by Fiona Stockard | Jun 5, 2014 | Addiction Articles, Recovery
Written By: Katie Schipper
Remembering What It Was Like Out There
For any woman who’s made it to the point where they attend a women’s treatment center, the idea that there was anything good left in continuing to get high sounds insane. Knowing that intellectually is pretty obvious, but remembering on a daily basis what our lives used to be like? Well, that isn’t always so easy. See, us addicts have a peculiar mental proclivity towards euphoric recall. That’s when we decide that active addiction actually had quite a few perks (no, not those perks!) and that drinking and using resulted in fun stuff.
Maybe that’s true. It probably is for most people, because most people don’t start out at the bottom. For the real alcoholic and addict though? The reality of our lives in active addition is misery, tragedy, and loss. The reality of our lives is misery, tragedy, and loss for everyone involved, not just ourselves. The memory of this pain will fade and warp in our minds. To stave off euphoric recall and the idea that addiction has anything to offer, the newly sober woman might want to find some new things to do.
Some women start collecting tattoos. Why you might want to think twice.
Having Hobbies
There’s a really amazing and very simple way to make sobriety appealing: pick up some hobbies!
Sometimes, it’s a great idea to look to your past. What were things you loved to do in high school, or even further back? Think about sports that made you feel good. Did you like to read, or paint, or be outside? Make a list, choose things you like.
If you haven’t ever had hobbies you love, now’s a really stellar time to start. Think about the things you’ve always wanted to do, but never did because you were a) drunk b) high c) in a codependent relationship d) all of the above. Go do one. Go do them all.
The idea is to do something. You’ll hear a million times in the rooms of alcoholics anonymous , “I didn’t get sober to be miserable.” The reality is that once you choose to get sober and to take recovery seriously, you get to decide if you’re miserable. That doesn’t mean you get to choose whether you feel pain or negative emotions. Those happen, they’re a part of life. As for your overall happiness, your day-to-day contentment, your ability and willingness to experience joy – that’s all yours for the taking.
Hobbies aren’t only an incredible source of fun and fulfillment, they can also be a path to self-discovery. Learning who you really are is one of the many, infinite, and endless gifts of sobriety.
If you feel like you have no interests, or don’t know what your interests are, start by sitting quietly and envisioning yourself happy. What surrounds you? What are you doing? Try to set aside judgment and doubt.
If all else fails, find someone who seems happy. Find someone who seems to be sober and having fun. What’s she doing? Tag along until you find things you like and make them your own!
See why Delray Beach is a great place to recover!
by Fiona Stockard | May 23, 2014 | Addiction Articles, Recovery
Written By: Katie Schipper
Why Does Choosing a Good Roommate Matter?
Early recovery can often feel like a constant onslaught of suggestions, advice, appointments, therapy, outpatient, meetings, step-work, and so on. The list of things that must be considered can seem never ending!
Why, on top of everything else, does choosing the right roommate matter? Of course, certain qualities are obvious. It’s probably not a great idea to move in with someone who’s getting high or drunk. And maybe avoid moving in with the boy you met in rehab. There’s more to choosing a roommate than just the obvious though, it deserves some attention and thought.
Learning how to live sober is a process. Finding a roommate and building a home (that isn’t a recreation of the chaos you lived in during active addiction) is more than just not using in that home. Finding the right roommate matters because finding a roommate can be one of the first steps in achieving balance. It can be one of the first steps towards living in harmony as a sober woman, outside of an inpatient treatment center, a halfway house, or even a Florida intensive outpatient program.
The following suggestions are based on the assumption that you’re leaving a halfway house after finishing a commitment.
Does quality substance abuse treatment still exist?
Things to Consider in a Roommate
Like any other individual choice, the following qualities to look for in a roommate are only suggestions.
Sometimes, the easiest thing to do is pick a friend and roll with it, regardless of who she is or where she’s at in her recovery (if she’s even in recovery). Often, the easiest thing leads to a lot of extra anxiety and stress! So, before choosing someone just because, consider a few ideas.
- If you’re moving in with someone who’s not in recovery, is this something that will interfere with your recovery?
If the answer is maybe or yes, it’s not worth the risk it poses. Also, do you know that their drinking/using is that of a normal, social user? If you can’t say yes to that question with certainty, it’s a good idea to find someone else.
Now if your potential roommate is in recovery, consider a few things, things that have been found to be largely true across the board.
- Is your roommate through her steps?
