by A Women in Sobriety | Jul 14, 2014 | Addiction Articles, Benefits of Sobriety
Written By: Katie Schipper
Enjoying the Gifts of Today by Living in the Moment
Nothing is More Important Than Living in the Moment
The intensity with which we naturally think about the future is so strong that, more often than not, we’re not living in the moment. Instead, we’re completely missing out on the only thing that really exists, the exact moment that we’re in.
A whole lot is lost by focusing on the future and outcomes – it causes, and in turn is caused by, anxiety, fear, and worry. Thoughts about the future are valuable, yes, but they should NEVER come at the expense of the present moment. Learning to be mindful of what’s right in front of us is one of the gifts of being in recovery. It’s not always easy to be mindful, but conceptually speaking, it’s pretty simple. Not to mention, there are endless reasons why it’s worth exploring.
Learn about Jim Carrey’s speech on living in today!
Living for Today Requires Practicing Mindfulness
The absolute and unavoidable reality for every person is that someday they’ll take their final breath. Someday they’ll die. The majority of us have knowledge of, or say in, when that day’s going to come. You can plan your future around this day. You can plan your future out day-by-day, week-by-week, even year-by-year. You can plan what you want to be doing years from now. You can do plan to an obsessive degree, but in the end, you may never see the day when your planning comes to fruition.
So, the real why of practicing mindfulness and living in today is that we have no way of knowing which day will be our last. If all our days are spent worrying about the future, do we have any room left for joy? Do we have any room left for actually living?
Now, that doesn’t mean we have to float around with no direction, or become a monk, or live outside of society, though we can do all of these if we want to. It means a very radical shift in thinking. After all we’re programmed to plan, think, and worry about the future. It seems to be written in our DNA. But thoughts of the future don’t have to control us.
Mindfulness takes on a stronger meaning for addicts and alcoholics because our sobriety begins over each morning when we wake up. Our sobriety is contingent upon our action that day. It doesn’t matter what we say we’ll do in the future, and the past doesn’t guarantee that we’ll stay sober for today. Nope, we have only this exact moment to choose not to pick up a drink or get high. We learn that living in the moment, and applying the knowledge we gain in recovery, helps us stay sober. More importantly, it helps us enjoy the gifts of today!
Learn how to be grateful for today
How to Practice Living in the Moment and Enjoying the Gifts of Today
Mindfulness and living for today are simple concepts. Remember though, simple and easy aren’t the same thing! It’s simple enough for a child, but the actual practice takes time, maybe even a lifetime, to really learn.
A good place to start in any mindfulness practice is to focus on your individual breaths. From there, notice the things around you. What sounds do you hear? What’s under your feet or in your hands? What can you see directly in your vision? What do you smell? Try to notice these basic senses without thinking about your to do list, what’s for dinner, or an argument you had. Try to notice what’s right in front of you for sixty seconds.
Mindfulness is a practice that helps you enjoy the gifts of today. Knowing that all we have is now sets us free to live fully in the only moment that’s real – this moment.
Find a women’s alcohol treatment center that will help you learn how to live in today!
by Fiona Stockard | Jul 7, 2014 | Addiction Articles, Benefits of Sobriety
Written By: Katie Schipper
How Living Your Dreams Can Be a Real Thing!
Paralyzing Fear Can Stifle All Dreams
Fear is the ultimate culprit when it comes to living your dream. This doesn’t just apply to addicts and alcoholics in early-recovery, it applies to everyone. Fear can be totally paralyzing. There’s the fear of failure, the fear of what other people will think, the fear of what might go wrong. Then there’s the power of regret, which is really just a fear of the past combined with a fear that you’re not good enough. All of those fears and their offshoots are responsible for killing dreams before they even have a chance to see the light of day. Sounds kind of bleak, huh? Fear not, there are some ways to keep your dreams alive!
