Is Alcoholism a Disease?

Is Alcoholism a Disease?

Addiction is a gruesome little fellow, huh? He comes in, takes over our lives, and ruins our dreams. He makes us believe he isn’t a disease. He makes us believe he’s just a phase, just a problem.

In treatment, my therapist said addiction and alcoholism were diseases. I didn’t agree. She compared alcoholism to cancer. I thought to myself, “I wish I knew this growing up! I could have gotten my parents off my back!” I could only dream of using this disease excuse when my parents were pointing flashlights in my eyes to check the size of my pupils.

I argued with my sponsor that alcoholism and addiction weren’t diseases. I thought a disease was something physically wrong with you. After all, I’d seen my grandfather fight, and beat, cancer. I watched my grandmother die of throat cancer. Now cancer, that’s a disease. Alcoholism? Addiction? They’re not diseases. It’s just a phase I’m going through, I’ll be fine.

I Started to Change My Mind

The more I read the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, the more I began to change my mind. I started to look at alcoholism and addiction as diseases. I learned that my disease centered in my mind, not my body. I could be entirely normal in all other respects, but when it came to drug and alcohol? Well, then my thinking was simply wrong.

The idea I could control my use is a symptom of my disease. The idea that it’d be different this time is a symptom of my disease. The idea that I had a choice in whether to drink or not, that’s a symptom of my disease too.

I began to learn I was INSANE. I began to learn that even though days, weeks, months, and years pass, my addict mind still exists. The only way I can continue being sober is to understand that I’m sick and take my “medicine.”

I believe everyone has their own medicine. If you’re diabetic, you need insulin. If you have an infection, you need antibiotics. If you’re an alcoholic, you need the twelve-steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. I work hard to keep my demons at bay. I accept that this recovery gig is a lifelong process.

Alcoholism is a Disease!

AA’s Big Book speaks of a jumping off point. This is when we can’t image life with, or without, alcohol and drugs. We have two choices. We can do some work (get a sponsor and work the twelve-steps), or continue drinking and using (to the “bitter end” as the book says).

Today it’s easy for me to say I’ll do the necessary work. This is because the bitter end is just that – a bitter, lonely, and destructive end. To put it another way, I do the work because alcohol beat me up enough. When I was in early sobriety though? Well, that’s another story. Many of us addicts and alcoholics decide to go to that bitter end. We decide this because alcoholism and addiction are diseases. They’re disease that make us think we’re different. They make us think a lonely death is better than a period of uncomfortable growth.

Addiction and alcoholism are diseases that affect our minds. They warp our thinking. They also affect the lives that we touch. They destroy families, romantic relationships, friendships, and countless other things.

Once someone starts to recovery from alcoholism, things are much different. Today, I’m a stronger and more faithful person because of my disease. Looking into the abyss, well, it changes you. We can look into that abyss and get better, or we can look into it and die.

The choice is ours. There’s always hope, ladies. We can ALWAYS recovery from our addiction. We can ALWAYS recovery from our alcoholism. We can ALWAYS bounce back. We can ALWAYS get better. There’s doesn’t always have to be a bitter end.

What to Do If You’re a Chronic Relapser

What to Do If You’re a Chronic Relapser

Written By: Fiona Stockard

Who is a Chronic Relapser?

Once upon a time, I dubbed myself a chronic relapser. Maybe you’ve heard the term?

It’s someone who’s trying to get sober, but can’t stop using. It’s someone who falls into a vicious cycle of going to meetings, using, going to detox, going to meetings, using, going to detox, and finally declaring, “why even bother trying to get sober?”

Potential and the Chronic Relapser

My life wasn’t always this way.

Years ago, I was a kid with so much potential. Many months ago I was in treatment. I did my thirty days. Hell, I even quit smoking and was nominated floor president!

So, what happened? I left treatment and refused to take any suggestions. My heart wasn’t in recovery. I had reservations, stipulations, and speculations. I was nineteen. I never used a needle. I was jealous of thirty-five year olds getting sober. I was jealous they had more years of using than I did! To put it another way, I was battling my demons and not talking to anyone about it.

There were two ways my situation could have played out.

Scenario One: the Road to Happy Destiny

I could have talked to someone about how I felt. I could have gotten a real sponsor, instead of the sponsor I called only once (to cry about my latest arrest). If I was honest about my feelings, I’d have quickly learned that most people new to recovery have the exact same thoughts!

I could’ve taken suggestions, even though I didn’t want to. I could’ve gone to a halfway house and lived with people just like me. I could’ve tried prayer, whether or not I believed in it. Instead, I spent countless hours looking for proof. By doing so, I missed God (or Higher-Power,if you please) altogether.

Scenario Two: Going on to the Bitter End

I DON’T RECOMMEND THIS!!

This was the scenario I chose instead. It’s a terrible and unhappy life. Unfortunately, this disease is cunning, baffling, and powerful. So, off I went.

I teased myself at first, saying things like “I’ll call my sponsor later,” and “I don’t really need to go to that meeting. Maybe I needed the pain. Maybe I needed to get it out of my system. Sometimes we need to be beaten completely down. Later, I learned we hit bottom whenever we stop digging!

I think the most important thing I should’ve done was reach out to people. I should have been open, honest, and upfront with other women.

Honesty and the Chronic Relapser

I’m a true believer that if you’re not ready to get sober, you’re not going to get sober. There’s nothing anyone can do. There’s nothing anyone can say. There’s no place, thing, or person that’ll save you.

If you’re done though, if you’re ready to get sober, there’s hope. For the women who’s fed up with living a sh**ty life, there’s so much hope. Once I was done using, I got honest quick. From this honesty, all sorts of remarkable relationships began to spring up in my life. Even though things around me didn’t change a lot, things inside of me did. I felt like a new woman.

To this day, if I’m going through a rough patch, I know all I have to do is reach out to another woman. All I have to do is be honest. All I have to do is talk to my sponsor, or a sober-support, about it and I feel better.