by Sally Rosa | Dec 28, 2016 | Addiction Articles, Body Image / Eating Disorders, Drug Addiction
A Princess of Substance Abuse Recovery and Role Model
When I heard the news that Carrie Fisher, (better known to the world as Princess Leia for Star Wars) had passed away I felt like I had been punched in the gut. I was on my way to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting at lunch, so in the car I turned on the Star Wars Theme song and began to cry. I wasn’t crying because the Princess of Alderaan, Imperial Senator and General of the Resistance had died. The reason for my tears was that one of the true, outspoken female role models of substance abuse recovery and eating disorders had passed away.
Her Death Star Was Drug Abuse and Eating Disorders
Following the 1977 smash hit “Star Wars” the 19 year-old Carrie Fisher found fame, cocaine and eating disorders. An empire of darkness that she would battle for several decades. Fisher once told an audience that her addiction had gotten so bad that even John Belushi told her to slow it down. Yes, the same man who died from an overdose of speed and coke. In Star Wars, Princess Leia showed us an example of a strong, powerful, independent women who was as beautiful and sexy as she was intelligent and confident. On set Carrie Fisher was the opposite of Leia, usually high during filming and drunk ‘til all hours of the night. The drug abuse wasn’t the only dark side of the force plaguing Carrie Fisher during the filming of Star Wars. She was under constant pressure to lose weight and the extreme ridicule gave her a depressing and debilitating eating disorder. She wouldn’t find substance abuse recovery for another 25 years.
The Force and Recovery Were Strong With This One
In 2005 when Gregory Stevens, a Republican lobbyist spent the night in her bed and died, things changed for Carrie Fisher. He died of a drug overdose and Carrie blamed her self. This event caused her to go back to rehab and she remained sober, so we think for the rest of her life. Right now it is unclear what caused her heart attack that ended the life of the Princess, but I want to believe it has nothing to do with drugs or alcohol. Carrie Fisher spoke openly about her eating disorders and substance abuse recovery. He one woman play “Wishful Drinking” brought humor, compassion and texture to the disease of addiction and she was proud to do it. Anonymity can at times make it difficult to find those in substance abuse recovery. Carrie Fisher didn’t care about anonymity she wanted to help the entire galaxy through her personal struggles.
“If You’re Scared, Stay Scared and Get Sober Anyway” –Carrie Fisher
For many young women she was their only hope. She led and incredible sober life and was at the forefront of women’s issue in substance abuse recovery, eating disorders and mental health. She made recovery fun, acceptable and healing. In her recovery Carrie Fisher gave us a new hope, fought against the dark side and became the leader the women of the galaxy needed. In her substance abuse recovery she became Princess Leia.
by A Women in Sobriety | Dec 15, 2016 | Addiction Articles, Blog, Sobriety For Women, Stories from Women in Sobriety
Candace Bighead
My story begins before I was even born.
My grandparents on both my biological parent’s sides have a history of substance abuse. Both of my parents have struggled with addiction their entire lives. I have 10 biological siblings and at least 8 of those siblings struggle with addiction. My mom was and still is a chronic alcoholic and made the choice to drink while she was pregnant with me. I was born with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and I have birth defects including a complex heart condition and a predisposition to addiction. As a baby I was removed from my substance abusing family and put in a foster family. This family would raise me into a proper young Christian woman. I had everything I wanted; a beautiful home with loving parents, two amazing older brothers, many pets and many good friends. So what happened? How did alcohol seep into my life? First I underwent major open heart surgery. After which I was bullied about my surgery scar and recent weight gain and that shattered my confidence. Next fate decided to reintroduce my biological family into my life along with alcohol. I would eventually use alcohol to forget the trauma of getting sexually assaulted in 2011 and the suicide of my biological father in 2014. Finally let’s not forget that addiction runs in my family and that as an FAS individual I am pitted against a 70% chance of becoming an alcoholic or an addict. The odds have not been in my favor however I am the one who made the choice to drink.
When did drinking become an addiction for me?
If I’m honest I can say I was addicted from the first time I got drunk at the age of 18. I loved it, I felt free and happy. It took away any pain I had or felt both physically and emotionally. As I got older I thought I was a “responsible drinker.” I would drink up to 10 Liters of coolers in a single week to cope with the stress of work. I worked at a nightclub as a DJ on weekends and so free booze were always available. Spring and summer of 2014 found me in and out of hospitals fighting infections. I became seriously addicted to narcotic painkillers. I lied to doctors frequently in order to get prescriptions of morphine or Dilauded. By the end of 2014 I was heavily drinking again. I was no longer a “functioning alcoholic.” I was living on Employment Insurance and told not to return to work until 2015. I didn’t end up getting a part time job until April of 2015. At this time, I moved in with a friend and slowed my drinking to only drinking on the weekends. It was after I got fired from my part-time job that I started spiraling out of control. Summer of 2015 was spent drinking and drugging. I went hungry so that I could drink. I lied to and manipulated my friends and family so that I could drink. I was in debt so that I could drink. I compromised my health so that I could feed my disease. I drank because I couldn’t bear to deal with the pain and trauma that had been brought upon me. Alcohol made me free. I thought drinking every weekend to the point of blackout was a good time. Waking up the next morning still drunk or extremely hung-over meant the night before had been awesome regardless of whether or not I remembered what happened. In reality my body was reeling and suffering badly from the poison flowing through my veins. I would find myself suffering withdrawals. My body couldn’t regulate a proper temperature, so I was either freezing or over-heating. I was getting awful stomach-aches because the lining of my stomach was damaged due to alcohol.
