by Sally Rosa | Feb 2, 2017 | Addiction Articles, Addiction Treatment, Blog
Alcohol Issues Plagued The life Of A Talented Dancer
At age 13 Meaghan got a job at the local diner because she wanted money to go to the movies. Her brothers and sisters all older than her just asked their parents for money, but not Meaghan. She would pedal her bike down to the upstate NY diner everyday after school and she loved it. At age 16 Meaghan’s dance life really took off. Many including the local press at the time called her the best dancer in the tri-state area. Meaghan appeared on the Today, danced at Disney and was headed to the Julliard School. Then, one night rehearsal she went out to the bars with her friends for the first time. Life for Meaghan never included a social aspect, it was the diner and dance, day after day, so the very minute that shot of whisky hit her mouth Meaghan’s alcohol issues began.
From The “Today Show” To Alcohol Detox Program
Meaghan’s drinking became an everyday affair. She would go to the bar next to the Dance studio every night after rehearsal. Sidelines on Grand Ave. had always been there. She just never noticed it ‘til now. That on establishment would supply Meaghan with enough alcohol to destroy everything she had been work for since the age of 13. Her alcohol issues became more frequent and severe. Her practice sessions grew shorter and shorter in length. She lost so much weight she was put on dietary supplements. The whole town was pulling for her as they all prepared for Julliard audition. Noticing it all slipping away Meaghan took her alcohol issues in to her own hands and decided to stop drinking cold turkey and focus on the biggest audition of her life. The Alcohol had other plans. She woke up in an alcohol detox program at noon on Monday November 11th.
Alcohol Issues Were Not Meaghan’s Only Issues
Meaghan went into cardiac arrest at Lourdes Medical Center in Binghamton NY. The withdrawal symptoms from her alcohol issues shut down her body. The doctors at the alcohol detox program were shocked at how quickly her body had deteriorated. Once recognized as one of the most physically fit women in the state, Meaghan was no just a shell of the woman who had appeared on the Today show. Meaghan’ personality had also changed. Once a delightful and humble kind young woman she now screamed at her fellow dancers and took to hate speech on Facebook.
Words from Her Grandma Made Recovery Possible
Late on her final night in her alcohol detox program Meaghan heard the door crack open and saw her Grandmother walk inside. She reached out for Grandmother and felt the shame and guilt spread though her veins. Her Grandma stayed with her most of the night and as she left she told Meaghan to get back up on her feet and passed on a little advice her own mother had given her many years ago before she left Ireland for The United States.
‘If you stumble, make it part of the dance.”
Dancing to “Hallelujah” performed by Jeff Buckley 4 months sober, Meaghan took the pain of her alcohol issues and poured them into her audition. If you’re looking for her, stop by the Julliard School.
by A Women in Sobriety | Jan 26, 2017 | 12 Steps, Addiction Treatment, Blog, Drug Addiction
My Drug Rehab Was My Moment Shine
I thought doing cocaine at lunch was normal when I was 16. It actually seemed like the only normal thing about me at the time. Men attracted me I thought, but at the same time, was attracted to women. My family situation was, complicated. My Dad lived at home but my Mother and him were definitely NOT together. They never spoke and both worked late. I took care of Emily, my little sister as we the train each morning into the city for school. This is where I would get my drugs and this is where my addiction would hold me tight. So tight, I couldn’t breath. Day after day my New York City routine continued. I continued to reach out for an adult hand to hold but that continued to fail. My parents failed me too. It was not their fault, they worked so hard for Emily and I. I was my decision to turn to promiscuity, cocaine and alcohol. It was their decision to send me to drug rehab.
I attended Substance Abuse Treatment with Emily in ICU
Throughout my life I had become accustomed to heartbreak. Most of the men I dated left me because I never, “seemed into them.” Most women left me because, “I couldn’t commit.” What never left me what alcohol and drugs. I loved them and drugs and alcohol loved me. They always did what they said they were going to do, get me wasted. So for my entire 4 years in high school I got drunk. My grades slipped, my appearance downgraded from a 7 to a 3. Over the course of my use I only felt pain once, the night before I went to drug rehab. Emily my sweet 12 year-old, pigtailed, perfect little sister tried my cocaine. I was putting my coke in pixie stix in case my parents decided to be parents. Emily went into my purse and tried one. I was being admitted to into a substance abuse treatment facility in Florida before she left the hospital.
