by Sally Rosa | Nov 4, 2014 | Addiction Articles, Drug Addiction
Brett Rossi’s Overdose
Okay, Charlie Sheen didn’t kill his ex-fiancée Brett Rossi, but their unhealthy relationship may have contributed to her recent overdose.
This past weekend, Rossi, whose real name is Scottine Ross, was rushed to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles. She had reportedly overdosed on an unknown substance.
Thankfully, Rossi recovered and is no longer in critical condition.
Her overdose got me thinking about relationships in active addiction. Lord knows I’ve had enough of them!
How do relationships in active addiction impact addiction? How do these relationships fuel the flames of destructive behavior? And the million dollar question – is it possible to really love your significant other while in active addiction?
Dating in Active Addiction
I was actively drinking and drugging for seven years. During that time, I dated more than my fair share of guys, most of who were also drinking and drugging. There were a few unfortunate “normies” thrown in there. Luckily, I’ve been able to make amends to them in sobriety!
So, how did these relationships impact my addiction? Well, they fueled it. Having someone to cosign all of my insanity kept me drinking and drugging for longer than I should have. Having someone by my side, who was just as crazy as I was, made my behavior feel normal.
Not to mention, two addicts can scheme, plot, and scam better than one. My partner in crime, whoever that happened to be at the time, and I would create some sort of weird addict synergy. This also kept me drinking and drugging for longer than I would have otherwise.
Destructive Relationships
That’s my experience, but what about other types of destructive relationships? What about codependency, abusiveness, and general unhealthy behavior?
Well, these are all common to relationships in active addiction. After all, addiction and codependency go hand-in-hand. In active addiction, we’re not only physically, mentally, and spirituality sick, but emotionally sick as well. Having someone around to make us feel loved is huge. That’s been my experience, anyway.
Abusive relationships also go hand-in-hand with active addiction. I know countless boyfriends verbally abused me during my addiction. Thank God I was never physically or sexually abused, though I know that’s common for many female addicts.
As for general unhealthy behavior, that almost goes without saying.
Can Two Active Addicts Love Each Other?
I wish there was a simple answer to this question. Unfortunately, like a lot of factors involved in addiction, there’s no simple answer.
I think it’s possible for two active addicts to truly love each other. I also think it’s possible for two people who love each other to engage in destructive behavior together.
I know I loved at least one of the guys I dated in active addiction. That didn’t stop us from pulling each other down. Love didn’t stop us from hurting each other on an emotional, mental, and spiritual level.
So, what’s the solution to destructive relationships in active addiction? Simple. We get sober! If our significant others love us, they’ll support this decision. If our significant others really love us, they’ll follow suite and make some major changes in their lives too.
by Fiona Stockard | Oct 27, 2014 | Addiction Articles, Drug Addiction
An Unintended Overdose
One of our wonderful fans, the talented Ariana Galante, sent us this poem.
Ariana’s a high school junior from Pennsylvania. She wrote “The Risky Game” after her school hosted a drug awareness seminar.
She was moved by this seminar, saying it brought back memories of her experience with a family member’s addiction. She lived in constant fear of losing her sister. Today, she says, her sister is doing great and has been sober for a few years.
Thanks Ariana! You rock!
If any other Sobriety For Women fans would like to send us work, shoot an email to info@sobrietyforwomen.com. Remember, we can all change!
The Risky Game
One time.
One chance.
I take the risk.
Will it be my last?
Heavy eyes,
dizzy head,
I lay down,
on my bed.
Hurry please!
Come get me now!
Find me!
I’m beginning to drown.
I doze off.
I drift.
Flying high,
but now stiff.
She enters.
Sees me lying here,
coming closer,
touches my hair.
I’m cold.
She falls.
Grabs her phone,
and makes that call.
That dreaded day,
we are now apart,
my mistake,
her broken heart.
But for me,
what seemed like a fun time,
careless actions,
turned into the way I died.
–Ariana Galante
by Sally Rosa | Oct 13, 2014 | Drug Addiction
By: Tim Myers
Recognizing One of Your Own
If you wanted to know if your classmate was gay, you’d ask the opinion of your gay friends. If you wanted to know if your cousin was a tiger, you wouldn’t ask a monkey. You’d ask another tiger. If you’re wondering if you’re hot enough to be a stripper, you wouldn’t ask your priest. You’d ask another stripper. So, if you’re wondering if your co-worker is an alcoholic, just ask another alcoholic.
Only a tiger knows what it’s like to look, walk, stalk, and smell like a tiger. Only a striper can let you know if you really have what it takes to be a stripper. If you’re trying to figure out if your classmate is gay (why do you even care?), you’ll only get an unbiased and non-judgmental opinion from one of your gay friends.
Now, assuming all the above is true, and lets just say it is – than I’m the perfect person to tell you the top five signs that your co-worker is an alcoholic. Guess why? Because, yep, I’m an alcoholic.
5) They’re Late to Work 90% of the Time
I can count on one finger how often I was on time for work when I was drinking. It almost never happened.
Ten alarms were set, but I never woke up. I put my work uniform on before I went to bed. It didn’t matter. I even slept in my car, in my work uniform, parked outside the front door of my work, and I still punched in late!
That lack of care for anything other than alcohol did it. Drinking and nursing a hangover were the only things I cared about. Since they weren’t selling alcohol in the footwear section, I didn’t give two s**ts about being on time.
4) They Always Look Like They Just Got Out of Bed
Alcoholics always looks like they’re just getting out of bed because they are always just getting out of bed! Or they’re getting off the sidewalk or out of jail.
