by Fiona Stockard | Jan 12, 2015 | Addiction Articles, Recovery
By: Tim Myers
Ten Strange Sober Life Hacks
Go to meetings, don’t pick up a drink, stay away from bars, and call somebody when you feel like drinking. Yes, those are the obvious things you can do to keep yourself standing up straight, away from a drink, and out of jail.
Everyone knows those, but not everybody knows the lesser-known tricks of the sober game.
There are some simple, weird, and crazy things that, if performed each day, will help reprogram your brain and set you on a path of health, happiness, and respect.
Before we get started – a quick shout out to the haters. These are to be used in conjunction with a twelve-step program. So, now that the disclaimer has been stated, I present to you:
Ten weird things you can do to stay sober!
10) Take the Long Way to Work
Here you are, one day sober and driving to work. You’re passing the bar you drank at before work, the bar you drank at during lunch, and the bar you went to after you skipped out of work a half hour early.
You’re used to this path, even if the bars don’t dot the hillside. You know this path. Today, your first day sober, is about doing things you don’t know how to do. So, take the long way to work. See new things. Change your path and you’ll change your brain.
9) Flick Your Forehead
Feel like a drink? Flick your forehead.
Thinking about snagging some pills? Flick your forehead.
Want to call your ex and tell her he ruined your whole life? Flick your forehead.
This simple little trick will train your confused and addiction-riddled brain to associate thoughts of bad behavior with pain. This practice will start to tear down the idea that it feels good to drink, use, and yell at people.
8) Sing Very Loud
If you can’t sing well, sing loud. If you can sing well, sing even louder!
What the hell, crank up some Kelly Clarkson and let the world know that “you can breath for the first time!” You’re not drinking anymore, so you’re “So, moving on.”
Singing will make you happy. It releases endorphins. It trains your body to recognize your behaviors with bringing joy. Music changes our thought patterns quicker than most other form of therapy. The more music you associate with your newfound happy, skippy, sober life, the better.
7) Dance Before You Get in the Shower
Get that blood pumping! Get that smile working! Take a minute just for yourself to be free, silly, happy, and alone.
We drunks and druggies associate being alone with bad things, but this isn’t always true. Being alone and dancing can twist your brain away from the idea that when your alone, you’re unloved and sad. Dancing alone each day will let you know that being alone is safe, healthy, and fun!
6) Replace Every Swear Word You Say With the Word Love
Don’t be so negative all the time. Yes, people act like jerks when driving, but as soon as you flip them off or drop an f-bomb, you start to feel guilty.
So, that bass-thumping, window-tinted, rap-blaring, big-rimed Toyota Corolla that sounds like the engine is going to explode, driven by a one hundred and thirty pound Eminem look alike, cuts you off…what do you do?
Instead of yelling, “I’m going to kill you,” say “I’M GOING TO LOVE YOU FOREVER!!!”
Don’t say, “Go f-yourself,” say “GO LOVE YOURSELF!”
You can even get creative with it. Try something like this, “YOU CUT ME OFF BUT THAT IS OK I DON’T REALLY MIND I STILL LOVE YOU JUST FOR BEING YOU!”
Do you mean any of these nice things? Absolutely not. But after you say it, you’ll feel good and start to believe it.
5) Eat Dessert for Breakfast and Eat Breakfast for Dinner
Again, change the way you do things. So what, your body has been through a war already. Ice cream for breakfast won’t kill you. Bacon for dinner? Do it! Just do things different and have fun with it!
This will make all the other new things you do seem fun too. Hell, you could even invite friends over for a morning piece of cake and coffee. Think how great you’ll feel heading to work!
4) Write a Nice Poem about Someone You Hate
Okay, I hate Carly.
So, a good way to not hate her is to kill her…but that’s wrong in the eyes of God, and everyone, and I’ll go to jail. I’ll write a poem about her instead!
Make a list of all the things that Carly has going on and focus your poem on only those wonderful qualities. But Carly hasn’t one single good thing going on? Guess what? You’re wrong! Everyone has at least three positive things to focus on, I promise you.
3) Tell a Joke to the Cashier at Wal-Mart
Do you know how bad it must be to work at Wal-Mart? So, try and make someone else’s life better, if only for a few seconds.
Think of a joke and tell the cashier. If they don’t laugh or smile, so what? You tried and they’ll be glad that someone tried to make their day better.
2) Buy a Random Person a Lottery Ticket
Do it for no reason other than doing it. Yes, they could win a billion dollars. Yes, you won’t. It doesn’t matter.