I Was Broken Alone and Addicted
I held my pillow and pretended it was Emily every night in drug rehab. Some nights I could swear the pillow hugged me. I almost killed the only person that cared about me I thought. For the first 2 days of substance abuse treatment I stayed in bed. Unable to face what I had become. Then, all of the staff of my drug rehab came into the room. They told me Emily was going to live, but if I didn’t quit drugs, I would die.
The Drug Rehab Mirror Showed Me My Soul
My therapist, my sweet angel, made me face the mirror in the bathroom of my substance abuse treatment center. She made me look into my own eyes and scream, “You need to take a chance!” Over and over I screamed, “You need to take a chance.” I screamed probably 30 or 40 times. I was crying like a baby and was pilled up on the floor like dirty towel. The therapist left room and said, “We Only Regret The Chances We Didn’t Take.”
My Life Was Saved Through Recovery
Today Emily is 18 and she will be attending Rice University in the fall. She is my best friend and was my maid of honor when I married Meaghan last spring. I’ve been sober over 6 years and it’s because one day someone told me to do one thing, Take A Chance.
by A Women in Sobriety | Jan 19, 2017 | 12 Steps, Addiction Treatment, Blog, Drug Addiction
After New Year’s Eve, I needed To Go to Addiction Rehab
It started out like any other night out. My girlfriends and I got together at my apartment to get ready to go out for New Year’s Eve. We made some mixed drinks to sip on while we did our hair and turned on Pandora. They all had a blast getting ready and barely touched their drinks. I sipped from my glass with a keen eye on theirs making sure to never let my cocktail dip lower than theirs. To supplement my buzz I kept 2 grams of coke in car and a half bottle of vodka. I’d sneak out the back door every few minutes while the rest of my friends oblivious to my covert actions, babbled and over applied eye liner inside. Looking back on last night I felt more alone inside the house with my friends than I did in the car alone with my coke and vodka. As I sat in the car in the back of mind my it felt like, this may be the last time I get high, this may be my last drink. It wasn’t dark yet, but was getting’ there and stint in an addiction rehab center seemed to be inevitable.
You See Social Drinking, I See Drug and Alcohol Abuse
I drove to the club because I needed to be able to get back out to my supply. I was in no shape to drive but I promised I would. They all sang stupid songs in the back seat whole I just tried to keep the car between the lines. My mind kept racing back to the idea of going to addiction rehab. Nothing was fun anymore. While everyone else was having fun without having to worry about pacing themselves, I was managing my drug and alcohol abuse every second of the day.
Rehab on My Mind, With A Needle in My Hand
When we walked in the club the girls all ran on the dance floor making duck faces and dancing like strippers. I took 3 shots of vodka to try and calm my heart that was pounding out of my chest. It didn’t work so I took 3 more shots and then ran to my car. Outside jimmy was waiting for me. He’s been my dealer since the incident I had with my last one ended in a rape charge. Jimmy suggested I shoot a bit of heroin to level off. Drug and alcohol abuse run in his family so he doesn’t use he just deals. Super moral guy. I sat in my car with a needle in my hand with the idea of addiction rehab
Rushing through my brain. I shrugged it off, watched a you tube video on how to shoot heroin and stuck the needle in.
I Wish I Was Dead, But I’ll Settle for Addiction Rehab
I had never shot heroin before. I’ll never do it again. I stumbled back in the club, I remember seeing my friend’s eyes looking as big a CD’s I tried to grab the bar but missed, my head hit the bar I fell to the floor and started to puke. They told me my lips were blue. They said I looked dead, they said they can’t hang out with me anymore. I had Overdosed on heroin and I wish I was dead. Tomorrow I’ll head to addiction rehab in Florida. I’m scared, nervous and sad. I’m also just a tiny bit excited. I’ve seen the site before at my sisters house so, in an effort to keep the bottle out of my hand for the next few hours I thought I would write this all down and hope it can help others struggling with Drug and alcohol abuse. Take Care.
by A Women in Sobriety | Jan 12, 2017 | Addiction Articles, Blog, Sobriety For Women, Stories from Women in Sobriety
Submitted by Anonymous
I am a 57-year-old that actually worried I wouldn’t see 40 or wouldn’t be here to see my daughters grow up. I actually thought if I can just survive until Cass is 18 that will be ok, she can then look after Lucy who is 4 years younger.
I grew up in a pub, my Mother was a big drinker, Father not so much as you would notice and my teens years just hold memories of my Mother being drunk, only now and again…but enough for me to live in dread.