Watch Jim Carrey’s amazing speech about living your dreams
Stop Living in Regret, Start Living Your Dreams
The first thing to remember is not to focus too much on eliminating fear and regret. If you focus on the negative side of things, that’s where your energy is. You’re eliminating some of the focus you could give to living your dreams. So, don’t freak over the fact that you have fears and if you’re living with regret. Everyone has fear. I repeat: EVERYONE HAS FEAR. It’s in our DNA. It’s hardwired in our brains. We feel fear as an instinct designed to help us survive.
On a personal level, you can decide if fear drives you or you can acknowledge it and grow. So, focus on the positive. This means whatever your dream is, start believing it now. You can start living your dreams, today! Tell yourself your dream is already real. If your dream is to go back to school, believe that you’re a student. Tell yourself you’re a student and guess what? You are! Say it out loud and have faith in it.
See how one act of kindness helped a homeless man’s dreams come true
Living Your Dreams Starts With Saying It Until You Believe It
So, you repeat your dreams until you believe them. What then? You have to actually do it! Faith and intention are vital. They motivate, compel, and drive us, but you still have to get off your a*s and do it.
You can’t just sit around dreaming about something and think it will happen without any work. That’s a fantasy and a daydream. You can do anything you dream is possible. The problem is that without meaningful, consistent, and focused effort all those dreams will remain nothing more than that, dreams. Set goals and work towards them.
Focus on the Now!
There’s nothing that can be done today, tomorrow, or the next day that’ll change the past. So, stop living with regret! Sometimes this is hard. Hell, often it’s hard. From the right perspective though, it’s incredibly empowering.
If you fully believe, understand, and accept that you can’t change what’s already happened, then you also have power to put all your focus and energy into right now. What can you do differently today so you don’t ever have to feel like you want to change the past? How can you learn to turn your regret into motivation to start living the life you’ve dreamed of?
These gifts aren’t reserved for an exclusive group. If you have the willingness to state your dream, to believe in your dream, and to take action towards making your dream a reality, then you can live any life you choose. You can live without being a slave to fear and regret.
Are you a women whose dreams have been destroyed by drugs and alcohol? Seek help at a treatment center for women
by Sally Rosa | Jun 12, 2014 | Addiction Articles, Benefits of Sobriety
Written by Tim Myers
“All Righty Then”
“Look At The Fun-bags On That”
“Holy Testicle Tuesday”
“Holy S**t-balls”
“We Got No Food, We Got No Jobs…Our PETS’ HEADS ARE FALLING OFF!”
“That John Denver’s Full Of S**t”
How Jim Carrey’s Commencement Speech Can Keep You Sober
Jim Carrey said all of the above. On Saturday, May 24th, he also said something else. He gave the commencement speech to The Maharishi University of Management’s class of 2014 and dropped some serious wisdom.
Jim Carrey’s Speech Turned My Brain Upside Down
“Fear is going to be a big player in your life but you get to decide how much. You can spend your whole life imagining ghosts and worrying about the pathway to the future, but all there will ever be is what is happening here. The decisions we make in this moment are based in either love or fear. So many of us choose a path of fear disguised as practicality. What we really want seems impossibly out of reach and ridiculous to expect so we never dare to ask the universe for it. I’m saying that I’m proof that you can ask the universe for it,” said Jim.
He went on to talk about what he learned from his father. “You can fail at what you don’t want to do, so you might as well take a chance at doing what you love,” he stated.
Son of a b***h! The same guy that makes his a*s talk just turned my brain upside down! He wrung it out like sponge and forced me to utter a phrase I never though would cross my lips – Jim Carrey’s speech is all you need to get sober.
Am I saying don’t go to rehab, don’t go to a twelve-step fellowship, just sit back, relax and watch Jim Carrey’s YouTube video once a day, everyday, for ninety days and you’ll never drink? Yes!
I’m kidding! I do believe women should go to a women’s treatment center and dudes need to go to a treatment for dudes. I do believe that without some sort of program, it’s very difficult to stay sober.