Doing random awesome things for people is the best way to get outside yourself and make others feel good. You never know what’s going on in the life of a stranger. You never know what a simple one-dollar gesture will do.
Win or lose it will be the best $1 you ever spent.
1) Scream
Alone, outside, just do it. One long and angry scream. Then, move on with your day because things are starting to look pretty good. Soon there will be nothing to yell about!
by Fiona Stockard | Jan 7, 2015 | Addiction Articles, Recovery
Vitamins Help in Early-Sobriety!
Getting sober is tough! If it were easy, everyone would do it! The reality of getting sober is that it’s a scary, overwhelming, and often painful process. Being forced to sober up after years (or decades!) of drinking and drugging isn’t fun.
Fortunately there are some things us drunks and addicts can do to improve our early-sobriety experience. These are things like eating healthy, seeking outside help to deal with unexpected emotions, and taking vitamins.
Today, I’m going to focus on the benefits of taking vitamins in early-recovery. After all, anything that we, as newly sober women, can do to feel better and help our bodies return to health is key!
Find a list of common vitamins and how they can help during early-sobriety below!
Multivitamins
A once daily multivitamin is the easiest and most common type of vitamin to take during early-recovery. It packs in it all kinds of vitamins and minerals our bodies desperately need after an extended period of drug and alcohol abuse.
Most multivitamins contain a mix of, well, multiple vitamins! These may include: vitamin C, a whole host of B vitamins, and vitamins H, A, E, D, and K. They also commonly include potassium iodide, zinc, calcium, magnesium, manganese, and iron.
Thiamin
Thiamin is also known as vitamin B1. It plays a huge role in boosting immune and mental health. It also gives energy and focus, like most B vitamins, and helps to reduce stress.
Thiamin helps our bodies process carbohydrates. When we’re in active alcoholism, we don’t get a ton of carbs. We’re mainly surviving off sugar from booze. I was anyway!
So, in early-sobriety, taking thiamin regularly can help restore our liver to health quicker than it would be otherwise. Thiamin can also make this freighting and stressful period a bit more manageable!
B-Complex Vitamins
B-complex vitamins are all about energy! Do you find yourself dragging in early-sobriety? Are you tired after years of getting drunk? Fear not, simply take a B-complex!
B-complex vitamins typically include: thiamin (B1), riboflavin (B2), niacin (B3), biotin, folic acid, B12, and vitamins C and E.
The health benefits of B-complex vitamins are nearly endless. They help to produce healthy new blood cells, protect against free radicals, prevent heart disease, boost good cholesterol (HDL), prevent acne, boost reproductive hormones, regulate sleep and mood, promote hair, nail, and skin health, prevent memory loss, and even boost other vitamins (for example, B12 helps B9 which then helps iron carry oxygen to other cells).
Whew, that’s a lot of good stuff! It’s important to note that taking a B-complex isn’t guaranteed to make all the above happen. Rather, B-complex vitamins promote general health throughout the body.
It’s plain to see there are a lot of reasons to take B-complex vitamins!
Niacin & Glutamine
You know those extreme alcohol cravings we sometimes get in early-recovery? Well, one of their causes is low blood sugar. Our bodies adjust to taking in hundreds, even thousands, of calories of sugar from booze. Once we stop drinking, our bodies don’t know what to do without this sugar!
Niacin (also known as B3, see above for some more B vitamin benefits!) helps to regulate blood sugar levels. Glutamine is an essential amino acid that also helps regulate blood sugar.
Having an early-sobriety craving? Well, first call your sponsor, sober supports, and pray. Then pop a B3 vitamin and a glutamine tablet. Chances are your craving will subside in a matter of minutes!
Vitamin C
And here we come to the granddaddy of all vitamins, vitamin C. Vitamin C is an antioxidant that promotes general body and brain health. It’s also been shown to help ease the physical withdrawal symptoms associated with opiates, alcohol, and benzo’s.
Vitamin C helps to restore hair, skin, and organs to health. In addition to all the above, vitamin C may also help the body fight immune system deficiencies (from the mild, like a cold, to the drastic, like Hep C and HIV), ease symptoms associated with cardiovascular disease and eye disease, and even prevent skin from wrinkling as quickly.
Mark Moyad, a doctor from the University of Michigan, had the following to say about vitamin C:
“Higher blood levels of vitamin C may be the ideal nutrition marker for overall health” (WebMD).
What’s Your Point?
That’s a great question, dear readers! Vitamins are extremely beneficial and important to take. Am I going to ask you to finish your broccoli next? Well, broccoli does offer some interesting health benefits…
All jokes aside, taking vitamins in early-sobriety is important for the simple fact that they help. I destroyed my body for years with drugs and booze. Even after getting sober, I still ate unhealthy foods and didn’t take good care of myself.