I always thought I had control over my drinking, the alcohol made life manageable.
Manageable for me meant drinking a 26 oz. of 40% flavored vodka every day; because that was the fastest way to get alcohol into my system and then sipping a case of twisted teas to keep the buzz going for as long as possible. I had this disease and it was slowly killing me. It had me gripped so tight that on September 30, 2015 I stopped breathing. I awoke to find myself on the X-ray table at the hospital. I had no idea where I was or how I got there. I would later find out that paramedics were called to the house because I wasn’t breathing and was barely responsive. I had overdosed; I drank a 26oz of 50% vodka in about two hours plus a handful of Tylenol tablets. I woke up the next morning still drunk and in pain. My gut hurt from the activated charcoal they gave me to make me vomit and my head hurt from dehydration. The doctor warned me that I needed to be careful, and that I should probably seek help from a therapist.
What do we do now
Two days after that my foster mom came to the house to talk to me about what happened. I don’t remember much about her visit other than her asking me, “What do we do now?” We discussed a plan of action which included her contacting someone from Alcoholics Anonymous. It also involved me agreeing to stay sober for that day. I remember getting out of my mom’s car after her visit and walking into the house and seriously contemplating walking a few blocks to the off-sale and grabbing a bottle of vodka. My entire being was shaken. My mom had made me realize that my friends and family was seriously concerned about me and that I may have a drinking problem. I spent that weekend suffering awful withdrawals and crying. I decided to reach out and contact the number that had been given to me for a ride to AA. I was shaking when my ride arrived that evening. I really don’t remember much about that first meeting. I do know that I was scared of criticism and afraid that someone would recognize me. Instead I was met with smiling faces and kindness. I was welcomed in and given a newcomer’s package. Everything that was said in that meeting was meant for me. By the end of it I knew full well that I was an alcoholic.
New Hope
Sobriety has not been easy. I fought for each sober day and continue to do so. I lied to cover up my pain and I ended up hurting a lot of people. Being sober has helped me slowly rebuild some of those relationships; it has given me hope, new healthy memories and gratitude. I still have a long way to go but I know that I am loved, valued and worth being known. As of October 1, 2016 I am 1 year clean and sober.
by Sally Rosa | Dec 8, 2016 | Addiction Articles, Addiction Treatment
A Florida Drug Rehab Story
I think I prostituted my self for the first time at age 15. I remember being in my Florida drug rehab and my mom asking me if I was scared the first time sold my body. I told her I wasn’t, because… I wasn’t. I entered the Motel 6, just off the Garden Sate Parkway in Paramus not excited to have sex with the over-weight 40-yearold man in front of me, not scared, just numb. All I could think about was the fact that the fat science teacher in front of me had the cash that was going to get me high tonight, so no I wasn’t scared Mom. Saying those words to my Mother back in that Florida drug rehab changed her, she knew I was sick.
Heroin Detox Was My First God Moment
I knew I was sick too. A simple root canal and a prescription of percocet took me from being the class president of the 7th grade at East Brook Middle School in Paramus to the heroin hooker of the Garden State Parkway. I wandered the back alleys and by ways for 3 years, never once thinking about calling home to my Mother and Father. While other girls my age dreamed of going to Disney world my dream was a trip to a Florida drug rehab or heroin detox. Then one night after there was no blood left in my forehead I woke to the warm hospital bed at Bergen Regional to the sight of my Mom and Dad. I looked like a Halloween street walker, because I was a Halloween street walker, it’s just that it was only February. My parents stayed with me for the night and then when I could walk they helped me into the local Heroin Detox Center and then eventually, that wonderful Florida drug rehab.
My Heart Breathed Without Heroin For The First Time
The pain of heroin detox was horrible at first, but then the medication seemed to help and a simple phrase from an overly zealous AA girl at a meeting they brought to my Florida drug rehab set it. The phrase was, “Don’t Quit Before The Miracle Happens”. Someone other than myself was admitting that there were such things as miracles. Everyday that I dragged my skin across the pavement of Paramus, everyday that I longed for the needle to break and set me free, I prayed for aFlorida drug rehab, I prayed for a heroin detox to fall down on me like a miracle from heaven. You see my addiction was so strong it keot me from saying, “I Need Help.”
I Needed A Miracle And Rehab Was It!