My point is, if you do everything Jim Carrey’s talking about, if you take his advice, you’ll get sober. Period, exclamation point, end of story. You can debate this point with me, as I’m sure you will, but it’s a fact. Just like water is wet, plants need sunlight, the sky is blue and Smucker’s Uncrustables are the most delicious food on the planet.
In Sobriety We Have No Limits
Okay, let’s dissect this speech from the beginning. Jim Carrey said, “I can not be contained because I am the container.”
What the crap does that mean? It means you’re in charge of your own limitations. You can’t be filled because you can always make yourself bigger. All the limitations on yourself are self imposed. The good news? Anyone can stop self imposing limits on themselves!
There’s no limit to what we can do. If you can’t stop drinking, you can break the contained. If you can’t stop snorting bath salts, or bath water, or whatever it is the kids are killing themselves with, you can break the container. Now, if it’s Rubbermade™, you’ll have to melt it, but trust me it can be done! Break Your Container.
Jim Carrey then expands on this idea. “I used to believe that who I was ended at the edge of my skin. That I had been given this little vehicle called a body in which to experience creation, although I couldn’t have asked for a sportier model. It was after all a loner and would have to be returned. Then I learned everything outside of the vehicle was part of me too. And now I drive a convertible.”
Here, he reminds us to open up, to let the top down and experience more than just what’s directly around us. If you’re trapped in a world of drugs, filth, corruption, prostitution, and alcoholism you can change by changing the vehicle you use to travel in life.
I used to drive a crappy 1996 Saturn with cigarette burns on the vinyl, carpet soaked in beer, and puke in the back seat. This isn’t a metaphor, it’s what my car really looked like. My fuel for this vehicle was addiction and self-interest. I changed my car and began a life fueled by Alcoholics Anonymous and helping other people. Now, I drive a convertible. Okay, it’s my Dad’s convertible, but the biggest miracle is that after over a decade of drug use (not to mention nine rehabs), I’m at a place where he actually lets me borrow it! Get A New Vehicle For Life.
Staying Sober Through Prayer and Meditation
Next, Jim Carrey talks about what I’ve come to believe is the most important part of staying sober – meditation. He says, “Meditation allows you to separate from who you are and what is real from the stories in your head. There is a huge difference between a dog that is going to eat you in your mind, and an actual dog that is going to eat you.”
How often do we make up stories in our head of all the horrible things that are going to happen? I do it a lot. Sometimes, it’s weird stuff. I once thought that when I die, I’ll hear Billy Joel’s “Only The Good Die Young” on the radio. So, every time that goddamn song came on, I’d bunker myself in my room and wait until midnight.
A more practical form of this comes from self defeating thoughts like, “I can’t stay sober or get sober or quit heroin or stop drinking.” These are NOT real dogs that are going to eat you. They’re just negative thoughts that you can remove through prayer and meditation. Meditate.
Next, Jim goes into the paragraph at the beginning of this article. He says, “All there will ever be is what is happening here.”
One day at a time. It’s not a cliché when you really believe it. It’s a way of life. Stay in Today.
Jim Carrey’s Commencement Speech is About Living in Love, Not Fear
“The decisions we make in this moment are based in either love or fear.” – Jim Carrey
There are a number of spiritually based programs that suggest the alcoholic is a producer of confusion, rather than harmony. Jim’s saying the same thing. He’s reminding us to choose love not fear, to choose harmony not confusion. Nothing great was every conceived through fear and confusion. Fear and confusion, as a resource, remind me of Nazi concentration camps. Love and harmony remind me of a beautiful beach, blue skies, sunshine, and lemonade. You choose the place you want to hang out in.
Choose Love.
“So many of us choose our path of fear disguised as practicality. What we really want seems impossibly out of reach and ridiculous to expect so we never dare to ask the universe for it. I’m saying that I’m proof that you can ask the universe for it.” –Jim Carrey
Getting Sober Isn’t Impossible Because Nothing is Impossible
Jim emphasizes again and again that nothing’s impossible. Yes, you may not have the money for treatment. You may be in jail. You may be a single mother who can’t take twenty-eight days off from the kids, but also can’t stop popping Xanax like Mike & Ikes™. It may not seem practical for you to stop using, but that’s just fear yelling in your ear. Fear dances, twerks and shakes its a*s to lure you in. Fear pretends to be practicality when it’s really just fear telling you to make the wrong decision.