So, when I finally woke up and realized the substantial benefits that taking a few vitamins each morning offered, I jumped right on the train. Why is it important to take vitamins during early-sobriety? Try it out and let me know how much better you feel! You’ll have answered your own question!
by Sally Rosa | Jan 2, 2015 | Addiction Articles, Sobriety For Women
What’s Your New Year’s Resolution?
As 2021 winds down and 2022 fast approaches (by the time you guys read this it’ll probably be 2022 already!), we’re confronted with the dreaded New Year’s resolution.
Why are they so dreaded though? They shouldn’t be! I mean, our New Year’s resolutions are supposed to be goals to work towards during the rest of the year. They’re the first sentence in the book of a new year. What are you going to write?
That’s how I’ve always looked at them anyway. It seems like most of the world looks at them a bit differently. New Year’s resolutions seem to be sources of stress, and eventually guilt, for everyone, but particularly for women in sobriety.
This brings me back to the question of why? Why do we freak out over what to focus on in the new year? Why do beat ourselves up if we don’t reach a certain weight or go to the gym a certain number of times per week? It seems kind of silly if you ask me!
With that in mind, I’ve come up with some tips for practical, realistic, and healthy New Year’s resolutions. I hope they help you wonderful ladies make yours!
Be Specific
While thinking about how to best make a healthy New Year’s resolution, I kept coming back to this idea. How can we tell if we’re succeeding at our goal, if our goal isn’t specific and measurable?
It’s great to say “I want to reach out to more people,” but what does that look like? How will you reach out to more people? What constitutes “more people?” Ten, twenty, fifty, a hundred people?
Be specific! It’ll pay off when we’re able to measure how much progress we’ve made over the year!
Plus, making a specific and measurable resolution may even help us to avoid unhealthy ones. It’s easy to say “I want to lose weight,” but when we get specific, we can see that losing weight isn’t as important as building friendships or getting outside our comfort zones!
Be Realistic
This goes hand-in-hand with being specific. Make a realistic New Year’s resolution! After all, it’s great to say “this year I’m going to make $10 million,” but how realistic is that?
We set ourselves up for failure when we make unrealistic goals, both as New Year’s resolutions and in general. So, let’s avoid that! Instead of trying to make $10 million, let’s set our sights on getting a raise.
What’s that you say? Oh, yeah, be specific! Let’s say, “I’d like to get a 10% raise during the new year.” Sounds good to me!
Pray & Meditate Before Making a Resolution
This isn’t so much for New Year’s resolutions, but for everything! When we pray and meditate, our thoughts and actions are healthier. When we seek out God’s will, instead of our own, our thoughts and actions are selfless. When we seek to give, rather than receive, we get back so much more!
Prayer and meditation are key to making healthy choices. Why not ask what God wants us to do in 2015? Right away, that’ll eliminate some obvious and unhealthy resolutions like losing weight. Would God rather we lose weight or help another woman? I’m guessing the answer is help another woman!
Don’t Include Weight
This is probably the hardest suggestion to incorporate into any New Year’s resolution. It is for me, anyway!
It seems like our culture is constantly telling us to lose weight and be skinnier. So, it makes sense that a popular, probably the most popular, New Year’s resolution is to lose weight.
And there’s nothing wrong with wanting to shed a few pounds. But when we make this our primary focus, our end-all goal for entire year, well, then we run into trouble. Especially as women in recovery from substance abuse and harmful behavior!
Don’t Beat Yourself Up
I can’t stress this enough. Don’t beat yourself up about not sticking to a New Year’s resolution! Oh, it’s March and you only reached out to five people? Don’t sweat it! You have the entire year.
Now, there’s a fine line between not beating yourself up and slipping into apathy or avoidance. There is for me, anyway. I’m an alcoholic who tends to think in extremes. I’m either all in or all out. I’m either beating myself up or not caring at all.
I need to find a medium. We, as women growing in the image and likeness of our creator, need to find a medium. That’s a whole other conversation, though!
Don’t be too hard on yourself if you’re struggling to accomplish your New Year’s resolution. Remember, it’s just a resolution. It’s not do or die. It’s not the end of the world if we don’t accomplish everything we want to.
It’s the attempt that’s important. It’s the fact that we’ve striving to be better today than we were yesterday that’s important!
Is your resolution to get sober, but you don’t have health insurance? Learn how to pay for rehab without insurance call today
by Sally Rosa | Sep 3, 2014 | 12 Steps, Addiction Articles
Recovery Can Be Overwhelming
Getting sober is scary! We’re thrown into a new location, told to change people, places and things (this means change everything!), and begin to reach out to other sober people. We begin to experience feelings again.