When you think of rehab as Disney World and the most fun you have ever had was the night the slob you slept with didn’t punch you in the face, drug rehab in Florida is a dream come true. Heroin detox was a dream come true. My life that I made for my self had been so horrible that I clang to and devoured the treatment that so many girls run from. Today I am sober over 7 years, have a beautiful daughter named Hope and I owe it all to my Magic Kingdom, the Florida drug rehab where I was born and raised a new in recovery. Don’t quit ‘til the miracle happens.
by Sally Rosa | Dec 1, 2016 | Addiction Articles, Sobriety For Women
Whitney Houston and Amy Winehouse offer Addiction help In Death
When Whitney Houston died it was discovered that she wore dentures, wore a wig, had emphysema and was surrounded by many cigarette butts. Amy Winehouse died while watching YouTube videos of herself. I bet you didn’t know that. You see, addiction help doesn’t come from the fond memories of their music. Addiction help, true addiction help comes from taking a look at how far they fell and what Whitney Houston and Amy Winehouse looked like at their last moment.
Drug Addiction Programs Should Give Handout of Coroners Report
Too many of us young women looked up to Whitney Houston and Amy Winehouse. We sang there songs as little girls and we dressed like them. Maybe we should teach our children to dress like them the day they died. Addiction help comes in the form of looking at pur idols in the way they never wanted us to see them. Drug addiction programs were not taken seriously by Whitney Houston and Amy Winehouse. If they had been both women would be here today. Instead the addiction help many need come from picturing Whitney Houston alone in the bath tube she died in.
Dentures, A Wig, And Cigarettes The Real Whitney
The women with the most beautiful voice in the history of the world ever, the woman who sang The Star Spangled Banner better than anyone else in the 202 years it has been sung, died a horrible mess. With her arms draped over the side of the tub, her wig was out of place and cockeyed. Her dentures, yes dentures were hanging out of her out and cigarette butts lined the floor of the bathroom. All she had to do was seek addiction help one more time. All she had to do was check herself into one of the many drug addiction programs available. Nothing in Whitney Houston’s life was un-fixable. Now she is glorified in death by the songs she left behind, but if you really want to use her memory for something good, for those who need addiction help, please pass along her coroners report or this photo at drug addiction programs.
The Lonely Addict Winehouse
When she died, no one was surprised. Amy Winehouse would have shocked us only if she lived to see her 50th birthday. Nothing here in the story of Amy Winehouse other than her voice is incredibly special since she really built her brand around drugs, alcohol crazy and refusing to go to drug addiction programs. Her unique senses and crazy cool vocals would have shot her to the tops of the pops and the top of the world have she only given herself the chance. Instead she ended her life while sitting alone in her room while watching YouTube videos of herself. Nothing amazingly crazy or out of this world hilarious to glamorize. Just a slow and painful re-run of her life preceded her death. The ironic, NO, NO, NO to addiction help ultimately deciding her fate. Don’t immortalize the women who sang Rehab, immortalize this face, because that is the last and only image we should be honoring.
by Sally Rosa | Nov 24, 2016 | Addiction Articles
Drug And Alcohol Abuse Didn’t Start Yesterday, Surgeon General Murthy
Yesterday all over my news feeds were headlines saying,
“Surgeon General Report shows drug and alcohol abuse is on the rise”,
“The US Surgeon General Wants to Fight Addiction”,
“Surgeon General to release landmark report on drug and alcohol abuse.”
A little too late to be making such grand statements. Plus, Surgeon General Murthy’s “Landmark” drug and alcohol abuse report is just a hodgepodge of stats and figures that others have reported in the past. The only thing this media blitz is doing is proving that it takes way too long for drug and alcohol abuse to make it on the the desk as a priority for Surgeon General Murthy. Just last week Democratic candidate for congress Kim Myers published her plan to fight drug and alcohol abuse and it is by far way more on point than anything Surgeon General Murthy has said thus far.
To help out , Surgeon General Murthy and to show him exactly what a “Landmark” fight against drug and alcohol abuse looks like, here are the 3 tips for Surgeon General Murthy on how to fight drug and alcohol abuse.
1. Drug Abuse Facilities Should Be Free For Everyone
Making drug abuse facilities free for everyone who wants them, now that is “Landmark”. It’s never been done before and by creating drug abuse facilities across the country, Surgeon General Murthy would create thousands of new jobs. Think about it. 10 new drug abuse facilities in each state, free for all who need help with drug and alcohol abuse, the results would be incredibly positive.
2. Free Tuition For Substance Abuse Therapists
If you want to go to school to be a therapist and work at drug abuse facilities your schooling should be paid for. With so many people looking for help with drug and alcohol abuse we need to provide the adequate education needed to create a new team of substance abuse and addiction professionals to meet the demand. If we had 1 drug and alcohol abuse therapist for every 10 people who needed it out country would see an incredible economic boom and a significant reduction in heroin addiction deaths and costs to health care providers.
3. Release All Non-Violent Drug Abuse Prisoners At Once
Over a billion dollars in tax payer money would be saved. If only 10 percent of these non-violent drug and alcohol abuse offenders got and stayed sober, the money they would pay in taxes and the money the would contribute to the economy would drastically increase the over-all financial health of the economy. Releasing these drug and alcohol abuse offenders to the new drug abuse facilities, stocked with new drug and alcohol abuse therapists will set off a chain reaction of positivity and economical growth, not to mention promote an much healthier united state of America.