Fear can be a lot like a stripper. It pretends to love you. It pretends it will never leave you. It pretends it’s going to go home with you and stop sliding up and down the brass pole. What really happens? When the club closes, you’re alone with no money, crying in your car because “Destiny” ditched you for the table of frat boys. Oh, that Visa pre-paid card your grandma gave you for Chanukah? It’s out of money, by the way.
The practical choice is always the one that’ll make you happy and better the lives of those around you. Both factors need to be in conjunction though.
Asking The Universe For What you Want: A Highlight of Jim Carrey’s Speech
During Jim sobering speech, he said to dare and ask the universe for what you want. Do it. In many cases, we’ve lost so much to our addiction that all we have left is prayer. Turns out, that’s all we need.
You want to be sober? Ask for it. You want to stop drinking? Ask for it. Pray for it, meditate on it, and the answer will come. It has for me. I once prayed everyday for a wife. I went to the beach and prayed. I went back to my car and guess what? There was no hot chick waiting by my Saturn. So, I went to a meeting. This repeated over and over and over and over and over, until I met the woman I’m engaged to, outside that same meeting. If you want it, ask for it!
“You can fail at what you don’t want so you might as well take a chance at doing what you love.” – Jim Carrey
Simple, right? Yet why do so many of us not do it? Do what you love! Make yourself happy!
If you like planting things, start a garden. If you like animals, get a job at a animal shelter. Following this rule will ensure that when you die (many years from now!), you’ll be able to say “I did what I love.” How awesome would that be? Do What You Love!
Find Your Way Through Faith
“Take a chance on faith, not hope but faith. Hope walks through the fire, faith leaps over it.” – Jim Carrey
This was the moment when I thought Jim Carrey may actually be Jesus. I haven’t heard a statement of truth this powerful since MLK’s “I Have a Dream Speech.”
Hope is “uh maybe this will work,” or “boy, it’d be cool if I don’t get burned!” Hope is your fingers crossed. Faith is “f**k you fire, I’m jumping over you because I know I can!” Did Moses part the Red Sea? Nope, he didn’t. He had faith so strong that God opened the Red Sea up. His faith made that happen. Have Faith.
Break Your Container
Get A New Vehicle For Life
Meditate
Stay In Today
Choose Love
Ask For It
Do What You Love
Have Faith
See, you can have a life that is so star-spangled freaking awesome! All you have to do is – Break Your Container, Get A New Vehicle For Life, Meditate, Stay in Today, Choose Love, Ask For it, Do What You Love and Have Faith! That’s a fact brought to you by Jim Carrey.
by Sally Rosa | Jun 9, 2014 | Addiction Articles, Benefits of Sobriety
Written By: Katie Schipper
Is it Safe to Go Clubbing as a Sober Women?
Is It Even Possible?
Let’s be honest, if you’re newly sober and the vision of the life you used to lead isn’t too far behind you, it probably feels a lot like you don’t get to do anything you used to. It probably feels a lot like you don’t get to do anything fun. For young people in recovery, there’s this very, very common fear: that life is boring without drugs and alcohol!
Of course, this comes in the wake of forgetting how miserable it is to be a junkie, a drunk, a tweaker, a crack head, and anything else. Early on, we have to make a decision to let go of not just drugs and alcohol, but of a way of living and thinking that kept us constantly at odds with everyone else. We hear over and over that we have to give up people, places, and things that we used to associate with. It’s true. After all, we have a disease that demands we stay vigilant.
We also have a solution that promises we can go anywhere and do anything – does that include going clubbing? This question’s especially important for those of us who see clubs as being intimately tied to getting messed up.
The short answer is that we can absolutely go anywhere and do anything, but there are some things to consider before you hit the club!