Even when I didn’t have to be to work ‘till three in the afternoon, I still managed to sleep until 2:45. “This is great! I’ll sleep until 11, go for a jog, read a little, eat a healthy lunch, and go to work.” The alcoholic never does that. I’d always plan to, but at one in the morning that hooker on the corner, and that twenty-four hour Taco Bell, look like heaven on earth.
3) Their Car is Dented All Over
Normal people hit a pole, stop the car, and get it fixed soon after. Alcoholics hit a pole, back up, turn, hit the pole again, back up, go a block, hit another poles, smoke a cigarette and sleep until morning.
Do we get the car fixed? Nope! I’ve only got twelve dollars ‘till next Friday…that gallon of vodka costs five bucks and cigarettes cost six and my dog needs food.
2) They Call Out of Work and Claim Their Grandma Died
I feel like I need some sort of counseling or something, do you know how hard it is to give the eulogy at all fifteen of your grandmothers’ funerals? I mean, I know I should just be thankful that I’m the only kid in the history of the world who got to enjoy fifteen different grandmothers, but man! Saying goodbye to Dorothy, Sofia, Blanche, Rose, Anne, Roseanne, AnnRose, Martha 1 and 2, Dotty, Fran, Bella, Anna, Annabelle, and Dot is hard!
If your co-worker’s grandma dies and your co-worker doesn’t come in to work the next day – they’re an alcoholic and their Grandma is just fine.
1) They Always Smell Like Alcohol
That’s just what we smell like.
by Sally Rosa | Oct 6, 2014 | Drug Addiction
Written By: Fiona Stockard
The Saga of Michael Phelps
Last week, Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps was arrested for drunk driving. That story made me ask the question of whether Michael is an addict and alcoholic.
After all, this isn’t his first run in with the law. He was arrested in 2004 for a DUI. In 2009, an infamous picture of him smoking a bong surfaced. It seems like Michael certainly exhibits some classic alcoholic tendencies. He continues to drink and drug in spite of negative consequences.
Ultimately, the only person who can say if Michael Phelps is an addict or alcoholic is Michael Phelps himself. Well, he may be identifying as one of us sooner than expected.
Michael Phelps Decides to Enter Rehab
On Sunday, October 5th, Michael announced via his twitter that he’d be entering “a program.” Sounds like treatment to me. Good job, Michael! I think that’s a pretty mature decision.
The swimmer tweeted that “…right now I need to focus my attention on me as an individual, and do the necessary work to learn from this experience and make better decisions in the future.” His agency later confirmed that he’d be going into a six-week, inpatient treatment program.
Rock on, Mike! I’d like to applaud your commitment to self growth, even if this is only a public relations move. I entered treatment unwilling and learned a lot of important information. In fact, even though I drank after treatment, seeking help was the first step in my recovery journey.
I wish you nothing but the best, Michael. If you learn you’re an addict and alcoholic, know that there are so many resources out there. You have a ton of fans, many of whom are in recovery themselves, rooting for you. Get help and return to the public eye as a story of inspiration and hope. Show the world, Michael, that we can all get better!
by Sally Rosa | Sep 30, 2014 | Drug Addiction
Written By: Fiona Stockard
Michael Phelps Arrested for DUI…Again!
In the early morning of September 30th, Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps was pulled over by the Maryland police. He was driving eighty-five miles per hours in a forty-five mph zone. That was their first clue something was up.
After checking his license and registration, officers noticed Michael seemed to be a bit…inebriated. They performed a field sobriety test, which he failed. It turns out his blood-alcohol level was almost twice the legal limit.
Sounds like a fun night, Mike!
Déjà Vu
This was Michael’s second DUI arrest. He was pulled over for driving while intoxicated back in ancient history, aka 2004. He was nineteen, not even old enough to legally drink!
Michael struck a plea deal with prosecutors. He avoided jail time in exchange for fines and eighteen months of probation.
In 2009, Michael was famously photographed smoking weed. This led to a three-month suspension and the loss of his lucrative Kellogg’s sponsorship deal.
Through all this partying, Michael Phelps remains the most decorated Olympic athlete in U.S. history. He’s won a career total of eighteen gold medals. He’s inspired countless young athletes.
More importantly, he’s performed his a*s off and set an example of how an athlete should behave, on the field anyway. Off the field, though? That’s a different story.
Is Michael Phelps an Addict and Alcoholic?
Okay, so Michael Phelps likes to party. Who doesn’t? Normal people can take it or leave it. They have no consequences as a result of their alcohol or drug use. Michael’s gotten some consequences, but does that make him an addict and alcoholic?
I’m not so sure. See, being an addict or an alcoholic has nothing to do with the consequences of our use. Yes, addicts and alcoholics seem to get into trouble when we use. In fact, addicts and alcoholics almost always get into trouble when we use. That’s not what makes us different, though.
Addiction and alcoholism are three-part diseases. They consist of a physical allergy, coupled with a mental obsession, topped off with a spiritual malady. Consequences have nothing to do with it.
I’m an addict and alcoholic because I obsess about drinking until I finally take a drink. I’m an addict and alcoholic because once I start drinking, I don’t stop. Period. I’m an addict and alcoholic because of why I turned to alcohol and drugs in the first place.
Michael Phelps? I don’t know. It certainly seems like his use is chronic and progressing. Those are both key components of addiction and alcoholism. But once he starts, can be stop? Is he powerless over the obsession to drug and drink? The only one who can answer that question is Michael Phelps himself.