Basically, we experience everything we avoided through our addiction! Fear not Ms. Freshly Sober, Sobriety For Women is here to help. We’ve whipped up a handy guide to the common types of twelve-step fellowships and twelve-step meetings. We’ve even sprinkled in some basic meeting etiquette.
Sounds like one less thing to freak out over. Now, get back to doing step work!
Alcoholics Anonymous
AA is the original twelve-step fellowship and has been around since 1935. Hmm, they’ve been around for over seventy-five years? They must be doing something right!
A common misconception about AA is that it’s only for people with a drinking problem. This isn’t the case at all. I’m a certified junkie and I go to mainly AA meetings. I work AA steps and sponsor the AA way. Just because you’re an addict, doesn’t mean you can’t go to Alcoholics Anonymous.
Here’s where that meeting etiquette I talked about earlier comes in. I don’t talk about drugs during AA meetings. When I share, I say things like “my drinking was out of control,” or “alcohol worked for me, until it didn’t!”
I swap the word drugs for alcohol and it works fine. When I’m doing step-work with a girl, well, then I’m very open about my addiction. During meetings though? I respect the house I’m in.
Plus, alcohol is only mentioned once during the twelve-steps. The rest is all about us and how we relate to other people.
Narcotics Anonymous
NA was founded in 1953 and is over sixty years old. Again, those recovering addicts must be doing something right!
NA is, generally speaking, a bit looser than AA. Obviously, you can talk freely about drugs. Don’t start telling war stories though, or you’ll get chewed out by old-timers pretty quick!
I’ve noticed, through my personal experience with NA, they generally don’t dive into the steps. They have a saying, which goes a little something like “we didn’t get sick overnight and we’re not going to get better overnight, either.”
Personally, I don’t agree with this. I think we need to start to get better right away. Still, NA works for hundreds of thousands of people. If you’re looking for a slow and steady approach, NA may be right for you!
Cocaine Anonymous
An AA old-timer founded CA in 1982. While CA is a separate fellowship from AA, they work steps from AA’s Big Book and practice AA sponsorship.
Truthfully, I haven’t been to a ton of CA meetings. The one’s I have attended are lively and solution oriented. That means members share about how to get better, rather than reminisce about drugs or booze.
CA seems to mirror AA in that members don’t need to have only a cocaine addiction. In fact, most people I’ve met at CA were opiate addicts.
Other Anonymous Fellowships
While AA, NA, and CA are the most prevalent twelve-step fellowships, there are about five thousand others. These include: Al-Anon (for those affected by someone else’s drinking), Gambler’s Anonymous (GA), Sex and Love Anonymous (SLA), Codependents Anonymous (CODA), and Overeater’s Anonymous (OA).
Types of Meetings
Within the above fellowships, there are many different types of meetings. Let’s look at some.
Open Meeting
This simply means that anyone, addict or alcoholic or otherwise, can attend. Want to bring your significant other to a meeting? Take them to an open meeting.
Closed Meeting
This means that you have to me a member to attend.
The third tradition of most twelve-step fellowships reads, “the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking [or using].”
So, to attend closed meetings, you have to have a desire to stop destructive behavior. You don’t, and this is important so pay attention, you don’t have to identify as an addict or alcoholic.
All meetings are either open or closed. So, open and closed are sort of the macro-categories of twelve-step meetings.
Speaker Meeting
Speaker meetings are where someone speaks. Simple enough, right? In these meetings, the speaker can share their story, or speak on a particular topic.
Literature Meeting
This is a meeting where the topic is based around specific literature.
This literature can be fellowship approved (AA’s Big Book) or unapproved (AA’s “Little Red Book”).
Literature meetings can have a speaker, be a discussion meeting, or be any other type of meeting.
Discussion Meeting
These are meetings where a topic is discussed. The topic can be about anything. Common topics include gratitude, resentment, relapse, spirituality, etc.
Step Meeting
Step meetings are when the topic is one of the twelve-steps. These meetings can take the form of speaker meetings, discussion meetings, or literature meetings.
Anniversary Meeting
This is a meeting where addicts and alcoholics celebrate their sober anniversaries. Typically, the last meeting each month is an anniversary meeting. Medallions are given to anyone with a year or more. There’s cake and sweets.
Anniversary generally don’t take up the entire meeting. The rest of the meeting is whatever type of meeting it normally is.
Now that you know all about the different types of fellowships and meetings, get out there and start getting better!