What’s your take on the importance of accountability in recovery?
What to Think About First
You’ll hear from your sponsor, from treatment centers, from an intensive outpatient program, and elsewhere – frequenting places that serve booze or where it’s easy to get drugs isn’t a great idea in early-recovery! You may even live in a halfway house that tells you that you can’t go to clubs.
Listen to this advice! It’s much easier to pick up a drink or drug in a club than it is at a coffee shop. This is especially true when you haven’t done any significant work on distancing yourself from that drink or drug. A club, and in the same vein, concerts and other venues involving music and alcohol, is a place almost all of us associate with using and drinking.
Ideally, you should be actively working your steps with a sponsor. You should be in a place where you’ve started to embrace being honest. These improve your chances of not picking up in a club. Also, always get input from the sober supports in your life. These are the people who’ve been there and done that. If you don’t have sober supports, you should probably be more worried about finding some than about going to a club! That’s a solid foundation for determining if it’s time to go clubbing.
What’s you opinion on safe sex in sobriety?
The Bottom Line
All that said, if you love to dance or love going out in general, there’s nothing to stop you from having a ridiculously good time at a club. Drink some RedBull, get fresh, and go clubbing!
The amazing thing about clubbing sober, and doing so much else, is that you get to experience first hand how alcohol isn’t required to have a good time. You get to find out that you have a personality and a life that doesn’t have to be fueled by chemicals! Making these discoveries is one of the infinite gifts of getting sober and one of the ways we get to find out how worth it the work really is.
by Sally Rosa | May 26, 2014 | Addiction Articles, Benefits of Sobriety
Written By: Katie Schipper
Learning how to be grateful is a spiritual practice. It’s not something that can be forced, it comes naturally when we make a commitment and start practicing it. Gratitude isn’t something readily accessible to a addict or an alcoholic active in her addiction. There’s far too much chaos, denial, self-victimization, pity, and selfishness to leave any room for gratitude. Choosing to be grateful, to practice gratitude in spite of changing moods and circumstances, is a cornerstone of recovery.
Watch a young women emerging from addiction with gratitude
The Gratitude List
A very simple, very straightforward way to begin practicing gratitude is to make a list. Ideally, this is done daily, but it shouldn’t be avoided simply because it can’t be done everyday. The list can be long or short, but should most definitely be handwritten. Taking the time to write everything out helps get it embedded in our hearts.
A gratitude list can be as simple as coming up with five things you’re grateful for. Even if you can’t find a job, even if you just got dumped, even if you’re in a very dark place and feel alone, there’s always, ALWAYS, something to be grateful for.
Sometimes, it helps to start simple, particularly if you tend to be pessimistic. Start by being grateful for the air you breathe. Be grateful that you’re alive. Be grateful for things you might not be grateful for! Things like rehab, IOP therapy, and recovery.
The beautiful thing about gratitude lists is that once you start, you seem to magically think of even more to be grateful for! The lists can be endless. The first step, as always, is simply to begin, even if you don’t want to.
And you might not want to. Complaining is easy. It gives a short-lived buzz and all that dumping of negative energy feels “good.” What it’s really doing is perpetuating the bad. Our thoughts become our reality. For addicts and alcoholics, it’s easy to become enslaved by the mind’s power. Putting a pen to paper, despite negativity, has an immediate impact.
Gratitude as an Action Word
Writing a gratitude list is a beautiful thing and a great start to expanding your spirituality. Continue to write until you feel the results. Share your lists. Add to them. Set aside specific times to write gratitude lists. Watch as your attitude changes and as some of your negative thought patterns begin to crumble.
Once this happens, practice gratitude in your daily life. Be polite to the person who’s rude to you. Hold the door open for someone. Buy someone’s coffee. Do service. Volunteer. Like any spiritual practice, gratitude is a discipline that gives back tenfold what you put into it. The freedom of knowing what you have, of cherishing where you are, are gifts beyond measure.
Learn seven things about recovery you might not know