If not, consider finding someone who is. If you aren’t through your steps, consider getting through them before leaving your halfway house. Steps completed = some level of sanity has returned. This results in less likelihood of drama in your home!
- Can you find someone who has taken the time to build her recovery through treatment, IOP, and step-work?
- Find someone with whom you can be honest
Honesty usually isn’t a strong point for addicts, so building a roommate relationship based on honesty and openness is a really great foundation for future relationships.
- Find someone who is employable and employed
- Find someone who has similar values or requirements in a roommate as you
For example, if you’re cool with having overnight guests regularly, but your potential roommate isn’t, that’s going to become an issue.
Are you an alcoholic with an anxiety disorder? This article is about you!
What Makes a House a Home?
All of the above are starting points for finding a roommate. If the right roommate isn’t immediately in front of you, don’t pick a random girl! It’s not always wise to jump into a living arrangement with your best friend from IOP, or with someone you’re just getting to know. Be patient and wait until you find someone who you believe you could live with harmoniously.
Having a sober home, a harmonious home, a home instead of a house, is new to most addicts. It’s definitely something worth seeking.
by Sally Rosa | May 15, 2014 | Addiction Articles, Recovery
The Importance of a Home Group
Written By: Katie Schipper
What Is a Home Group?
Many in Florida Recovery Programs encourage individuals to seek a home group. A home group is the twelve-step meeting someone chooses to be a member of. Most groups have open membership and joining is usually as simple as telling another home group member. While addicts are welcome to attend all meetings, a home group serves as an important anchor for any woman’s addiction Florida recovery program.
Twelve-step meetings usually hold monthly business meetings. This is when members share their ideas for bettering the group. It’s also when meeting issues are discussed and solved, based on group conscience (the majority opinion of members).
Why Have a Home Group?
Home groups are often called the “heartbeat of AA.” It’s within a home group that newly sober women begin to learn how AA works and what it really means to be sober. Within the home group, newcomers are able to take service positions and meet those with long-term recovery. All the little things that make twelve-step programs so amazing are best observed within the home group setting. It’s there the wisdom and miracle of AA is shared freely among members. Service work starts by attending business meetings and taking an active role in AA life.
Choosing a home group is a foundation of long-recovery. Additionally, many individuals find it helpful to include self-help groups with professional therapy in their Florida Recovery Program. With a home group comes a sense of belonging and responsibility. These were pretty much absent from our life during active addiction! Choosing a home group is one of the first major steps we take towards breaking the deep sense of isolation which ruled our lives.
How Do You Choose a Home Group?
For women in early-recovery, the first step to finding a home group is to attend the same meetings regularly. Going to women’s meeting narrows the choice of potential home groups down. If all women’s meetings aren’t available, mixed meetings are definitely okay. Just remember, stay away from the boys! It’s okay to make any group a temporary home group, you don’t have to wait around for the “perfect” group
As time goes on, if the group you chose doesn’t work, find another one! Like most things in AA, finding a home group shouldn’t be an overly serious matter.
Having a home group isn’t a requirement of twelve-step recovery, it’s not even necessary to stay sober, but there’s nothing more powerful in early-recovery than finding a place among women – strong, sober women.
AA membership isn’t denied to anyone. It’s open to anyone who wants to stop drinking and start living a better life! Home group membership is just as relaxed and is a solid addiction to your addiction recovery program.
by Sally Rosa | May 9, 2014 | Addiction Articles, Recovery
Written By: Anjelica Galante
Is Homelessness a Consequence of Our Actions?
We suffer many consequences during active addiction to drugs and alcohol. We lose lose our spirituality, our friends, our families, our material possessions, our minds, our morals, our homes, and so much more. After pushing everyone and everything away, we may find ourselves sleeping on the street, desperate for one more high. This vicious cycle can go on for days, months, even years. In the case of Eric, it was years and years.
A Nice and Respectable Homeless Man
Eric was called a “nice and respectable homeless man,” by the people in his Virginia neighborhood. Most of us addicts are nice a respectable! We just get dragged down to hell because of our so called “solution,” drugs and booze. Most people don’t understand that addicts are nice, smart, and determined people. If we’re able to break the cycle of active addiction, we can get back on our feet and live a life beyond anyone’s wildest dreams! Some people turn to addiction treatment to get well. Other people move or seek transitional housing. In this case, Eric got pranked into sobriety! How does that happen? Well, it only takes one good Samaritan to change someone’s life.