I always drank, from being a teenager I was the one who drank as much as the boys. I could always hold my drink but still carried on steadily drinking once I was married and then when I became a Mother. I didn’t drink during pregnancy because Mother Nature kicked in and took over there, making me ill.
A Visible Progression
My drinking gradually went to about 2 bottles of wine a night so still manageable. My Husband had an accident in 2000 and it changed a lot between us (he was in recovery) we stayed together but I met another man at work and boy, did he like a drink !!We got on famously and cutting a long story short we got married in 2010 and spent all out time drinking…. not sure how we held our jobs down. I previously had never drank during the day but by now, it was normal.
My two daughters were pretty horrified by our behavior and they managed to carry on with their own live because by now they were living with Sober Dad.
I had liver tests and was told by numerous Doctors to stop drinking, I lasted a month, sometimes 2 but any excuse started me back on the wine…oh, were going on holiday, oh my Dad has died.
Withering Away
Cutting to the end of this then, I had full blown ascites (swollen, fluid filled abdomen) and was almost skeletal as I just didn’t eat. We went on holiday with my Husband and his Sister/Brother in law and I had two drinks in the pub at lunchtime, then we went back to the cottage and I started vomiting blood profusely. This went on for hours as I wouldn’t let them call an ambulance and they were too far gone to be over worried. Finally, an ambulance took me to hospital at 2 in the morning and I was eventually taken into surgery to have all my bleeding veins tied up. By this time, I was bleeding from every orifice, ears, nose, eyes, back passage and was in total agony. The specialist came and told me that there was nothing more they could do and I would probably not survive another few hours. My entire family were summoned and my two daughters sat weeping at my bedside as I apologized to them for my drinking and sobbed as I knew I would never see them get married or have children of their own.
I was still here the following day and every day I had blood transfusions and more drips and fluids than you could imagine. I had 30 liters of fluid drained from my abdomen and continued to pass blood for weeks.
A Medical Medical
That was 4 years ago and I am now fit as a fiddle (nearly) weight about 3 stone more and have obviously never had a drink since nor a cigarette. I am on lifelong medication and the Doctors say they cannot believe that I lived
.
My Daughters are extremely proud of me now and I can only say that even though I knew my drinking was bad and not like other normal peoples, I never, ever thought that anything like that would happen to me. I have never really spoken in any detail about it much and people in my current job don’t even know that I don’t drink…. still too afraid of the stigma.
by A Women in Sobriety | Jan 5, 2017 | Addiction Articles, Blog, Sobriety For Women, Stories from Women in Sobriety
Submitted By Pam R
Desperately Keeping My Struggles Hidden
If you’d met me in 2003, you may have described me as an energetic, talented, mother of three beautiful daughters and wife of an excellent man. I was working as development director for the YMCA, was an accomplished member of the local running community, and was well respected as a mom, a professional, and an athlete. In truth, I was anxious, arrogant and fearful, self-medicating with alcohol, trying desperately to keep my struggles hidden. As my alcoholism slowly took control of my life, I began spiraling out of control. Ultimately, I received three DUIs within 18 months.
Planting Seeds in Jail
Desperate, empty and defeated, I finally entered treatment on April 17, 2006 – and took my first steps into sobriety. The foundation of recovery that saved my life was not built without extreme difficulty; I still faced the consequences of my DUI convictions, which included a three-month jail sentence. My program of recovery and my renewed faith sustained me, and even grew me, through that experience. When I walked out of that jail on Dec. 31, 2006, the seeds had been planted that would ultimately grow into my desire to help those fighting battles similar to mine, and to show them there is hope, there is redemption, and there is recovery.
Helping Others Every Day
Today, I serve as the Director of THP RUNS, an initiative of former NBA basketball player Chris Herren’s foundation, The Herren Project (THP). THP RUNS engages people to run, walk, and participate in healthy activities, helping each other, and others, live stronger, healthier lives. The initiative raises awareness and funding for THP’s mission, which includes providing addiction recovery resources, education and prevention initiatives across the country. I’ve relished the opportunity to run more than 65 marathons and ultra-marathons over the past 8 years, including participating in the Icebreaker Run, running across the country with 5 others to raise awareness for mental health issues and resources.
Ask and You Shall Receive
Without asking for help and finding my own recovery, none of my running success, let alone my personal or professional wellbeing, would be possible. The fact that I can work and run at all now, let alone do it while raising awareness and funding for recovery resources, is an outrageous, gift to me. Whether I’m sobbing or celebrating, my mantra is, “It is well with my soul.”
