Addiction Articles, Drug Addiction
Another High Profile Addict
Dustin Johnson, one of the best golfers playing today, is an addict.
Now, this may be a strong proclamation, hell it may even sound like libel, but it’s absolutely true. Johnson recently failed a drug screen after testing positive for cocaine. This is Johnson’s third failed drug screen in five years. In 2009, he tested positive for marijuana. In 2012, he tested positive for cocaine.
After this most recent failed drug screen, Johnson’s management company issued a statement that he would be taking a sabbatical from professional golf – “I will use this time to seek professional help for personal challenges I have faced.”
Convinced Yet?
All of this is to say that addiction doesn’t discriminate. It affects those from the bottom of the barrel, right up to those at the very top. You could say it’s an equal opportunities offender.
Now, at this point, you still might not be convinced that Johnson is an addict. He’s a careless, professional athlete, you may be thinking. He screwed up a couple times, but who hasn’t, you may be saying. Let’s take a minute to define addiction, and look at how it commonly manifests.
What is Addiction? How Does it Manifest?
Addiction is defined as a chronic, progressive illness, characterized by an individual’s repeated use of a substance, despite negative consequences.
Okay, so addiction is chronic, or long-term. Three failed drug tests in five years sounds chronic to me. While he hasn’t been shot-gunning beers and doing blow for decades, five years of drug abuse is long enough to do major damage to one’s body, family, reputation, etc.
Addiction is progressive. This means that as time passes, it gets worse. In 2009, Johnson was smoking weed. By 2012, he had moved onto cocaine. Drug progression? Check.
Addiction is characterized by the repeated use of a substance, despite negative consequences. Well, Johnson continued to use despite failing drug screens. He continued to use despite knowing he’d be tested again. He continued to use despite being a high profile athlete. He risked current and future endorsements, not to mention his reputation. Sounds like there was repeated use, despite numerous negative consequences.
My Experience, Strength, and Hope
While I’m by no means a professional athlete, I certainly am an addict. Today though, I’m a sober addict. I’m in recovery and have been for quite some time.
There’s this tricky part of addiction, the part where the addict doesn’t think they have a problem. There are innumerable reasons for this. For me, it was the people I used with. They used as much, and as hard, as I did. They shot dope, smoked crack, and engaged in crime, right alongside me. This allowed me to trick myself into thinking everyone used like I did. Obviously, this wasn’t the case at all.
After years spent destroying myself, I realized that MAYBE, just maybe, I did have a drug problem. Then a funny thing happened, I realized I’d always known I was an addict. I’d just stuffed that knowledge down inside and covered it with a film of opiates and crack. This knowledge allowed me to come into recovery, which was only the start of my journey.
I relapsed a handful of times. Remember, addiction is chronic. It doesn’t just disappear overnight. Addicts need to do some HARD work to get better. In the beginning, I wasn’t ready to do this work. So, I got high. After enough pain, I did the work. I went to treatment, got involved in the twelve-steps, and attained peace of mind.
Okay….So?
Listen, I’m not Dustin Johnson. That much should be obvious! I’m not a professional athlete and I’m definitely not rich. I don’t know who Johnson uses with, or how his loved ones feel about his use. I do know a few things though.
I know how Johnson uses. I know how much he doesn’t want to use. I know the lies he tells himself.
I know how baffled he is after he does get high. I know that feeling of complete disappointment with yourself. I know that self-hatred.
Hell, I bet I can even tell you exactly what he says after a binge – “That was f*cking horrible. I gotta do something…okay, no more hard drugs. Just booze.” I know all this because I’ve been there.
So, from one addict to another, get some help Dustin. You don’t even again have to feel this crappy. There’s another way of life and it’s so much better than active addiction. There’s hope, I promise you that Dustin, there’s so much hope.
by Fiona Stockard | Jul 7, 2014 | Addiction Articles, Benefits of Sobriety
Written By: Katie Schipper
How Living Your Dreams Can Be a Real Thing!
Paralyzing Fear Can Stifle All Dreams
Fear is the ultimate culprit when it comes to living your dream. This doesn’t just apply to addicts and alcoholics in early-recovery, it applies to everyone. Fear can be totally paralyzing. There’s the fear of failure, the fear of what other people will think, the fear of what might go wrong. Then there’s the power of regret, which is really just a fear of the past combined with a fear that you’re not good enough. All of those fears and their offshoots are responsible for killing dreams before they even have a chance to see the light of day. Sounds kind of bleak, huh? Fear not, there are some ways to keep your dreams alive!
Watch Jim Carrey’s amazing speech about living your dreams
Stop Living in Regret, Start Living Your Dreams
The first thing to remember is not to focus too much on eliminating fear and regret. If you focus on the negative side of things, that’s where your energy is. You’re eliminating some of the focus you could give to living your dreams. So, don’t freak over the fact that you have fears and if you’re living with regret. Everyone has fear. I repeat: EVERYONE HAS FEAR. It’s in our DNA. It’s hardwired in our brains. We feel fear as an instinct designed to help us survive.
On a personal level, you can decide if fear drives you or you can acknowledge it and grow. So, focus on the positive. This means whatever your dream is, start believing it now. You can start living your dreams, today! Tell yourself your dream is already real. If your dream is to go back to school, believe that you’re a student. Tell yourself you’re a student and guess what? You are! Say it out loud and have faith in it.
See how one act of kindness helped a homeless man’s dreams come true
Living Your Dreams Starts With Saying It Until You Believe It
So, you repeat your dreams until you believe them. What then? You have to actually do it! Faith and intention are vital. They motivate, compel, and drive us, but you still have to get off your a*s and do it.
You can’t just sit around dreaming about something and think it will happen without any work. That’s a fantasy and a daydream. You can do anything you dream is possible. The problem is that without meaningful, consistent, and focused effort all those dreams will remain nothing more than that, dreams. Set goals and work towards them.
Focus on the Now!
There’s nothing that can be done today, tomorrow, or the next day that’ll change the past. So, stop living with regret! Sometimes this is hard. Hell, often it’s hard. From the right perspective though, it’s incredibly empowering.
If you fully believe, understand, and accept that you can’t change what’s already happened, then you also have power to put all your focus and energy into right now. What can you do differently today so you don’t ever have to feel like you want to change the past? How can you learn to turn your regret into motivation to start living the life you’ve dreamed of?
These gifts aren’t reserved for an exclusive group. If you have the willingness to state your dream, to believe in your dream, and to take action towards making your dream a reality, then you can live any life you choose. You can live without being a slave to fear and regret.
Are you a women whose dreams have been destroyed by drugs and alcohol? Seek help at a treatment center for women