He Rigged the Lottery
A local man named Rahat knew Eric. Rahat would see Eric day after day and the two struck up an unlikely friendship. Rahat wanted to do something nice for Eric, so he hatched a plan. One day, he approached Eric on the street. “I don’t have any cash, but I do have this winning lottery ticket. I’m not sure how much I won, but you can cash it and keep whatever it is.”
Eric cashed the ticket, found out he won $1,000, and immediately burst into tears of gratitude. He insisted that Rahat share the money. Since that day, Rahat and Eric have been close friends. Rahat soon started a campaign to raise money for Eric. Once the video of Eric cashing in the lottery ticket hit the internet, it went viral. Rahat was able to raise over $40,000 in under twenty days! He bought Eric a beautiful home, new clothes, supplies, electronics, furniture, and more!
Rahat tricked Eric into thinking they were going out to dinner to celebrate Eric getting a job. Rahat took Eric to his house and, once they were inside, revealed to Eric that it was actually his house now! Eric, in disbelief, was speechless and grateful from the very bottom of his heart and soul.
Eric Isn’t Homeless Anymore
Today, Eric isn’t homeless any longer. He’s clean cut, hardworking, employed, sober, and living everyday to the fullest. He has a roof over his head and food in his stomach.
This inspirational story touched the hearts of thousands of people across the world, including mine. Now, I’m not saying that you should wait around to win the lottery while going through tough times in your life. I am trying to raise awareness about the homeless and addiction. Us addicts have heart, gratitude, perseverance, determination, and survival skills!
The Journey to Recovery
Everyone has their own journey, their own success story, their own unique tale of pulling themselves from hell, but we ALL need a little push to get there. Most of the time, it isn’t until another human being opens our eyes that we see what we’re really work. Once we realize the value of our life, a fire’s started that can’t be extinguished.
If you’re a woman struggling with addiction and don’t know how to end the cycle of pain, we’re here to help. We’re here to give you that push, to make you realize you’re self worth, to show you there’s a better way. We’re here to guide you through the trauma, to love you until you learn to love yourself.
For more information Call 844-SOBER-WOMEN.
by Sally Rosa | Mar 20, 2014 | Addiction Articles, Recovery
Am I Ready To Move From My Halfway House?
As a women in recovery, becoming a productive member of society and growing into a self-supporting human being is important! A Halfway House, or sober-living home, is a safe and structured environment for us in early-sobriety. Deciding when to move out of a halfway house can be stressful!
Here are some questions (and answers!) to help point you in the right direction.
1) Have You Completed The Twelve-Steps?
If you’re in a twelve-step program, completing the steps is the first thing you should do. Wait, I lied. Getting a sponsor is the first thing you should do. After all, you can’t work the steps without a sponsor!
Working the twelve-steps is the main goal of early-recovery. Afterwards, you get to cary the message and help other addicts and alcoholics.
2) Are You Moving With Roommates?
Moving out with roommates can be tricky. Make sure that whoever you move with is responsible! A good way to tell is to ask them these five questions! If you don’t want to do that, try asking some of the questions below.
-Are your potential roommates in recovery?
-Are you at risk if they’re not sober?
-What happens if they relapse while you’re living together?
-Is relapse a risk for you?
-Do they work a good program and help others?
-Are they able to pay their bills?
-Have they had a roommate before?
These are all things you should discuss before moving with anyone. Talk with your sponsor and sober supports. Maybe moving to a three fourths house is smarter than moving into an apartment. Above all, pray on it!
3) Are You Financially Stable?
Having and sticking to a budget is important to recovery. Moving out and being held financially accountable is pretty damn stressful! Add that to all the other stress and maybe you’re better off staying put (at least for a little while!).
Make sure that you’ve mapped out a secure budget and gone over it with someone experienced.
4) Are You Being Honest With Yourself?
Though this probably seems like a hard question to answer, it’s as easy as asking yourself two questions.
-What’re my motives?
-Do I have any reservations?
If your motives are genuine and you’re trying to progress in your life, then it might be time. However, if you have any reservations, it’s not the best time to move and you should probably wait (duh!).
5) What Do Other Sober Women Say?
Ask your sponsor, peers, family, sober supports, and halfway house managers what they think. If you’re doing the right thing, they’ll be encouraging and excited for you to move on. If they suggestion staying longer, then you should follow their suggestions. Those closest to you see you day in and day out. They’ll be able to tell if you’re ready to move or not.
Read testimonials about living in a Sober Living environment!
