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One Size Fits All

by | Nov 11, 2013 | Body Image / Eating Disorders

Beauty’s in the Eye of the Beholder

When did skinny as a rail, I can see your ribs, you look like a starving Ethiopian become what men want? Back in the day, like way back in the day, larger people were desirable. Having meat on your bones meant you had a lot of money. Who doesn’t like money?

“Man, that guys is like five-hundred pounds! He must have so much money to be that big! Do you know if he’s seeing anyone?” asked Marie Antoinette. “Look at that shorty,” King George would say, “I’m gonna take her to the joust, get her knocked up so she can pop out some lads to sit on my thrown, plow the fields, and lead my troops into battle.” That’s a direct quote, by the way.

Sobriety For Women

Today, Brock the frat boy with sculpted abs and an Audi his daddy paid for, combs the savanna (the quad) at the university his dad is a legacy at, looking for the skinniest, most emaciated woman. No way Brock would every date a woman based on her brains or personality. It’s the same reason Brock won’t drive a Prius. I mean, if he had a smart girl and a Prius, his frat brothers would pick on him. He wouldn’t be cool…but he might be smart!

Women, we don’t get a pass on this one either. We hate it when another woman has better shoes, or a better purse, or better hair. We hate it when Susie has the star quarterback on her arm and we “just” have the second string running-back. Last year, a guy friend broke up with his girlfriend. He told me her response. Ready to be dumbfounded? “You’re not really in the financial position I would hope for and you’re way too skinny.” Really? You said that out loud? So people can hear you?

I guess romantic attraction has always been about looks, status, and money.

Can we blame women and men for starving themselves, doing steroids, buying things they can’t afford, and going to ANY length to appear attractive? No, we can’t! It’s all over TV, the internet, billboards, and everywhere else! Women are made to feel we have to be super skinny to find a guy and be happy! Guys are made to feel like they need to be a six-figure lawyer with abs of granite to find a girl and be happy!

We can’t blame them, but we can stop feeding the delusion machine. We can start talking about how happiness is internal, about how beauty comes from within. The size of a person’s heart is more important than the size of their stomach or thighs! Someone’s weight should be measured in the amount of times they make you laugh!

Happiness isn’t something to be bought, it’s an emotion there’s no quick fix for. That’s why it’s so hard to find. Hell, it should be! You won’t find happiness in a bank account, or good looks. It’s found deep inside a person’s heart. Happiness, love, and beauty are found in the heart and in there – one size fits all!

I Just Want to Be Normal

I Just Want to Be Normal

by | Jan 6, 2013 | Addiction Treatment, Benefits of Sobriety

I Just Want to Be Normal!

i just want to be normal

“I just want to be sober and normal, that’s all I want” said Vanessa. She sat across from me while spending the night in a hospital for the ninth time in eighteen months. Throughout our whole conversation, she kept saying “I want to be normal, that’s all.”

What is normal anyway? Is it someone who doesn’t drink? Is it someone who doesn’t drugs? Is it someone that doesn’t live strictly for their own individual gain?

What is Normal Anyway?

I spent my whole life trying to be someone and something I wasn’t. I just wanted to be what everyone else wanted me to be. Well, what I thought they wanted me to be anyway.

“I just want to be normal” is a powerful sentence. Vanessa kept repeating it, again and again, while I looked at her with love and compassion. All the damage she caused the night before? It didn’t matter. All the people she had hurt? They didn’t matter. All that mattered was a woman with her head in her hands, repeating over and over how all she wanted was “to be normal.”

I knew what she meant, even if she didn’t. Vanessa wanted to live a life without insanity. She meant she’d give anything to feel better, to feel happy.

Recovery is Possible!

I Just Want to Be Normal

Most addicts don’t give themselves a chance to be normal. They keep hitting their head against the wall, over and over, until they simply give up. The funny thing is that after they give up, that’s when they have a shot at recovery.

I know that happiness and sobriety are within reach of everyone. There’s no one too smart, too dumb, too old, too angry, too sad, or too beaten to get sober. It’s there for anyone willing to do the work. That’s the catch though, there’s work involved. Recovery, faith in God, and sobriety are full time jobs.

For me, life isn’t about being “normal.” I still have no clue what normal even me. What I do know is that I can live a sober life. I can be happy, joyous, and FREE. I thank God for that every night, because, a few years ago, I sat in the chair Vanessa’s currently sitting in.

I want everyone to know that recovery IS possible. I want everyone who’s felt that bottom of your stomach hopelessness to know they can recovery. You just need to stop wanting and start doing. I’ll end with the most profound saying I’ve ever heard –

Recovery isn’t for those who need it and it isn’t for those who want it. Recovery is for those who do it!